Post: #26

Hey, some of us are just lucky like that.

Post: #27

(09-30-2013 06:19 AM)Steve9 Wrote:  Good question.

I think one of the reasons is that both men and women are extremely picky these days. We get exposed to all these "perfect" people in the media, and there are so many options to meet new girls through work, nightlife, hobbies, online, etc.

So we can be in a relationship with a great girl, but won't commit because we think we can find someone better or hotter.

Me exactly. Too picky. And expecting too much from one woman. If she's nice, cute, sexual, feminine, it's insane to want her to have to play in your band too.

Post: #28

But seriously, why not be single? A rotating harem of three or four - or even just two - is preferable to a non-rotating harem of one. The option to bang new ones whenever it's convenient without hassle is good. And you have more options in your 30s than 20s if you have your life together. Early 30s is the best time to be single. This has been my experience. The reason to NOT be single is ultimately to have children and a legacy...that's my opinion. When it's time, I'll reassess.

Post: #29

(09-30-2013 08:23 AM)cardguy Wrote:  I think I am very much an outlier. Indeed - I don't understand relationships. I mean - sex with the same chick gets a bit boring after awhile. And personality wise - I have met fifty guys who are cooler and more interesting than the most interesting chick I have met.

I have a similar problem, it's from being in wealthy countries where women are deluded that they have some great purpose. Some do, they are good doctors or some other profession, but a lot of the others serve best as a supportive mate for a husband

In that ( the historically normal case) you wouldn't be looking for her to be interesting, you'd be expecting her to cook, clean, cheer you up, and fuck.

But you may indeed be an outlier if you want to spend many of your evenings alone. I find it depressing, and going to bars is insane when you're 50.

Post: #30

I don't think there's really a good answer, being single as a male past a certain age (varies with country/region) is only celebrated if you're a prince, celebrity, rockstar, or millionaire playboy in NYC/LA/Paris. Otherwise, you're probably at very least suspected to be gay, lacking in game to keep a woman long term, or both. For a regular guy, even if he's a legit player, it's very hard to escape those stereotypes if he's single and has been single for a long time.

It's actually better to be suspected as gay than "low game" in my opinion. A woman can still be attracted to a gay guy, but she cannot be attracted to a straight man she deems unfit/unworthy. Think of all those women who say they wish Wentworth Miller or Matt Bomer were straight.

My opinion, almost all guys who are single past mid 30s are single because they cannot get the woman of their dreams in the long term. Some guys just don't care, know they can't do better and accept it. A lot of guys are happy to be with an average or below average women, even some alphas. As much as many guys will deny it, I think most guys in the player lifestyle would be ok with a solid 7, if they're above that age.

Ratios in the west aren't exactly in favor of men as well.

Post: #31

(10-01-2013 01:46 AM)la_mode Wrote:  My opinion, almost all guys who are single past mid 30s are single because they cannot get the woman of their dreams in the long term. Some guys just don't care, know they can't do better and accept it.

I agree with that. Its a bit depressing because it appears you are left with 2 choices :

a) Settle for someone who is "good enough" and resign yourself to a boring and predictable life, but you will have a companion.

b) Continue looking for your "dream woman", accepting the fact there is a high probability that you will never find her and end up becoming a lonely old man.

Post: #32

I think "dream woman" is a silly concept.

Post: #33

(10-01-2013 01:46 AM)la_mode Wrote:  I don't think there's really a good answer, being single as a male past a certain age (varies with country/region) is only celebrated if you're a prince, celebrity, rockstar, or millionaire playboy in NYC/LA/Paris. Otherwise, you're probably at very least suspected to be gay, lacking in game to keep a woman long term, or both. For a regular guy, even if he's a legit player, it's very hard to escape those stereotypes if he's single and has been single for a long time.

It's actually better to be suspected as gay than "low game" in my opinion. A woman can still be attracted to a gay guy, but she cannot be attracted to a straight man she deems unfit/unworthy. Think of all those women who say they wish Wentworth Miller or Matt Bomer were straight.

My opinion, almost all guys who are single past mid 30s are single because they cannot get the woman of their dreams in the long term. Some guys just don't care, know they can't do better and accept it. A lot of guys are happy to be with an average or below average women, even some alphas. As much as many guys will deny it, I think most guys in the player lifestyle would be ok with a solid 7, if they're above that age.

Ratios in the west aren't exactly in favor of men as well.

Could this be career dependent? I think career service members have a good social excuse to be single. Also guys in the merchant marines who spend half their life or more at sea also seem like they would have a good excuse to be single.

It would take a really shady excuse of a person to question the lifestyle choice (that of being a single straight male) of an old soldier or sailor. I don't think polite society would look down upon a man in those situations.

Post: #34

(10-01-2013 09:12 AM)ralphi Wrote:  Could this be career dependent? I think career service members have a good social excuse to be single. Also guys in the merchant marines who spend half their life or more at sea also seem like they would have a good excuse to be single.

Ralphi: I don't know why any "guy" would feel that he needs to defend himself regarding being single.. maybe even a lifetime bachelor, in spite of careers. But yes, some careers logically follow that a "guy" would not have a woman and/or family with him during his work... and accordingly, may not spend as much of his time around women and children... o.k?

(10-01-2013 09:12 AM)ralphi Wrote:  It would take a really shady excuse of a person to question the lifestyle choice (that of being a single straight male) of an old soldier or sailor. I don't think polite society would look down upon a man in those situations.

I do not know what "polite society" has to do with anything of this discussion. People in society think what they think, and some of the thoughts are coming from a certain segment of society... but so what? Why does that really matter to an RVF member?

I do agree with any implication that guys may be affected by what people think in terms of gaming opportunities and the DTFness of women; however, I also believe that a large majority of RVF "guys" don't really ponder too much about what "polite society" or any other part of society thinks.

Anyhow, I am struck a little by your choice of words and considerations about what people may or may not think.

Is that what you think? What career are you in? Are you considering a merchant marine type career or something similar?

Post: #35

Lets see. I`m 45 never married, no children, had a vasectomy, slim and muscular, great health, decent head of hair......

I have always loved chasing girls and was never satisfied with being with one for a long long time. Everyone is different in what they want. I have always enjoyed the freedom to do whatever i want. So much fruit to taste out there in the world so why be stuck with the same one all the time!

Single works for me very well.

Post: #36

(10-01-2013 09:12 AM)ralphi Wrote:  Could this be career dependent? I think career service members have a good social excuse to be single. Also guys in the merchant marines who spend half their life or more at sea also seem like they would have a good excuse to be single.

It would take a really shady excuse of a person to question the lifestyle choice (that of being a single straight male) of an old soldier or sailor. I don't think polite society would look down upon a man in those situations.

I get asked all the time why I've never been married or have no kids. It's a legit question. My answer:

"I've spent years in the military or fighting wars, and didn't want to be selfish by having a wife and kids at home wondering if daddy was returning home in a box. The right girl just hasn't come along to make me lay down my gun hang up my boots."

Women love a challenge.

Post: #37

(10-01-2013 01:22 AM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

(09-30-2013 08:23 AM)cardguy Wrote:  I think I am very much an outlier. Indeed - I don't understand relationships. I mean - sex with the same chick gets a bit boring after awhile. And personality wise - I have met fifty guys who are cooler and more interesting than the most interesting chick I have met.

I have a similar problem, it's from being in wealthy countries where women are deluded that they have some great purpose. Some do, they are good doctors or some other profession, but a lot of the others serve best as a supportive mate for a husband

In that ( the historically normal case) you wouldn't be looking for her to be interesting, you'd be expecting her to cook, clean, cheer you up, and fuck.

But you may indeed be an outlier if you want to spend many of your evenings alone. I find it depressing, and going to bars is insane when you're 50.

I don't like going to bars much - unless it is to hang out with friends or my brothers.

As for evenings. I love being on my own. I spend all day at work chatting non-stop. So it is nice to have some down time where I can kick back with a good book. Only thing I am thinking of at the moment is joining a gym.

Nothing better than a sauna in the winter.

Post: #38

Most of you guys are older than me, so I can give a different perspective from someone who has just started their twenties.

Before game a year ago, I was always worried about not having ever had a relationship. It bothered me in the back of my mind, and I always dreaded being asked the question 'why don't you have a girlfriend?' or 'have you ever had a girlfriend?'

Nowadays, my perspective has changed. If I'm in a good state at the time or witty enough when I get asked that question, I'll just say 'its complicated.' But more likely I will say 'i haven't felt the need to get into anything serious'.

Pre game days, I had the goal of getting a girlfriend. Even when I first started, I still had the goal of getting a quality girl. Now that has changed.

I now want more sexual experience. Whether that be from banging the same girl many times or banging new girls. I want to see more than one girl at a time. Some girls I want to cuddle with after sex and chat about meaningless things, others I want to pump and dump.

Being 'single' right now and always actively chasing something new is challenging, and at times exhausting. But I feel it is essential so that I can develop my game. It is an investment.

I'm open minded, so if by chance a girl I really find is quality at a point in time wants me to become exclusive after we've been seeing each other for a bit, I might give it a go. But in that scenario I'm not sure how long I could go for. Inevitably once I am at the point where a quality girl wants me all to herself my game is strong enough to attract many quality girls. What is to keep me from going after other girls who want to be with me as well? An exclusive girlfriend?

Post: #39

(10-01-2013 06:42 AM)SeanBateman Wrote:  I think "dream woman" is a silly concept.

Yep. I always dream of multiple women. Why not, it's a dream!

I think most of us are singles because most live in an Anglo country where girls are not raised to be wives (LTR girlfriend is supposed to be like a wife without the certificate), so even if we want to be in a LTR for whatever reason, it's hard to find a good candidate *and* good incentives to.

Post: #40

Im 20 and never had a girlfriend, I would be quite open to having a girlfriend if she was a nice normal slim girl, just for the novelty of it and to see how would I react to having one. It'd be quite interesting to see as how I think I will react to a situation is completely different to how I deal with it in practice.

But thinking into the future I think id probably like a LTR when im older but you cant really plan things

Post: #41

Because Monogamy doesn't work.

Yeah I know you're in love etc. . .but after a while (at the most 3 years) you just find things WRONG with the woman you are with, that usually snowballs untill you can't stand each other, usually the woman realizes this a lot faster than the man does and tries to get out of the relationship. etc etc. . .

being with one woman for the rest of your life doesn't work.

It "Worked" in the past because many men (99.999
%) were fooling around on their wives in the past, the women of that era just didn't make a fuss usually. It was a Man's world. As long as he didn't flaunt it and make it known to everyone.

but because of this, and the social pressures to not get divorced, the family stayed intact for the most part.


It's cool that you've found someone "Amazing" but unless she's going to be cool with you banging chicks on the side (or you plan on doing that behind he rback anyway) that is not going to last for the rest of your life.

Post: #42

I have two main personal reasons:

1. You really hold yourself back by being in a LTR when you're a young guy. How are you ever going to learn who you are or how to be successful when you spent your young life tending to the needs of another person? I know a couple of my (former) friends who got serious with a girl and eventually got married around their mid to late 20s. None of us who still have our freedom envy those guys, they have no fucking life at all and only had a brief glimpse of adulthood to figure it all out. That isn't nearly enough time.

2. I have to be alone in order to truly relax. Many people seem to enjoy having other people on top of them all the time, but I generally don't. Most women annoy the shit out of me after a few hours regardless of looks. I just can't force myself to tolerate them for very long. When I was younger and tried normal "dates" a few times they were horrible, boring experiences for me and I would usually just leave as soon as I could because I genuinely did not enjoy them at all.

Post: #43

Where to start with this one:

A lot of this 'red-pill' stuff I understood before I 'discovered' it. I knew that a girl could leave at any moment if a better opportunity came around. I knew looks played more of a factor in it than women would let on. I knew even the 'good' ones had dirt. I knew that women would treat relationships how men treat sex. That is to say, men like sex for sex's sake, so we'll have sex with a girl even if we're not really into her. Women like dating a guy for the sake of dating someone (same could be said about getting married), so it doesn't mean they're really into you. However, in spite of all this, I'd still try to see the good and give the benefit of the doubt, only for things to blow up in my face. I always had the red pill on my tongue, but experience made me swallow it. I knew it, but I never really embraced it before. I've had trust issues, and I use to think it was just something wrong with me, but time, experience, and learning from here has made me realize some (a lot) of that lack of trust is warranted, even if some of it is still just me (see the recent posts on the guy finding his girl's diary and the guy walking in on his girlfriend).

Another big thing, kind of going to the "dating for the sake of dating" thing I mentioned above, I never really felt "connected" to these girls. The bond, no matter how lovey dovey and sexual they were, always felt like it could dissipate at any moment. As if there is a distance between us that simply by the nature of things can't really ever be bridged. And I see it in girls around me in relationships. I'll be 30 in a few months, and the girls around my age all have guys, but they're not really into these guys. It's the comfort of having someone that they're into. And they all seem to be beat up/hung up on past experiences. The guys don't seem to have that baggage and are giving these girls their authentic selves. I don't sense that from the women. The connection they have seems to be simply that they spend time together. Nothing special, just gives them something to talk to their girlfriends about.

And finally, a motif of my life that's really given me some perspective has been being the 'other guy'. I've cheated, I've been cheated on, but the real eye-opening experiences have been being the guy a girl is cheating with. In every one (and some of these were very much the 'good girl' types), I was amazed a the lack of concern or guilt they had over what was being done. At the time, I was younger and just having fun, but experiencing this again and again made me start to think more about it. They say power corrupts, and young women have a lot of it. While it may not last, they really can have their cake and eat it too for a while (I hate to sound petty, but on some level I can't help but be a little jealous of how easy the dating game seems to be for them, at least compared to my struggles at times). And someone with power like that you can't really trust. It's just a fact of life. And the guys who were trusting these women were getting the shaft hard (one guy is married to the girl now). I guess to summarize this point, it was really the ability to lie and the comfort women had with it really got to me over time.

While I'm sure there's more I could add, I'll leave with that right now. It's the culmination of these things that make me avoidant of relationships.

Post: #44

From age 18 - 3 LTR's totaling 12 years. An 8 year marriage, and two other LTR's.

So 12-13 years of my life was spent;
-Spending significant time with these women
-Basically torching my 20's-mid 30's
-Spending enormous sums of money on these women.
-Neglecting; making more money, not traveling, not playing music, not reading/educating myself, saving money/investing.
-Sacrificing my health and happiness by constantly fighting and dealing with drama and their baggage.
-Basically I gave over the best years of my life to some undeserving women.

All because I believed in 'love'. But I totally regret it now. Spending all this time, energy, money, etc on women was/is a complete waste of time. And this is what every women does to you, even when gaming, you pay the price of time and energy getting the lay. I look at these poor saps in miserable marriages, wasting their time and money on someone who in the end is just making their lives miserable. Whats it worth?

For the guys that are in relationships who are active on this board, just admit it to yourself, you desperately want to escape, right? Thats why you're here.

On top of that there are just too many beautiful women in this world to just settle on one.

I would tell any young man not to have a girlfriend. Save your money and time, and focus on the things that really matter to you. I dont want one, and came here earlier this year as I was getting out of an 8 month LTR with what I thought was the sexiest woman I had ever been with. She is still texting right now after I broke up with her in July. She takes my time, energy, money, focus, etc. And all she wants is babies and my money. And I dont have that to give. And make no mistake, they all do, thats all they really want.

Post: #45

(10-03-2013 10:49 PM)puckman Wrote:  -Neglecting; making more money, not traveling, not playing music, not reading/educating myself, saving money/investing.
-Sacrificing my health and happiness by constantly fighting and dealing with drama and their baggage.

Those are the real killers for me. It's bad enough to have to waste several years of your life in school or at work as a formality, but having to come home to someone wasting your free time in addition to all that is a whole other level of fuckery that I have zero tolerance for.

Post: #46

(10-03-2013 11:05 PM)Vitriol Wrote:  

(10-03-2013 10:49 PM)puckman Wrote:  -Neglecting; making more money, not traveling, not playing music, not reading/educating myself, saving money/investing.
-Sacrificing my health and happiness by constantly fighting and dealing with drama and their baggage.

Those are the real killers for me. It's bad enough to have to waste several years of your life in school or at work as a formality, but having to come home to someone wasting your free time in addition to all that is a whole other level of fuckery that I have zero tolerance for.

dont make the mistakes I did. live your life, explore the world, make and keep your money, become a real man first.

Post: #47

(10-03-2013 11:12 PM)puckman Wrote:  

(10-03-2013 11:05 PM)Vitriol Wrote:  

(10-03-2013 10:49 PM)puckman Wrote:  -Neglecting; making more money, not traveling, not playing music, not reading/educating myself, saving money/investing.
-Sacrificing my health and happiness by constantly fighting and dealing with drama and their baggage.

Those are the real killers for me. It's bad enough to have to waste several years of your life in school or at work as a formality, but having to come home to someone wasting your free time in addition to all that is a whole other level of fuckery that I have zero tolerance for.

dont make the mistakes I did. live your life, explore the world, make and keep your money, become a real man first.

Hey Puckman,

At least you got away without any kids, right? Kids would have been an additional burden.

Currently, i own a business with a girl, and luckily, she has a boyfriend, but she tends to select guys that are flight risks, so there will be more drama when this current boyfriend leaves and that will likely negatively affects my business with the girl. I would like to liquidate my portion of the business; however, so far, liquidation of my portion has not been a feasible option... so my situation is almost as bad as a marriage in some ways.

Post: #48

I'm really not actually. I just have defined rules from a position of power.

Post: #49

Burnt by a LTR. Learnt game about a year into it, changed for the better but the foundations were there. It was always a power play that I wasn't willing to participate in anymore. Ended it. Moved onto greener pastures, realised what I've been missing...

I will enter a LTR sometime in the future, only to ensure I can have kids.

Post: #50

Listen to the old classic rock song "Maggie May" by Rod Stewart for an answer as to why I'm single. And try not to live that scenario out yourself if you can help it.