Excelsior
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RE: Facebook Parenting for the Troubled Teen
Know your enemy and know yourself, find naught in fear for 100 battles. Know yourself but not your enemy, find level of loss and victory. Know thy enemy but not yourself, wallow in defeat every time.
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| 02-10-2012 03:54 PM |
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blurb
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RE: Facebook Parenting for the Troubled Teen
(02-10-2012 09:29 PM)BortimusPrime Wrote: I can't say I disagree with the sentiment but frankly I get the impression this is the kind of overly strict parent whose kids will go completely nuts once they're off the leash. I remember back when I was a kid it was the kids who were always grounded who were constantly getting into trouble.
+1
One of my former high school teachers said that this is why kids in America go crazy over alcohol versus, say, a German kid who's been drinking at a younger age. I remember him commenting on the strict Puritanical values in America versus that more laid-back healthier and responsible approach in Europe, and how it's the repressed kids that go crazy and berserk versus the kid who learned that alchol and sex are no big deal.
Alcohol? No big deal.
Sex? No big deal.
Just teach your kids to be mature and responsible.
Correct me if I am wrong, but he said that kids in Europe don't make a big deal about sex and alcohol as American kids do. Maybe not as much, but enough to note a difference between European and American kids. Anyone notice this?
Americans raise their kids by saying, "Just don't do it," when, in actuality, it has the opposite effect in making them want it more. You want what you can't have.
This is one of the reasons why British/American/Anglosphere women have the reputations as the world's sluttiest women, as opposed to, say, French, Spanish, Italian, or Greek. The repression of sex by the America's Puritanical heritage has a part in this.
Hello.
(This post was last modified: 02-10-2012 09:58 PM by blurb.)
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| 02-10-2012 09:56 PM |
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Timoteo
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RE: Facebook Parenting for the Troubled Teen
(02-10-2012 09:56 PM)blurb Wrote: (02-10-2012 09:29 PM)BortimusPrime Wrote: I can't say I disagree with the sentiment but frankly I get the impression this is the kind of overly strict parent whose kids will go completely nuts once they're off the leash. I remember back when I was a kid it was the kids who were always grounded who were constantly getting into trouble.
+1
One of my former high school teachers said that this is why kids in America go crazy over alcohol versus, say, a German kid who's been drinking at a younger age. I remember him commenting on the strict Puritanical values in America versus that more laid-back healthier and responsible approach in Europe, and how it's the repressed kids that go crazy and berserk versus the kid who learned that alchol and sex are no big deal.
Alcohol? No big deal.
Sex? No big deal.
Just teach your kids to be mature and responsible.
Correct me if I am wrong, but he said that kids in Europe don't make a big deal about sex and alcohol as American kids do. Maybe not as much, but enough to note a difference between European and American kids. Anyone notice this?
Americans raise their kids by saying, "Just don't do it," when, in actuality, it has the opposite effect in making them want it more. You want what you can't have.
This is one of the reasons why British/American/Anglosphere women have the reputations as the world's sluttiest women, as opposed to, say, French, Spanish, Italian, or Greek. The repression of sex by the America's Puritanical heritage has a part in this.
That's just it...he doesn't seem OVERLY strict. He gives his kid some responsibilities around the house, yet she also has all the toys and gadgets she wants. It's going to be strict NOW, because she fucked up. When you punish a kid, you have to take away the things they value. "Go to your room" isn't enough anymore, because they have a computer, tv, cellphone, music, videogames etc. in their room. You have to send them to their room, but remove all the toys.
You're right with regards to the openness with which Europeans treat sex and sexuality. It isn't treated like it's dirty or something that should be hidden, and the body isn't something to be ashamed of. Wine is had with meals, and I'm sure teens are free to have some. Parents here that allow their children to drink in their own homes are seen as poor parents.
"The best kind of pride is that which compels a man to do his best when no one is watching."
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| 02-10-2012 10:17 PM |
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blurb
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RE: Facebook Parenting for the Troubled Teen
(02-10-2012 10:17 PM)Timoteo Wrote: You're right with regards to the openness with which Europeans treat sex and sexuality. It isn't treated like it's dirty or something that should be hidden, and the body isn't something to be ashamed of. Wine is had with meals, and I'm sure teens are free to have some. Parents here that allow their children to drink in their own homes are seen as poor parents.
Ah, yes, now I remember. That's exactly what he said, that kids around 13, 14, 15, or whenever the parents feel appropriate were allowed to have half a glass of wine or something similar. Granted, not enough to be binge drinking or enough to get drunk and harm one's health, but enough to show their kids that alcohol is no big deal, that drinking alcohol doesn't make you anymore of an adult, and that adults aren't secretly conspiring so that kids can't have any fun (alcohol).
Hello.
(This post was last modified: 02-10-2012 10:33 PM by blurb.)
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| 02-10-2012 10:32 PM |
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Tuthmosis
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RE: Facebook Parenting for the Troubled Teen
I agree with this guy 1,000% in principle, but have several points. I know I'm going against the grain here, so I know I'm sure to get some push-back, but:
1. There's a reason his daughter has gotten this cunty in the first place. I have a nagging suspicion that he's putting the smack down on his kids like this, but not on his wife. I bet the wife is the enabler. Discipline starts at the top.
2. This daughter is going to be a slutty-ass whore, if she isn't already. This is the kind of girl that we are all looking for (SNL-wise): daddy issues, trying to prove a point, and "rebellious." This kind of massively public alienation only helps our case more.
3. It sounds like this guy might be a little too strict, frankly. I'm all about making your kids do shit around the house and putting the smack down when they fuck up, but this guy is grounding a girl for three whole months for writing some silly bullshit on the Internet, and then putting bullets through her computer on a second offense. Both of those seem like draconian-ass punishments. A red flag goes up when I see a guy flashing guns this much. They're all over his facebook and, of course, this video.
4. There's a old saying that I'll paraphrase (poorly I'm sure) that goes something like: the best way to hold sand is with an open hand, not a tight grip. When you grip too tight, it all just slips through your fingers. I'm afraid this guy is grabbing with the kung-fu grip. This girl will go off to college and fuck every dude in sight. Maybe she'll get pregnant young or just be the town bike. At the first opening she gets, she'll do drugs and drink like fish. All of this will be in defiance of this authority. She'll also suck mad dick if it means getting a replacement computer or an iPod.
5. This is a permanent rift in their relationship. This girl will never forgive her father for this (very) public humiliation. Sure, it's fun to watch from this vantage point and, as grown men, we know how meaningless a stupid Internet video is, but this daughter will fucking carry this shit with her for life. This guy wins the war, but at what expense? Pick your battles, man. I'm afraid this guy's pride is what he's mostly trying to defend. He doesn't want some teenagers on the Internet hearing bullshit said about him. He's a weak man, a bully--quite frankly--with guns.
Good in principle. Bad in practice, in my opinion. The best parenting I've ever seen was stern as fuck, but also forgiving. Kids are weak, you can own their-asses without stooping to this level.
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| 02-10-2012 10:46 PM |
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ElJefe
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RE: Facebook Parenting for the Troubled Teen
(02-10-2012 10:46 PM)Tuthmosis Wrote: I agree with this guy 1,000% in principle, but have several points. I know I'm going against the grain here, so I know I'm sure to get some push-back, but:
1. There's a reason his daughter has gotten this cunty in the first place. I have a nagging suspicion that he's putting the smack down on his kids like this, but not on his wife. I bet the wife is the enabler. Discipline starts at the top.
2. This daughter is going to be a slutty-ass whore, if she isn't already. This is the kind of girl that we are all looking for (SNL-wise): daddy issues, trying to prove a point, and "rebellious." This kind of massively public alienation only helps our case more.
3. It sounds like this guy might be a little too strict, frankly. I'm all about making your kids do shit around the house and putting the smack down when they fuck up, but this guy is grounding a girl for three whole months for writing some silly bullshit on the Internet, and then putting bullets through her computer on a second offense. Both of those seem like draconian-ass punishments. A red flag goes up when I see a guy flashing guns this much. They're all over his facebook and, of course, this video.
4. There's a old saying that I'll paraphrase (poorly I'm sure) that goes something like: the best way to hold sand is with an open hand, not a tight grip. When you grip too tight, it all just slips through your fingers. I'm afraid this guy is grabbing with the kung-fu grip. This girl will go off to college and fuck every dude in sight. Maybe she'll get pregnant young or just be the town bike. At the first opening she gets, she'll do drugs and drink like fish. All of this will be in defiance of this authority. She'll also suck mad dick if it means getting a replacement computer or an iPod.
5. This is a permanent rift in their relationship. This girl will never forgive her father for this (very) public humiliation. Sure, it's fun to watch from this vantage point and, as grown men, we know how meaningless a stupid Internet video is, but this daughter will fucking carry this shit with her for life. This guy wins the war, but at what expense? Pick your battles, man. I'm afraid this guy's pride is what he's mostly trying to defend. He doesn't want some teenagers on the Internet hearing bullshit said about him. He's a weak man, a bully--quite frankly--with guns.
Good in principle. Bad in practice, in my opinion. The best parenting I've ever seen was stern as fuck, but also forgiving. Kids are weak, you can own their-asses without stooping to this level.
+1
This 100%. Also notice how he's having a hard time holding his breath, he seems on edge. Very much on edge.
I'm sure he's a loving parent in many ways, and I am for disciplining brats. But you could hear the adrenaline pumping in his veins, he was that agitated.
The smart thing for him to do would've been to wait a day at least and let the chemicals in his brain subside. He's all emotion. I did not get the sense of a man in full control of himself. I actually see this often with a certain type of American parent.
Otherwise, I'm all on his side...
A year from now you'll wish you started today
(This post was last modified: 02-11-2012 02:14 PM by ElJefe.)
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| 02-11-2012 02:13 PM |
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Excelsior
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RE: Facebook Parenting for the Troubled Teen
(02-10-2012 10:46 PM)Tuthmosis Wrote: 1. There's a reason his daughter has gotten this cunty in the first place. I have a nagging suspicion that he's putting the smack down on his kids like this, but not on his wife. I bet the wife is the enabler. Discipline starts at the top.
He mentioned in the video that his wife supported the maneuver, and that one of the bullets was for her.
Quote:2. This daughter is going to be a slutty-ass whore, if she isn't already. This is the kind of girl that we are all looking for (SNL-wise): daddy issues, trying to prove a point, and "rebellious." This kind of massively public alienation only helps our case more.
No guarantee of this, but here's my take:
If you live in a society where you can't seriously discipline your child without risking this, then you have problems.
I was a pretty spoiled kid, but I have relatives who've dealt with very harsh discipline, roughly on this level in severity (and often much more physically painful).
There is absolutely no guarantee that it will create whores and miscreants. In fact, I think such an outcome is only even somewhat possible when said child is living in a society where they are surrounded by others extremely spoiled kids with zero discipline, and they feel "left out".
That's a bigger issue.
Quote:3. It sounds like this guy might be a little too strict, frankly. I'm all about making your kids do shit around the house and putting the smack down when they fuck up, but this guy is grounding a girl for three whole months for writing some silly bullshit on the Internet, and then putting bullets through her computer on a second offense. Both of those seem like draconian-ass punishments. A red flag goes up when I see a guy flashing guns this much. They're all over his facebook and, of course, this video.
I wouldn't call that silly bullshit. She basically just publicly humiliated her own family.
My relatives would flip in quite a similar manner (minus the gun, I guess-we don't own any).
Quote:4. There's a old saying that I'll paraphrase (poorly I'm sure) that goes something like: the best way to hold sand is with an open hand, not a tight grip. When you grip too tight, it all just slips through your fingers. I'm afraid this guy is grabbing with the kung-fu grip. This girl will go off to college and fuck every dude in sight. Maybe she'll get pregnant young or just be the town bike. At the first opening she gets, she'll do drugs and drink like fish. All of this will be in defiance of this authority. She'll also suck mad dick if it means getting a replacement computer or an iPod.
Again, strict discipline at home does not guarantee this outcome at all.
Quote:5. This is a permanent rift in their relationship. This girl will never forgive her father for this (very) public humiliation. Sure, it's fun to watch from this vantage point and, as grown men, we know how meaningless a stupid Internet video is, but this daughter will fucking carry this shit with her for life. This guy wins the war, but at what expense? Pick your battles, man. I'm afraid this guy's pride is what he's mostly trying to defend. He doesn't want some teenagers on the Internet hearing bullshit said about him. He's a weak man, a bully--quite frankly--with guns.
He also doesn't want other parents and other adults (who will get wind of whatever inflammatory shit she puts on her facebook) hearing bullshit said about him and his wife.
Quote:Good in principle. Bad in practice, in my opinion. The best parenting I've ever seen was stern as fuck, but also forgiving. Kids are weak, you can own their-asses without stooping to this level.
What would you have done?
Know your enemy and know yourself, find naught in fear for 100 battles. Know yourself but not your enemy, find level of loss and victory. Know thy enemy but not yourself, wallow in defeat every time.
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| 02-11-2012 04:38 PM |
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Excelsior
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RE: Facebook Parenting for the Troubled Teen
(02-11-2012 04:12 PM)BortimusPrime Wrote: You hit the nail on the head. He seems more fixated on defending his honor as a Southern gentleman, while transparently trying to claim the issue is about self-sufficiency. If he was really focused on teaching his daughter a lesson about taking him for granted, he wouldn't have bought her all the stuff he's destroying now.
I don't buy that. The best way to show that you canot be taken for granted is not to avoid giving at all-it is to give, but show that said giving can be taken away if certain conditions are not met.
Quote:Plus shooting the computer is just stupid. If he's such an IT genius as he claims, he could easily wipe the HD and sell the computer on eBay to compensate himself for the $130 he was ranting about having spent on her.
You're viewing this as a business transaction, which is missing the point. The goal is to send a very clear message, not to save money.
Your idea sounds nice, but it doesn't convey the message as clearly of effectively as this does. He could give a fuck about what the computer costs-its about her learning a lesson, and this is the most impactful way to make that happen.
Know your enemy and know yourself, find naught in fear for 100 battles. Know yourself but not your enemy, find level of loss and victory. Know thy enemy but not yourself, wallow in defeat every time.
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| 02-11-2012 04:42 PM |
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