BARBADOS TRIP REPORT MAY 2017
THE WAY TO BIM
Flights from Florida are very affordable. If you fly from Miami or Fort Lauderdale, you can get a flight for under 200 dollars. It's a four hour direct flight from either of those cities. You can fly from anywhere you want but you will have to changeover, probably in those cities. You can fly there via JetBlue or American Airlines to my immediate knowledge. Simply punch in your origin into Google and skim through the options. Spirit Airlines also flies there but I strongly suggest not using them. That airline is very unprofessional and I spoke to a white lizard who booked through Spirit who cancelled her flight and didn't mention anything about a refund or even help her with an alternative for her trip. I found the flight staff to be a bit curt in their customer service both going there and coming back. I think I actually ended up with the same flight crew sans one or two flight members. I didn't mind the curtness because at this point of the game, I can either match such behaviour by being more curt or by being extra jovial and witty.
AIRPORT AND CUSTOMS
Bajans are efficient. They will ensure you are not bringing any foolishness into the country and check through your stuff accordingly but at the same time, retain a respectable customer service about them. It was largely women who were manning these stations and they were robust, not fat but big boned with short crew cuts. I saw a tall Bajan lizard with thick legs and a decent sized bottom walk out of the airport store dressed in uniform. Her bottom wasn't too big, I found that to be the case with some of the black lizards in America (in the south) where they are tall and the bottom is so big, you need no less than 7 to hit the honey pot. If you got six, you will be limited to certain positions.
CURRENCY
The exchange rate is still 2 Bajan dollars to 1 USD which is the best exchange rate in the Caribbean. The next closest is the Eastern Caribbean dollar which holds its own at 2.7 to 1 USD from banding together with a number of the smaller Caribbean islands participate in it.
In this region, Jamaica and Trinidad aren't doing so good. From the last time I went to Jamaica it was 10 Jamaican to 1 USD and Trinidad was about 7 to 1 USD. Many of the smaller Caribbean countries use the Eastern Caribbean dollar which is equivalent to the Euro which helps solidify each other and help the smaller ones who don't have enough to offer individually to stand alone like some of the other islands.
You can exchange your money at the airport in Barbados which will give you the same rate as the banks. From this, you will get an exchange rate of 1 USD to 1.98 Bajan, losing 2 cents on every dollar. When you sell it back, they will buy it at 2.02 so altogether you will lose 4 cents on each dollar if you don't spend it all. Good news is, nearly everywhere takes USD at exactly 2 to 1 so you can just pay in that fashion. You can also find someone on the street willing to exchange 2 to 1. Not anyone though, you may have to check in case someone slips you funny money (counterfeit) which is a possibility anywhere regardless of how cool the people are as a whole.
FOOD
Bajan food is organic and void of preservatives. This is particularly a positive factor for those of us living in the West as even produce and meat promised to be organic is not the case. Bajans promote cou-cou and fly fish (flying fish) as their national dish and also have fast food spots known as Chefette and they also do KFC. I had the BBQ chicken in Chefette but never tried KFC. Chefette with a drink, macaroni pie (which Bajans love and Trinis too in my experience) with the BBQ chicken (a medium sized dark breast that I ordered) cost 30 Bajan which is 15 dollars exactly. Because the Bajan food is natural, even if you do eat junk food, it's made up of real food and your body will process it far more efficiently. When I went to the Massy mall on my first day there which is at Warrens, a location in Barbados in St Michaels., I got a meal with what appeared to be a very small piece of chicken compared to the monsters you get in America. I was almost about to protest but I remember that a real small piece of meat always trumps a large fake piece and I was right.
Fish and seafood in general is a big part of the Bajan cuisine. With the island surrounded by water thriving with sealife (as is customary with islands), it makes sense to make this a big part of the menu. I had Marlin fish while I was there which is a hardy type of fish with a texture akin to a medium cooked steak. It was filling. The Bajans call their carb meals starch which can consist rice or chow mein. The guy who picked me up from the airport told me that chowmein was part of the cuisine. I teased him gently claiming it was Chinese and not West Indian and he replied that Bajans cook it differently. I chuckled and did have some chow mein from the Massy food court a couple of hours later.
Due to the food, you will be able to go longer with less. I was averaging one meal a day and just top up with some snacks (bananas and British cookies plus island rum) and sustain myself. Most nights, I didn't finish clubbing until 3am in the morning and I wasn't as exhausted as I have been in other places for example certain cities in the U.S.
TRANSPEED
"Bai, I don't have no transpeed!"
Transpeed is what Bajans call transport. You have three options in being transported around the island. You can rent a car (the easiest place being directly from the airport when you land), get a taxi or jump on the local bus depending on your comfort level. The local bus costs 2 Bajan dollars which equals 1 USD. This is chump change. You have to jam up next to some locals depending on the type of bus you ride. I'm uncertain of the taxi price as I never took one but a 20-25 min journey would probably cost you about 20-25 US dollars (40-50 Bajan dollars).
If you do decide to drive, bear in minds that there are a lot of bends and curves to the island. Geographically, you don't cover a great distance but the curving through the hills and some rough off-roads is what consumes the time. Roundabouts are a part of the island road system which is reminiscent of the UK. Bajans drive on the left hand side of the road again which is a UK thing (remember that Barbados and all other English speaking Caribbean islands are former British colonies). Yield signs say 'Give way' and I don't believe you can turn left on a Red (remember you are driving on the left side of the road. Bajan drivers don't seem aggressive and will give you allowance being that you are a foreigner. Upon renting a car, you can get the L paper sign which goes in your windshield area (both front and back) so that drivers know that you are new and can give you a wider berth that they wouldn't necessarily afford a local driver. Don't be too intimidated about trying to figure your way around, GPS works very well there and you can use either Waze or Google Maps.
HOW MUCH TO RENT A CAR
The daily price for renting a car in Barbados from the airport is 74 Bajan dollars a day. This is 37 dollars a day. This is roughly what you would pay for an intermediate sized rental from Enterprise so it works out level. You can opt into getting insurance for the car or simply try your luck. Filling up the tank of the cars that they give you costs 42 US dollars. This will last you a long time as again, it's not a huge country where you would burn up gasoline driving up and down the place. The rental is for convenience so that you don't have to wait for the bus or the taxi and it's likely you would drive to the beach or some other dream spot, post up and just drink rum or let the Caribbean ocean waves wash over your body.
The car size is going to be a very moderate size. Roads can be very narrow in Barbados to the point where you feel the driver is going to hit you head on so getting a huge SUV or ATV would make zero sense and put you in an awkward situation. This means for you big guys (or lizards) and I'm talking about you 300 pounders, you may have issues with those cars. They are built for European sized people. If you have a squad of mampis with you, you lot better just jump on the bus or hire a taxi (many of the guys drive vans that can carry buffalo sized folk).
DIRECTIONS
Bajans give very detailed directions and this is due to the nature of the paths and roads on the island. Blame the British, lol. It is not carved into grids and blocks like in North America. In the States, you might say two blocks down and it's on the right. In BIM, you have to say something like, go down to the second light, cut 'tru' and then make a corner round the road. I have found this style to be common in all my ventures regarding English Caribbean, Spanish Caribbean and West Africa. I think this contributes to having a good memory as there isn't a particular formula to remember. this might be the case with all West Indians and indeed Africans and Latin Americans as well. Maybe that is an attribute to a good memory but a simple go to the top of the road and make a left is turned into a scenic description with lots of landmarks used as markers to ensure one is still en route for their desired destination. I often had to ask a few more people along the route how to get to the final destination as initially, the first set of directions were always too confusing.
TELECOMMUNICATIONS NETWORK
The internet is decent there but running on 3g max (although the phone displayed a 4G signal). I strongly suspect this if you are roaming (from a network outside of the West Indies) and would be much quicker if you were using a local sim and a local network (I saw Digicel network advertised with a picture of Usain Bolt in a sprint start stance). The roaming speeds weren't too bad overall but it will tax your phone battery prematurely and you will have to carry your charger with you.
HEAT
Barbados is very hot in the summer. I was there roughly around the end of May which is hot in most places around the world as we are coming into summer during that time. Obviously the tropics will be even hotter and every day I dripped with sweat. The average temperature was 35 degrees celsius which is about 100 degrees Fahrenheit, give or take a few degrees. Luckily I was heavily utilising the baking soda remedy for my armpits coupled with patchouli and certain people complimented me on my fragrance as patchouli is supposed to match your pheromones and emit a complimentary aroma.
One Bajan guy in a store that I went to in order to buy a gift as requested for the folk outside of BIM said that my patchouli fragrance was supposed to drive off evil spirits. I think he was just trying to sweeten me up so that I would buy his souvenirs at his trumped up prices. Covefe that!
I stayed on a hill in St Michael which is near the country capital Bridgetown. I was only 11 mins by car from the capital so I would take local transport so I could rub against the locals (figuratively) and catch wind of what they were saying. I went up that hill daily to frequent a local supermarket which had the best prices one could get for the island as a local. It was practically akin to climbing a mountain. When you couple that with the oppressive heat, I knew I would be getting in shape very quickly without even attending a single session at the gym.
FOOP MATERIAL
Let's get to the meat and potatoes! How are the lizards? Barbados is a black island. If you don't like black lizards, you may be limited for choice. There are whites on the island consisting of white Bajans and tourists but it isn't as mixed as, say, Trinidad in my experience just from walking around the capital. Rudebwoy was meh about the lizards and I thought he was just being dismissive but my heart leapt into my mouth in dismay initially when I saw the Bajan selection. Rudebwoy was right! I wasn't impressed by what I saw in the airport in America. I saw no faces and no bodies. I saw a nice round bottom on the plane but when she had turned around, her golden days were long behind or maybe had never happened. I don't care too much for a face as long as she doesn't look like a man and has a body, I will drill her. But I wasn't even getting that. I was seeing a lackluster slew of lizards overall although their attitudes were compensating for that. I went out with some friends on both the Friday night and the Saturday night. On Friday night, I went to Lawrence's gap which is a tourist haven. I was out with a local Bajan guy and we hollared at two lizards in some bar/restaurant. It looked onto some harbour and was quite picturesque both at day and night. I let my British accent fly at either lizards but it's not a magic bullet and you still need game. They both had okay faces and shapes and I gave them a 5.5. I would poke but I wasn't going to go through all and sundry to get them. We escorted them to a club, my friend is a local Bajan and I was following his lead. I told him previously while we were in the bar that the lizards seemed cold and indifferent but he was pushing on them continuously but not in a bothersome fashion (or so it seemed to me and from their reactions). It seems that Bajan males will wait the lizard out. Personally, I have little tolerance and I am happy to keep it moving. Inside the club I noticed that the style of dancing was for the guys to just dagger the lizards. It's like an aggressive backshot and I didn't see much variety from that dance style. But it's all good. Grab a lizard and dagger her. I grabbed a black lizard from Guyana who had moved to Barbados for a better lifestyle. I bent her over so that her hands were touching the ground and I daggered her to some Bajan soca with a slight sneer on my face. I was wearing a Jamaican string vest, some flip flops and some long shorts. You can feast on tourists as Barbados has many repeat visitors. I spoke to white lizards on the plane saying they had returned many times to Barbados, they found the customer service great and the people really cool. Naturally if you are black and you decide to go for white on Barbados, you will have at least a 50 percent chance as no white lizard repelled by black men would go to Barbados, it wouldn't make any sense. On my first couple of days, I had the lizards set at a 5 only solidified in 5 because of their chill behaviour. As days went along, I saw talent that pushed the ratings up and my final rating score was 6.9. My house keeper was a nice dark skinned Bajan with dreads and full buttocks. I tried to lure here by working on my datasheet while she changed my linen with my top off and just wearing a towel with my boxer shorts poking out underneath but she didn't go for the bait. She helped to raise the score. I also spoke to a caramel complected lizard with braids on the beach. She was there for some beach aerobics. She waited around as I pitched my spiel to her and I got a good vibe of how she was moving but I was pushed for time and I didn't push for a hard close. You can have a convo with the West Indian lizards, I've met lizards who are far fatter and uglier in North America who have not developed any people skills. Not complaining but it's good to know what's out there so you don't settle for rubbish.
CONCLUSION
Bajan lizards do seem to be a bit on the hefty side as a whole. I don't know if it's the food or the independence but when lizards start to make good money, they don't work as hard to procure a man since the man has no choice but to fcuk with them. Now, it's nowhere as endemic as North America, you can find plenty of thin Bajan lizards or shapely ones but I noticed more size than I did when I was in Trinidad or Jamaica for instance. Trinidad had some very sexy lizards due to the mix of different ethnicities and Jamaica is largely a black island (I only saw out of many comes black lol) with some sexy black reptiles. DR blows both islands out of the water, of course, in regards to looks, sensuality and ease of sex.
I rate the Bajan lizards the lowest out of the three but with their behaviour and high literacy, I bring them up quite high and might go as far as to say that they would fare the highest for LTR candidates. As a final rating, I give Bajan lizards 6.9.
The people are cool on a whole, polite and helpful and the island is very well set up and I would definitely go back. I'm glad I pulled the trigger on going there as I have vibed well with the lizards outside of the island.