Post: #1

The top 5 reasons that make women settle

http://www.christianarants.com/2009/04/t...o.html?m=1

The other day I got a message from a male reader saying...

“Hey Christiana. You seem to write a lot about women being too picky but aren’t the majority quick to settle with someone who isn’t good enough for them?”

And he’s right. However ‘settling’ is not the sole practice of the females, men settle too, crucially the difference is found in how men and women behave after they settle.

When a man settles he will justify his choice by claming it is a short run measure. For example Pac-Man’s ex-girlfriend was stupid*. Everyone knew she was stupid. She didn’t know she was but Pac-Man knew she was and he was ok with that. Because even though he isn’t the most valuable male on the market he still knows his market worth and her IQ was too low (even for him). Therefore he knew the day would come when he would get rid of her and (hopefully) upgrade.

* Anyone that is over the age of 13 yet believes that Africa is a state not a beautiful continent and enquires if my parents ‘speak African’ to me at home….is a stupid idiot.

On the other hand when a woman settles she will justify her choice by claiming
a) We just don’t understand ‘him’ and he’s a good person really
b) That he’s going to change

As a result when this woman’s mother, siblings and closest friends (justifiably) express their frustration and anger over her choice of partner she will probably dump them and not him.

I would love to be one of those women that has a blog where she attempts to empower the female populace. But this blog is for men, women and transgndered folk alike. Furthermore I am fully aware that when a woman is determined to settle nothing (that includes cheating, violence and mental abuse) will change her mind until she comes to the personal realisation that she deserves more.

So since I’m observing rather than trying to solve the problem, I thought I’d enlighten my male readers to the top 5 reasons that cause women to settle.

Top 5 reasons that cause women to settle

1) It’s a numbers game

As there are more women than men in the world inevitably we have a situation where there is an excessive demand for good men but a limited supply.

As such a woman who is attractive, educated, intelligent, employed actually depletes the number of men available to her. And it’s not because there aren’t enough men that embody these traits but it’s one of the cruel facts of life that the more successful a woman is the more bat shit she attracts. Don’t believe me? Two words. Halle Berry.

So it’s all in the numbers. Most of the good men have already been snapped up or have the awareness that they are rare commodities and are unwilling to be tied down.

Therefore if you ever attend a wedding where a beautiful 5”11 woman who works for a FTSE 100 company marries a 5”2 ‘entrepreneur’ with no steady income, a missing tooth and thinks PATENT WHITE LEATHER LOAFERS WITH ORANGE TASSELS are appropriate footwear for a wedding.......you’ll understand that it’s all down to a tragic numbers game


2) She likes the drama

Perfect/good/normal men are boring. And there’s nothing wrong with being boring. Boring is a good thing. I like the fact that my blood pressure is boringly normal, some things just don’t need to be exciting. However some women love excitement and drama. Therefore they’d rather settle and be in a toxic relationship than be in a functional (boring) partnership.


3) The Messiah Complex

Just as many men are attracted to crazy women, many women are attracted to damaged men. Whilst I have never met a man who has tried to rehabilitate a crazy woman, I have met countless women who engage in the Sisyphean task of trying to change a damaged man. Some say it’s because such women are naturally altruistic but I think it’s because they have Messiah complexes. Memo to the women who like to ‘save the day’- save yourself first.


4) Insecurity

I actually wasn’t going to include this factor because it’s so cliché. You know how it is, the overweight, overpaid, overstupid American talk show host says to an overweight, unemployed and equally stupid guest

‘Girl you need to love yourself can’t you see you’re beautiful? Stop being so insecure you can do better than him girl!’

Unfortunately insecure women are more prone to settling whereas insecure men become 50 Cent.

5) The (bitter) single friend/relative

Let me give you a social fact. In every single family and female clique there is a woman who is perpetually single and very bitter about it. If you don’t believe me then the chances are you are that woman or too closely related to that woman to recognise her plight.

Becoming ‘that’ single woman is every woman’s nightmare. And it’s not that women are afraid of being single….but they’re afraid of being labelled the bitter single one. Ergo even if he cheats, steals and has a weed habit that means he finishes all the food in the fridge she’ll stick around because ‘at least I’m not Chardonnay’.

Post: #2

lmao at #5 I have had several women confess to me that is their #1 fear.

Excellent post. I think it is very insightful.

Post: #3

Arghhh! This is why I (almost) never discuss evolutionarry psychology with women. I would just get too frustrated by their refusal to see the point.

No woman ever "settles". If settling is assumed to be marrying a man less desirable than the best man she could get, and this is the usual definition, it never happens. If she really could get a better man she would be marrying him, and not the man she is "settling" for. Women get confused because they, correctly, realise that they could sleep with, or have a casual relationship with, a better man. They just delude themselves that this better man would, of course, come around to their way of thinking and propose at some future point in time. But of course it never happens.

Women take this discrepency between the best man who will marry her, and the best man she can sleep with way too personally. Hence all the hand wringing about "settling". This gap is universal and is just as real for, I don't know, Ms Candice Swanepoel, as it is for Ms Plain Jane. No effort on a woman's part can eliminate it. Even if she somehow miraculously becomes much hotter and generally more attractive it's just that the stakes are now higher. She can get a better husband. She can get a better fuck buddy. But the discrepency between the two is there just like before. It is a function of being a pre-menopausal female, no action on herpart can eleiminate it.

In my opinion women who go on about "settling" are very bad news. Certainly no sane man should consider marrying any of them. It's a major red flag, indicating a high degree of delusion with respect to the sexual market place. If you really want to get married as a guy you need to look for someone who is delusional in the opposite direction. i.e. Who thinks that you ARE the best man in the whole wide world. Even if somewhat insincere, she'll be a much better deal than any of the "settlers".

Post: #4

I wish i could throw in some examples or personal experiences that could support this topic, however i can't mainly due to the fact that i live in a similar city as Washington D.C.

Not sure about statistics, and aside from "reasons" as yo why a woman would settle, there are way too many men than men for each age group in my city for example, creating a huge pool for men, varying is physical and financial status for women to pick from.

Unless the woman is super obese/ugly, then she MIGHT have to settle, and even if she would settle in a city like D.C for e.g, i'm sure the guy she will end with will be at least 4 points higher than her looks wise.

Post: #5