Post: #1

We all deal with flakes and generally consider it a sign that the girl is slipping away if not outright gone. But I'm curious — what's the consensus on flaking out on a prospect? I certainly wouldn't suggest it as a first-date strategy but if you've been out with a girl a couple times and you're not getting anywhere, setting up a date and then canceling the day-of (with a request to reschedule) might be a good way to show that you're slipping away from her. Also potentially good for inner game, as you demonstrate to yourself that you don't need her. Thoughts?

Post: #2

I've never really been in this situation but it seems like a smart calculated risk if you're into it and you feel like its slipping away.

Post: #3

Only flake if you got something else.
And
Always have a couple irons in the fire.

Only you know your game and your prospect, but industry rule is 3 dates, then she gets demoted in terms of your time and mental energy.

Now once you've bagged her, you've got to be inconsistent and unreliable to avoid an ltr. But it works the other way too. If you see a chick a lot, you get drawn into that dreamy honeymoon phase of a relationship. Before long your at Bed Bath and Beyond looking at crockpots.

Post: #4

Not a good idea.
You are just reinforcing a negative behavior. A girl will just get bitter if you pull the same stupid games she does. She'll be jealous if you don't let her games brush you back.

Post: #5

If you're not flaking on girls, you're not making enough moves.

It should be a result, not a primary strategy.

Your time is limited.

First, you've got the hotties you're gaming/number closed/good leads on.

Second, you've got the girls you've taken on dates/SNLd/ you leave desiring more.

Third, you've got your regulars who are begging to roll with you.

What's left?

There's only 5 days in the week. And I'm sure as hell not wasting prime time on date night with a chick. (Unless she's super fly model quality )

Post: #6

What are you doing instead of going out with her? Another date? Hitting up the clubs? Hanging out with your buddies? Work? Nothing? The answer matters. Your time has value. Make the most of it. Don't flake on a girl just to prove a point (there are other ways of doing this). Flake because you gain can something from the time you would have spent with her.

If you've doublebooked your night, then go out with number one and flake on number two. But if you would be using the time instead to watch Downtown Abbey or whatever, what's the point? Go out with the flakey girl, fuck her, then kick her aside and make her chase you. If you're truly trying to teach a lesson, that's the victory you're after, not the sting of being flaked on, but the deep burn of the pump and dump.

Post: #7

I'm inclined to agree with WestIndianArchie, rationalize_this, and Bacchus — if you're flaking to sit at home alone and pound the pud, you might as well go on the date. If you're flaking because you've got something better to do then it's authentic and meets both your goals — not wasting your time on something you've deemed to be less valuable than whatever other activity you had available and sending a signal that the girl needs to step up her game if she wants your time & attention. But I would say, if the rescheduled date rolls around and you still feel like you have a better use for your time then you should just cut that one loose.

Post: #8

A corollary to being busy enough that when a girl flakes on you it's more of a relief than a disappointment is that if you've got enough meaningful things going on in your life eventually one of them will conflict with a scheduled date and you'll flake.

Girls seem to have a 6th sense for this kind of stuff. If you're truly relieved a girl canceled on you, she's more likely to reschedule. Likewise if you flake for a legit reason (even if you never tell her why you flaked) she's going to be more intrigued. If you try and fake it though you'll come off as incongruous and girls can smell that shit from a mile away.

Post: #9

Here is the DarkTriad flakes strategy. Tenuous contact with someone in your social circle, but not established enough to make a reliable date: if you get flaked on you're going to burn yourself with something you're probably going to have another shot at anyway.

The solution - invite her to an event you know she's alreaddy going to. Then no show it. Get's that hamster moving, get's her attention, seperates you from the crowd, and paradoxically reduces your chances of being flaked on when you invite her out for real.