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Soo Had a First Date Last Night and Again No Bang... I was aggressive! Help Please
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Manystyles Offline
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Soo Had a First Date Last Night and Again No Bang... I was aggressive! Help Please
I'm getting very frustrated.

This girl was a total fucking knockout. I'm a pretty confident guy until i start doubting myself and this date is totally making me doubt myself. Every girl i've met or have been a date on that doesn't result in a date 2 has been in my opinion over an 8. I can show pics... again this is my own opinion. Each one I have gone for the kiss on the first date. Only one has resulted in a ltr that fizzed when she dumped me for her fiancee which i never knew about.

Let me start with the past 2 nights....

First night im at a bar with a few friends. My tells me in my right ear that this girl behind me tried to grab my butt. I turned around and tapped her and just went for the cheers with my glass. "whats your name..." off to a good start. Semi decent hipster chick with tats, i'd give her a 6 and if it wasn't for her quasi love handles i'd give her an 8. At 5'7" and huge tits it was manageable. She wasn't really my type but i was pushing for it. It was pretty easy since she made it known she liked me moreso than the next story. Within an hour we're making out and i walk her to her car. Already telling her we should spend more time together. Asking her if she cooks a good breakfast because i'll be hungry tomorrow. She is telling me she likes me but wants me to call her during the week. Guess what... im probably not going to call her.

Last night...

I met this girl off of match. I ended up picking her up at her place. She comes to the car opens and gives me a hug and kiss. She says "can i take a pic of your plates?".
"what for?", I quizzically respond?
"my roommate says im nuts for letting a stranger pick me up"
I tell her, "my plates are confidential, please dont".
Can't tell you who i work for on her but this gets her excited.
Anyways onto the date. We go get drinks at this lounge. She is on a detox and is not drinking alcohol... :/
We are getting to know each other and she is asking me all these questions. Then i get her to open up about herself and yadda yadda. We find out we have alot of things in common. She is touching me a lil bit but nothing to go crazy about. We talked a lot, way after we had the bill payed. I tell her we're going to go somewhere else to possibly play pool somewhere. That I would play her for a massage and if she wins a free personal training session. She's down and i go to use the bathroom. Before i go i notice she puts her lip gloss on and right after i offered gum. This always meant to me that a girl is getting prepared for a kiss.

Walking out she is talking her head off and im getting kind of annoyed so i grabbed her and looked at her for a bit and said come here, want to see something. Held a stare for a bit and just said, "nevermind."

She continues to ramble and we get to a corner and i tried to kiss her. She kinda kisses but says, "wait a lil bit." (I actually had a girl say this once and 30 minutes later she's giving me a blowjob"). She goes to grab my hand and handholds while we walk(awww how cute).

We get to my car and im on the passenger side. I grab her and said "come here, close..." again holding a gaze and grabbing the nape of her neck. I give her 3 slow warm kisses and i can tell she liked it and didn't back off. I end it. I open her door... "what a gentleman" :/

She asks so "what do you want to do?"
I mentioned the place with the pool table and she says, "yea but its probably packed right now, its a friday"
I said well "we could chill here for a bit more." (Now i could've said lets go back to your place or something but she was a lil stand offish already about the kissing). I tried kissing her again in the car and she is backing off.

I'm putting on some music and she mentions
"so did you like my taste of music?" (we showed each other our pandora playlists)
She rambles somehow gets into relationships and is telling me what she's looking for. Then somehow gets into religion, she says "sorry to be a buzzkill". Asking me if i believe in god.

I grab her for kissing and she is really backing off and im just like what's wrong? She says, "i just met you and i want to get to know you first." "Let's talk, all you want to do is make out"

I ask her, "outside when i kissed you, did you like it?"
"yes", she says... "so what's the problem?" i ask?
"i want to get to know you more"

She mentions about getting up early so i drive off and start playing frank ocean. She asks if i have this song by him, "lost..." I said, "yes, and i'll play it but you have to give me a real kiss."
She responds, "sorry i don't barter."
We get back to her place and she is about to give me a hug. I tell her i don't do hugs and we kissed. As she begins to leave i grab her again, "come back here" and try to kiss her again. She says "slow your roll homey." At this point i felt kind of awkward. Like this is the guy I always hear girls talking about. The guy who wont stop grabbing them and trying to tongue them down.

She gets out of the car and kind of just stands there looking at me and im looking at her with my hand up duecing. "thanks for a good night" she says

ok... can i recover? I do not want to apologize for being aggressive.
I also want to know what is it? Am i not good looking enough? Why do some girls throw themselves at me(night before) and some just don't? Are they out of my league(god forbid). The only girls that get my dick hard are the passing boner test 8's. All i can think about is how this chick is treating me like the beta guy that took her out and how she fucks the badboys at the end of the night.(I met her on match... does this automatically place me in the beta category?)

Again i'll send pics through pm
(This post was last modified: 01-12-2013 08:05 PM by Manystyles.)
01-12-2013 07:55 PM
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Matt3B Offline
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RE: So Had a First Date Last Night and Again No Bang... I was aggressive! Help Please
She wasn't drinking so her hamster was in full control. You needed to take her to a few different places in quick succession to get her all disorientated and thinking you're a fun guy. It would've shown you had leadership and were in control. Instead she's asking "what do you want to do?" but you should've been leading from the start.

Also, you weren't reading things right at all with the kissing. You sound like you've just discovered kissing a chick and want to do it as much as you can and it came across as kinda childish and needy to be honest mate. You need to do it at the right time. Sounds like at the end of the night when she was standing there waiting, she was waiting for you to take her to her door.

I would've written it off from the start to be honest because she wasn't drinking.

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01-12-2013 08:30 PM
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delicioustacos Offline
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RE: Soo Had a First Date Last Night and Again No Bang...I was aggressive! Help Please
(01-12-2013 07:55 PM)Manystyles Wrote:  She is on a detox and is not drinking alcohol... :/

This was a long post, but every answer you're seeking is in this one sentence.

Forget Rachel Getting Married-- girls who don't drink, don't fuck. The paranoia about your license plate and the serious discussion of religion were also warning signs, but the sobriety was the Bat Signal of not getting pussy. You never had a shot. Forget her and FTOW.

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01-12-2013 10:14 PM
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germanico Offline
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RE: Soo Had a First Date Last Night and No Bang
So, she is giving you instructions on how she wants to get played, and you didnt followed them?

Tss...

Quote: "wait a lil bit."

So, wait a little.

Quote:"what do you want to do?"

"That is a question you should never ask a man. If he doesnt gives you the answer I am thinking of, he is useless to you as a man. And if he does give you the answer I am thinking of, then he isnt being respectable. But hey, its early still, lets get to a chill place where we can talk. I was thinking about that place with the pool table."

This shows that, while you are a sexual man, you are not desperate nor looking for a quick bang.

Quote:"so did you like my taste of music?"

Dont look for her approval or validation. Rather give her YOUR approval. "Hey, I like most of your playlist. You lost me at X, but there are not a lot of girls that know Y. You definitely have an eclectic taste"

Quote:"Let's talk, all you want to do is make out"

Your goal shouldnt be to kiss her, but rather, to make her want you to kiss her. To make her wonder why you havnt made a move, to make her question her worth as a woman. To make her consider kissing you, to make her WANT you.

You could try what I do, I dont kiss them until I have them on my bed. That way the first kiss is also the first time we fuck. But that might be to much risk for you, so then again, keep doing what works for you.

You already had your kiss, so your goal shouldnt had to be to keep kissing, but to get her to relax. You already knew that she liked you and was willing to kiss you, so dont be too eager. Lay back and give her room to move, but no way to escape, like a cornered animal.

Quote:outside when i kissed you, did you like it?

Again, stop asking for her validation. You already knew she did liked kissing you, dont stroke your ego.

Quote:so what's the problem?" i ask?

Thats a rational question. You will never get a woman to bed by getting her to be rational. Get her to be emotional.

Quote:yes, and i'll play it but you have to give me a real kiss.

Weak. Sauce.

A song for a kiss? And for sex can she get a few vintage LPs and a turntable? An offer she cant refuse!

Quote: All i can think about is how this chick is treating me like the beta guy that took her out

Well, you DID acted like a beta guy, taking her out, looking for her validation and TRYING too hard to just get to kiss her. Can you blame her?

Dont try, do.
01-12-2013 10:49 PM
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Manystyles Offline
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RE: Soo Had a First Date Last Night and No Bang
(01-12-2013 10:49 PM)germanico Wrote:  So, she is giving you instructions on how she wants to get played, and you didnt followed them?

Tss...

Quote: "wait a lil bit."

So, wait a little.

Quote:"what do you want to do?"

"That is a question you should never ask a man. If he doesnt gives you the answer I am thinking of, he is useless to you as a man. And if he does give you the answer I am thinking of, then he isnt being respectable. But hey, its early still, lets get to a chill place where we can talk. I was thinking about that place with the pool table."

This shows that, while you are a sexual man, you are not desperate nor looking for a quick bang.

Quote:"so did you like my taste of music?"

Dont look for her approval or validation. Rather give her YOUR approval. "Hey, I like most of your playlist. You lost me at X, but there are not a lot of girls that know Y. You definitely have an eclectic taste"

Quote:"Let's talk, all you want to do is make out"

Your goal shouldnt be to kiss her, but rather, to make her want you to kiss her. To make her wonder why you havnt made a move, to make her question her worth as a woman. To make her consider kissing you, to make her WANT you.

You could try what I do, I dont kiss them until I have them on my bed. That way the first kiss is also the first time we fuck. But that might be to much risk for you, so then again, keep doing what works for you.

You already had your kiss, so your goal shouldnt had to be to keep kissing, but to get her to relax. You already knew that she liked you and was willing to kiss you, so dont be too eager. Lay back and give her room to move, but no way to escape, like a cornered animal.

Quote:outside when i kissed you, did you like it?

Again, stop asking for her validation. You already knew she did liked kissing you, dont stroke your ego.

Quote:so what's the problem?" i ask?

Thats a rational question. You will never get a woman to bed by getting her to be rational. Get her to be emotional.

Quote:yes, and i'll play it but you have to give me a real kiss.

Weak. Sauce.

A song for a kiss? And for sex can she get a few vintage LPs and a turntable? An offer she cant refuse!

Quote: All i can think about is how this chick is treating me like the beta guy that took her out

Well, you DID acted like a beta guy, taking her out, looking for her validation and TRYING too hard to just get to kiss her. Can you blame her?

Dont try, do.

So do i have to read BANG again? lol
I thought i escalated... How do i make them want to kiss me? Can i recover?
01-12-2013 10:57 PM
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Capitán Peligroso Offline
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RE: Soo Had a First Date Last Night and Again No Bang.. I was aggressive! Help Please
One of the most important aspects of game is knowing when to hunt and when to fish...when to make things happen and when to let them happen.

Two bulls are standing at the top of the hill looking at a bunch of cows in the meadow below. The young bull says "Dad, how about we run down the hill and fuck one of those cows down there?" The old bull responds: "son, why don't we walk down there and fuck all of them?"

Just a couple of things to think about here...

A pessimist thinks all women are bad. An optimist hopes that they are...
01-13-2013 02:12 AM
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Manystyles Offline
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RE: Soo Had a First Date Last Night and Again No Bang.. I was aggressive! Help Please
(01-13-2013 02:12 AM)Capitán Peligroso Wrote:  One of the most important aspects of game is knowing when to hunt and when to fish...when to make things happen and when to let them happen.

Two bulls are standing at the top of the hill looking at a bunch of cows in the meadow below. The young bull says "Dad, how about we run down the hill and fuck one of those cows down there?" The old bull responds: "son, why don't we walk down there and fuck all of them?"

Just a couple of things to think about here...

Ok i guess my problem is everytime i go on a date i try and push for the bang. I think thats fucking me up instead of just letting shit happen im trying to force it.
01-13-2013 03:16 AM
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XXL Offline
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Build anticipation
Germanico 100% right.

PAY ATTENTION TO THE GIRL. She [consciously or not] gives you signals that you need. Read her. In your case she wanted spend more time with you to get more comfortable. But you rushed too much giving her ultimatums etc along the way. Not good.

Build anticipation.
(This post was last modified: 01-13-2013 05:39 AM by XXL.)
01-13-2013 05:38 AM
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Stay in the moment
More and more often I'll be interacting with a girl and realize oh, she just told me how to get her into bed. I think most Game advice is great for helping guys get over self limiting core beliefs that are holding them back but as others have said, it's not one size fits all. Once you can clear your mind and stay in the present view interactions with girls as a puzzle. If she's DTF she'll give you all the pieces to solve her puzzle. You've just gotta figure out how to put them together.
(This post was last modified: 01-13-2013 03:24 PM by Ensam.)
01-13-2013 03:24 PM
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RE: Soo Had a First Date Last Night and Again No Bang... I was aggressive! Help
(01-12-2013 07:55 PM)Manystyles Wrote:  Why do some girls throw themselves at me(night before) and some just don't? Are they out of my league(god forbid).

this is a great case study with some great advice. i've been studying game for three years and i still make this mistake, going for the "one size fits all" approach.

just like every car drives differently, every girl drives differently. it's up to the man to confidently get in the car, fix the seat, shift the gears at the right time, adjust the mirrors so there are no blind spots, and drive smoothly.

girls have different hang ups, different moods, different situations. a real man knows when to put it on cruise control, and when to step on the gas.
01-13-2013 05:51 PM
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Manystyles Offline
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RE: Build anticipation
(01-13-2013 05:38 AM)XXL Wrote:  Germanico 100% right.

PAY ATTENTION TO THE GIRL. She [consciously or not] gives you signals that you need. Read her. In your case she wanted spend more time with you to get more comfortable. But you rushed too much giving her ultimatums etc along the way. Not good.

Build anticipation.

Ok but im against the clock here... She's in my car we both have work tomorrow. its around 11pm. Eventually she's going to say "well i have work tomorrow, gotta get home."
01-13-2013 07:29 PM
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bojangles Offline
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RE: Build anticipation
(01-13-2013 07:29 PM)Manystyles Wrote:  
(01-13-2013 05:38 AM)XXL Wrote:  Germanico 100% right.

PAY ATTENTION TO THE GIRL. She [consciously or not] gives you signals that you need. Read her. In your case she wanted spend more time with you to get more comfortable. But you rushed too much giving her ultimatums etc along the way. Not good.

Build anticipation.

Ok but im against the clock here... She's in my car we both have work tomorrow. its around 11pm. Eventually she's going to say "well i have work tomorrow, gotta get home."
I don't think you're against any clock, you make time, who cares if she has work tomorrow, you're making an excuse for her already. Step up it mate, germanico and MattC have hit the nail on the head.

Don't forget to check out my latest post on Return of Kings - 6 Things Indian Guys Need To Understand About Game

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01-14-2013 06:29 AM
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RE: Soo Had a First Date Last Night and Again No Bang...I was aggressive! Help Please
(01-12-2013 10:14 PM)delicioustacos Wrote:  
(01-12-2013 07:55 PM)Manystyles Wrote:  She is on a detox and is not drinking alcohol... :/

This was a long post, but every answer you're seeking is in this one sentence.

Forget Rachel Getting Married-- girls who don't drink, don't fuck. The paranoia about your license plate and the serious discussion of religion were also warning signs, but the sobriety was the Bat Signal of not getting pussy. You never had a shot. Forget her and FTOW.

Reminds me of my old friend Mike and I meeting up with a couple of girls when we were teenagers.

He said "We'll drink some beers, I'll mack Sally, you mack Sue." (The girls had already decided who the liked) .

"Sally doesn't drink"

"That's OK, I've got some weed"

"She doesn't do drugs either"

He ponders for a moment, then - "Wow, you're not getting laid tonite."
01-16-2013 07:45 PM
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RE: Soo Had a First Date Last Night and Again No Bang...
(01-12-2013 07:55 PM)Manystyles Wrote:  She says "can i take a pic of your plates?".
"what for?", I quizzically respond?
"my roommate says im nuts for letting a stranger pick me up"

This is a super weird start to a date.

This kind of stuff seems to only happen with these "internet dates".

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01-16-2013 07:58 PM
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RE: Soo Had a First Date Last Night and Again No Bang...
(01-16-2013 07:58 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  
(01-12-2013 07:55 PM)Manystyles Wrote:  She says "can i take a pic of your plates?".
"what for?", I quizzically respond?
"my roommate says im nuts for letting a stranger pick me up"

This is a super weird start to a date.

This kind of stuff seems to only happen with these "internet dates".

I think it tells you she's a lil more open minded then her cockblocking roommate.

I also suggested i pick her up which i've never done before but will now place in my arsenal of pick up.
01-17-2013 02:20 AM
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RE: Soo Had a First Date Last Night and Again No Bang...
(01-17-2013 02:20 AM)Manystyles Wrote:  
(01-16-2013 07:58 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  
(01-12-2013 07:55 PM)Manystyles Wrote:  She says "can i take a pic of your plates?".
"what for?", I quizzically respond?
"my roommate says im nuts for letting a stranger pick me up"

This is a super weird start to a date.

This kind of stuff seems to only happen with these "internet dates".

I think it tells you she's a lil more open minded then her cockblocking roommate.

I also suggested i pick her up which i've never done before but will now place in my arsenal of pick up.

Her roommate wanted her to have the pictures of your plates? Guess again.

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01-17-2013 10:38 PM
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RE: Soo Had a First Date Last Night and Again No Bang... I was aggressive!
(01-12-2013 07:55 PM)Manystyles Wrote:  I'm getting very frustrated.

This girl was a total fucking knockout. I'm a pretty confident guy until i start doubting myself and this date is totally making me doubt myself. Every girl i've met or have been a date on that doesn't result in a date 2 has been in my opinion over an 8. I can show pics... again this is my own opinion. Each one I have gone for the kiss on the first date. Only one has resulted in a ltr that fizzed when she dumped me for her fiancee which i never knew about.

Read this post from Tuthmosis. I followed once with a first date with a german girl and get the bang even when at the beginning of the date she was posing all the time with crossing arms avoiding any physical contact

/thread-8681.html
02-15-2013 06:43 PM
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Re:
I pulled a girl online last night and was fucking her within hours of us exchanging messages. She didn't drink. A sober chick may be more difficult but is by no means impossible.

Even Roosh just posted a thread about fucking a girl who wasn't drink and getting denied by the girl who was.
02-16-2013 01:15 AM
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RE:
(02-16-2013 01:15 AM)Enigma Wrote:  I pulled a girl online last night and was fucking her within hours of us exchanging messages. She didn't drink. A sober chick may be more difficult but is by no means impossible.

Even Roosh just posted a thread about fucking a girl who wasn't drink and getting denied by the girl who was.

Read my last post in the noob section. Fucked a chick friday in LA. We ate and didn't drink. We fucked sober.
02-19-2013 01:38 AM
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Age too close?
It has been observed by some in this forum that women are more likely to have quick sex with someone outside their age range but hold out with someone closer to their age. If the girls you are taking out are close to your age perhaps they are trying to be your girlfriend and holding out on sex because of that?

Perhaps go for a 10 year age difference for future dates and see what happens. Obviously 10 years older if you are a young guy and 10 years younger if you are an old guy.
02-22-2013 05:06 PM
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RE: Soo Had a First Date Last Night
I request pics via PM.
02-26-2013 10:43 AM
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RE:
I think Germanico nalied it Thumb up

Quote:I ask her, "outside when i kissed you, did you like it?"
"yes", she says... "so what's the problem?" i ask?
"i want to get to know you more"

This tells you the whole story right here. You didn't make enough of an emotional connection with her.
I'd say learn to tell some jokes and funny interesting stories to overcome that. You gotta make them laugh.

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02-26-2013 11:35 AM
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RE: Soo Had a First Date Last Night and Again No Bang... I was aggressive! Help Please
The plates thing is super weird. She could have been much much more subtle about it, must have felt like you had Feds watching.

Since it seems that she's a conservative girl when sober, you need to get her drunk to open her personality up or leave a trusting image in her mind. The equation of Girl + Alcohol= Bang still works here, the difficult part is getting her to drink lol. If you can get her to drink one, she'll probably drink more.

I also noticed that you came off kinda pushy with all the kissing. The music for kiss trade off doesn't seem like a good idea.
11-17-2013 04:15 PM
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RE: Soo Had a First Date Last Night and Again No Bang... I was aggressive! Help Please
Agree with Enigma. Met a chick who didn't touch alcohol, but I just led her to my place and then banged sober. Twice.

On the other hand, have had at least three Euro chicks well drunk at my place (all of them have high tolerance though), and not even a kiss. Too fast with one, too slow with other, and don't even know what went wrong with the last one!

My pace was similar, but I probably misjudged girls' desired pace of seduction... may be.

Edit: typo to/too etc.
(This post was last modified: 11-18-2013 11:26 AM by bike0369.)
11-18-2013 11:22 AM
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