Post: #1

Tonight I went to see a friend's band play at a local club. I was flirting with a couple girls for a bit, saying hello to some friends, then just chilled at a table watchin the band & sipping my drink as the place slowly filled up.

A few minutes into me watching the band a girl who had been closer to the front and the crowds comes to my table and asks, "do you mind if I hang out here for a bit." We talk and she's only 18 (I'm late 20s), she came there by herself, she's maybe 15lbs too heavy, and is just a really sweet girl, somewhat shy, but very nice. I teased her, gossiped about some of the patrons, brought in some physicality and rapport and after maybe 25-30 minutes I looked at her and could tell she was waiting for me to kiss her.

I couldn't do it. She was attractive enough for a ONS, but I could just tell she didn't have many friends and wasnt too popular, yet she was such a nice, sweet girl and I felt really sorry for her. She told me how she she just saw that the band was playing on facebook and decided to go, when I asked why she didn't ask any of her friends, she just sorta looked away quick and shrugged. At the same time I was impressed with the confidence that she actually opened me with: "Do you mind if I stand here for a bit, it's a little crowded up there." I actually felt like just hugging her like a father would.

After about 30 minutes, our convo died down and we watched the band for a bit. I became really depressed and made an excuse to leave my comfortable seat and table, gave her a hug and said goodbye.

Is this a sign of maturity, weakness, or is it just plain fucked up?

Post: #2

Someone is going to take her home, it might as well be you.

Post: #3

So you fell sorry for a stranger you know less than an hour? That's betalike, not mature.

Post: #4

(02-11-2013 01:36 AM)mental Wrote:  So you fell sorry for a stranger you know less than an hour? That's betalike, not mature.

I don't see how being empathetic is beta. We've all met that type of girl before. A little awkward, short on friends, not the prettiest.

Post: #5

Pumping and dumping girls who seem like they're actually sweet, humble, perhaps even innocent, is a line I don't cross personally.

"It is his restraint that is honorable to a person, not their liberty." - John Ruskin

Relevant:
http://www.rooshv.com/the-morality-of-game

Post: #6

I can see how you would have the tendency to feel a bit sorry for her given her situation but I still think you should have gamed her as usual and gone for the close. Women, especially at that age are looking for life experiences more than anything.

If done correctly, she would have a story of (translated to hamster speak):
"this amazing older guy that I 'randomly' met while watching a band who swept me off my feet and we shared a magical night of passion. It was only for one night and we never saw each other again, but I'll never forget it. He made me feel desired and sexy."

Women's magazines are littered with these nonsensical stories. It's up to us to not deny them these experiences!

Post: #7

What RCron said has some merit. You might have wanted to at least number close. Walking away without even that might have confirmed feelings she had of not being desirable.

If you bump into her at some point in the future, beware.

I did the same thing you did in my youth -- walked away from women I thought were too fragile or sensitive for me to go near. Years later, all of these women were totally nasty to me. One even refused a FB request. Conversely, the women who actively sought me out on Facebook were the exes who I cheated on and the pump and dumps (some of whom I was completely insensitive to).

I finally started to understand that women have an entirely different way of seeing right and wrong and good and bad. As much as they complain about men putting the moves on them, in real life they reward these men and reject the ones who don't. Keep this in mind next time.

Post: #8

(02-11-2013 12:45 AM)guerrilla Wrote:  a girl who had been closer to the front and the crowds comes to my table and asks, "do you mind if I hang out here for a bit."

I teased her, gossiped about some of the patrons, brought in some physicality and rapport and after maybe 25-30 minutes I looked at her and could tell she was waiting for me to kiss her.

Is this a sign of maturity, weakness, or is it just plain fucked up?

I think this is fucked up, first of all why did you teased her if you weren't sure you wanted to fuck her?
Dont you hate it when girls lead you on just so she can feel good about herself? I do, thats why i reject a girl completely if im not too sure about her, feels bad for both in the end.

She came on to you cause she felt attracted to you, why would you feel bad about fucking her, sounds like that was exactly what she wanted.
Maybe you still think most girls dont like casual sex?

Also dont run game just for the sake of practicing it or cause you are just bored, you'll get a ton of girls hating on you afterwards. I should know

Post: #9

(02-11-2013 01:47 AM)Mujeriego Wrote:  

(02-11-2013 01:36 AM)mental Wrote:  So you fell sorry for a stranger you know less than an hour? That's betalike, not mature.

I don't see how being empathetic is beta. We've all met that type of girl before. A little awkward, short on friends, not the prettiest.

I agree, if they're your friends. But not if it's a stranger. Like Days said, they can be pretty deceiving, and you can see in OP's post that she was gaming him.

Post: #10

I can't see why you call this girl shy if she did actually open you. If she gave a shy vibe later it was probably to compensate for her opening you.

Post: #11

(02-11-2013 12:45 AM)guerrilla Wrote:  Is this a sign of maturity, weakness, or is it just plain fucked up?

Lemme ask you this,

You said she was chubby but fairly attractive.

What if you found her smoking hot, instead of just kinda cute?

How would you have handled it?
Would her age come into play?
Would her lack of friends come into play?
Would you have seen her as desperate for any male attention?

WIA

Post: #12

Your situation happened to me when a "girl" who turned out to be a tranny (very convincing one) approached me. I didn't know that until my friend came over and told me discretly. Since then i thank God every day for giving me the "something isn't right" radar.

Post: #13

I've had a similar situation on two dates recently. Both set up online with girls whom I figured may or may not do it for me in person. In both instances, after meeting them my conclusion was — not the prettiest girl in the world but I could get down if she wasn't so shy & insecure and (claiming to be) looking for something serious. And in both instances, I didn't bother to escalate or ramp up sexual tension like I do on a date where I'm interested in the girl. I did kiss-close one but I didn't even bother with the other and frankly it crushed her. I don't feel bad about hurting her feelings nor do I feel bad about not jumping the bones of some needy lizard I'm not attracted to — I did a cost/benefit analysis and I trust my computational prowess on that.

In your situation, OP, I would agree with what has been said — if you weren't feeling it but you wanted to toss this girl a bone and help her out, maybe going for a number close would have been nice. After all, you don't have to do anything with the number and you don't have to give her yours. However this does lead to her wondering why you're not calling her which is bad for her self-esteem. So I think if you really wanted to give her something to think about, you should have kissed her, then put your hand on her cheek, looked into her eyes and said, "You're a beautiful girl but you're too young for me." Then walk away.

Post: #14

Title: "Even When I Was Alpha, I Was Beta"

This happened to me but was with a sweet girl and a trampy girl. Managed to ditch trampy girl (would later get her notch anyway) and get sweet girl to my place.
But out of guilt/age difference/maturity/betaness, I just let her pass out.

The irony? Trampy girl later became a domesticated mom type.
Sweet girl went on to do...

Post: #15

She opened you. That says alot. I would have at least number closed, but probably just gone for the bang. Give her a great night and great memories.

Playing the devils advocate here but...no one has pointed out that perhaps this chick was mental. I mean she went out alone off a Facebook invite. She could have been 'off' a little, fucked you that night and then filed rape charges. It sounds extreme but if you felt off about it so be it. Take care of yourself first.

Post: #16

Never EVER second guess your decisions about who to fuck, and who not to fuck.

Every woman you fuck, you never REALLY know. I have had women come to my house who I had never met in person before that. The vibe felt right.

I have met women in hotels, who I would NEVER let them even know where I live.

I have made out with women who I fucked, and those who I haven't.

And I have failed to make the moves on women who seemed primed and ready.

There is no right answer. Some things are great, some things don't work out...and occasionally you get the wild ones (like when I was in college, this women I fucked, just showed up at my door one day, and I told her to get out).

But YOU...and me...we are grounded. We are sensible. The women? They can be great, psychotic, or anywhere in between. You just don't know.

Just keep on living.

Post: #17

You found her attractive but had a reason not to move things forward. She wanted attention, and you gave it to her. If she was wanting more but you were reluctant, you could have told her the reasons in some way, giving you an out while creating a bit of tension. This might have left it open for the future in case you saw things different later on and assuming you kept a contact.

Post: #18

You're overthinking.

Post: #19

If you felt sorry for her being there by herself and not having many friends, why didnt you friended her? Introduce her to your group, get her to engage your circle, etc?

Post: #20

(02-11-2013 02:57 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

(02-11-2013 12:45 AM)guerrilla Wrote:  Is this a sign of maturity, weakness, or is it just plain fucked up?

Lemme ask you this,

You said she was chubby but fairly attractive.

What if you found her smoking hot, instead of just kinda cute?

How would you have handled it?
Would her age come into play?
Would her lack of friends come into play?
Would you have seen her as desperate for any male attention?

WIA

This it the right answer. If you found her more attractive you wouldn't have felt sorry for her.

Post: #21

I suppose this is what girls feel like when they get hit on by a geeky beta whom they consider beneath their level.