Post: #1

Quick backstory. Met this girl a week ago, on a Friday night. She was very receptive, and rather aggressive, it all clicked because she was very attracted. I managed to pull her out of the club and fuck her in my car. Brought her back to meet her friends, and she took my number, told her she could text me if she wanted to.

She texted me, and she pretty much set up a booty call on the Sunday night. It was very clear, I met up with her at her home and we fucked. This time we were both sober and it was much better.

I didn't really text her throughout the week, she started conversation a couple times and asked me what I was up to when the weekend came around, but I was just very brief on responses. Today, I met up with her on pretext of 'adventure.' She said yes but made it clear I wasn't going to get lucky tonight. I said ok, unreactive.

Took her on mini adventure after hours, some trail with a waterfall. I had been there before with someone else in the past, and I really liked the place. We make out, get her back to car, shirts off, but she didn't let me proceed. Tells me we aren't having sex. I was unreactive, took a step back, tried again, and then backed off. I didn't care that much, as I was so intrigued by the situation.

We talked, and I told her I wasn't ever going to see her again, in a normal tone (not as a consequence of no sex). I said that implying that we want different things. She understood. I got the hint that she feels she wants to get to know someone better before just jumping in to casual sex all the time. I asked her about the past weekend, and I figured out she had been through a breakup from a 3 year relationship a month prior, so I was her rebound.

She's 19 and in between high school and college. Hasn't had much experience with guys, I'm assuming because of the 3 year relationship and how she just recently started going out. It is no doubt that within a short amount of time that will all change.


I just want to learn from this. I didn't let myself attach to her as I have with other girls in the past. I couldn't care less that I won't see her again.

I feel this could be either due to bad timing, just the uniqueness of the girl, or something I did wrong. Either way I want to learn from this. Is this normal to occur with a girl as I have described? If there is one thing I am disappointed by it is that I won't have her as a fuck buddy, I was trying to make her my first.

She was clear with me that she liked having me as a change, she told me things I did to her she hasn't had guys do with her in the past she really liked.


Furthermore, its a NEXT, but I am just wondering what you guys think about this. As I am relatively new, and this if the first time I have come across this.

Post: #2

(03-04-2013 01:49 AM)Nascimento Wrote:  Quick backstory. Met this girl a week ago, on a Friday night. She was very receptive, and rather aggressive, it all clicked because she was very attracted. I managed to pull her out of the club and fuck her in my car. Brought her back to meet her friends, and she took my number, told her she could text me if she wanted to.


Today, I met up with her on pretext of 'adventure.' She said yes but made it clear I wasn't going to get lucky tonight. I said ok, unreactive.

We talked, and I told her I wasn't ever going to see her again, in a normal tone (not as a consequence of no sex). I said that implying that we want different things. She understood. I got the hint that she feels she wants to get to know someone better before just jumping in to casual sex all the time. I asked her about the past weekend, and I figured out she had been through a breakup from a 3 year relationship a month prior, so I was her rebound.

If there is one thing I am disappointed by it is that I won't have her as a fuck buddy, I was trying to make her my first.

bolded is what stood out to me.

You want a fuck buddy, but you took her on an 'adventure' which is more relationshipy in nature. If you want a fuck buddy frame it as such, invite her over have a few drinks talk for a bit bang and watch a tv show or something. You also gave her your number which is kind of odd and you met her friends right out of the gate again she probably got the feeling that you were trying to win her over instead of just bang her.

When she said we're not having sex and you said 'ok' then you said you didn't want to see her again based on 'wanting different things' again showing you wanted a relationship. One thing you could have done is act unphased and blow her off for a week or two. Show her through your actions she isn't too important to you. Then text her one day drink a bottle of wine or grab some timmies and proceed as normal.

But yeah seems to me she got the impression you wanted her for a relationship. She'd just gotten out of a long one so she'll probably want to have her fun and fuck a few more guys before she realizes she misses being in a relationship.

Post: #3

You pumped and dumped yourself. Your post says nothing of her wanting a boyfriend other than the fact she denied you sex. Girls are emotional, you have to play it cool and not get tied up in it and showing your hand (telling her you want different things).

Could of strung it out if you wanted. There were certainly a few more hook ups in there before the big question of what are we comes up? And even when said you can say, I am taking this one day at a time. Then drop her.

Either way, your feelings and hers have been spared, so that is a plus.

"You want a fuck buddy, but you took her on an 'adventure' which is more relationshipy in nature. If you want a fuck buddy frame it as such, invite her over have a few drinks talk for a bit bang and watch a tv show or something. You also gave her your number which is kind of odd and you met her friends right out of the gate again she probably got the feeling that you were trying to win her over instead of just bang her."

^This

Post: #4

Guys can't can't get pumped and dumped unless they are gay.

Getting pumped implies that you were fucked.

Did a girl peg you?

Post: #5

(03-04-2013 02:02 AM)soup Wrote:  Guys can't can't get pumped and dumped unless they are gay.

Getting pumped implies that you were fucked.

Did a girl peg you?

You should really try it some time.

Post: #6

Dude, what the hell?

She didn't pump and dump you.

You told her you didn't want to see her anymore.

Maybe she didn't want to have sex, because of her period, shaving rash or whatever.

"We were never going to see each other again."

So dramatic, you didn't even know each other well.

"Implying we wanted different things."

You initiated The Conversation. "What are we?"

If you want her as a fuckbuddy, don't talk about defining your relationship.

Let it be casual.

Post: #7

Quit being so emotional.

Post: #8

Quote: You want a fuck buddy, but you took her on an 'adventure' which is more relationshipy in nature. If you want a fuck buddy frame it as such, invite her over have a few drinks talk for a bit bang and watch a tv show or something. You also gave her your number which is kind of odd and you met her friends right out of the gate again she probably got the feeling that you were trying to win her over instead of just bang her.

When she said we're not having sex and you said 'ok' then you said you didn't want to see her again based on 'wanting different things' again showing you wanted a relationship. One thing you could have done is act unphased and blow her off for a week or two. Show her through your actions she isn't too important to you. Then text her one day drink a bottle of wine or grab some timmies and proceed as normal.

But yeah seems to me she got the impression you wanted her for a relationship. She'd just gotten out of a long one so she'll probably want to have her fun and fuck a few more guys before she realizes she misses being in a relationship.

Interesting. Yeah I didn't want to send out a relationship vibe, but the fact I took her out was just me trying to not make it all about sex. I made it clear through my actions I was obviously into her sexually, but maybe I just had to avoid all that if I were looking for a fuck buddy. After I told her about being able to see her, she did reply with 'Ok, but if this is your booty call you're not getting lucky tonight..' Which I didn't take seriously, but maybe it had some meaning.

Either way, I understand where you are coming from and will learn from it. A big mistake I made was definitely saying I wasn't going to see her again.

Quote: Quit being so emotional.

I'm not exactly reacting to the situation, although it surprises me a little. Probably because I haven't been in the situation before. Know I know better and can deal with it better next time.

At the end of it all though, it's exactly like Fit said,

Quote: Either way, your feelings and hers have been spared, so that is a plus.

And I feel she came out better than she was before. I wasn't fake to her and I felt I was genuine, but I still had a spine around her. This hasn't affected me emotionally at all, and I am trying to look at this as a positive experience, one that I could really learn from, so I am adapted to this situation in the future.