Post: #1

So last night I'm in a small "dance club" (really a large neighborhood bar with a dance floor set up toward the back).

Anyway, place is packed, and I'm having a good interaction near the bar area with a tall, thin introspective-type brunette with a pretty face. She's one of those taller girls with bad posture making herself shorter. I'm touching her quite a bit at convenient places in the conversation. I gave her a "posture lesson" using both hands on her shoulders to do this.

Then a guy from her work comes over- slim guy with a beta face wearing a t-shirt that has the logo of some show on NPR (forgot the name). I had my hand on her lower back---when all of a sudden he reaches over and moves my hand away jealously

I never encountered this kind of effrontery before so I started to get in my head about what to do. Roosh's line flashed through my head, "if she doens't like it she can leave" but I didn't think it would help.

Not knowing what to do I just wound up sort of staring the guy down and I could sense his anger, jealousy. I made some attempts to befriend him in a patronizing way to try to betaize him, but couldn't really pull that off. I said, "introduce me to your friend", then I messed up his name repeating it back- "you're Corey?" "No, my name's CODY".

At the end, I had her lean into me, and I said in her ear, "I think he really likes you" and she got a very sheephish look and her posture got more awkward. This was in all view of him and he couldn't hear what I had said.

I was flirting/touching a lot of girls that night, and (unless it's my imagination) later on I think I caught her glancing over checking me out flirting with another girl.

Any ideas how to handle something like that in the future?

Thanks for reading.

Post: #2

(05-25-2013 06:04 PM)la passione Wrote:  Any ideas how to handle something like that in the future?

Thanks for reading.

Post: #3

@la passione Hey man, that's pretty bruttal white-knighting I gotta admit. Question: did she see him do that (take your hand away)?

If she did see it, I would kind of make a "big deal" about it, jokingly, by saying to him "What do you think you're doing buddy? I am keeping her back straight as she needs proper lower-back support." or something along those lines. Joking. Then put your hand right back where it was and move her away from him so that he cannot do that easily again without having to move himself.

If she didn't notice anything, I would just put my hand right back where it was without saying anything. Pretend nothing happened. Dare him to do it again so to speak. Move her away from him. If he starts anything physically then it's a different issue. Ask her later on if her co-worker is a crazy jelous creep. haha

Post: #4

(05-25-2013 06:53 PM)Gemini Wrote:  If she didn't notice anything, I would just put my hand right back where it was without saying anything. Pretend nothing happened. Dare him to do it again so to speak. Move her away from him. If he starts anything physically then it's a different issue. Ask her later on if her co-worker is a crazy jelous creep. haha

I was tempted to do this, but I wasn't sure how to go about it without escalating into a pissing match between me and him with her in the middle of it, the last thing I wanted. But I'll keep what you said in mind, thanks.

Post: #5

I would probably have laughed out loud and said something like "did that just actually happen?"

My hand would then be right back where it should be.

Post: #6

(05-25-2013 06:41 PM)LooTa Wrote:  

(05-25-2013 06:04 PM)la passione Wrote:  Any ideas how to handle something like that in the future?

Thanks for reading.

HOLY SHIT THATS FUNNY!!!!

Post: #7

You don't have to Try to Act like Alpha.
'oh this guy disrespected me. I should do something to show im a man in front of her'

I would just give awkward face and act like nothing happened. She will appreciate such behavior.
If she likes you, she will even apologize for her friend's rude behavior.
you can also throw something like 'he seems like a very nice guy. you guys will make a cute couple' etc. (sarcastic compliments about him)

Post: #8

Prevention
- bulk up
- look more menacing from jump
- more swagger, and more ability to back it up

Solution
- put your hand back, wink @ him
- verbally tool him, suggest that he's gay
- get her to tool him for you

Glaring - doesn't work, he was probably glaring at you before he got bold.

WIA

Post: #9

"No touching, just looking", or "Dude, I'm not into that shit, the gay club's just around the block.".

Post: #10

I'd immediately tell HER loud enough for him to hear "you're boyfriend here is very possessive". Framing him as possessive labels him in bad way like a full on insecure lame chump especially when he's no right to be that way.

so when she denies he's BF then..
- He feels completely deflated by girl denying he's her BF
- I respond. If I want to be nice then I sarcastically say "oh ok" and when nobody sees [behind her back for example] I turn to the guy and do the flick gesture [hand in a semi-fist then opening and closing it a couple times as if telling someone to fuck off]. If I feel like being a dick then I embarrass him publicly giving him the long look of doom with straight face and say "oops" with tone of voice like saying "don't fuck with me".
- I continue doing my thing

Thing is, I like to be clear with everybody aka hold my frame at all times. When you let someone cross your personal boundary without reacting then from this moment that's the default. So when he removes your hand and you don't do shit then he now knows he's got green light to treat you like that at all times. Same with girls. Once you let her do some unacceptable shit to you it's really hard to recover from that later. Know your personal boundaries and execute them like a motherfucker.

I'd much prefer to tell him straight away "don't fucking touch me!" and make a little scene than sitting quietly.

Post: #11

That gif needs to be added to the forum.

Post: #12

That's quite funny, actually. He's not her boyfriend and he's protecting her.

I'd go with XXL's first line "your boyfriend here is very possessive". I'm not an aggressive type and couldn't get away with the latter suggestion but AMOGing this dude is definitely the way to go. I also like the suggestion about the gay bar.

In all, you need to get the girl on your side and the best way to do that is to make her feel like she's being imprisoned/looked over by someone she isn't even with.

Post: #13

If I was there with you I would've kicked his ass for you.

If it was happening TO me, I'd have taken XXL's approach.

Post: #14

I really go out of my way to avoid confrontations in bars

But when somebody puts a hand on me aggressively they have crossed the line and they will get a physical response

Post: #15

(05-26-2013 05:47 AM)XXL Wrote:  I'd immediately tell HER loud enough for him to hear "you're boyfriend here is very possessive". Framing him as possessive labels him in bad way like a full on insecure lame chump especially when he's no right to be that way.

so when she denies he's BF then..
- He feels completely deflated by girl denying he's her BF
- I respond. If I want to be nice then I sarcastically say "oh ok" and when nobody sees [behind her back for example] I turn to the guy and do the flick gesture [hand in a semi-fist then opening and closing it a couple times as if telling someone to fuck off]. If I feel like being a dick then I embarrass him publicly giving him the long look of doom with straight face and say "oops" with tone of voice like saying "don't fuck with me".
- I continue doing my thing

Thing is, I like to be clear with everybody aka hold my frame at all times. When you let someone cross your personal boundary without reacting then from this moment that's the default. So when he removes your hand and you don't do shit then he now knows he's got green light to treat you like that at all times. Same with girls. Once you let her do some unacceptable shit to you it's really hard to recover from that later. Know your personal boundaries and execute them like a motherfucker.

I'd much prefer to tell him straight away "don't fucking touch me!" and make a little scene than sitting quietly.

Game, Set and Match.

Post: #16

Starting a fight at a bar is an infinitely stupid idea. Suggesting he's possessive of the lizard or attracted to you is the smarter solution. Dangerous people don't start fights. Remember that.