Post: #1

Gents, I would like to discuss what I call 'Ralph Wiggum' game, named after The Simpsons character. As you can guess, it's about delivering intentionally retarded pick up lines during the approach phase of the pick up to get her laughing to lower the bitch shield, then use your real game once her shields are down, striking with the lethality of an envenomed dagger through a crack in armor.

I'm talking lines that are truly majestic in their retardation.

Examples:

'I choo choo choo choose you'

'Roses are red, violets are blue, if you we're a Pokemon, I'd choose you'


'My Mom just told she wants grand kids soon'

I'm thinking about trying this out this weekend. If I spectacularly fail, at least I would be amusing myself.

Has anyone employed these types of maneuvers before?

Post: #2

(06-07-2013 12:32 AM)A War You Cannot Win Wrote:  Gents, I would like to discuss what I call 'Ralph Wiggum' game, named after The Simpsons character. As you can guess, it's about delivering intentionally retarded pick up lines during the approach phase of the pick up to get her laughing to lower the bitch shield, then use your real game once her shields are down, striking with the lethality of an envenomed dagger through a crack in armor.

I'm talking lines that are truly majestic in their retardation.

Examples:

'I choo choo choo choose you'

'Roses are red, violets are blue, if you we're a Pokemon, I'd choose you'


'My Mom just told she wants grand kids soon'

I'm thinking about trying this out this weekend. If I spectacularly fail, at least I would be amusing myself.

Has anyone employed these types of maneuvers before?

These are fine, but if you don't have the confidence and inner game to pull them off, forget about it. Notice there are few discussions about openers. Because whether you drop a James Bond style torpedo of suave cinematic aloofness or a goofy slogan picked off of a Nickelodeon cartoon, it doesn't matter unless you can follow it off. The real value in trying these out is that it may spur you to approach. Though I actually like the grandkids one.

Post: #3

For me, the confidence thing is not an issue. I'm on the hilariously ridiculous side when it comes to Dark Triad traits. Plus, I'll be suited up ideally' so there may be some nice contrast going there. After the shock and awe or the initial opener I plan on running my usual standard operating procedure.

I thank you for your contribution.

Post: #4

Ralph Wiggum can go 3 ways
1) Nerdy chicks who know the Simpsons will play along. (I run across those more often than you would think. There's one at my gig now)

2) Some girls like that young playful thing - but they also tend to be young and impressionable.

3) Some girls won't get it, other girls will just write you off as corny.

I wouldn't do it, but you should open 20 chicks with a simpsons line and let us know how it turned out.

WIA

Post: #5

Whelp, someone over the Internet just challenged me to test my mettle as a man. It's Ralph Wiggum game and Black Out Drunk game this weekend.

I figure if the girl doesn't get it, I've already put my back to the wall so I might as well go out swinging and go super direct at that point. Maybe my looks will be able to carry me at that point but I doubt it.

Lord, help me.

Post: #6

Me - Isn't it gonna be hard?
Her - What?
Me - Getting back to heaven without your wings.

Post: #7

"My cat's breath smells like cat food."

Post: #8

"Do alligators alligate?"

Post: #9

Transitioning off the dance floor. "You bent my wookie..."

Post: #10

I see this working better as something you sprinkle in after you've already gotten the girl. Remember where "I Choo Choo Choose You" got Ralph.



I do like "My cat's name is Mittens" as a good non-sequitur.

Post: #11

"I'm a pop sensation!"

"When I grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar."

"She's touching my special area!"

"I bent my wookie..."

"I love you because you kill people."

Post: #12

Great Idea. Daygame a la Simple pick up style. Best video wins.

"Will you cook my dinner for me? My parents aren't around and I'm not allowed to turn on the stove."

Post: #13

That 'will you cook dinner for me?' Line is perfect. Absolutely perfect.

Post: #14

Great thread.

"I dress myself"

Ralph vs. Butters from Southpark?

Post: #15

After the bang: "Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a viking!"

Post: #16

awesome

i like girls with sense of humour and often go for retarded openers or phrases in the middle of the conversation. also it filters dumb and boring chics.

recently got girls posing with a toy shark i had in the bag for my younger brother, and did "i'm a dinosaur hunter *growl*" stuff. good response & enjoyed myself