Post: #1

Hi everybody

I will relate my case.

I'm 21 years old.I've been living in the same small city all my life,with a difficult childhood and problems in school and high school(extreme social anxiety).

I never had a good relationship with my father because he Works all the day,and my mother has been always very protective with me.

The problema is that I'm trapped studying a long university degree which I dislike but I'm passing it without major problems...I chose It because before joining the university I didn't know what to do with my life....and had fear of moving out from my parents home..

Now I feel deppressed week after week,I don't fancy going out at night and my only scape is bodybuilding,if not,I would had many schizofrenic attacks at home..I've been going to the psychologist but I don't feel much better..

I've been readen two articles that I found really inspiring:


http://www.returnofkings.com/8013/the-fi...ming-a-man

http://www.returnofkings.com/12375/the-e...depression

I must admit that I'm very good looking,muscular and near the 2m height..But I want to stop feeling in this way...

Post: #2

(06-20-2013 03:44 PM)Kristian Wrote:  my only scape is bodybuilding

Maybe look for another hobby?

Find something else you enjoy and go from there.

Baby steps.

Post: #3

Find a very good psychiatrist (preferable older male) in your area and get evaluated, as well as a full physical.

There are a lot of medical conditions that can affect mood.

Post: #4

Your university should offer FREE counseling.

Start there.

WIA

Post: #5

...

Post: #6

I've been through some rough times. Here's what I've learned over the years:

1) Go on long walks and listen to classical music. This clears up most anxiety for me.
2) Start doing compound lifts heavy. You mentioned body building but are you doing the compound lifts? Squats, dead lifts, bench press, overhead press, cleans, snatches, etc.? I find that I feel on top of the world for about a week after doing a max effort day. People notice too. I routinely get opened by women for a few days after my max effort sessions.
3) Do something outdoor and physical. Try and find an activity that really requires maximum focus and energy. For me it's surfing. I know other dudes who get really into rock climbing or kayaking. Something along those lines.
4) Find a psychologist or counselor you can work with. Not all shrinks are created equal. Find one that works for you. Most will offer a consultation session for free or a reduced rate. Go a few times and see how well you connect with the person. What you're looking for is someone who can attune emotionally to you and be empathetic. If you suffer from social anxiety or are low on funds group therapy can be good too. Again, find the right group. Just because you went to one or two and they didn't click doesn't mean it's not for you.

Exercise and lots of time outdoors gets me 90% there. Talking to a counselor takes care of the other 10% and helps prevent unexpected bumps in the road from throwing me too far off track.

Post: #7

I've never been able to beat it all by myself. The only thing that cured it was going away as far as possible. Note that it means travelling, but also getting away from your whole day-to-day or lifestyle, people (or lack of). To this day I am totally sure there is absolutely no way to cure depression by yourself only. Tear down your whole environment and let the result help you.

Post: #8

find people who have it worse then you. Help them. Realize you have it pretty good.

volunteering at a children's hospital can usually cure people of their "woe is me" mentality.

Post: #9

Agreed that exercise helps greatly. Coupled with healthy diet and plenty of sleep you are sure to feel better

Post: #10

Maybe try some sleep deprivation therapy?

http://www.scientificamerican.com/articl...depression

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12531127

Also, it sounds like you still live with your parents. Move out. Parents have this thing where they unconsciously tear you down in order to keep your spirits low to keep you from undertaking risky behaviours. Move out.

Post: #11

I can relate to this. It doesn't help that the weather is crap either. Traveling seems to be the only thing that keeps me going.

Post: #12

(06-20-2013 11:59 PM)Thomas the Rhymer Wrote:  Maybe try some sleep deprivation therapy?

http://www.scientificamerican.com/articl...depression

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12531127

Also, it sounds like you still live with your parents. Move out. Parents have this thing where they unconsciously tear you down in order to keep your spirits low to keep you from undertaking risky behaviours. Move out.

these two work great, at least for a while. if you usually sleep 8 hours or more, try going down to 5 or 6 for a few days, that always helps me escape a low for a few days. with the new energy go do thinks that keep your spirits up, like moving out, trying out a new hobby etc.

cheers

Post: #13

(06-20-2013 03:47 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

(06-20-2013 03:44 PM)Kristian Wrote:  my only scape is bodybuilding

Maybe look for another hobby?

Find something else you enjoy and go from there.

Baby steps.

thx.

I won't never with bodybuilding,but in the future I will mix it with other activities,such as Muay Thai..

My other hobbies are travelling,reading...I've been saving 10.K so i will probably scape a big period of time around Europe...

(06-20-2013 04:48 PM)iknowexactly Wrote:  Find a very good psychiatrist (preferable older male) in your area and get evaluated, as well as a full physical.

There are a lot of medical conditions that can affect mood.

thanks! I will look for an older one

(06-20-2013 04:58 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  Your university should offer FREE counseling.

Start there.

WIA

that service at my university sucks xDD

(06-20-2013 05:03 PM)Dr.Benway Wrote:  you're european? one word:Erasmus. Get out of your funk and into a whole new environment. go there and be/become whoever and whatever you want to be. its much easier to initiate changes in your life when you are completely outside of your usual social pressures and stimuli. plus, if youa re really a 2 m jacked gorilla man, the horny college chicks will make it easy on you

I will opt for the Erasmus the next year...will probably choose an EE country.

(06-20-2013 07:02 PM)Ensam Wrote:  I've been through some rough times. Here's what I've learned over the years:

1) Go on long walks and listen to classical music. This clears up most anxiety for me.
2) Start doing compound lifts heavy. You mentioned body building but are you doing the compound lifts? Squats, dead lifts, bench press, overhead press, cleans, snatches, etc.? I find that I feel on top of the world for about a week after doing a max effort day. People notice too. I routinely get opened by women for a few days after my max effort sessions.
3) Do something outdoor and physical. Try and find an activity that really requires maximum focus and energy. For me it's surfing. I know other dudes who get really into rock climbing or kayaking. Something along those lines.
4) Find a psychologist or counselor you can work with. Not all shrinks are created equal. Find one that works for you. Most will offer a consultation session for free or a reduced rate. Go a few times and see how well you connect with the person. What you're looking for is someone who can attune emotionally to you and be empathetic. If you suffer from social anxiety or are low on funds group therapy can be good too. Again, find the right group. Just because you went to one or two and they didn't click doesn't mean it's not for you.

Exercise and lots of time outdoors gets me 90% there. Talking to a counselor takes care of the other 10% and helps prevent unexpected bumps in the road from throwing me too far off track.

The aspect of exercise is totally covered,I mix bodybuilding with calisthenics and cardio

Post: #14

(06-20-2013 07:45 PM)Volk Wrote:  I've never been able to beat it all by myself. The only thing that cured it was going away as far as possible. Note that it means travelling, but also getting away from your whole day-to-day or lifestyle, people (or lack of). To this day I am totally sure there is absolutely no way to cure depression by yourself only. Tear down your whole environment and let the result help you.

And where did you go out?

I agree with you.Thanks to this fórum and the information of the internet I feel much better.I have discovered a new way to scape from this situation,if not..I would feel stagnant with the same feelings again and again

(06-20-2013 11:08 PM)snoop Wrote:  find people who have it worse then you. Help them. Realize you have it pretty good.

volunteering at a children's hospital can usually cure people of their "woe is me" mentality.

I will look for a volunteering program in some stage of my life

(06-20-2013 11:59 PM)Thomas the Rhymer Wrote:  Maybe try some sleep deprivation therapy?

http://www.scientificamerican.com/articl...depression

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12531127

Also, it sounds like you still live with your parents. Move out. Parents have this thing where they unconsciously tear you down in order to keep your spirits low to keep you from undertaking risky behaviours. Move out.

sleep depravation therapy? heee..no xD

(06-21-2013 01:47 AM)Every10GivesMeA10 Wrote:  I can relate to this. It doesn't help that the weather is crap either. Traveling seems to be the only thing that keeps me going.

Weather doesn't affect me.Where have you travelled?

Post: #15

Stay strong brother, you'll break through. Depression is the worst.

Post: #16

(06-21-2013 08:23 AM)Kristian Wrote:  

(06-20-2013 11:59 PM)Thomas the Rhymer Wrote:  Maybe try some sleep deprivation therapy?

http://www.scientificamerican.com/articl...depression

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12531127

Also, it sounds like you still live with your parents. Move out. Parents have this thing where they unconsciously tear you down in order to keep your spirits low to keep you from undertaking risky behaviours. Move out.

sleep depravation therapy? heee..no xD

You're not willing to party all night long in order to feel better? You deserve to be depressed.

Post: #17

Sleep deprivation has been proven to work and is an established therapy.

But - it only has very short term effects, i.e. you will feel releaf for one or two days at maximum. It's not meant to "cure" depression but to enable patients to be free of their symptoms for a short time so that they can know the difference between depression and a normal state.

When you have been chronically depressed for a long time, you start to forget how life can be without depression. You start seeing your sad, tired state as normal.



Your best move is to put a distance between you and your parents and perhaps seek another psychotherapist. It's hard if not impossible to break free from bad habits, thought and behavioral patterns if there is no distance between you and your dysfunctional family.

Sports and diet are important but don't expect any miracles from that.