Post: #1

One of the most profound quantum leaps in my confidence with women (well, in general) and my abilities as a seducer occurred shortly after I started putting in some concerted effort to become a great lover.

Before I focused on this, sure - I'd get laid and have a good time with a girl, and it would be casual and fun and non-committal.

Now, girls straight up fall in love with me. And I attribute this almost scary power to the work I've done and continue to do to improve my sexual skills.

I'm NOT some expert on sex. I have so much left to learn.

But here's what I learned so far and hopefully it will be useful to some of you:

1. Sex is psychological

You're not just fucking a girl's pussy. You're fucking her heart and soul. If you can get inside her emotions and tune into them and flow with them, you'll rock her world. And you'll get off harder, too.

2. Dominance

The more I exert control, dominance, ownership, possession over a woman, the more she falls in love with me. There's a finesse to dominance. It's brute force but it's controlled and targeted.

First, a girl needs to have some sort of emotional investment in you for you to be able to effectively dominate her. You can't just demand she get on her knees and blow you in a public bathroom (in general) if she doesn't already see you as - I hate this term - "high value". Hence why "nice guys" have no hand in relationships. They have no sexual value, so a woman doesn't allow herself to be submissive to this guy. Because she can't trust him to responsibly handle the polarity.

So you can constantly keep pushing the dominance threshold. But you also need to watch that you're not making demands too far outside of her level of submissiveness.

I'm still working out the kinks on this. But basically, I find it's good to escalate dominance gradually and reward it. "Good girl". "That's my girl - *spank*", etc.

Also, picking a girl up, spanking her, choking her lightly, pulling her hair and all of that kind of raw physical dominance works well with just about any kind of girl and feels very empowering to you as a man. It also lets you jump her submissiveness to higher levels quickly. Like skipping a few steps.

By the way this is not domineering-ness, which is insecurity based and aimed at insulting a woman. This is more just of a "I want you => I'm going to have you => I have you => I have you more => You're mine => your pussy belongs to me"

A bit hard to explain. It's more of a feeling. I'd really recommend Dan Rose's book "Sex God Method". He talks a lot about dominance and how to do it right. You can find the PDF on Google.

3. Do what you want in bed

The more I let loose in bed, the more the girl gets turned on and the more I enjoy. I don't ask for anything. I take it. I tell her what to do and she does it (most of the time).


4. Talk dirty and be expressive

I was always a quiet lover. I figured what the hell do I need to talk for?

But now I say all sorts of dirty shit and moan and grunt like an animal and straight up scream my lungs out during orgasm. I think I've heard @xsplat call this "affect". It adds a lot of excitement and emotion to the whole affair.

I'm in Asia but even with the language barrier chicks get into it. It's funny to hear a Thai girl talking dirty back to me in broken English and it comes out totally comical haha.

"Make my pussy cum deep into your cock", "put yourself inside myself baby oh!"

But say the right thing at the right time and you'll feel the pussy juice squirt all over your dick right then. It's nuts.

5. Foreplay

Well before actual sex I'm teasing a lot, exerting a lot of physical dominance (spanking, hair pulling, picking her up), and just generally getting her riled up and slightly agitated. I'm always reasserting the frame to keep the dominant/submissive roles strongly polar.

Some girls (cough cough Western girls) insist on fucking up the polarity by trying to assume an overly dominant role in bed. So with these girls it's all the more necessary to continually enforce the roles or the sex will suffer big time.

Clumsiest sex I ever had was when the woman wanted to be the man. So I was arranging her body and she was trying to arrange mine. I was kissing her hard and she was tonguing me back twice as hard. This got annoying in about 2 minutes. So I threw her down, choked her, pulled her hair extra hard and came in her mouth. She was a bit dumbstruck. Next time we fucked it was like a completely different vibe.

5. Slow down

I used to just pump away until I came. And I still do sometimes. But it's almost good if I'm not too horny, so I can take my time and build up the tension. It's the difference between a pop song and a symphony if you know what I mean.

6. Love em

After I violate their bodies mercilessly, I let the women in my life know how much they mean to me. And they really do. Lying drenched in sweat, with a woman's bare skin draped over me like a sheet, I feel so fucking happy and grateful. Not that I had sex necessarily. But that I'm alive and enjoying my life. And that I have beautiful girls around me to inspire me and keep me going.

I don't necessarily say I love you or anything. I try to stay from that kind of language to be honest. I feel it corrupts the purity of emotion to label it. But they know how I feel. I don't try to hide it. It's in my eyes, it's in my tender gestures. It's in my refusal to break my terms for them or anybody else.

I'm sure I'll read this post in a year and think man I didn't know anything back then. But this is where I'm at now and I hope you guys enjoyed the post. I also welcome any advice to up my sex game that I missed. Thanks.

Post: #2

(07-10-2013 01:20 PM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  Clumsiest sex I ever had was when the woman wanted to be the man. So I was arranging her body and she was trying to arrange mine. I was kissing her hard and she was tonguing me back twice as hard. This got annoying in about 2 minutes. So I threw her down, choked her, pulled her hair extra hard and came in her mouth. She was a bit dumbstruck. Next time we fucked it was like a completely different vibe.

Something to remember. Great post.

Post: #3

I never understood the whole "I don't care about the girl as long as I get my nut" mentality.

I want to destroy their entire belief system regarding sex. I strive to be the best she has every had in bed. Thats what keeps them coming back for more, regardless of how I treat them after. That is what makes her friends curious about me. That is what allows me to keep fucking other girls in the rotation while being completely honest about it. That is how you go from seduction to the complete domination of their psyche. If the question was how does one "win" the game, that is answer.

It is truly amazing what you can get away with once you make a female addicted to sex with you.

Post: #4

this dude needs a blog. extremely well written. the extreme dominance and then extreme tenderness, in particular, is bad ass, and the kind of push pull that drives girls crazy.

the only two other people in the manosphere who written this good about the inner workings of sex -- physical, psychological, emotional -- are d&p and krauser.

Post: #5

@antitrace

great addition. also true.

on my blog i have written about what i call "baby girl game". if she's my whore, she gets to be my princess. it is based on deep affection and tenderness, but only if she is my dirty sex slave.

again, push pull.

Post: #6

I just had this revelation myself. OP is 100% correct.


I had people over recently and posted some pics on FB of it. This chick I'm just acquaintances with likes one of the pics (7-7.5, great body as she literally works out 7 days a week), I send her a message on facebook asking why she wasn't there (I didn't invited her). We chat for a while, I get her number, and 6 days later she invites me over. I used those 6 days to employ the best text game I could and it worked like a charm (thanks Roosh)!

I get to her house and she grabs me as soon as I walk in the door and starts making out with me. She literally tried to pull me in the bedroom before I even sat down (mind you this is the first time we've ever hung out other than a couple years ago once with a group of people). I was stone sober and her kid was still awake so I told her not right now, I want to get a few beers in first, so lets relax for a minute. This just made her want me more. I pound 4 beers in a little over a half hour and her kid is asleep, then it's on.

She pulls me in the bedroom and we start going at it. For the first time my inner game was working for me. I kept telling myself the things I've learned here and from CH, "You are the prize! Bang her like it's your last bang! It's a privilege for her to be with you right now!" All the things I've never thought about myself as a beta. My goodness did they work! I went for almost 3 hours like a MF BOSS! I haven't went that long in probably 10 years, and I gave it to her good. My frame made it possible because I had no negativity to me and had confidence in myself. I don't have a great body nor am I hung, but that didn't matter to her and she was moaning loud as hell even though her kid was asleep 20 feet away. When I needed a break, she went down on me like it was her job. When we were done she started mumbling some stuff about how much she liked me but I cut her off as to not make it awkward and I just held her tight.

Ever since then this chick is absolutely in love with me! I seriously think she would marry me if I asked her. I can't believe how much a change of mind and a little belief in myself changed things. Never again will I be an insecure chump in bed. Man, I wish I could go back in time!

Post: #7

^^

Post: #8

True story - I'm still surprised by it.

Post: #9

(07-10-2013 01:50 PM)AntiTrace Wrote:  I never understood the whole "I don't care about the girl as long as I get my nut" mentality.

I want to destroy their entire belief system regarding sex. I strive to be the best she has every had in bed. Thats what keeps them coming back for more, regardless of how I treat them after. That is what makes her friends curious about me. That is what allows me to keep fucking other girls in the rotation while being completely honest about it. That is how you go from seduction to the complete domination of their psyche. If the question was how does one "win" the game, that is answer.

It is truly amazing what you can get away with once you make a female addicted to sex with you.

I have a problem with some girls that I'm too good in bed. Sometimes it's better to be not so good in bed because then they won't cling to you.

You have to strike a balance that keeps them at the edge of their seat.

I'm kind of like the Great American Scream machine: Parts of me are really tall and they keep coming back for more.

Post: #10

Number 1 is I think something that a LOT of men do not get at all. It is the difference between being a good lover and another penis.

Good stuff about dominance! Need to work on this myself...

Post: #11

I'm in my 30's and didn't pick up a lot of dominance related tips until about 3 years ago. one of the benefits of having a steady relationship with a girl who was very dirty back in her day with a lot of guys. she learned a lot and translated it to me. I've always been dominant in bed, but from her I learned choking, and not light choking either, tying up, hair pulling, etc. she was very into me not being quiet, and 'taking it' as they say...basically doing what I want and being in control.

I translated all of that dominance and confidence to my next gf and took it to handcuffs and more. she loved it too! There was also the emotional connection in these situations. I was their man, and I was acting like it, so it was all good.

its one of those things I wonder why I never tried before - just needed someone to show mw the 'ropes' I guess.

my problem nowadays is not 'when' I'm in bed - its getting there!! I'm horrible with flirting or running game. I'm good looking but not so much that girls drool over me. I come off as a super nice guy (because I am but that's only 1 side) so I can see how women may not think I'm so adventurous.

guys...how can I drop some hints that they might be in for a great night as the OP describes??

Post: #12

Girls seem to like it of you're going missionary position and put your full body weight on them. It's the control I think.

Post: #13

Woman want to submit.Even those that try and act like they don't.It's not if she wants to be submissive it's does she want to be submissive to YOU.I think the whole sexual dominance thing goes right along with being an Alpha male.NEVER ask for permission from a woman.Just take what you want( not in a rape sense).

Post: #14

(07-11-2013 05:34 AM)TheMachinist Wrote:  Just take what you want( not in a rape sense).

You can't rape

Post: #15

I like to put my thumb in a girls butt when she's riding me.

Post: #16

(07-10-2013 01:20 PM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  1. Sex is psychological

You're not just fucking a girl's pussy. You're fucking her heart and soul. If you can get inside her emotions and tune into them and flow with them, you'll rock her world. And you'll get off harder, too.

Good post.

Most men don't understand this. Like everything else sex begins and ends in the mind. For men sex is primarily physical for women it's emotional.

BUT, you can get a woman to fall in love with you without sex, pimps proves this all the time. Also the world is changing, women are becoming more and more like men and this is changing the dynamics of relationships.

Post: #17

yeah i mentally fuck girls, i get inside their heads.

most guys DO NOT do this. that's why the thread about resources is BS, it's the emotions that count and i'm the supplier. i deal out strong emotions like my own brand of drug. girl gets completely hooked.

i love you/i hate you, you're special/you're just like every other girl, i feel something around you i'm sure of it/i'm so confused, don't know what i think, i'm opening up/i can't open up, you're my slut/you're my princess, why do you do this to me? - great push/pull.

i throw logic out the window. it's more effective. talking about feelings is EXTREMELY HIGH VALUE to the girl when you dominate her completely in bed AND she knows or suspects you're banging other girls.

she will want you badly. she will need to possess you and you dangle yourself in front of her, always so close but so far.

telling a girl you're open to love with the right girl when she knows you're banging other girls is fucking powerful. always tell her 'baby, you're different'.

she will fight hard for the CHANCE that you may one day give her exclusivity.

all the other guys who put her up a pedastal stand no chance.

Post: #18

There's one thing I don't get. Why would you want women to "fall in love" with you? That just gets messy.

Post: #19

@Vicious I disagree. I want women to not only fall in love with me but to stay in love with me. Men believe that a woman in love is a problem simply because they don't know how to control the situation.

Post: #20

(07-11-2013 12:51 PM)Nomad77 Wrote:  @Vicious I disagree. I want women to not only fall in love with me but to stay in love with me. Men believe that a woman in love is a problem simply because they don't know how to control the situation.

Yeah um..there's no controlling the situation, prepare for some stalking and meltdowns.

Post: #21

Depends on the person but some girls I want falling in love with me and others I don't.

Ie- a very hot rich girl with her own place and cool feminine personality. Fall in love with me.

A 7 who lives with her parents and is annoying. Do not fall in love with me. .

Post: #22

I have never had a woman stalk me or melt down or whatever but then again, I operate quite a bit differently when it comes to love and women in general. It definitely calls for handling things differently than the way most guys have been taught or think about it. The best analogy would be: pimp game.

Post: #23

Women + love = the most unrational series of events and behaviour possible.

Nomad77, do educate us on your "pimp game" and the difference in your style.

Post: #24

I def hate making a girl fall in "love" with me. But I have no idea what goes thru their heads.

Post: #25

@Vicious I would really have to sit down and think about it, break it down. But what I do know is that women are like kids, if you ALLOW them to behave however they want they will. It all comes to down to imposing your frame, your view of life on them and the situation. Quickly thinking about it...it wouldn't be something that would be easy to teach. We confirm to whoever view of the world (frame) is the strongest.