Post: #1

**Warning** Beta Thread

My sure thing flaked on me the other night. Stopped replying to my texts. Wouldn't answer the phone. I gave her a good hour to get back to me before I wrote her off and went to plan B.

Ended up going bar hopping with med school braniac girl that I know. So we're at the second bar of the night and we get on the topic of relationships of course.

She says that when people are in love that it brings out their best in all other areas of their life. Such as work, school, sports etc.

I figured this topic would be worthy of discussion here.

Thoughts?

Post: #2

I see the way she is working, but still think she has it wrong. I would instead restate her hypothesis: success breeds success. If you are having great success professionally,or academically, you will find that it is much easier to socialize and swoop women and be good with women because you are already in a great mood from the rest of your day and it shows and totally rubs off on your attitude on everything you do.

This has to do with 'building strong inner game".

She is saying that when you are in love, you are more likely to be doing well in other areas in your life? eh I think she has it backwards. when the rest of your life is going well, it is easier to run game on women.

Post: #3

(08-19-2013 09:29 PM)master_thespian Wrote:  I see the way she is working, but still think she has it wrong. I would instead restate her hypothesis: success breeds success. If you are having great success professionally,or academically, you will find that it is much easier to socialize and swoop women and be good with women because you are already in a great mood from the rest of your day and it shows and totally rubs off on your attitude on everything you do.

This has to do with 'building strong inner game".

She is saying that when you are in love, you are more likely to be doing well in other areas in your life? eh I think she has it backwards. when the rest of your life is going well, it is easier to run game on women.

She's speaking from the female perspective of course. For men career usually comes before relationships.

Post: #4

Oh, so she means "when women are in love, it brings out the best in the other aspects of their lives like 'work/school/sports/etc'.

That may likely be true for women.

Post: #5

(08-19-2013 09:38 PM)master_thespian Wrote:  Oh, so she means "when women are in love, it brings out the best in the other aspects of their lives like 'work/school/sports/etc'.

That may likely be true for women.

I called her out on being a feminist. She denies the claim. But she tends to speak in gender neutral terminology like that. She's a cool chick and I enjoy pushing her buttons

Post: #6

I believe this is absolutely true for women. I know of a Ukrainian girl who was a painter. When she had a fight with her boyfriend she painted on section of the painting she was working on a dark, grey, moody sky. The don't separate performance form emotion and if they are secure in their relationship they are secure in general. I think we all know the flipside, a bitchy wife who is hitched to a guy who lets her push him around. I would say that for men girls can be a distraction from doing real work. Tesla, Newton and many other renowned broskis throughout history were completely celibate.

Post: #7

Agreeing. For women, it's a good thing. Many times their validation is directly tied to the caliber of man they've ensnared or their own perceived sexual market value.

For many men, it can be a distraction and a burden. When I didn't have a serious relationship I felt I could devote more time to my hobbies and sub-consciously I probably also put more vigor into my efforts. On the flip side, one of the most effective motivating factors for a man is a family to support, one that genuinely care and loves him and vice versa. Too bad that's pretty rare today.

Post: #8

(08-19-2013 09:38 PM)master_thespian Wrote:  Oh, so she means "when women are in love, it brings out the best in the other aspects of their lives like 'work/school/sports/etc'.

That may likely be true for women.

Yeah, I can see some truth to this actually, after all reproductive success from a female perspective is getting a high-value man (someone you love) to commit. It's the female version of "pussy gets pussy." They probably feel on top of the world the same way you do when you're on a hot streak and you feel like you can bang every girl you talk to.

Post: #9

No.

Last time I was in love, I was 21. Appetite remained the same, and my sleep requirements went from 6-8 hours down to 4. I was more energetic and had 4 more hours of free time, but it was like I was constantly on stimulants and unable to come down.

The emotional high was novel, and like AWYCW, it was a distraction more than a contribution.

Post: #10

Studies have shown that when men fall in love, their testosterone drops and they develop more nurturing qualities. Nature is preparing the man for fatherhood. It's a process called "betaization". And I'm sure many of us have felt it before.

Personally, after the last time I fell hard for a girl, I decided to never let it happen again. Here's what I noticed:

Testosterone drop - After a while, I didn't even want to have sex with her anymore. Or rarely.

Emotionally vulnerable - Since we were so connected emotionally, she was able to shake me anytime she wanted. I tried keeping my frame as best I could of course, for both of our sakes, but she knew she could push my buttons. I hated that feeling.

It feels great to be in love but it's too much of a headache to deal with the fallout and takes me away from my greater purposes in life.

Anybody else notice similar effects?

Post: #11

Not trying to sound theatrical here, but I'm legitimately unsure I've ever been in love. How did you guys know when you were in love? What did it feel like, or, was it ineffable?

Post: #12

Love = Feelings. Feelings are the realm of the feminine, so naturally as others here have pointed out, if a woman is feeling good then that's the most important thing and it will reflect in her work, daily activities, etc.

Men have feelings too of course. When I use the words maculine and feminine I'm refering to metaphysical concepts. The feminine says feelings and wholeness are what is the real. The masculine says logic/reason and identity are the real.

There are two sides to love. The jealous lover who kills also does that act because, "They loved the other so much"

As Billy Joel said, "She'll bring out the best and the worst you can be".

They key is to not let love or any of the other vicissitudes of life affect our inner peace. Instead of being on the ferris wheel of Highs and Lows, we want to strive to be at the still point of a turning world where Joy and Sorrow never affect out peace.

VincentVintuiri's post is great. It really shows the effects of Love. It's been said, "Love is the greatest teacher, because it's lessons are the most harsh". The goal of Love should be to gain self-knowldge.

Post: #13

I know I'm going against the grain here, but I'd have to agree with her, honestly. At least for myself. If I'm left to my own devices, I live very fast and I'd be apt to bring myself to an early demise if I didn't go through 2-3 year relationships as periodically as I do. I'm extremely productive in a lot of areas of my life when in a relationship.

Most of the more successful guys I know have also been married or in long relationships for most of their lives. When you stay single, you can only focus so much because you're always distracted by the pussy chase. Girlfriends certainly have their own set of distractions but if you learn to set your boundaries it isn't too big of a deal.

Then again, does she mean being "in love" or being in a strong relationship? Because those are definitely two different things and I'm probably more referring to the latter. When you're in that initial honeymoon stage it can be damn distracting and hard to focus on anything else - if you're really head over heels in love, I mean.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #14

(08-19-2013 09:25 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  **Warning** Beta Thread

My sure thing flaked on me the other night. Stopped replying to my texts. Wouldn't answer the phone. I gave her a good hour to get back to me before I wrote her off and went to plan B.

Ended up going bar hopping with med school braniac girl that I know. So we're at the second bar of the night and we get on the topic of relationships of course.

She says that when people are in love that it brings out their best in all other areas of their life. Such as work, school, sports etc.

I figured this topic would be worthy of discussion here.

Thoughts?

No being in love does not bring out the best in people. It can induce endorphins like crazy so you might feel like it's bringing out the best in you, but people are capable of doing terrible things to other and themselves when they are in love.

I consider love to be like booze or some other drug. It's a condition that has it's own agenda that doesn't really care about you. So, in a way, love doesn't even have to love you.

So much for love..

Post: #15

I would tentatively agree with that statement. Recently when things with my girl were going really smoothly I had an excellent quarter. I got high grades, was constantly doing interesting things, and being much more social. Naturally there are a lot of variables that could have effected me during that time frame so I don't want to attribute all of it to her but she certainly had something to do with it.

Post: #16

Disagree with the being in love part, but I like relationships at certain times in my life because things are more stable. I have energy to focus on other things instead of my mind constantly being fixated on the next pussy.

Despite what we talk about here, I've noticed downsides to being a player without breaks. When I'm meeting up with a lot of new girls, I tend to drink more and stay up later. My workouts, training, finances, health, and hobbies take a hit. Basically my life becomes a nonstop party. It's fun, but I really can't maintain the pace for more than a few months at a time without some time off.

Once I feel burnout coming in, I tend to date a girl for a while. As far as everything in my life improving, no way. I get more stability, but I guarantee I'll become bored with the girl and she'll piss me off one way or another in no time.

Post: #17

Falling in love makes you beta and is bad for your mental health.

Love = "she's the one" = scarcity mindset and all of its attendant insecurities.

Post: #18

If you spend X amount of time thinking about pussy and X amount of time trying to get pussy, once your in love all that spare energy has to be put towards something else. This never lasts long enough for me though, I get irritated after 3 months and replace her.

Post: #19

Generally speaking, yes. Men need to be inspired, and being in love is one of the best motivators to work hard, excel and be the best you can be. You have a sense of the future to care for.

However, if you are in love with someone who manipulates you for their own ends and makes you suffer, then the rest of your life will take a nosedive as well. So I guess love is just an extremely powerful force, but one that can go either way.

Post: #20

I dig love. But all I wanted to do is bang the woman I love and blast inside of her all day, then nap while she made food then bang again. It really sapped my productivity in other areas of life. My urges when we were together were all directed at impregnating and protecting her.

Post: #21

Well I'm in love with my latest EX, but I dumped her because she was mentally draining which in turn affects my growth and self improvement and hell no I can't have that.
The way I see it, If I can't start making money like I should, Get more physically fit like I should, and finish school like I should.
The Bitch who is so fucking obsessed with me and caused all these problem will ultimately Leave me because she wants better.
Idk what it is but I always turn a wholesome bitch psycho man, They get obsessed and confess crazy love for me.
Crazy Love is what will make you lose focus. It will suck the life out of you and mold you into an unproductive cunt.

Well I want better for myself and I dumped her early in the game. Been doing better ever since.