Post: #1

I recently moved from LA to some small suburb in San Diego after 11th grade because of my moms job.Right now I am attending community college and the lack of social life for the past 5 months has been killing me. In highschool I had no problems making friends and was pretty chill with most people in my grade but right now I don't know anyone.

The town I'm in is some small beachtown where everybody my age(17) is in high school so I don't know anyone where I live and other than the beach there isn't much to do. The other problem is the community college I'm attending is an hour and a half commute each way (two buses and a train) so chilling with somebody from school seems difficult.

I try talking with the people in my classes but I can't really relate to them at all and they're not the type of people I'd usually be friends with. Most people also already have their same friends from highschool so that makes it harder too. I also feel really out of place because the school is like 98% hispanic and people are always speaking in spanish(some people also commute from Tijuana).

Any advice is appreciated.

Post: #2

(11-29-2013 05:01 PM)calidude Wrote:  I recently moved from LA to some small suburb in San Diego after 11th grade because of my moms job.Right now I am attending community college and the lack of social life for the past 5 months has been killing me. In highschool I had no problems making friends and was pretty chill with most people in my grade but right now I don't know anyone.

The town I'm in is some small beachtown where everybody my age(17) is in high school so I don't know anyone where I live and other than the beach there isn't much to do. The other problem is the community college I'm attending is an hour and a half commute each way (two buses and a train) so chilling with somebody from school seems difficult.

I try talking with the people in my classes but I can't really relate to them at all and they're not the type of people I'd usually be friends with. Most people also already have their same friends from highschool so that makes it harder too. I also feel really out of place because the school is like 98% hispanic and people are always speaking in spanish(some people also commute from Tijuana).

Any advice is appreciated.

Why not start a sport, like football (english or American) or something like MMA or BJJ. I quickly made friends with all the guys at my MMA club, as theres a strong group atmosphere, and working out together helps to build up respect.

Post: #3

Based on your logistics with college, I would focus on getting your town, however small it is, On-Lock.

Do you have any decent bars/clubs in your town?

How small is the town population wise?

Also, if you workout, try to make friends at the gym or on the court.

Small towns can be a bitch, so I know it's tough.

Post: #4

(11-29-2013 05:01 PM)calidude Wrote:  I recently moved from LA to some small suburb in San Diego after 11th grade because of my moms job.Right now I am attending community college and the lack of social life for the past 5 months has been killing me. In highschool I had no problems making friends and was pretty chill with most people in my grade but right now I don't know anyone.

The town I'm in is some small beachtown where everybody my age(17) is in high school so I don't know anyone where I live and other than the beach there isn't much to do. The other problem is the community college I'm attending is an hour and a half commute each way (two buses and a train) so chilling with somebody from school seems difficult.

I try talking with the people in my classes but I can't really relate to them at all and they're not the type of people I'd usually be friends with. Most people also already have their same friends from highschool so that makes it harder too. I also feel really out of place because the school is like 98% hispanic and people are always speaking in spanish(some people also commute from Tijuana).

Any advice is appreciated.

that really sucks dude, but get used to it.

get used to it unless you make the decision to CHANGE when you can. Change by moving to a more urban area after high school. Change by going to a popular college with tons of bitches.

Im in the same place right now and it sucks. I hate not having an extended social life with people I share common interests with. Theres not a lot you can do right now, but you can plan ahead for when you are able to make that change. This is the time of life where you figure out what you like and what you don't and you plan ahead accordingly.

Post: #5

(11-29-2013 05:39 PM)McQueensPlayboyRules Wrote:  Based on your logistics with college, I would focus on getting your town, however small it is, On-Lock.

Do you have any decent bars/clubs in your town?

How small is the town population wise?

Also, if you workout, try to make friends at the gym or on the court.

Small towns can be a bitch, so I know it's tough.

There are maybe two bars and their filled with old people and the amount of police presence here would make it impossible to get in since I'm only 17. However there is this one kid from my class who lives a couple blocks away from me who just turned 21 so he probably has access to booze, so I'll try to hit him up during the winter break.

Pop is about 25,000 and I haven't seen that many good looking girls, the town is similar to the trashier parts of Venice and Mar Vista in LA. I'm in Imperial Beach

Right now money is tight so I can't really afford a gym right now but I'm looking for a job so hopefully I can start up soon.

How would I go about getting the town on lock and hitting up house parties seeing I don't know anyone. Nice podcast btw.

Post: #6

(11-29-2013 06:35 PM)calidude Wrote:  How would I go about getting the town on lock and hitting up house parties seeing I don't know anyone. Nice podcast btw.

you need something

shooting range

gym

play in a band

sports

Post: #7

(11-29-2013 05:25 PM)Cyr Wrote:  

(11-29-2013 05:01 PM)calidude Wrote:  I recently moved from LA to some small suburb in San Diego after 11th grade because of my moms job.Right now I am attending community college and the lack of social life for the past 5 months has been killing me. In highschool I had no problems making friends and was pretty chill with most people in my grade but right now I don't know anyone.

The town I'm in is some small beachtown where everybody my age(17) is in high school so I don't know anyone where I live and other than the beach there isn't much to do. The other problem is the community college I'm attending is an hour and a half commute each way (two buses and a train) so chilling with somebody from school seems difficult.

I try talking with the people in my classes but I can't really relate to them at all and they're not the type of people I'd usually be friends with. Most people also already have their same friends from highschool so that makes it harder too. I also feel really out of place because the school is like 98% hispanic and people are always speaking in spanish(some people also commute from Tijuana).

Any advice is appreciated.

Why not start a sport, like football (english or American) or something like MMA or BJJ. I quickly made friends with all the guys at my MMA club, as theres a strong group atmosphere, and working out together helps to build up respect.

I'm not really into combat sports but I did take a sailing class this semester which was fun and involved a group atmosphere but there was no one my age. I'm not trying to make excuses but next semester I'll be taking a heavier course load and hopefully have a job and with the commute I doesn't seem like there would be much time.

Post: #8

(11-29-2013 06:37 PM)Pyre Wrote:  

(11-29-2013 06:35 PM)calidude Wrote:  How would I go about getting the town on lock and hitting up house parties seeing I don't know anyone. Nice podcast btw.

you need something

shooting range

gym

play in a band

sports

Yeah, I used to live in a small town and know how hard it can be just to get things going. Id say join a sports club, or even volunteer somewhere if you cant afford a gym/ mma membership just to meet people and start the whole chain of going to parties-meeting friends-invited to more parties etc.
EDIT, didnt see your above post. I try and make friends at work, but I dont think volunteering with something that has a lot of teens working (such as a 'Green Team' or something) is a bad idea either. It may be shit, but once you make some friends you can go from there.

Post: #9

(11-29-2013 06:32 PM)Pyre Wrote:  

(11-29-2013 05:01 PM)calidude Wrote:  I recently moved from LA to some small suburb in San Diego after 11th grade because of my moms job.Right now I am attending community college and the lack of social life for the past 5 months has been killing me. In highschool I had no problems making friends and was pretty chill with most people in my grade but right now I don't know anyone.

The town I'm in is some small beachtown where everybody my age(17) is in high school so I don't know anyone where I live and other than the beach there isn't much to do. The other problem is the community college I'm attending is an hour and a half commute each way (two buses and a train) so chilling with somebody from school seems difficult.

I try talking with the people in my classes but I can't really relate to them at all and they're not the type of people I'd usually be friends with. Most people also already have their same friends from highschool so that makes it harder too. I also feel really out of place because the school is like 98% hispanic and people are always speaking in spanish(some people also commute from Tijuana).

Any advice is appreciated.

that really sucks dude, but get used to it.

get used to it unless you make the decision to CHANGE when you can. Change by moving to a more urban area after high school. Change by going to a popular college with tons of bitches.

Im in the same place right now and it sucks. I hate not having an extended social life with people I share common interests with. Theres not a lot you can do right now, but you can plan ahead for when you are able to make that change. This is the time of life where you figure out what you like and what you don't and you plan ahead accordingly.

Quote:calidude Wrote:
How would I go about getting the town on lock and hitting up house parties seeing I don't know anyone. Nice podcast btw.

you need something

shooting range

gym

play in a band

sports

I agree with you completely I'm going to try to make the most of the nextyear and half before I transfer. There's a skate park near my house so I plan on getting back into that to meet some people, and over the summer I plan on learning to surf. I've considered changing schools but classes might not transfer over and I don't plan on spending more than two years in community college and I want to transfer to a good uni.

Post: #10

Get a job at a restaurant, there are usually plenty of hotties and people who will be happy to hook you up with at least booze.

Post: #11

join lots of art classes.

there are hot girls every time, most competitors are beta (but don't let your guard down), not to mention everyone is more social and/or does drugs.

Speaking of which, start smoking people out. It instantly makes you the "cool bad guy" around a bunch of PC vaginas. Take classes everyone has to take such as Health science, bio etc. Basic math dictates there will always be hot girls in those classes because of the sheer volume of people trying to take them.

I know where your CC is, thats a pretty decent school "fun wise". Have weed and cigarettes on deck and people will open YOU. Fortune is on your side because, like you, there are several people (girls) in the SAME exact predicament. They are STUCK on campus for several hours and bored out of their MIND.

These are your most viable targets. You can find them in the quad/break areas listlessly on their phone. You will be surprised and delighted at how readily some of these chicks respond after being silent for 2 hrs waiting for their next class.

Lastly, don't be afraid to talk to other guys. They leverage you and make you look popular talking to chicks later (damn you know everybody here!). Not to mention the fact that he might actually be a pretty chill guy. Ive made countless good friends on campus just by saying whats up to people and offering them a smoke out.

Most people in college are beta so its up to you to reach out and make the first step.

One last thing I wanna add is that in CC, you need to find a niche, much more so than at a normal Uni. This will circumvent your problem with everyone being so "closed off" and feeling like a "drone". For me that niche was Art, and I was also lucky because our CC's art dept is one of the best in the country so it worked for my actual career as well. It will open new people to you, put hot girls in your vicinity and give a better sense of purpose about the whole place in general. In normal uni this point is somewhat moot, but in CC its usually the athletes, artists and music people getting play and being popular. Student union and all that crap is cool too. Also maybe something pertaining to your ethnicity such as "east asian club" or some shit like that.

Post: #12

Afg has the best advice here

And weed works quite well even girls smoke now

Post: #13

(11-30-2013 04:17 PM)AfgScarface Wrote:  join lots of art classes.

there are hot girls every time, most competitors are beta (but don't let your guard down), not to mention everyone is more social and/or does drugs.

Speaking of which, start smoking people out. It instantly makes you the "cool bad guy" around a bunch of PC vaginas. Take classes everyone has to take such as Health science, bio etc. Basic math dictates there will always be hot girls in those classes because of the sheer volume of people trying to take them.

I know where your CC is, thats a pretty decent school "fun wise". Have weed and cigarettes on deck and people will open YOU. Fortune is on your side because, like you, there are several people (girls) in the SAME exact predicament. They are STUCK on campus for several hours and bored out of their MIND.

These are your most viable targets. You can find them in the quad/break areas listlessly on their phone. You will be surprised and delighted at how readily some of these chicks respond after being silent for 2 hrs waiting for their next class.

Lastly, don't be afraid to talk to other guys. They leverage you and make you look popular talking to chicks later (damn you know everybody here!). Not to mention the fact that he might actually be a pretty chill guy. Ive made countless good friends on campus just by saying whats up to people and offering them a smoke out.

Most people in college are beta so its up to you to reach out and make the first step.

One last thing I wanna add is that in CC, you need to find a niche, much more so than at a normal Uni. This will circumvent your problem with everyone being so "closed off" and feeling like a "drone". For me that niche was Art, and I was also lucky because our CC's art dept is one of the best in the country so it worked for my actual career as well. It will open new people to you, put hot girls in your vicinity and give a better sense of purpose about the whole place in general. In normal uni this point is somewhat moot, but in CC its usually the athletes, artists and music people getting play and being popular. Student union and all that crap is cool too. Also maybe something pertaining to your ethnicity such as "east asian club" or some shit like that.

Great info, I'll definitely take some art classes and I'm thinking of joining the student newspaper. I'm not really into drugs so will that be a problem or will most people not really care? When meeting other people did you just talk to random people you saw walking around or just people from your classes and will my logistics make this difficult?

Post: #14

(11-30-2013 06:46 PM)calidude Wrote:  

(11-30-2013 04:17 PM)AfgScarface Wrote:  join lots of art classes.

there are hot girls every time, most competitors are beta (but don't let your guard down), not to mention everyone is more social and/or does drugs.

Speaking of which, start smoking people out. It instantly makes you the "cool bad guy" around a bunch of PC vaginas. Take classes everyone has to take such as Health science, bio etc. Basic math dictates there will always be hot girls in those classes because of the sheer volume of people trying to take them.

I know where your CC is, thats a pretty decent school "fun wise". Have weed and cigarettes on deck and people will open YOU. Fortune is on your side because, like you, there are several people (girls) in the SAME exact predicament. They are STUCK on campus for several hours and bored out of their MIND.

These are your most viable targets. You can find them in the quad/break areas listlessly on their phone. You will be surprised and delighted at how readily some of these chicks respond after being silent for 2 hrs waiting for their next class.

Lastly, don't be afraid to talk to other guys. They leverage you and make you look popular talking to chicks later (damn you know everybody here!). Not to mention the fact that he might actually be a pretty chill guy. Ive made countless good friends on campus just by saying whats up to people and offering them a smoke out.

Most people in college are beta so its up to you to reach out and make the first step.

One last thing I wanna add is that in CC, you need to find a niche, much more so than at a normal Uni. This will circumvent your problem with everyone being so "closed off" and feeling like a "drone". For me that niche was Art, and I was also lucky because our CC's art dept is one of the best in the country so it worked for my actual career as well. It will open new people to you, put hot girls in your vicinity and give a better sense of purpose about the whole place in general. In normal uni this point is somewhat moot, but in CC its usually the athletes, artists and music people getting play and being popular. Student union and all that crap is cool too. Also maybe something pertaining to your ethnicity such as "east asian club" or some shit like that.

Great info, I'll definitely take some art classes and I'm thinking of joining the student newspaper. I'm not really into drugs so will that be a problem or will most people not really care? When meeting other people did you just talk to random people you saw walking around or just people from your classes and will my logistics make this difficult?

No drugs policy won't be a problem at all but it will close doors with certain groups. Not even weed huh? It helps ALOT. Also don't you get fucking bored for 7+ hours with no weed? I digress..

As for how I went about talking to people;

My class was the bread and butter as far as connections were concerned. This didn't mean, however, that I didn't cold approach. I just understood that being in class with this person already eliminates a lot of the work involved in presenting yourself etc. It was the path of least resistance and I exploited the shit out of it.
Its basically quasi-social circle game. I met lots of cool people like this. Its important to stand out in your class as one of the more loud, charismatic and interesting guys. Your competition is weak so this shouldn't be too difficult.
Take a public speaking class if you haven't already, this will help in the way you project your voice and body language. Its not just for game, speaking well is a life skill. Making yourself stand out in your classes will automatically acquaint 30+ people in each class with you. I get people saying whats up to me in the hallway or cafeteria without even really knowing them, just cause im so loud and outrageous in that class that they know me and my crazy sense of humor.

On campus during hot days id scout out benches/ledges with cute girls sitting on them and find an excuse to sit down close by and rummage through my shit or do Gio's infamous Fake Phone Call (look it up). Either scenario gives me a segway to open the girl and im consciously scanning her for IOI's before I have even said anything. She smiles or looks your way, approach. She looks bitchy or plastered to her phone, approach anyway but don't expect much.
If its cold, I hit the library. This is difficult for me because I am like a bull in a china shop, and my game doesn't work well in such a quiet environment.

Every college has a hipster coffee shop within walking distance. Figure out where it is, get tight with the douchebag scruffy hipster barista by getting his name and tipping his jar with a couple extra bucks a few times. Find the "lost" girls (stuck for more than 1.5 hrs on campus, preferably between classes) and bring them there. They will think you are super cool and hipster. Especially when scruffy walks up in the middle of it like "duuuude try this new mochalattefaggacino you guys will love it, this guy knows *points at you*"

The newspaper is a fantastic idea, join it. It will literally force you to approach people and acquaint yourself with every clique on campus. You're gonna have to take pictures of athletes, go to events, all sorts of cool shit. Just remember to be social and present yourself as a cool motherfucker, don't just be that newspaper guy.

Post: #15

Don't look to make friends. Instead, build your lifestyle.

Start working out intensively at the gym, enroll yourself in a sport or two, start hitting some bars or clubs sober, start day gaming at stores or at coffee shops, start going to campus libraries to do computer work instead of staying at home, start socializing with everyone etc.

Basically what encompasses game.

You will attract people to you. Not only girls, but there will be opportunities for you to make friends with other dudes. From there you will be able to find out if they are cool dudes and if you should befriend them.

I'm a commuter student and my group of close friends is very small. Since I changed up my lifestyle though my number of acquaintances or people that I'm familiar with and they are with me has increased greatly.

Post: #16

(11-30-2013 08:06 PM)AfgScarface Wrote:  

(11-30-2013 06:46 PM)calidude Wrote:  

(11-30-2013 04:17 PM)AfgScarface Wrote:  join lots of art classes.

there are hot girls every time, most competitors are beta (but don't let your guard down), not to mention everyone is more social and/or does drugs.

Speaking of which, start smoking people out. It instantly makes you the "cool bad guy" around a bunch of PC vaginas. Take classes everyone has to take such as Health science, bio etc. Basic math dictates there will always be hot girls in those classes because of the sheer volume of people trying to take them.

I know where your CC is, thats a pretty decent school "fun wise". Have weed and cigarettes on deck and people will open YOU. Fortune is on your side because, like you, there are several people (girls) in the SAME exact predicament. They are STUCK on campus for several hours and bored out of their MIND.

These are your most viable targets. You can find them in the quad/break areas listlessly on their phone. You will be surprised and delighted at how readily some of these chicks respond after being silent for 2 hrs waiting for their next class.

Lastly, don't be afraid to talk to other guys. They leverage you and make you look popular talking to chicks later (damn you know everybody here!). Not to mention the fact that he might actually be a pretty chill guy. Ive made countless good friends on campus just by saying whats up to people and offering them a smoke out.

Most people in college are beta so its up to you to reach out and make the first step.

One last thing I wanna add is that in CC, you need to find a niche, much more so than at a normal Uni. This will circumvent your problem with everyone being so "closed off" and feeling like a "drone". For me that niche was Art, and I was also lucky because our CC's art dept is one of the best in the country so it worked for my actual career as well. It will open new people to you, put hot girls in your vicinity and give a better sense of purpose about the whole place in general. In normal uni this point is somewhat moot, but in CC its usually the athletes, artists and music people getting play and being popular. Student union and all that crap is cool too. Also maybe something pertaining to your ethnicity such as "east asian club" or some shit like that.

Great info, I'll definitely take some art classes and I'm thinking of joining the student newspaper. I'm not really into drugs so will that be a problem or will most people not really care? When meeting other people did you just talk to random people you saw walking around or just people from your classes and will my logistics make this difficult?

No drugs policy won't be a problem at all but it will close doors with certain groups. Not even weed huh? It helps ALOT. Also don't you get fucking bored for 7+ hours with no weed? I digress..

As for how I went about talking to people;

My class was the bread and butter as far as connections were concerned. This didn't mean, however, that I didn't cold approach. I just understood that being in class with this person already eliminates a lot of the work involved in presenting yourself etc. It was the path of least resistance and I exploited the shit out of it.
Its basically quasi-social circle game. I met lots of cool people like this. Its important to stand out in your class as one of the more loud, charismatic and interesting guys. Your competition is weak so this shouldn't be too difficult.
Take a public speaking class if you haven't already, this will help in the way you project your voice and body language. Its not just for game, speaking well is a life skill. Making yourself stand out in your classes will automatically acquaint 30+ people in each class with you. I get people saying whats up to me in the hallway or cafeteria without even really knowing them, just cause im so loud and outrageous in that class that they know me and my crazy sense of humor.

On campus during hot days id scout out benches/ledges with cute girls sitting on them and find an excuse to sit down close by and rummage through my shit or do Gio's infamous Fake Phone Call (look it up). Either scenario gives me a segway to open the girl and im consciously scanning her for IOI's before I have even said anything. She smiles or looks your way, approach. She looks bitchy or plastered to her phone, approach anyway but don't expect much.
If its cold, I hit the library. This is difficult for me because I am like a bull in a china shop, and my game doesn't work well in such a quiet environment.

Every college has a hipster coffee shop within walking distance. Figure out where it is, get tight with the douchebag scruffy hipster barista by getting his name and tipping his jar with a couple extra bucks a few times. Find the "lost" girls (stuck for more than 1.5 hrs on campus, preferably between classes) and bring them there. They will think you are super cool and hipster. Especially when scruffy walks up in the middle of it like "duuuude try this new mochalattefaggacino you guys will love it, this guy knows *points at you*"

The newspaper is a fantastic idea, join it. It will literally force you to approach people and acquaint yourself with every clique on campus. You're gonna have to take pictures of athletes, go to events, all sorts of cool shit. Just remember to be social and present yourself as a cool motherfucker, don't just be that newspaper guy.

Wow great stuff dude, you definitely need to start a separate thread on how to make the most of college.

Post: #17

Get creative.

In HS, we were banging in the library, our cars, bathrooms, sports stadiums, etc. None of us banged at home with the exception of the odd wknd here and there when everybody was out. Not so for me with my extended family living with us ;(

I got a car when I was 17 from a neighbor for a really good price. The backseat of the car became the new bedroom. And most of my friends banged in their cars as well.

Also, all the advice everyone here is giving you pretty much goes back to the same core concept: guys with awesome social lives take charge of their fun. They dont leave it to others, thats what girls do.

What Id give to be 17 again. Dont be afraid to just try stuff out.

Post: #18

In my experience as a commuter student, the way I made most of my friends was joining a fraternity. My circumstances are a little different than yours, though. I'm at a private 4-year university, located very close to a major city, and I live about a 20 minute drive from the university.

I don't think community colleges have Greek life, but that's okay because you don't need to specifically be involved in a FRATERNITY, you just need to be involved SOMEHOW. I'd say your best bet would be to find some club or activity within the school. You'll meet other students with similar interests, and, if you're a fun guy, they'll want to smoke/drink with you on the weekends. That's just the foundation of your social circle. You'll start to see more familiar faces in your classes, which means you're going to be talking to the guy next to you who's on the same rugby team, and then the guy next to him who overhears and joins in on your conversations, and then the cute blonde at the next table who likes your sense of humor, etc. Eventually, you're gonna be smoking/drinking with a bunch of different people on the weekends. It's like a domino effect of meeting people.