Post: #1

we have been fighting a lot lately about stupid bs and last night I grabbed her phone and asked who she's texting. she smiled and said just people. I saw some texts from a former fwb of her but she kept deleting the conversation so I could only see one or two messages he sent.

I forbid her to talk to other guys or have guy friends since I don't believe men and women can be platonic friends. she agreed she would not be in contact with these guys. she has mostly guy friends so she talked to one or two childhood friends. but no ex fwbs

I see this as a major disrespect to me and lord knows what she is hiding. I told her I don't trust her anymore and she got angry and defensive and said it was nothing. yeah right.

should I dump this girl??

Post: #2

It seems as if you have answered your own question.

Post: #3

(02-12-2014 09:19 PM)Every10GivesMeA10 Wrote:  we have been fighting a lot lately about stupid bs and last night I grabbed her phone and asked who she's texting. she smiled and said just people. I saw some texts from a former fwb of her but she kept deleting the conversation so I could only see one or two messages he sent.

I forbid her to talk to other guys or have guy friends since I don't believe men and women can be platonic friends. she agreed she would not be in contact with these guys. she has mostly guy friends so she talked to one or two childhood friends. but no ex fwbs

I see this as a major disrespect to me and lord knows what she is hiding. I told her I don't trust her anymore and she got angry and defensive and said it was nothing. yeah right.

should I dump this girl??

Without a doubt

Post: #4

I would, but that's just me. I don't really have that much tolerance when it comes to these things. Then again it's probably because I'm young and that might change with age. Either way I would dump her.

Post: #5

Since you're trying to fuck this girl's best friends anyway and you seem to hate her, why are you even still with her?

Post: #6

Before I even saw the thread I thought, "Yes".

Pull your head up bro. If you're not stoked to be with your girl every day that you're with her, dump the bitch.

The fact that you have to ask, "Should I dump my gf?" means that you're not stoked with her. Dump her.

Girls will lie when they have incentive to do so. She's getting what she wants from you, and she's getting what she wants from other guys. Even if she's not fucking them, she's still getting attention and validation from them which is a huge disrespect to you. I just dealt with the same exact situation.

Post: #7

she swore on her parents death that they only had a friendly conversation.

I want to dump her. I regret having stopped talking to other women when I got her. I should have had a back up girl by now. I love the feeling of a girl cooking for me, always a girl around but if this ends I'm gonna be a lonely fella

Post: #8

Make sure before you break up with her try all the nasty kinky shit with her you ever wanted to do. So what if she thinks your "creepy" cause you pee'd on her face while singing Cyndi Laupers "time after time"

Post: #9

tuthmosis its actually the bff that told her she saw the guy in a store. She's trying to hook her up with him probably.

Post: #10

(02-12-2014 09:29 PM)Cr33pin Wrote:  Make sure before you break up with her try all the nasty kinky shit with her you ever wanted to do. So what if she thinks your "creepy" cause you pee'd on her face while singing Cyndi Laupers "time after time"

wtf

Post: #11

You've been here a year, you know the answer to this.

As tuthmosis said, you're not in, nor are prbably ready, for a LTR. At your age, no one will think the worse of it.

However, you're losing frame control by letting fear of being single be part of your decision making process.

Post: #12

(02-12-2014 09:33 PM)YoungDominican Wrote:  

(02-12-2014 09:29 PM)Cr33pin Wrote:  Make sure before you break up with her try all the nasty kinky shit with her you ever wanted to do. So what if she thinks your "creepy" cause you pee'd on her face while singing Cyndi Laupers "time after time"

wtf

Don't knock it till you try it.. It's a emotionally moving experience.

Post: #13

(02-12-2014 09:27 PM)Every10GivesMeA10 Wrote:  if this ends I'm gonna be a lonely fella

So what? Good. The fact that you fear your loneliness means you should do it.

Go to the gym, make some cash, see your friends. For every guy like you that fears loneliness there are 1,000 men that wish they were single.

During those moments of loneliness, cry. Let it all out. And then use that feeling to change your life for the better.

Post: #14

(02-12-2014 09:27 PM)Every10GivesMeA10 Wrote:  she swore on her parents death that they only had a friendly conversation.

I want to dump her. I regret having stopped talking to other women when I got her. I should have had a back up girl by now. I love the feeling of a girl cooking for me, always a girl around but if this ends I'm gonna be a lonely fella

I have yet to have an exclusive or long term relationship in my life, and I feel far from lonely. I used to feel lonely in my pre-game days when I was constantly looking or hoping for a girlfriend.

I had a positive relationship last year where I had a fwb for a few months. I only saw her every other week or so. That was the closest thing to a relationship I've had. It was good for me because I had an experience I had been wanting ever since I was a teenager.

Right now, I feel great. At the moment I don't get laid often since I don't have a constant girl, and since that relationship I've only had a couple lays from night game and they were ONS's. Obviously would like to be getting laid more but winter is a harsher time inevitably and my motivation isn't as high to go out and make things happen recently.

Nevertheless, I do 1-2 nights out on the weekends. It's always an opportunity to pull, it's fun, and keeps my game muscles growing or at the very least in maintenance.

My weeknights are basically always spent alone. This means I usually read or play a video game or something. I like my alone time as well.

If it wasn't for me doing a 3 week trip abroad a month from now, I would probably be putting more effort to meeting girls. Would probably be doing more day approaches and such. But that's not my focus right now, I'm looking forward to my trip, and in my spare time I workout, read, and look for other ways to improve myself.

I might be rambling a bit, but if there is one point I am trying to make is that you should learn to enjoy your company more than the company of any other person, girls especially. I have some wicked friends that I've had some wicked times with and wouldn't trade for anything, but at the end of the day the most important company you have that will always be there for you is yourself.

When you enjoy your own company, it's very difficult to be 'lonely'. Sure you need sex and/or emotional engagement of some sorts, but by building up your game you realize that it's always within your reach, it's just a matter if your willing to put a bit more effort towards it at that point in time. Perhaps girls just aren't your focus at that point in time, no big deal.

There's that saying some people look lonely but are not, while others don't look lonely but are actually lonely inside. The latter tends to apply to the average guy very often.

Post: #15

(02-12-2014 10:26 PM)thedude3737 Wrote:  

(02-12-2014 09:27 PM)Every10GivesMeA10 Wrote:  if this ends I'm gonna be a lonely fella

So what? Good. The fact that you fear your loneliness means you should do it.

Go to the gym, make some cash, see your friends. For every guy like you that fears loneliness there are 1,000 men that wish they were single.

During those moments of loneliness, cry. Let it all out. And then use that feeling to change your life for the better.

Exactly.

A bit of time by yourself is great for perspective.

Regroup and refocus.

Post: #16

(02-12-2014 09:27 PM)Every10GivesMeA10 Wrote:  she swore on her parents death that they only had a friendly conversation.

I want to dump her. I regret having stopped talking to other women when I got her. I should have had a back up girl by now. I love the feeling of a girl cooking for me, always a girl around but if this ends I'm gonna be a lonely fella

Fact is, she would disgrace her dead parents to lie to you. I know, it seems unbelievable, but many Americhicks pull a line like this. It's sick.

Regardless, she's disrespecting you, and gets off on watching you squirm over it.

And to make it granular, you said: "She has mostly guy friends." .. Maybe the biggest tell off an untrustable girl for an LTR.

And her friend who came onto you before was probably in on the whole thing all along, this is the shit-test from hell that many girls will pull.

They plan games, you play abandonment, Game over.

Post: #17

Cr33pin,
You are cracking me up man! Can't wait to hear your stories from the Phils. I'm sure you must have quiete a few juicy ones. Lol

OP,
Dump her. Stop thinking about her. Book a ticket to a PP (Pussy Paradise) such as Thailand, Philippines, DR or Colombia. When you get there you will not only be blown away by the talent but mostly by the quality and attitude of girls that this girl will be forgotten in 1/10 of a nanosecond.

A whole new world will open up to you. Literally and figuratively.

Then start a thread here telling us about your trip.

After such a trip, I can guarantee you two things:
- you will never feel the same about western girls.
- you will never put a girl in a pedestal like you may be doing now.

(02-12-2014 09:29 PM)Cr33pin Wrote:  Make sure before you break up with her try all the nasty kinky shit with her you ever wanted to do. So what if she thinks your "creepy" cause you pee'd on her face while singing Cyndi Laupers "time after time"

Post: #18

(02-12-2014 09:29 PM)Every10GivesMeA10 Wrote:  tuthmosis its actually the bff that told her she saw the guy in a store. She's trying to hook her up with him probably.

Who cares who it is? Nearly every girl you will ever meet will have the same drama - SSDD. The only way to keep them focused on YOU, not the next bigger better deal, is to not give a shit. The person who CARES less about the relationship, who is less emotionally invested, who can move on more easily - that person has hand in the relationship. Every relationship is fundamentally a power struggle, and the individual in power is whoever likes the other person less.

Post: #19

(02-12-2014 09:19 PM)Every10GivesMeA10 Wrote:  we have been fighting a lot lately about stupid bs and last night I grabbed her phone and asked who she's texting. she smiled and said just people. I saw some texts from a former fwb of her but she kept deleting the conversation so I could only see one or two messages he sent.

If she's deleting the conversation so you can't see, she's either fucking him or she wants to. Dump her immediately.

(02-12-2014 09:19 PM)Every10GivesMeA10 Wrote:  I forbid her to talk to other guys or have guy friends since I don't believe men and women can be platonic friends. she agreed she would not be in contact with these guys. she has mostly guy friends so she talked to one or two childhood friends. but no ex fwbs

Girls who have mostly guy friends are bad news, they have mostly guy friends because other girls can't stand their bullshit.

Effectively forbidding your girl from speaking to anyone but a couple childhood friends is serious overkill, it comes off as needy, insecure and possessive and was bound to blow up in your face. If your relationship game was tight she wouldn't have wanted to keep her orbiters around in the first place, you wouldn't have even needed to forbid her from seeing them because they wouldn't have been a threat.

Post: #20

@OP... the fact that you're posting this question here tells me you already know what to do.

Post: #21

There's a fine line between not being stomped over and disrespected by having your girl 'talking' to guys, but then remain so aloof that that type of stuff doesn't bother you. I had a crazy ex who was starved for attention long ago, my first real LTR, and that went up in flames because I was raging w/ jealousy. I like thinking anything a girl does is provoked by me because they're so reactionary, they feed off emotions. Don't feed them.

I would personally not 'forbid' her talking to guys. I would merely very nonchalantly let her know that certain behavior would have consequences, as I will always have many options and those guys are very likely not as good as me. I can remain happy, she likely will not. That's just the belief I have.

Anyway, it seems like this girl is an attention whore at her core anyway, and I would not deal with that. You can do better.

Post: #22

Let's break it down:

-You're afraid of being alone, so you've been putting up with bad behavior on her part in order not to lose her.

-Her shadiness with the phone is just the tip of the iceberg my friend. I have been there before and should have walked.

-Just because a girl cooks and cleans, does not mean she's LTR material. Loyalty is #1. She's not loyal.

-You're posting on the forum because deep down you know you should dump her, but seeing our responses will validate that gut wrenching feeling you have. That's good, it's what the forum is for.

-You may get lonely, but that's okay. Listen to me closely....

You will never make real progress as a man, until you are comfortable and content with being alone. Real strength comes from within, not from the constant female companion beside you, or your friends.

Keeping it real, I used to struggle with the fear of being alone. Absolutely hated it and always had to have a girl in my bed every night.

When I hit rock fucking bottom and was living in my car and facing disaster after disaster that I realized that my fear of being alone was the catalyst for much of my problem.

I decided to use the loneliness to examine myself and get my shit together and only after that, was I able to pull myself up out of the gutter.

I think you're a smart guy and you'll make the best move for You and You only, which is to dump her ass immediately and without fanfare.

Good luck and keep your head up.

Post: #23

(02-12-2014 09:19 PM)Every10GivesMeA10 Wrote:  I forbid her to talk to other guys or have guy friends since I don't believe men and women can be platonic friends. she agreed she would not be in contact with these guys. she has mostly guy friends so she talked to one or two childhood friends. but no ex fwbs

Totally the wrong approach, man.

Actions speak louder than words, especially to a girl coming from a guy. "Forbidding" a girl to do anything doesn't work, you have to A: be awesome and distant enough for her to perpetually be trying to win your favor and attention, and B: indirectly punishing her with disinterest and unavailability when she's doing things you disapprove of.

Verbally explaining "I don't want you to do X for Z reasons" will not ever work.

Break up cleanly, move on to greener pastures.

Want the next one to be more loyal to you? Constantly be (subtly) threatening her with the possibility of you finding pussy/love elsewhere. Step up your fashion even in casual situations, hit the gym harder than ever, socialize/schmooze more with both girls and guys when you're out together.

Post: #24

(02-13-2014 12:37 AM)Christian McQueen Wrote:  You will never make real progress as a man, until you are comfortable and content with being alone. Real strength comes from within, not from the constant female companion beside you, or your friends.

I was going to say the something very similar.

Well put.

In fact, I'd go as far as to say that being afraid of breaking up with someone because you don't want to be alone is a good sign that you should break up with her...just so you have to face that fear. Don't put yourself in a position where you depend on the presence of a woman, or anyone. It's recipe for disaster.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #25

From reading your post, I'm making these observations:

1. "I grabbed her phone to see what she was doing, who she was texting."

This is not how it's done, man. If this is your GF, there should be some level of trust and respect there between the two of you. You don't grab a phone out of some chick's hand like that to see who she's texting. That is not a way to communicate a man who is in control.

It communicates insecurity and neediness. Which is not controlling the masculine frame you need to project.

You need to come with the attitude (from the beginning of the relationship) that YOU are the prize. If she's not happy to be with you, then show her the door. If you're "fighting" to keep this girl's attention, you've already lost. Sorry, but I have to say what I think. Once a girls loses respect for you, which she has done, it is almost impossible to regain it. Perdeu, cara. You lost.

The most powerful negotiating position in the world is being able to WALK AWAY and MEAN IT. You can't fake it. You've got to be ready to give her walking papers and mean it.

2. When women let you know on the sly that they have "male friends", it's a shit test/power move to see how you react. Women will constantly test you, in every way. These little tests are designed to see if you are maintaining your masculine frame. Repeated failures of these tests mean you will eventually lose her respect.

And if she's injecting "male friends" between you two, then clearly she's trying to let you know that she's got potential fuck buddies lined up if you piss her off. Sorry, but the truth.

Bottom line: disengage and move on. Chalk it up to experience. I and dozens of other guys here have been in this situation when we were younger, and the only way to learn is by experience.

No big deal, man.