Post: #1

I graduated from university at the end of January. I spent nearly nine years studying for my BA, splitting my time between formal academic study and study/learning to run a business in China. I graduated without fear of lacking employment, because I've learned how to run a successful business in China and make hand over fist.

Unfortunately, my plan to head over to China soon after graduating to get busy earning money has imploded. My university wasted time getting me my diploma because of several clerical errors and I had to wait an extra three weeks for it. My contact in China who was getting me a work visa then told me that it was going to take another three to five weeks to get me the invitation letter I need to apply for my visa here in Canada.

I initially went to visit family in Canada, immediately after graduating. I spent a week seeing my parents, then a few days with my sister and brother in a different city and then spent a week in Toronto seeing family and old friends.

It was about a week ago that I discovered that due to delays, I wouldn't be able to fly to China until about one month before my sister's wedding at the end of April. No matter how successful my first month in China could be, I'd end up lose money, because I'd need to fly back within 30 days and a round trip will cost at least $1,400. It takes me about 8 months to start pulling down $3-4000 a month in China. The first couple months are always low earners as I build clients.

Even if I broke even on the first month, when you enter the country on a work visa, you need to change it to a Residency permit soon after, which means that your passport is not in your control for a little while after you land, which could get me into trouble if I didn't have it back in time to fly back to Canada for my sister's April wedding. So going to China before the wedding is a no-go.

So now, having spent most of my money on tuition, I'm camped out at my parent's house, with just enough cash on hand to get started in China when I arrive.

Problems:
I'm bored out of my mind. It's -20C most days and my parent's city is barely a step above a trailer park in a lot of ways. Well meaning, but very trashy people. I spent my childhood here and have done everything I could to stay away since.

I'm applying for jobs just to kill time, but since I won't be around long enough to take any jobs that I'm actually qualified for, I'm stuck pursuing jobs that I could have gotten with just a high school diploma.

My mother loves cooking, and while her food is generally good, it's super boring. I love cooking too and it's one of my hobbies. My parents live very cheaply and if I want to cook for pleasure, I'd have to spend my own money, because I won't enjoy cooking with frozen vegetables and little scraps of frozen meat.

As well, my mother loves cooking so much that she'd prefer to cook dinner every night and let me "help out" by dealing with the dishes. So as long as I stay here, I'm stuck eating her food. My mother loves cooking with onions, which I personally find disgusting when they are fried into a wet, slimy mess. I'm not a picky eater and this is the only thing that I don't like to eat, but my mother loves frying her onions senseless so much, that she puts them in nearly every meal she cooks.

She knows about my dislike, but doesn't care. My parents have always had a strong policy about eating whatever food is offered for dinner, and despite how picky they both are (they won't want to eat 75% of what I and my friends eat), they don't care about my preferences. For me, this means that I have to gag down about 75% of the food that I eat, a process that sustains me physically, but is completely joyless.

If I want to attend my own graduation ceremony, I'll have to stay with my parents for a full three months, which is too bad, because it would be nice to properly commemorate a degree that I spent 9 years earning.

I also have access to my parent's vehicle, but only when they don't need it, which is every morning, and off and on every evening, except for most weekends.

Being almost 28 years old, I'm really very used to living on my own, but finding myself stranded at my parents house, I can't justify going out very often to eat or renting my own place to live or even purchasing a month supply of groceries, as I've got just enough money saved up to get started in China.

I've loved living and working in China, always have a great time. In the US, where I went to university, I just left behind lots of friends and a budgeted, but enjoyable lifestyle.



I'm super pissed about being stuck here for the next two months, just because my sister decided to plan a wedding a time of year that was convenient to her but not me, but I'm not even sure who to be mad at. Finishing my education, while preserving just enough money to get started on life again afterwards has been a carefully executed plan and while it hasn't been ruined, it's delay is costing me money, certainly more money that my sister is personally investing in her own wedding.

Logistics for gaming are terrible, because the local women are uneducated white trash for the most part and I can't afford to go out. I definitely can't bring the ladies back to my place.

I'm afraid that I'm acting entitled, but part of the reason I'm so pissed is because I don't have trouble finding work. When I'm not in school paying tuition, I always earn plenty of money, because I've worked hard to build competitive skills and I'm good at finding employment.

So, my current situation is based on logistics more than me wanting something I haven't earned yet.

While I feel fortunate to have parents who are letting me stay with them rent free and are feeding me free of charge, I still can't help but be frustrated with my temporary situation.

tl;dr: Can't leave for China to start work until my sister gets married at the end of April. Stuck staying with my parents eating bland, unappetizing food and bored out of my mind thanks to -20C weather. Frustrated. Little to no money, because I can't afford to dig into my nest egg, which is just enough money to get started in China, once I finally fly over after my sister's wedding.



Any suggestions? Am I being too bitchy? How to kill these two to three months without going insane?

Post: #2

You sound very childish is my first thought.

Then I saw you're 28 and fucking around in uni for 9 years.

Jesus christ man, if I were your parents I'd kick your ass out.

Show some gratitude that they are letting you stay with them and are feeding you.

Get on Fiverr and find odd jobs online to make cash.

Go get in shape.

Man, I would love to live rent free for 4 months and have no bills and not even need to worry about cooking.

Post: #3

Dude, it's your sister's wedding - of course she is going to make it on a date that's convenient for her.

I had to live with my parents for quite a while at a similar age and they cooked the same bland boring food (part of it I think is the frugality of their generation, which is something that should be admired) To jazz it up a bit, I started cooking with Mum. She liked the company and learned how to actually use herbs/spices in cooking.

The girls around town are white trash? White trash girls are some of the easiest lays... you won't be proud of it, but when life gives you lemons...

Post: #4

I've been "stranded" at home for the past year, and I won't be able to peace out to Vietnam until June, whereas I had originally planned on leaving in January. Shit happens. My hometown is dull as can be too, but like MikeCF said, be happy you have a place to stay rent free. Not to be a dick but I have read a lot of your posts and this seems like something I would expect to see more on some chick's Facebook wall.

That being said, I can only tell you what I have been doing. Start pipelining girls, brush up on your Mandarin/Wu/Cantonese, whatever. Try to convince your parents to let you cook once a week. Pick things that they would normally make, but find recipes or ways to tweak it that would suit more refined taste buds. My grandmother cooks traditional greasy southern American food, which can get tiresome when you eat it every meal. Changing someone's taste in food who is set in their ways can be frustrating.

Also, I would skip your diploma ceremony. One of the biggest anticlimaxes of recent memory for me.

Just suck it up for a few months and hit it twice as hard when you get to China.

Post: #5

^ Baby Boomers are resistant to change.

I bet suits lives in an area like where I grew up. Putting ketchup on a hamburger or eating some taco seasoning on taco night is as about as edgy as they'll go.

I was "stranded" at home for about 6 months. I was supposed to ship off for military training but hurt my shoulder in an accident. Had to wait to finish my training to start college.

I hit the gym and read.

It was pretty awesome.

There is so much information available....Go buy a used Kindle and start reading classic books for free (copyright is expired).

Read a real book a week and watch what happens to your mind.

Post: #6

Skip your sisters wedding. MOB.

Post: #7

Suits, you're not a newbie. Suck it up. Stop whining. Spring is around the corner, so it's going to warm up and be beautiful. You already know what you're going to be doing, so just come up with 1 or 2 short term projects. Learn to make something. Anything around the house need fixing? Do it or learn how. Play some video games. Exercise. Read. Improve your Mandarin. Think of business ideas. Yes you are being bitchy. This forum is full to the brim of ways and means of getting what you want. Use it.

Post: #8

But seriously,

Although you're in a less than ideal situation, you're not in a death sentence. 4 months in relation to an entire lifespan is negligible.

To answer your question; I'd suggest the book reading challenge. If you're going to be inside all day, why not expand your mind?

Post: #9

I've always thought a noble activity in retirement would be to read the Chinese classics in the original and do calligraphy.
Though we had a saying in grad school: you can learn all the languages in the world, or classical Chinese.

Post: #10

Want something to do? Be an epimp for a few months and stack some cash.

Post: #11

(03-04-2014 08:09 PM)Rutting Elephant Wrote:  I've always thought a noble activity in retirement would be to read the Chinese classics in the original and do calligraphy.
Though we had a saying in grad school: you can learn all the languages in the world, or classical Chinese.

my god, the metaphors ...

Post: #12

Realistically you'll probably go a bit crazy.

As such...

Relish the destruction of a certain part of your soul. Become more in touch with the darkness in a way that others are afraid - this will make you better equipped to understand the inconsistencies and the chaos of a world gone mad.

You can work out, learn, and grow as much as possible, but four months in a soulless environment will cause even the most stoic of people to go a bit mad. If you've no other choice, accept it and own it, and see what you find on the other side. You'll crawl back into the light four months later more intelligent and wise.

Post: #13

(03-04-2014 07:52 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  ^ Baby Boomers are resistant to change.

I bet suits lives in an area like where I grew up. Putting ketchup on a hamburger or eating some taco seasoning on taco night is as about as edgy as they'll go.

I was "stranded" at home for about 6 months. I was supposed to ship off for military training but hurt my shoulder in an accident. Had to wait to finish my training to start college.

I hit the gym and read.

It was pretty awesome.

There is so much information available....Go buy a used Kindle and start reading classic books for free (copyright is expired).

Read a real book a week and watch what happens to your mind.

When I was working overseas I would try to come back for a month once a year. I would stay with my family.

It can be a little shocking when you are used to living alone. I also got bored quickly sitting around spending time with family. I would try and do some projects around their house that they wouldn't be able to do on their own.

I agree the post doesn't come off well, but I suspect the long ass frigid winter that never seems to end and his excitement to getting started out in the "real world" has him impatient.

Suits, I suggest helping out your parents with little projects around the house and get your head on straight by checking this whiny thinking. You can't tell me there isn't anything you can be working on that will help your transition into your new career. Whether it be books or stuff info you can get online.

You should never be bored because you have free time. In fact, you should never have free time if you really think about it.

Post: #14

Get a bunch of good books and read them, write any reflections you have. Improve a language through online materials, or start learning a new one.

Also, 'high school diploma jobs' might be dull at times but they will get you a bit more cash for when you head abroad and they can be useful to pass the time...if you're lucky you'll work alongside cool people and come away with some memories.

Post: #15

I know how it is man. Its shitty to live with your parents.

You can't take it out on your parents. Its great they're letting you live there and cooking food for you, but once you've tasted real independence it feels like your under house arrest. Even though its not stoic and manly, sometimes you've just gotta bitch about it a little bit to make yourself feel better.

That being said its only 4 months, and its a definite amount of time before you're out. You can improve yourself using any of the previous suggestions. Living for an open-ended time period at home without a clear plan to move out will send you into a real existential crisis.

Post: #16

This sound's similar to me. The big difference is I'll be at my parents place until I finish my degree, upwards of a year and a half. Shouldn't be too bad.

Read a ton.
Workout five days a week.
Get out of the house and work on your game.
Make up for lost time with your family.

And don't look at this as you being stranded anywhere. It could be a lot worse. You could be hipster with an expensive BS degree working as a coffee bitch with no prospects

Post: #17

Hit the gym.
Go on youtube and watch video for body workouts.
Odd jobs on kijiji and craigslist.
Being fluent in 2 languages opens you up to be able to do translation work. (I'm assuming you can read, speak and write Chinese)

Post: #18

(03-04-2014 08:09 PM)Rutting Elephant Wrote:  I've always thought a noble activity in retirement would be to read the Chinese classics in the original and do calligraphy.
Though we had a saying in grad school: you can learn all the languages in the world, or classical Chinese.

my god, the metaphors ...

Post: #19

Lots of vaginitis and entitled Millennial bullshit on this thread.

If you're so afraid of being bored, why don't all you guys living at home move out?

Make you own way in the world. Suffer. Struggle. Conquer.

It's because you fear being uncomfortable more than being bored.

If that's the case, you have no right to complain.

Be grateful that you're being kept like a pet and don't bite the hand that feeds you.

Or become a lion and find your own food.

Choice is yours.

Post: #20

Like Mike said, while this may seem like a shitty situation, look at the bright side: No bills and plenty of free time.

I'm in the same boat as you and I've written most of what I do below.

Work

You're on a good start with applying for some small time jobs. While it's not something anyone wants to do after graduating college, it's reality for many. It's a good way to make some $$ (especially since you have no bills) and it keeps your sanity.

If you're looking to do something specific in China, maybe set aside some time to prepare for any business ventures or things of that nature. This should be your main priority.

Also, I've been working on my blog. If you've ever had any interest in starting a blog or website, now's a good time to start as you will have plenty of time to get the ball rolling


Hobbies

Reading is a great one. I'm doing a 52 books in 52 weeks challenge and am off to a strong start. Again, if you're looking to start some sort of venture than read books related to that. Otherwise read some classics or helpful non-fiction.

Learn a language or an instrument. Don't do it "just because" do it because you want to. Spend 1-2 hours every day on it and you will have some proficiency in a few months time.

Getting Laid

Ah, nothing like trying to get laid in a shitty town where nothing happens. Online dating (POF and OKC) here is your best bet. I don't know what type of girls are in your town, but there probably aren't too many cuties at Starbucks or the club (if there even is one).

Here's the deal. If there isn't much to do in your town and most people are trash, there's gotta be some girls out there who feel the same way looking for a decent guy.

Whenever in a shitty situation (although there are many shittier things in this world than living at home) you have to make the best of it. Let no time go to waste. This is time you will probably never have again, cherish it.

Post: #21

The most important thing for you to do now is the following:

1. Stop complaining. Suck up the pain and deal with it. We've all been through it here. Learn to revel in your suffering.

2. You need to establish and maintain a strict daily schedule. A regimen. That means getting up at a fixed hour every day, and filling your day with healthy, productive things like working out, running, applying for jobs, reading, writing, etc.

3. Purchase and read the following books:

The Imitation of Christ (by Thomas a Kempis). This is a spiritual classic and fantastic guide to worldly wisdom.

Autobiography (by St. Augustine). The most sincere work ever written.

Spiritual Exercises (by Ignatius Loyola). Another spiritual classic.

If these books don't do it for you, find something else, but make sure it is positive, inspiring, and introspective.

4. Avoid negative people, braggarts, or others who try to put you down. You are going through a tough time and don't need that shit in your life.

5. Express love for your parents. We all we got, man. If you don't show love now, you may never get a chance in the future.

6. Avoid excessive time on the internet. Try to limit yourself to a certain amount of time per day. The internet can be a huge time suck, as we all know.

7. Eat a good diet all the time. Your mental health is connected to your physical health.

8. Do not relax your grooming standards. Shave, dress well, and put constant effort into your appearance. Once you start slacking off on this, you're done.

9. Get started on these things I told you to do today. Check back in with us here on this thread in 7 days, and let us know how the first week has gone. This is important. I'm marking my calendar, Suits. Don't fuck this up. I want to hear an update from you on this thread next week.
Keeping regular contact and reporting on your progress will be good for you.

All right, then. You've got your marching orders. Now move...

Post: #22

I understand what you are saying, but honestly you could be in a much worse position. I was recently 'stranded' in a third world country with very little money and no passport. Perspective. On the bright side you have a lot of time to improve different aspects of your life while you are at home.

Some ideas:
-hit the gym/practice a martial art
-read
-start a musical instrument
-meditate
-hit up any girls you can that aren't in hibernation or 'uneducated white trash'
-draw or do some other type of visual art
-start a new language
-do anything you can outside of China to get yourself more ready for business once you arrive there
-play chess
-start to learn a computer programming language (or another one if you already have prior experience with one)
-write
-anything else that seems interesting and keeps you moving forward in some way in some aspect of your life

Honestly there are countless options of things to do. Being in a certain location/situation is overrated as far as it's impact on how someone can improve their life. Pick one or two things to work on and get busy. The time will go by faster than you think.

Post: #23

(03-04-2014 08:45 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  If you're so afraid of being bored, why don't all you guys living at home move out?

Make you own way in the world. Suffer. Struggle. Conquer.

The post was about ideas to make the next 4 months, before moving out, into productive time in spite of surrounding circumstances...I don't see how that's related to a fear of boredom or an unwillingness to move out.

Post: #24

(03-04-2014 08:45 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  Lots of vaginitis and entitled Millennial bullshit on this thread.

If you're so afraid of being bored, why don't all you guys living at home move out?

Make you own way in the world. Suffer. Struggle. Conquer.

It's because you fear being uncomfortable more than being bored.

If that's the case, you have no right to complain.

Be grateful that you're being kept like a pet and don't bite the hand that feeds you.

Or become a lion and find your own food.

Choice is yours.

Maybe you should take a break.

Post: #25

I'm at home now. Have been for 2 weeks until I find a job that can support me. In the meantime, I'm going further with Chinese, auditing math courses at the local university (stats is invaluable), and trying to niild a new compuyer (totally amatuer). My town is dull as shit but there are literally no distractions that way.