Post: #1

I just posted this on my blog, but I'm curious to see what else you guys could add to the list.

I think false expectations is one reason men may struggle with women to the extent that some do.

What else can you guys add?

ARTICLE

One thing that many men struggle with, as did I for some time, is looking for women to fulfill certain needs that they will never be able to fulfill. When we as men get disappointed in women for not being what we desire, then this can lead to depression, frustration and unrealistic expectations.

I was looking back on my past relationships the other day and it occurred to me that any time I was disappointed in the girl, it was usually because I was trying to get her to fulfill a need in me that she simply couldn't. It wasn't because the girls were stupid, it was because it wasn't and isn't in their nature to fulfill those needs.

Here is a list of 5 things that men should never look for in women. By NOT looking for these traits and expecting these attributes in women, you will be happier, more satisfied in your relationships because you won't have false expectations and you will be a better, more well-rounded man.

5. Never Expect Deep Intellectual Conversations With Women

This is a BIG one for me. I enjoy in-depth debate and intellectual stimulation through discussion of a variety of topics including politics, finances and business, just to name a few. In the past, I would try to have these types of discussions with women, including my girlfriends, and let me tell you, what a waste of time.

99.9% of women simply aren't thinking on that wave length, have no desire to discuss such topics and to be frank, aren't versed well enough to provide intellectual stimulation.

You know who is good to discuss deep topics with? Your male friends. (and if you can't with them, maybe it's time to extend your network)

Some of my fondest memories have been made here, at the Beverly Hills Grand Havana Room, a private members only cigar club, where men can be men, have great conversations and have that need fulfilled.

PIC

and the waitresses aren't too shabby either...

PIC

If you're like me and crave these type of conversations, find time to meet with your guy friends, have a cigar and talk. It's an enriching experience and you'll be better off knowing that women will not fulfill this need, so it'll save you hassle, disappointment and false expectations by knowing this.

4. Never Expect Women To Love You Unconditionally Like Your Mother

Another big one, that I struggled with for sometime, was expecting a girl to love me in the manner that my mother does.

Foolish mistake.

Women love CONDITIONALLY, while a good mother will love UN-conditionally.

Note the major difference between the two. It will save you frustration more than you can imagine, if you realize that a girl you're in a relationship with, may indeed love you, but make no mistake, it's conditional.

Part of becoming a man is seeing the world and people for who they ARE, and not living with rose-colored glasses over your eyes. With women, understand that they're for the most part, incapable of loving unconditionally. Don't get upset about this fact: it is what it is. Once you know the game, then you can play.

There are good women out there who will love you the best they know how. I've had girls really love me/are 'in love' with me and for all intents and purposes they do, however, have you ever wondered how a girl can say "I just don't love you anymore"? Shocking right? Because their 'love' for you is based off of feelings and NOT reality. If their feelings sway in a different direction so goes their love.

Know the difference and you'll save yourself unneeded heartache.

3. Never Expect Women To Solve Your Problems

This is tricky. There have been women at certain points in my life (when I was fucked financially and homeless) who did lend a helping hand (in minor ways) and kept me from complete ruin, however, overall, I have never benefited from seeking a woman's help in solving my problems.

Don't RELY on a woman to make your career, keep you afloat or be your inspiration for success. Rely on YOURSELF and you'll be a better man for it.

While I completely understand shit can hit the fan and sometimes a women can help you, it's best to build self-reliance so that you can stand tall and proud as a man who handles his business. If you constantly rely on women to bail you out and take the reins, you will castrate your self-respect and eventually she will lose respect for you too. Guaranteed.

Lastly, you may think a woman is solving your problems, but she might just turn INTO the problem. Like Jay says...

VIDEO

2. Never Expect Women To 'Complete You'

Get the concept of soulmates out of your head. It's bullshit.

Gulp. Hard to swallow, right?

You know who's your soulmate? Any girl that checks off the desirable traits on your 'list' and who is moldable as a woman. Fact.

One reason many men mope through life depressed is because they haven't found 'the one'. Yea no shit, because she does not exist.

It's not about finding 'the one', it's about you finding happiness, fulfillment and a purpose on your OWN. Once you can find peace and happiness on your own, then you will be able to have healthy, satisfying relationships with women because you won't have unrealistic expectations of her to 'complete you'.

Do you know why it's so dangerous to go through life expecting a woman to 'complete you'? You find a girl who you THINK completes you and you're 'happy' for a while, then it turns into your biggest nightmare and depression hits you like a ton of bricks, because as the woman goes, so goes your 'happiness'.

Read closely: If you get your overall happiness from a woman, you're allowing your happiness to be dictated by someone else. Does that sound like what a man does? To give his Happiness Power away to a creature who is emotional? It's foolish to the 9th degree.

How do I know this? Because I've experienced it.

I used to be TERRIBLE about building my life around whoever I was dating. Terrible mistake. Have your own identity, find happiness on your own and don't expect that a woman should 'complete you'. Complete yourself, THEN look to build healthy relationships. Thank me later.

PIC

1. Never Expect Women To Behave Logically

Many men experience extreme frustration because they expect women to behave logically and rationally.

Wrong.

Women do not behave logically or rationally. Despite what society may say today, women and men are very different. How we are wired compared to them etc. I won't get into it, but you know what I'm talking about.

Why do you think Game works so well on women? Because it allows men to turn off the logic switch in our brains and see how to communicate with women to get them to do what we want. Isn't it interesting how much of Game techniques go against what you would EXPECT to work?

"But but but I sent her a long text message telling her I like her and inviting her to dinner! Why hasn't she responded. I was clear that I LIKE her..." (scratches head)

Because women don't think like we do and once you establish that within yourself you will see your success with women skyrocket. Get out of your head. Turn of the logic switch. Realize that women will always do things that will stump you, but that Game evens the playing field. It gives you the tools to be successful with women.

Stop expecting women to behave logically and rationally and save yourself some major headaches. Instead see women for what they are: creatures to accompany you on this journey called life, enhance your already great life, provide sexual pleasure and reproduce your seed.

Finally, none of these points I've made make women bad people. It's okay that they don't fulfill those needs. I love women and while I enjoy deep intellectual conversations with friends, I sure as hell don't want to see you cats in heels and makeup. Women have their place and the key is knowing what that is and enjoying them for exactly who and what they are and nothing else.

Post: #2

- Never expect women to create anything lasting (other than life itself).

They pick up what they can, add their own feelings, steal, hook up with, but they never (well 98% dont) create and truly own anything. Get used to it.

Post: #3

Great stuff, Christian. But I want to expand on #1 by reiterating some things I've said elsewhere:

1. Never Expect Women To Behave Logically

The reason a lot of men expect this is because with so many women in the professional world, we assume their brains on the job carry over into their personal lives.

It doesn't.

This is where I went wrong with my ex-wife, and I'd like to save guys from having to deal with what I did. She was smart as hell, ran an entire computer dept., and was a financial whiz. But when it came to making basic life decisions she was so woefully off-the-mark it basically sent us both downhill. Logic went out the window and what replaced it was what you might call "astrology" thinking -- she made decisions because they felt right.

So why did I let her make such decisions? Because at the time (before we were all her discussing this stuff) I thought "Well, she's so smart about A, B, and C, she must be right. My instincts must be wrong so I'll defer to her."

And this, my friends, is what unraveled my life. She even admits it. Don't fall into this trap.

Post: #4

(06-17-2014 11:36 PM)Christian McQueen Wrote:  I just posted this on my blog, but I'm curious to see what else you guys could add to the list.

I think false expectations is one reason men may struggle with women to the extent that some do.

What else can you guys add?

ARTICLE

One thing that many men struggle with, as did I for some time, is looking for women to fulfill certain needs that they will never be able to fulfill. When we as men get disappointed in women for not being what we desire, then this can lead to depression, frustration and unrealistic expectations.

I was looking back on my past relationships the other day and it occurred to me that any time I was disappointed in the girl, it was usually because I was trying to get her to fulfill a need in me that she simply couldn't. It wasn't because the girls were stupid, it was because it wasn't and isn't in their nature to fulfill those needs.

Here is a list of 5 things that men should never look for in women. By NOT looking for these traits and expecting these attributes in women, you will be happier, more satisfied in your relationships because you won't have false expectations and you will be a better, more well-rounded man.

5. Never Expect Deep Intellectual Conversations With Women

This is a BIG one for me. I enjoy in-depth debate and intellectual stimulation through discussion of a variety of topics including politics, finances and business, just to name a few. In the past, I would try to have these types of discussions with women, including my girlfriends, and let me tell you, what a waste of time.

99.9% of women simply aren't thinking on that wave length, have no desire to discuss such topics and to be frank, aren't versed well enough to provide intellectual stimulation.

You know who is good to discuss deep topics with? Your male friends. (and if you can't with them, maybe it's time to extend your network)

Some of my fondest memories have been made here, at the Beverly Hills Grand Havana Room, a private members only cigar club, where men can be men, have great conversations and have that need fulfilled.

PIC

and the waitresses aren't too shabby either...

PIC

If you're like me and crave these type of conversations, find time to meet with your guy friends, have a cigar and talk. It's an enriching experience and you'll be better off knowing that women will not fulfill this need, so it'll save you hassle, disappointment and false expectations by knowing this.

4. Never Expect Women To Love You Unconditionally Like Your Mother

Another big one, that I struggled with for sometime, was expecting a girl to love me in the manner that my mother does.

Foolish mistake.

Women love CONDITIONALLY, while a good mother will love UN-conditionally.

Note the major difference between the two. It will save you frustration more than you can imagine, if you realize that a girl you're in a relationship with, may indeed love you, but make no mistake, it's conditional.

Part of becoming a man is seeing the world and people for who they ARE, and not living with rose-colored glasses over your eyes. With women, understand that they're for the most part, incapable of loving unconditionally. Don't get upset about this fact: it is what it is. Once you know the game, then you can play.

There are good women out there who will love you the best they know how. I've had girls really love me/are 'in love' with me and for all intents and purposes they do, however, have you ever wondered how a girl can say "I just don't love you anymore"? Shocking right? Because their 'love' for you is based off of feelings and NOT reality. If their feelings sway in a different direction so goes their love.

Know the difference and you'll save yourself unneeded heartache.

3. Never Expect Women To Solve Your Problems

This is tricky. There have been women at certain points in my life (when I was fucked financially and homeless) who did lend a helping hand (in minor ways) and kept me from complete ruin, however, overall, I have never benefited from seeking a woman's help in solving my problems.

Don't RELY on a woman to make your career, keep you afloat or be your inspiration for success. Rely on YOURSELF and you'll be a better man for it.

While I completely understand shit can hit the fan and sometimes a women can help you, it's best to build self-reliance so that you can stand tall and proud as a man who handles his business. If you constantly rely on women to bail you out and take the reins, you will castrate your self-respect and eventually she will lose respect for you too. Guaranteed.

Lastly, you may think a woman is solving your problems, but she might just turn INTO the problem. Like Jay says...

VIDEO

2. Never Expect Women To 'Complete You'

Get the concept of soulmates out of your head. It's bullshit.

Gulp. Hard to swallow, right?

You know who's your soulmate? Any girl that checks off the desirable traits on your 'list' and who is moldable as a woman. Fact.

One reason many men mope through life depressed is because they haven't found 'the one'. Yea no shit, because she does not exist.

It's not about finding 'the one', it's about you finding happiness, fulfillment and a purpose on your OWN. Once you can find peace and happiness on your own, then you will be able to have healthy, satisfying relationships with women because you won't have unrealistic expectations of her to 'complete you'.

Do you know why it's so dangerous to go through life expecting a woman to 'complete you'? You find a girl who you THINK completes you and you're 'happy' for a while, then it turns into your biggest nightmare and depression hits you like a ton of bricks, because as the woman goes, so goes your 'happiness'.

Read closely: If you get your overall happiness from a woman, you're allowing your happiness to be dictated by someone else. Does that sound like what a man does? To give his Happiness Power away to a creature who is emotional? It's foolish to the 9th degree.

How do I know this? Because I've experienced it.

I used to be TERRIBLE about building my life around whoever I was dating. Terrible mistake. Have your own identity, find happiness on your own and don't expect that a woman should 'complete you'. Complete yourself, THEN look to build healthy relationships. Thank me later.

PIC

1. Never Expect Women To Behave Logically

Many men experience extreme frustration because they expect women to behave logically and rationally.

Wrong.

Women do not behave logically or rationally. Despite what society may say today, women and men are very different. How we are wired compared to them etc. I won't get into it, but you know what I'm talking about.

Why do you think Game works so well on women? Because it allows men to turn off the logic switch in our brains and see how to communicate with women to get them to do what we want. Isn't it interesting how much of Game techniques go against what you would EXPECT to work?

"But but but I sent her a long text message telling her I like her and inviting her to dinner! Why hasn't she responded. I was clear that I LIKE her..." (scratches head)

Because women don't think like we do and once you establish that within yourself you will see your success with women skyrocket. Get out of your head. Turn of the logic switch. Realize that women will always do things that will stump you, but that Game evens the playing field. It gives you the tools to be successful with women.

Stop expecting women to behave logically and rationally and save yourself some major headaches. Instead see women for what they are: creatures to accompany you on this journey called life, enhance your already great life, provide sexual pleasure and reproduce your seed.

Finally, none of these points I've made make women bad people. It's okay that they don't fulfill those needs. I love women and while I enjoy deep intellectual conversations with friends, I sure as hell don't want to see you cats in heels and makeup. Women have their place and the key is knowing what that is and enjoying them for exactly who and what they are and nothing else.

This is a good intro to game.

I read a lot about how guys have trouble converting their friends from bluepill to redpill. The difficulty arises because of a conflict of frames. These points you outline are very good ones that could probably help some guys ease out of bluepill thinking.

Post: #5

Tying in with the intellectual conversation point is a lack of intellectual curiosity.

Men are much more likely to obtain knowledge without a clear end goal, while women often only want to learn to the extent it can immediately benefit them.

Post: #6

Never expect women to nurture you.

A good woman will nurture you when she can. She will cook for you (sometimes) and massage your aching muscles (sometimes).

But she has her own shit to do too. Learn how to cook some basic, healthy meals. Have a method developed for staying fit - the gym and ice baths, for example.

Rely on yourself to keep fit and healthy and have it be a nice plus when she can do so for you, sometimes.

Post: #7

A friend of mine should read this. He's basically looking for all 5 of the qualities you just listed here. He is in desperate need of some more red pills, the first one that I gave him hasn't really worked yet it seems.

Post: #8

the mother one helped me before. Forgot who said it, should rep that person

Post: #9

1). Never expect women to remain loyal.
Her hypergamic drive is, by its very nature, insatiable. Never forget that.

2).Never expect women to tell you want they want during sex or in any interaction.
A girl wants to be lead. She seethes with contempt when a man doesn't "just get it."

3).Never expect women to reminisce fondly of your past experiences with her.
Women can and will drop memories at the drop of a hat once she finds someone better. She may think about the past with you every now and then, if you left a big enough alpha imprint on her, but don't count on it. The term War Brides, comes to mind.

4).Never expect women to fully appreciate your sacrifice or investment in her.
She doesn't care about what it took to bed her or the struggles you had to overcome into becoming the man you are today. She only cares that you are that man, right now. In other words, she doesn't care about "potential", she only wants the finished product.
If anything, no sacrifice or investment in her will make her tingle harder for you.

5)Never expect a women's words to mean anything but always pay attention to her actions.
This has been said many times, but guys still don't get it. They secretly cling onto the hope that maybe women are noble and that they abide by their words like their brothers or fathers do. Nothing could be further from the truth. Her words hold as much worth as the wind that carries them away. Her actions, on the other hand, do carry weight.
She says, "I don't do anal." But later on, you 'accidentally' stick it in anyway and she turns into a ravishing sexual beast screaming at you to yank her hair harder.
She says, "I don't like trying new things." But later on, you find out she's never had public sex and you end up fucking her at a park right at midnight. You swear you felt like it was sticking your dick inside a waterfall.
She says, "I don't give bjs on first dates, sorry." But later on, as you're making out while fingering her, she slowly works her way to unzip your pants. She pulls your piece out and starts blowing like it was the last cock in the world.


Another thread dedicated to "What You Should Look For In Women" would be good also.

Post: #10

This is a very good list because most betas who cannot accept game when it it presented them, cannot accept it because they expect women to be soul mates and equal intellectual partners who will love them just like they want to love them. Most betas realize that game will get them sex, but they say they want a soul mate, but such a thing doesn't exist.

What could be added:

Never expect women to retain any sympathies if you have a depression or start crying. Women will not be glad if they are forced to calm you down and hold your hand if you have a moment of weakness. Women will resent you if you want to cry on their shoulder. Women will stop loving you if they are forced to say "There, there, it's going to be OK" Many betas expect girls to do this for them because many girls ask them this - to be pillows for crying. Man feel powerful in this moment and betas feel that in this time of weakness they have a chance to make a move on a girl which sometimes even works (although never for long and girls will hate the beta for this later as this is the true ugly manipulation). But what betas don't understand is that while they don't value girls for their strength, women value men for nothing but different expression of strength and nothing kills attraction faster then a man crying, displaying a defeatist attitude, expecting a woman to cheer him up, crying on shoulder and so on. Before becoming a womanizer you must become a man first and be 100% sure that such freakouts will never occur.

Never expect women to hold on to their values and have any moral integrity. Every value a woman claims to have can change if a powerful man pulls her that way. If a girl claims to be a devout christian who holds marriage sacred she may betray her values and marriage (never admitting to this however and coming up with thousands of justifications)if her husband is a weakling beta and a powerful alpha comes along while she is disgusted with husband. If a girl claims that she is a devout supporter for bisexual open relationships and agrees to participate in orgies with you it may change any second she meets a strong Muslim guy who asks her to be monogamous and traditional and wear a hijab. For a woman the morality lies solely on the strength of the man who expresses this morality to her. This is why Christianity needs a fairy tale about Jesus the ultimate boyfriend and son of God waiting for women in heaven - man can be mad to understand natural law and golden rule without it, but women need an alpha figure to accept any morals.

Again none of this makes women to be bad, but only if the society doesn't expect this from them. Animals are not bad for behaving like animals and women are not evil for behaving like women. The only evil happens when society expects women to behave on a level they are incapable of behaving - to behave like men.

Post: #11

#4 and #5 can both apply to plenty of guys as well.

Lots of guys are not interested in intellectual conversation. They would rather just talk about sports, TV shows (in a non intellectual way), and banging chicks. This failing is common to both genders. I am a university professor and work with a lot of smart women who can have intellectual conversations. Although, I will admit that they are almost always older and topics are generally limited to their areas of research. Hence, I agree with DOBA that such traits don't generally transfer into their non-work lives.

With regard to loving unconditionally, men don't do that either. Love is never unconditional, except generally in the case of a mother and her children. However, the latter is due to biological drives that cannot be replicated. People change, which can cause someone to fall out of love. Either because the person they were in love with changed into someone they could no longer love, or they themselves changed such that their current partner no longer meets their expectations for someone they love. Would you expect someone to still love you if you became obese, addicted to hard drugs, etc.?

I'm not trying to invalidate McQueen's points, so much as I am just trying to indicate that they come across as unnecessarily biased towards women in that they don't acknowledge the same traits exist in men.

Post: #12

Another one: Never expect a woman to lead the interaction.

It took me ages to realise this and it frustrated me no end when I was a beta. I would always think, "Girls have all the power because no man will say no to sex. So why don't they take the first step in initiating physical interaction?" A woman will almost never get physical, or really even open, first. As noted on his forum by many, she will give off tonnes of IOIs (e.g. stand near you, make eye contact, complain within ear shot that she wished guys had the balls to approach, etc.) but will never initiate.

Post: #13

(06-18-2014 02:11 AM)YoungBlood Wrote:  3).Never expect women to reminisce fondly of your past experiences with her.
Women can and will drop memories at the drop of a hat once she finds someone better. She may think about the past with you every now and then, if you left a big enough alpha imprint on her, but don't count on it. The term War Brides, comes to mind.

3 is so true.

This happens even when there's no dude in the picture.

Chick starts feeling emo, gets into a fight with you, and then totally forgets everything other than what's going on in that moment.

"What happened to the sweet love me and you had?" © Archie Hendrix.

WIA

Post: #14

Never expect her to sacrifice for you.

She may do it from time to time. But never expect it.

WIA

Post: #15

Here's a basic one:

Never Expect A Woman to NOT Flake

Post: #16

Never expect a good deed to slip unpunished.

Post: #17

Never expect a slutty woman to morph into an angel just because you're now in the picture. Never try to 'save a hoe'!

Never expect a modern day woman who is into casual dating to suddenly/automatically stop taking cock from other guys just because you're now in the picture. You're not the only person she's seeing, don't delude yourself! Someone else has been piping her for a much longer time so what makes you think she would give up that cock for yours?

Post: #18

(06-17-2014 11:36 PM)Christian McQueen Wrote:  Stop expecting women to behave logically and rationally and save yourself some major headaches. Instead see women for what they are: creatures to accompany you on this journey called life, enhance your already great life, provide sexual pleasure and reproduce your seed.

Finally, none of these points I've made make women bad people. It's okay that they don't fulfill those needs. I love women and while I enjoy deep intellectual conversations with friends, I sure as hell don't want to see you cats in heels and makeup. Women have their place and the key is knowing what that is and enjoying them for exactly who and what they are and nothing else.

#1 gets me everytime. The other i have down easily.. its just I think so logically and precise... no clue how to work with their irrational behavior..

Post: #19

Let's just get to the point underneath all of these: don't expect shit from a woman.

Don't expect her to put out because you have game. Don't expect her to show up because you made plans to meet. Don't expect her to be loyal to you just because you agreed to it at an altar. Don't expect her to call you because you fucked her really well (actually.. Maybe expect this one ha), and don't expect that just because she had fun the night before that she's not going to wake up the next day without slut-remorse.

Don't put the onus on her.

As a man, you are the one that needs to make it happen. Don't rely on girls for anything. That's just how it is.

You are the master of your own interpretations.

A woman will do whatever she can to satisfy her mercurial needs.

The moment you start expecting anything from a woman is the moment you put her in the driver's seat of your life.. An action that is, at it's lightest, fun or masturbatory, and at Its worst, possibly deadly.

A woman is only an animal, like a dog, and she has her limits. Don't let your pets drive your car.

Post: #20

Awesome. Although except for the first one, I would call this "5 things men should never look for in anyone but themselves"

A lot of these are not gender-specific, such as unconditional love and relying on somebody (men or women) to help you out.

Also, I've met more smart men than smart women, but still the majority of men are idiots regarding intellectual topics.

@Tuthmosis, can you make this sticky/must read for newbies?

Post: #21

Never expect a woman to have completely 'slut free' sexual history no matter how innocent she seems

Don't expect her to be honest about it either...

Post: #22

Never expect women to be consistent in their thoughts or actions (they are ruled by their emotions and how they feel in the moment).

Post: #23

I fully agree with the list OP but on the subject of 5...well my personal experience has shown me there are women with which you can hold good intellectual conversations with but the vast majority of these women are either:

Old
Fat
Have Social Issues

Or damaged goods in some other way. The point is these women try and make up for their issues by offering something else.

Post: #24

Don't expect women to be honest. Most men can own it when they fuck up, but never expect a woman to.

Even the douchiest guy will own the fact he fucked up when confronted and threatened. But a woman can never seem to own anything in which they are not painted in a good light.

Post: #25

Never expect a woman to not be dictated by her emotions.

Never expect a woman to stick around if she has a better option.