Post: #1

Guys, so I find myself going out with a nice 29 year old Eastern European girl on many date's and she wants a commitment out of me. There are really no problems in the "relationship" except for the fact that I can't quite get past her look. She is constantly messaging me, calling me, and sending naughty pics. While she has a smoking body (ex-college athlete) which i'd rate an 8.5 she has one thing that I find disturbing, and that is that one side of her face around cheek area has bad acne scars, we are talking about worse than Cameron Diaz (on left)

type of acne scars and they appear to be "permanent", which even the make-up can't fully conceal it. I asked her if it was a burn scar and she avoided the question. I am not sure how to bring up the theme of her seeing a plastic surgeon (don't think a dermatologist would be enough) without her becoming extremely upset as she already tries to cover the area with her hair and makeup all the time.
Therefore the face I can only generously give a 6. So, my question is have any of you guys dated girls with bad acne scars and how have you been able to overcome this? I know the saying go's "beauty is only skin deep" but this is something that also worries me a bit in public with her. How are you handling it with girls who you are considering taking to the next level, i.e., having a serious relationship (or should I try to break off contact as it will only get worse as she ages?). Thanks for any input.

Post: #2

No.

There's a few flaws in chicks I can't deal with:

-Acne
-Acne scars
-Ugly feet
-Stringy hair

Think about it this way: when a relationship first starts out you don't mind her flaws as much, but as it progresses the flaws will become more of an issue as the newness of the relationship wears off.

If you think it bothers you now, wait 6 months, you won't even want to kiss her.

Even more disturbing is that she refuses to get help to fix them. Even Brad Pitt had scars (you can see them in his earlier films), but he got laser surgery to fix his skin.

Don't settle.

Post: #3

Presently there are no technologies that can reliably get rid of severe acne scars. The best that various procedures, be it lasers, dermabrasion, excision, etc., can do is soften their appearance. Additionally, sometimes these procedures can cause complications that can make the scarring worse. I personally think severe acne scars are a deal breaker for me. It just kind of depends ... if I can't stand looking at her, then game off. If she looks tolerable, then I'd give her a few bangs, but not LTR.

I will also comment on fillers. The problem with these is if the filler is at a location of a natural crease when you smile, the whole area moves when smiling, thus creating its own set of lines that are not natural. You probably have to see it to understand what I'm talking about.

http://www.realself.com/question/stars-r...acne-scars
"Dont believe what you see
December 8th, 2010
What you see on the silver screen in completely re-edited so that any defects or imperfections are removed as the director wants. Any scar or skin imperfection can easily be removed by computer, no make up necessary. Most likely if you saw Brad Pitt in person, up close, you would be suprised to see that he still has acne scars you did not see in the movie."

http://www.youbeauty.com/skin/treating-a...axel-laser
SATS54 SAYS:
"I had laser resurfacing in 07 when I was 53 for a few acne scars. After surgery I was left with tons of scars all over my cheeks & a dent. I've been going for all kinds of lasers since then, Mostly Fraxel Restore. I've had it 7 times. It did make a little difference but after reading so many posts about damage that can come years later or even right after I decided to stop & try needling. Since needling does the same thing, makes small holes in your skin I thought I would give it a try. Fraxel puts heat into your skin, some people get burns & some lose fat. I lost fat, it's in the shape of a square. I know it does work for a lot of people so I'm not going to say don't do it but just make sure you have a laser doctor. Not one who fiddles around & has it on their menu. Get one that just does lasers all day long. Best of luck. After all my treatments I'd say I'm 50% better in some some no change at all in others."

Post: #4

(07-06-2014 07:43 PM)arribaperro Wrote:  Presently there are no technologies that can reliably get rid of severe acne scars. The best that various procedures, be it lasers, dermabrasion, excision, etc., can do is soften their appearance. Additionally, sometimes these procedures can cause complications that can make the scarring worse. I personally think severe acne scars are a deal breaker for me. It just kind of depends ... if I can't stand looking at her, then game off. If she looks tolerable, then I'd give her a few bangs, but not LTR.

I will also comment on fillers. The problem with these is if the filler is at a location of a natural crease when you smile, the whole area moves when smiling, thus creating its own set of lines that are not natural. You probably have to see it to understand what I'm talking about.

http://www.realself.com/question/stars-r...acne-scars
"Dont believe what you see
December 8th, 2010
What you see on the silver screen in completely re-edited so that any defects or imperfections are removed as the director wants. Any scar or skin imperfection can easily be removed by computer, no make up necessary. Most likely if you saw Brad Pitt in person, up close, you would be suprised to see that he still has acne scars you did not see in the movie."

http://www.youbeauty.com/skin/treating-a...axel-laser
SATS54 SAYS:
"I had laser resurfacing in 07 when I was 53 for a few acne scars. After surgery I was left with tons of scars all over my cheeks & a dent. I've been going for all kinds of lasers since then, Mostly Fraxel Restore. I've had it 7 times. It did make a little difference but after reading so many posts about damage that can come years later or even right after I decided to stop & try needling. Since needling does the same thing, makes small holes in your skin I thought I would give it a try. Fraxel puts heat into your skin, some people get burns & some lose fat. I lost fat, it's in the shape of a square. I know it does work for a lot of people so I'm not going to say don't do it but just make sure you have a laser doctor. Not one who fiddles around & has it on their menu. Get one that just does lasers all day long. Best of luck. After all my treatments I'd say I'm 50% better in some some no change at all in others."

@arribaperro
That's what I thought, that there is no proper way to get rid of acne scars (unless they are raised) and then only by painful dermabrasion (as opposed to micro-dermabrasion). Seems like two votes for letting her go. I think that's what I will do as I don't want to keep leading her on. Unfortunately some tears might be shed in the process by her

Post: #5

I also vote no, but I do it with a bit of regret. It's one thing if a girl treats her body poorly and gets fat, it's a whole different issue if she is just genetically unfortunate. I make it a point not to think ill or talk shit about a girl who has poor facial genetics, since it truly wasn't something they did to themselves.

Post: #6

(07-06-2014 08:07 PM)ryanf Wrote:  I also vote no, but I do it with a bit of regret. It's one thing if a girl treats her body poorly and gets fat, it's a whole different issue if she is just genetically unfortunate. I make it a point not to think ill or talk shit about a girl who has poor facial genetics, since it truly wasn't something they did to themselves.

There are so many aspects of genetics that determine attractiveness that we are all judged on all the time: height, facial and body proportions/symmetry, shape of eyes, nose, etc. its all part of the physical component of one's SMV. I won't feel bad on judging a woman on something she has no control over because women judge us all the time on things we have no control over either.

Post: #7

(07-06-2014 08:44 PM)arribaperro Wrote:  

(07-06-2014 08:07 PM)ryanf Wrote:  I also vote no, but I do it with a bit of regret. It's one thing if a girl treats her body poorly and gets fat, it's a whole different issue if she is just genetically unfortunate. I make it a point not to think ill or talk shit about a girl who has poor facial genetics, since it truly wasn't something they did to themselves.

There are so many aspects of genetics that determine attractiveness that we are all judged on all the time: height, facial and body proportions/symmetry, shape of eyes, nose, etc. its all part of the physical component of one's SMV. I won't feel bad on judging a woman on something she has no control over because women judge us all the time on things we have no control over either.

I'm not saying she gets a free pass on attractiveness, believe me. I don't want to sleep with an ugly girl. But I judge them less harshly than fat girls.

Post: #8

I've got bad acne scars myself and have resorted to needling to soften them, been at it for a year and so far I've found very little changes. Maybe I'm a harsh judge of my skin or scar repair tech affects everyone differently, I personally will judge a girl for her scars even though I'm scarred myself.
The truth is if I don't find her attractive then we obviously have a problem.

As people have mentioned its a genetic issue, but also if she had taken better care of her skin, minimise sun/scar damage she'd be in a much better place, that bit I blame on the parents who was in a place to give her skin advice.
Before you drop her I'd say recommend needling to her, http://www.owndoc.com is a pretty useful resource that I use to help with my skin.
At least give her a chance to better he skin for the next dude.

Post: #9

I wouldn't ask them out, because I wouldn't want to be rejected by a deformed chick. When I was at uni there was a really cute blonde with one arm. She had a really pretty face and a great, athletic body, but I would never ask her out, because I couldn't take being rejected by a girl with one arm. That would make me want to kill myself. I couldn't help but think, "Damn this chick has only one arm, and she just turned me down for a date?! WTF?!"

Post: #10

(07-06-2014 09:07 PM)Kxty33 Wrote:  I wouldn't ask them out, because I wouldn't want to be rejected by a deformed chick. When I was at uni there was a really cute blonde with one arm. She had a really pretty face and a great, athletic body, but I would never ask her out, because I couldn't take being rejected by a girl with one arm. That would make me want to kill myself. I couldn't help but think, "Damn this chick has only one arm, and she just turned me down for a date?! WTF?!"

Now you're basing the value of yourself on her actions. Why should your value be determined by one person? Why give her this power? The less you care about what others think and the less you want, then the less power they have over you. There is no end to trying to seek validation from others to make oneself feel important and worthy. Also give up trying to get the most likes on your facebook pictures. I think it's a tremendous waste of time.

Post: #11

I probably wouldn't even though I have them myself haha

Post: #12

dude, I have never even been on facebook, haha.

Post: #13

No.

Wow, I didn't even know that Cameron Diaz had those acne scars on her face. Makeup and photoshop can be pretty powerful coverup tools.

Post: #14

Significant acne scars are one of my only deal-breakers. A couple of chicken pox marks is fine, but anything more than that completely turns me off.

Men seem to do fine with them as long as they are fairly mild though. As for Brad Pitt, Ray Liotta, etc., you can still see them clearly in later films like Inglorious Bastards, I think it's just that they are disguised a little better than previously.

Post: #15

Come on fellas. This is a players' forum.

Agree to the relationship if you enjoy fucking her. Most relationship don't go anywhere anyway. Just bang other girls on the side.

If you find one you actually "like" then dump the first one and upgrade. That's how it's done.

Post: #16

It depends on her and you.if this chick views the scar as a big deal then deep down her she wants to have you to boost her self esteem .
You should have your own defination of beauty and what you want which you should never compromise.
For me its a No because i rate a chick based of her face.and ma grandpa told me 'ugly' girls are the most dangerous to date as they are constantly seeking approval and validication.

Post: #17

I'm with Parlay on this. Find other options first tun dump her. If you can't upgrade stay with the best thing you have while fucking other girls on the side.

Post: #18

(07-07-2014 07:46 AM)Parlay44 Wrote:  Agree to the relationship if you enjoy fucking her. Most relationship don't go anywhere anyway. Just bang other girls on the side.

Thanks, I was stuck in this for a bit and the bolded part helped me choose a decision.

Relationships go nowhere so take it lightly.

Post: #19

(07-06-2014 07:30 PM)TripleG Wrote:  I asked her if it was a burn scar and she avoided the question. I am not sure how to bring up the theme of her seeing a plastic surgeon (don't think a dermatologist would be enough) without her becoming extremely upset as she already tries to cover the area with her hair and makeup all the time.

Dude, thats just being a dick.

If you hate her face so much that you would actually consider "suggesting" her to get surgery, dont date her.

Do I like acne scars? No. But who am I to judge? I got scars of my own. Would I date a woman with severe acne? I dont know. Perhaps I would, perhaps Id hate the scars. Buy I would never critizice her for them.

You are just projecting your own shortcomings and insecurities on her. You dont hate her scars, you just hate yourself because you think you deserve better, because you want your woman to be "perfect" so you can feel "perfect". If you dont like her, dont go out with her, as simple as that. Now, you dont have to 100% like every woman you fuck, but if you are going to be hating yourself afterwards for fucking them, then dont.

Post: #20

Germanico does make a valid point. Don't kick anyone while they are down and hit their insecurities unless they have insulted you immensely. If you are doubting yourself that much in this regard then the fault lies with you.

Post: #21

(07-07-2014 05:09 PM)hwuzhere Wrote:  Germanico does make a valid point. Don't kick anyone while they are down and hit their insecurities unless they have insulted you immensely. If you are doubting yourself that much in this regard then the fault lies with you.

Thanks guys for all your input. I did not want to come off as insecure or rude, just wanted some friendly player advice which I have gotten. You guys (except Germanico) are more critical of this than myself. I will try to do the casual dating part then for a while until one of us get's tired of each other or finds a "better deal".

Post: #22

Years ago, while married to my 2nd wife, I met this 25yo virgin with a bad case of acne (through a computerized dating service--there was no Internet yet). She looked 30 at least, and I looked 30 at most (but was already in my forties) and she wanted to talk about the problem--I wouldn't have discussed it at my own initiative. By then, she already knew I was married because I found her too unattractive to lie to her, but my other head was still willing to get to know her better. Long story short, she kept her V-card but I convinced her that swallowing cum will be helpful for her skin condition and provided the "medicine" twice a week for a while. I did take her BJ-V-card, by all indications. I would never have a serious LTR with such a girl, however: I have never been mature enough to overlook looks.

Post: #23

I have mild acne scars in my face (treated with laser CO2) and heavy acne scars in my back (yet to treat) but if I have to be honest I problably wouldn't date a girl with BAD acne scars.

Man and women have to care to different things. Men have to be confident, strong, leader, protective ecc so there are qualities more important than beauty (or a perfect skin) per se.

Girls, on the other hand, have to be beautiful and feminine. Physical flaws are much more noticeable on them.

So, as many girls wouldn't date a guy who is a social retard, many guys woudln't date a girls with bad acne scars.

Mild acne scars (even in the face) can be acceptable though...