Post: #1

Last night I texted drauger ‘want to ride bikes down to a secret nude beach tomorrow? I’m gonna bring my camera game’.

He replied ‘dude I gotta say yes to something like that.

So today we rode through the heat down to a secluded spot where topless chicks abound.

Got off the bikes, put our stuff down next to a girl with her nice tan titties out and a g-string on, did some bodysurfing, swam in the salt water and got refreshed.

After a bit we decided to take a walk down the beach and see what the talent was like. Most of the topless girls were with their boyfriends and I wasn’t about to approach that—waste of time. I was racking my brain the way down the beach of just how I would go about opening a group of half-naked girls when all of a sudden the answer crawled out of the sea and up onto the sand. It was a harbor seal.

The juvenile seal already had a small cluster of girls around it and they were enthralled. I took out my camera to snap some shots and drauger took some photos on his phone. A girl rolled right up to drauger, told him “I don’t want to go get my phone because she might go away, can I give you my number and have you send the photos to me?” She took his phone, entered her number and smiled brightly with her big ol’ titties peaking out from her top. Boom, seal game.

We stayed around the seal for a while, watching it scratch itself, roll around, be fucking adorable, and more and more girls came over like a magnet. At one point the seal started mimicking a girls wave and it was waving back. I have to say, this was one charming motherfucker, it gamed its way to my heart.

   
Old Goldmund being gamed by a seal.

We walked down the beach some more, turned around and on the way back there was still a huge group of girls. One cutie with a nice tight booty walked over and I started talking to her about seals. She asked if I knew if it was a boy or a girl. I replied “I don’t know, but you can feel around down there and check”. She chuckled and then walked her cute ass over to her girlfriends.

There wasn’t tons of time to spend there, but I am sure if we had stuck around, the girls would have kept coming for the entire time the seal was there.

This of course can carry over to any type of exotic animal—the younger the animal the better since they are usually cuter and friendlier. It also helps to have an extensive knowledge of animals. I am so glad that I grew up constantly reading every nature guidebook I could get my hands on. When out walking, I can usually identify most of the birds in my part of the country. I have used this game many times—asking, “Do you see that bufflehead? They only come around a few days out of the year, that is something special”. This works like a charm.

Today was a great learning experience and filled me with an energy that only Mother Nature can provide. I cant wait to go out into the city tonight and share some of that energy with the ladies.

**On the ride out of the beach there is a fence that you have to get off your bike and go around. I rolled up to the fence and stopped to dismount and 10 seconds later I hear “Oh shiiiiit, noo brakes!” and see drauger come flying at full speed. Instead of smashing into the iron fence, he decided to turn right and crash his kiwi-ass full speed, head first into some soft bushes. This provided much laughter for two passersby and me.

Post: #2

Lol I just finished bandaging that bitch of a toe wound up.

The seal had great aloof indifference and was a magnet for the best talent on the beach. While maintaining his IDGAF vibe he showed his sensitive side by waving at the children.

I was happy to pick up some of his scraps.

Post: #3

RVF bumper sticker: Dont club the seals - bring seals to the club.

Post: #4

I'm sure if all those seal clubbers witnessed a bunch of hot naked girls surrounding one of their prey they'd come up with a better use for seals.

Post: #5

Zebras, Seals, what's next?

Post: #6

This thread is everything I hoped it would be but refused to expect, because I didn't want to be disappointed.