Post: #1

Honest question for you guys here.

A lot of us suggest to others to never reveal the red pill to somebody who doesn't need it which is something I very much agree with.

However, do any of you guys offer yourselves to become mentors for people who need some life guidance?

An example, I have a close friend that is a girl who is over weight. For the two years we've known each other, she's been on a steady diet which has helped her lose about 75 lbs. She's never been one for lifting and going to the gym. She does do yoga which helps.

I eventually got her to come to the gym with me for a full week. My routine is a modified 5x5 of this. For a girl that's over weight she's surprisingly strong. Started doing deadlifts with proper form at 95 lbs. We even had her doing counter weighted pull ups and dips.

I won't lie. Being there and helping her with form and introducing her to the trainers and other individuals was very satisfying. She's telling me she's sore as hell, but is really excited for the second week.

Have any of you guys become a mentor or someone (game, life, gym, otherwise)? I get the impression a lot of guys here would enjoy teaching through example.

Post: #2

To me it's not about whether they need it or not. The individual must first come to the conclusion on his/her own that they want and need change. If they're able to humble themselves to this point then they are in a position to find the red pill on their own, or ask for help.

If they ask for help then I will always do what I am able, no more no less.
"when the student is ready, the teacher shall appear."

Post: #3

Someone told me once, "you can be coached on anything you want to achieve, exception intention."

Post: #4

Many of my friendships are based on me helping my friends with decisions and challenges they face, and them helping me by taking care of me when I push myself too hard and also introducing me to new places and experiences that are familiar to them.

I think a good friendship is where both people share the best parts of themselves. It costs little to do that.

So, yes.

Post: #5

When I was younger, around 15-16, I used to help my uncle read. He was born in Cuba and didn't really have much of an education. He only knew basic math but couldn't read if his life depended on it. When he came to the US, he was already a grown man so he decided not to go to school. I felt bad for him, seeing as he couldn't get a job or even read his own bills. I bought a chart with the alphabet and I'd make him pronounce the letters every day. When he got good at pronouncing them, I'd make him write the letters in a note book as well, too. After a while, he started improving and I gave him some of my old books to read. He became a proficient reader and writer within a few years. Now he has a job as an English teacher in elementary school.

In retrospect, it's amazing how a mere teenager could change a man's life. The experience was all the more easier because he wanted to learn. If they have no intention of being taught then it's only going to make your job harder.

Post: #6

Yes. In my opinion the best way to develop leadership skills is to learn how to raise the fortunes of those around you.

You don't have to outright start talking red pill to people in order to introduce the concepts. There's a 16yd at my gym who was banging a 22yd college senior (go kid!). She gave him a massive shit test in a wall of text and he was asking how to respond. I told him how to handle it (wait it out, keep the responses short, don't engage in bullshit) and she came around. I also taught him some concepts like agree and amplify and to never take a girl too seriously. No need to go any deeper than that.

Post: #7

The only people worth mentoring are the ones who don't need it.

I almost feel that way. If someone is determined to accomplish something, the will comes from within. The only thing you can teach them is a step here and there to facilitate the process.

You can't answer a question that was never asked.

Post: #8

Relevant Elliot Hulse video.

Post: #9

I have always tried to help others to a extent. Just in the past few months back in my hometown I got one of my chubby friends to stop drinking soda, my 14 year old neighbor to start lifting weights, mom to cut out aspartame. I also have given my chubby friend and neighbor a WEALTH of knowledge that seems to just go in one ear and out the other. I give them solid wisdom about life till I turn blue in the face sometimes and it doesn't change them one bit. People who are just taking free advice just kind of pick the parts of the advice they want and the rest is almost wasted. Maybe later in life or if a certain circumstance arises they make remember the advice and use it, who knows. "You can't help somebody that doesn't want to be helped"

Regardless of whether or not they take all my help and advice or just small pieces here and there I still try to help them as much as possible. I always had nice modded cars pretty much all my life. An with that I always had young kids at random places asking me about them or telling me they are cool and I told all of them if they did good in school and didn't do drugs they could have two cars like this when they were my age. I have no idea if I helped a kid get a A or stay off Meth but to me I at least wanna try to be a positive influence in peoples life every chance I get.

Post: #10

(07-12-2014 05:07 PM)samsamsam Wrote:  Someone told me once, "you can be coached on anything you want to achieve, exception intention."

I fully agree with this. I have a whole lot of Social programming that I've shed since I discovered the forum BUT haven't been able to shed the people that came with the social programming (including family).

That's why the forum is a second family to me. Since I found the forum, I have found nothing but POSITIVE people. That's motivated me to have gone all out to put myself out there. Good and bad. It started with the bad. All of it is even documented on the forum like an open book.

At that time I didn't even PM people for help because I knew that if I did, I needed to show some "intention" like you say and show some EFFORT (which will always come as a result of positive intention to improve). It was tough to talk about what I wanted without at least showing some effort that I had made myself. For me, I had to do this because there are so many quality people on this forum that I would lose the company of if I didn't. I WANTED to do what it takes to put myself in that circle.

When I did show the effort, it automatically showed intention. I was not only able to add value to my own life but also to the forum by putting my story out there. Then I started meeting people off of the forum. I would say that what I have gotten from them (including rep points ) is more than I've ever given. This includes not only the experienced members but also some newbies.

So if people ask me for help, I'm ready to provide but same as me, I ask that you must show that intention and go one step further to show "some" action. That action may even mean searching for threads already written on the subject.

Some newbies for example just start a thread asking questions that are already covered. They would have found it if they spent one minute of EFFORT doing a search. Sometimes they want easy answers and don't INTEND to improve shit in their life. I may be going a bit over the top but you MUST start somewhere.

I feel preachy now and ready to cry so I'll stop.

Post: #11

I've always subscribed to the philosophy (I believe Buddha originated this) of having one hand up and one hand down.

Meaning someone is helping me (the hand up) and I have one hand down helping those below me.

I would have NEVER gotten to where I'm at without the help of mentors and older men who took the time to teach me about life, women, etc.

It's an obligation of those who have been there and done that to help others. It's the main reason for my blog is to give back and the reward of emails from gents who have benefited from it means a great deal to me.

Helping someone improve their life is the greatest work one can do.

Post: #12

I can't improve on what Christian just said above. It's spot-on.

Post: #13

Even when I had nothing going for me I still did the Big Brother Big Sister route...as young and little as I had, others had even less.

Giving guidance to others (who seek it) can really crystallize/internalize your leadership skills, and it's great to be helping others out

Post: #14

I am always pushing my closest friends. More distant friends or other people I do not help unless they ask for it. At some point I am however looking forward to helping people at larger scales. Young people need mentors and it is selfish not to help when you might know so much more.

McQueen Wrote:I've always subscribed to the philosophy (I believe Buddha originated this) of having one hand up and one hand down.

Meaning someone is helping me (the hand up) and I have one hand down helping those below me.

Awesome advice, never heard that before.

Post: #15

I spend as much time as I possibly can mentoring other young men. Even before taking the redpill I would voluntarily go to high schools, and speak to young students about college, women, and working in the real world. When one of teen boys told me before I left that he would never ever forget the things I told him, 6 others spoke up and said the same thing. All these guys were minorities of each group. It helped that their teacher was actually very redpill looking back at that time.

At that point I kinda got hooked into doing it but back then I primarily stuck to Black and Hispanic young men mostly and some women.

After I became redpill, I went into hiding more or less. I was busy reading anything I could find in the Manosphere. I had recently got divorce raped and I was trying to desperately rebuild my own life and finances. Once I got mostly back on my feet, I started dating again. Then I went abroad for fun and dating. By the time I got engaged in China, I suddenly remembered one day in the mountainside that I had forgotten all about the Manosphere!

When I flew back to the US, I hopped on my PC and have been helping young men of all colors, backgrounds, nationalities ever since. I stopped advising any women in the US. I wrote a massive type of datasheet for another website, (something I am revising exclusively for RVF), and I have gotten into Solution Orientated-Based Life Coaching as well. I have young men that I mentor of all kinds of income levels and backgrounds now and I love it.

I have met all kinds of red pilled people in the Manosphere. From black nationalists, to White ones, to whiny/lazy PUAhate types, to guys wanting to live in Amish like communities. Some do not like the depth of my reports and advice because they think it will ruin a poosy paradise somewhere. Some demand that I show my face publicly along with my wife otherwise they will refute all of my claims.

Fighting with all these guys the last couple years has drained me. I won't lie. Now I treat it like a Christian Mission. I look for guys either online, in person on the street, or my personal circles. If I notice that they are struggling in some area, I attempt the redpill. My reasoning is that, it took 2 or 3 times for my "redpill"-ish friends to convert me. Eventually if they shrug me off, someone else or a bad event will wake them up just like it did to me. Sometimes my wife is my prop and that will get their attention. Sometimes my personal story gets their attention. Sometimes they are receptive enough to take a business card with an email address so that I can introduce more to them.

One good example: I have followed a young black guy, that was trying to network with professionals at an event, that got clowned and dissed by some career black chick. After I gently shut her down, she left. Then I introduced him to red pill and broke down game to him. He converted on the spot.

If you had ever told me 3-4 years ago that my day game now would involve men only. I would have been offended!

Post: #16

A man gave me a shot (more of a kick in the ass) a long time ago. It radically changed both my life, and, as a result, the lives of several other men as I pass the same torch.

We should be mentoring as a part of our own continuing development. "Getting it" the first half. Passing it on the rest. Synthesizing knowledge throughout.

Post: #17

I only help people with whom I have a connection, ie: friends. But I make friends easily. Sure I will help a stranger in certain situations, but I don't think the OP applied to those kind of situations.

As I get older I find better ways to 'help'. I used to be too direct, now I am more indirect and try to introduce different mental approaches to problems, rather than a monologue about what I think is right or wrong.

At the same time, I also try to be receptive to help and advice of all kinds that is offered to me. It is a cyclic, not linear.