Post: #1

So I've been hanging out with a girl for a few weeks, probably been on 10-15 outings with her, and feel like things are headed down the path of friend-zone. Yesterday, we were supposed to meet after work, but I had a feeling she would flake this time. Sure enough, she found an excuse not to hang out. (getting out of work late, won't make it home in time, etc.)

While I had absolutely nothing planned, I replied with "that's cool. I got invited to do some crazy shit out in Springfield, so I might go there instead"

Immediately, she replies with "what are you gonna do?"

So I give her vague details of another plan to go out with friends and other women.

Later that night, she sends a few texts asking if I went out, and how it went, etc.

Funny thing is, I did go out for a few, just to get out of the house, and get my mind off of seeing this girl, but I eventually replied that I had a blast.

Had I not read Bang, or this forum, I probably would've replied that I have no other plans, and seemed less valuable to this girl. So, thanks to everyone for providing the advice on this forum.

Post: #2

My response these days is being polite, but not going out of my way to make other plans. They can either get on my team, or leave. Their loss.

Post: #3

To be clear, I acted as if I were previously invited to go out with other people, prior to making the invitation for her to hang out with me on that night.

Seems if the girls think they are the only plans I have for the evening, I'm a boring dude. But if I can easily hop to another outing, suddenly I'm an exciting dude.

Post: #4

Are you banging this girl or just "hanging out"?

Post: #5

My 2 cents

In this situation

-You could have ignored the text 4-5 hours
-Text back @1am "Just saw this" or "Just got in"
-Left her hanging altogether and restart in a couple days

In each scenario, you are leaving her hamster sprinting

In my mind, if she doesn't want to hang with you, then why is she so worried about WHO/WHAT you are getting into?

Post: #6

I hope you didn't go on 10 outings without a bang. Jesus.

Post: #7

yeah, honestly 15 dates without a bang? Are you at least trying to hook up with her? If you don't go for sex within the first 3 dates, most girls won't look at you as a man imo. That is especially true in USA. I'm in Ukraine and all the locals say you have to wait 2 weeks with most girls, but I've started having really good success when i push for it on the second date. The next time you see her, make an excuse to go back to your place and go for sex... plain and simple. She will respect you more as a man.

Post: #8

Ya, are you at least being physical with her in some way? Making out? Putting her hand down your pants...

If there's zero physicality after that many dates, you're not heading towards the friend zone, you're already there!

Post: #9

yes, 10-15 dates without the bang. Here's the problem though. I've known her off and on for a couple years, and in all that time, she has been taken (by another woman, no less), while I've had a gf too. Earlier this year, they "broke up", while I've been having some problems with my own relationship, and I think we connected based on that similarity. Even though she had been broken up with her woman, they still lived together, so she hasn't been sleeping around at all. Today, I think all that is going to change, as she caught her "ex" cheating, or at least banging another girl, so she's now in the process of kicking that girl out. Even today, she suggested she should "just go out and fuck a stranger" just to get revenge, but then admitted she isn't like that. The other problem is, I've grown to actually like this girl, in a possible dating sense, so I'm sure that causes one to sound off the beta horn like crazy, but not intentionally.

As far as the physical stuff, I've kissed her a couple times when drunk, and another time we slept in the same bed (fully clothed), touched each other a little bit, then she fell asleep holding my hand. Light kino is usually in play when we hang out (usually at a bar or restaurant), and the level of kino seemed to progress a little today after the big breakup.

So it feels like I started out in the friend-zone, but might have a golden opportunity to jump out of that zone.

Post: #10

(07-22-2014 06:02 PM)GoSkins Wrote:  yes, 10-15 dates without the bang.

Wtf. Why would you go out with her that much when you're not even fucking her? You're deep in the friendzone and wasting your time.

Get her to come to your place and try to fuck her. Grow a pair of balls and escalate as far as you can. She will either (miraculously) reciprocate or shut you down and leave.

Post: #11

Donkey's right.

Next time escalate the fuck out of the situation.

If she doesn't respond, next her.

Stop pissing about man!

Post: #12

(07-22-2014 06:02 PM)GoSkins Wrote:  -yes, 10-15 dates without the bang. -eject dude, wasting time and money on her when you could spend it an other females who would put out


I've known her off and on for a couple years, and in all that time, she has been taken (by another woman, no less), while I've had a gf too. - So what ? No play, then eject, she isn't your BFF dude.


Earlier this year, they "broke up", while I've been having some problems with my own relationship, and I think we connected based on that similarity. Even though she had been broken up with her woman, they still lived together, so she hasn't been sleeping around at all. Today, I think all that is going to change, as she caught her "ex" cheating, or at least banging another girl, so she's now in the process of kicking that girl out. - what in the fuck, so this friend of yours is in a off and on lesbian relationship? -double eject, unless she's playing for your team again.


Even today, she suggested she should "just go out and fuck a stranger" just to get revenge, but then admitted she isn't like that. - should've called her on it and immediately invited her out, but of course like all women her hamster was spinning craving attention.


The other problem is, I've grown to actually like this girl, in a possible dating sense, so I'm sure that causes one to sound off the beta horn like crazy, but not intentionally. - you have oneitis for lesbian/bi, you're putting pussy on the pedestal, yes this is beta, stop it now.

As far as the physical stuff, I've kissed her a couple times when drunk, and another time we slept in the same bed (fully clothed), touched each other a little bit, then she fell asleep holding my hand. - seriously ? you didn't cave man it or try anything aggressive at all ? always try for more than you want man

So it feels like I started out in the friend-zone, but might have a golden opportunity to jump out of that zone. - dude I honestly don't even think she knows what she wants and you're just a little play thing clown for her man, this girl sounds like a headcase that you don't want any part of

-Start being more aggresive ASAP and go for the bang.
-If she has LMR bulldoze through it, if the bang doesn't happen, go radio silent on her for awhile, see if she bites and texts you.
-If that was me I'd of ejected after the 3rd date, you're wasting opportunities and bangs on this one girl that you could've had with other girls.

Post: #13

Reminds me of that Tom Hanks movie Castaway where he was stranded on an island. Your island is the friend zone. Build yourself a raft and get off dude.

The friend zone rarely if ever turns into pussy paradise.