Post: #1

For the guys here in long term monogamous relationships ...how often do you communicate with your girl?

How many texts, calls per day? How many times per week do you see her? How often do you "go out" for dinner or drinks?

What's the longest you've gone without her calling or texting you? Or you calling or texting her?

Post: #2

1 text to come over after work. Usually around 9:30.


Pretty much all other texts are initiated by her.

Post: #3

when I was in a LTR/monog. I'd try to limit it to 2 texts a day (5 at most).

but this was when shit is good. if she went all cry baby mode. of course the text start flooding in. I'd tell her to stay calm and we can talk about wherever bullshit at another juncture.

seeing her would be 2 times a week TOPS. and I'd be sure to scramble those up as well. meaning, one week id see twice. next week twice again. then I go one full week and not see her (saying I'm busy or some sort). the following week I only see her once... don't let her get comfy.

we normally did breakfast. once every time she come over or vice versa.

Post: #4

(07-26-2014 09:25 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  For the guys here in long term monogamous relationships ...how often do you communicate with your girl?

How many texts, calls per day? How many times per week do you see her? How often do you "go out" for dinner or drinks?

What's the longest you've gone without her calling or texting you? Or you calling or texting her?

I've been dating a girl since last November. Very religious, conservative type; she prefers face-to-face or telephone interactions to text/social media.

For our first several dates, I limited contact strictly to logistical texting. We'd go out once a week, and I'd text her a day or two in advance to set it up, with no other contact in between. Since we've been dating, this is the longest we've gone without contacting each other.

After about two months of dating, we settled into a good habit of seeing each other roughly twice a week; we'd cook dinner and have a bottle of wine at my place mid-week, and then go out either Friday or Saturday for drinks downtown. She'd end up spending the night each time, but she'd leave early the next morning for class (she's in grad school) or I'd kick her out after breakfast on the weekends so I could hit the gym or run errands.

Even after a few months of dating like that, we'd rarely text (outside of logistics), although I attribute that mostly to our joint dislike of attempting to have extended conversations through text. From time to time I'd have to travel for work, and she would usually call me after dinner to chat for 30 min or so (not a problem because she's a smart girl and I actually enjoy our conversations).

Fortunately, my work and her school schedule kept us from seeing each other too much, and the two or three times per week type deal (with little-to-no contact between dates) was great. This is the model I'll attempt to recreate in future relationships. It's a good balance between enough sex to keep me satiated, and enough distance to where I maintain my own life/habits/goals and don't find myself spending an inordinate amount of time or money on a girl.

Post: #5

Agree Issac Jordan--seeing a girl 2 times a week is ideal. Any more and it gets monotonous.

When I was in my last LTR our schedule was fixed. Friday night we would go out for dinner and then back to my place. Saturday we would go hiking or do some other outdoor activity. Come back to her place where she would cook me a homemade dinner. She enjoyed cooking and I enjoy eating her delectable meals so it worked well.

No texting or phone calls except for logistics. Maybe 1 per week on average.

Post: #6

I think it depends on how well your girl behaves.

My gf is richer than I am and she has a very nice apartment, so I'm there most of the week. I cook. She clean, buy groceries, do my laundry and iron my shirt and we fuck 2-3/days, bj if she s on her period.

Normally I would agree that seeing gf 2-3 times is about right, but when you have a feminine and submissive gf who calls you daddy, why not camp out there? That said most of the texts are her initiating, asking me to go out for weekend or lunch break if Im at the office, or what I like for dinner. We never called.

Post: #7

As little as possible. I always let my girlfriends chase. Some go nuts and call everyday, others a few times per month. Let them set the tempo or else you'll fuck it up guaranteed. The flip side of this is that I almost always respond to a woman who reaches out to me.

Post: #8

Agreed with Samseau, I've got a main girl (closest thing to a monogamous relationship I have). We rarely text, but she'll snapchat me all day then she'll call me after she gets off work at night.

I hardly ever call her unless we're setting something up for hanging out. I don't call her often when I get off work.

She'll snapchat me 5 to 1 and I only respond at lunch, shitting, or when I get off work. I honestly try to avoid communication as much as possible, comes off as needy to me. We've gone maybe 2-3 days without texting, I can tell she really likes me alot especially after calling me accidentally swiping right on tinder one of her friends so the her talking to me has picked up.

I see her 2 times a week, RARELY 3 times a week, she's a busy girl so it works well. Neither of us are needy. We'll go to dinner once a week, or maybe I'll take her somewhere like the fair this week.

Let her chase you and let her set the communication tempo like Sam said.

Post: #9

(07-29-2014 03:52 PM)Samseau Wrote:  Let them set the tempo or else you'll fuck it up guaranteed. The flip side of this is that I almost always respond to a woman who reaches out to me.

Agree on this. Let them initiate once you are in a relationship.

Post: #10

Last LTR I'd say 2x a week, almost no texting, but she did call me daily at work - however the calls can easily be < 5 mins.

Post: #11

Been in a relationship for a little under 6 months, last 3.5 months I've only been sleeping with her. We typically spend 2 to 3 nights per week together and talk on the phone for 5-15 minutes before bed on the nights we don't see each other. We're both 31.

I'm subletting my place for a week and living with her, so this will be a very interesting experiment to see how compatible we are for the long term.

Post: #12

(08-01-2014 07:39 AM)Blackmagic Wrote:  Been in a relationship for a little under 6 months, last 3.5 months I've only been sleeping with her. We typically spend 2 to 3 nights per week together and talk on the phone for 5-15 minutes before bed on the nights we don't see each other. We're both 31.

I'm subletting my place for a week and living with her, so this will be a very interesting experiment to see how compatible we are for the long term.

Just so you know, a week is not going to be reflective of what she'd be like to live with or be with long-term. That's still way too honeymoon type of a time frame.

I've been dating a girl exclusively for the better part of the year and I see her when it's convenient for me (most of the time, you can't be complete asshole with a sweet feminine girl). She texts or e-mails me more than I do her, she responds quickly, I respond when I can (I'm pretty busy during the day). I will occasionally give her a really long text or series of texts, but that's the exception. When I call her she almost always picks up or calls me right back. I try to keep texts to maximum 4-5 per day (mine to her). I sprinkle in random funny/cute pictures as she loves them and she sends me pretty funny stuff back.

She's not really a social media addict she just looks at stuff she likes online on one of those aggregator sites and doesn't comment. She'll send me pictures of a cake she wants to bake or something like that. I really enjoy her. When I'm around her I make sure to listen to her and show her that I care without being her solution man, but I tell her plenty about what I have going on, she really likes to be supportive of me. Depending on my schedule we see each other (including sleepover at my place) once or twice a week or sometimes one night during the week and multiple weekend days/nights.

Just recently I let her keep a toothbrush at my place, she doesn't leave anything else there (well other than normal leave behinds), she keeps all her stuff in a neat pile in my room when she comes over, she never assumes she's going to stay over, but comes prepared when it's a significant possibility. When I didn't see her for nearly 2 weeks while I was working/traveling we had mindblowing sweaty ridiculously fun sex for what seemed like forever when I got back. While I was gone I tried to shoot her a picture whenever we were doing a neat activity, but otherwise didn't talk to her that much except for a few times on the phone briefly and some sporadic texting.

I think it's more how much she's into me than my particular communication, but communication definitely plays a pretty important role in relationships.

Post: #13

I try my best to keep it as random as possible. however, I do send my regulars "good morning texts" often. it's a little sweet thing I do

Post: #14

I normally text once a day if I remember. So every other day. Normally everything is initiated by her. When we were living close she'd come over like 4 times a week. It's the only way I could make sure I didn't cheat. The key is she still wanted to come over more. As long as you are still turning her down or being aloof it works out.

Post: #15

I am in a LTR now and am doing what some of you guys have said: let her initiate. But last days she was complaining that I don't care about her. She wants me to initiate the salute. If I just initiante she extends as long as she wants, and that's ok for me. This is the dilemma for me, between what the forum says and what she asks for. We don't talk by phone or another thing, only whatsapp. I was thinking to explain to her that i will let her initiate and mark the rhythm (and that it's not that i don't care about her, just don't want to bore her), but not sure if it's a good idea.

Post: #16

My last relationship every night for 15 minutes to 30 minutes if she did not sleep over face time. and good morning texts (we rotated). maybe 1 text during the day but to make plans to get food or do something or ask her about her day. nothing crazy..

so 3x a day i would speak to her...

i would be very careful texting your girlfriend 3x a week.... woman need attention. or they will get it elsewhere. texting your gf 3x a week is to little and just asking to be monkey branched or cheated on imo. unless you are dating a girl who is working 50 hours a week.'

This is for girls you are in a relationship with.... Obviously girls you are casually dating then only text them to make plans... which is like once a week.. maybe 2... girls in a relationship is a different ballgame. they need more attention or they will get it elsewhere.

I text them as much as they text me , except a little bit less... make them chase and make yourself the prize and leader. But also show that you care and be romantic sometimes.

Post: #17

You have to balance comfort and availability based on the sweetness of the girl.

Too much and she will start thinking you are a beta, definitely let her contact you most of the time but spice it up

Too little and she will drift off or be fucking other dudes.

Post: #18

Casual texting throughout the day with no pressure for a quick response since we both work. I spend the night with my LTR once a week, get there for dinner and maybe hit the gym or hit up a nice park the next day. Sometimes I'll spend two nights if I traveled and haven't seen her in a bit. It works well, I can't imagine hanging out with a girl more than that. Keeping it to a minimum helps things stay fun and leaves less room for "too much togetherness"

Although I have slipped up and been too responsive to phone calls, and now find myself having phone convos with her every day...I just got off one that was 45 minutes long...granted I was surfing RVF and plucking my electric guitar while she rambled on, but I need to scale back expectations a little bit. Girls can literally talk forever about the most inane shit.