Post: #1

This may sound like a silly, newbie question, but I've been in a relationship so long that I'm rusty.

So I hooked up(not fucked) with a girl a few days ago, stayed with her a few hours, but she didn't want to gave her phone number just facebook. I know this means "I just want fun tonight" and I know most likely won't get on a date, but I want to try.

The thing is how to ask her out and also game her to at least have a chance to say yes...i can't ask her straight. Are there some basic techniques or something that are better than a normal convo?

Should I try to take her phone number first, before asking her out?

Post: #2

I'm not a big proponent of facebook/online game for the simple reason that you have to compete with every orbiter of hers for her attention. It puts the power in her hands and you at the disadvantage, as compared with you and her being out together where you have the advantage and her attention. I used to push for only using online game to get the digits, using her digits only to get her out and then running your game. Otherwise, you become the entertainer and source of validation for her without any physical escalation taking place and could wind up blowing your chance.

With that being said, hit her up on the FB chat and keep it simple. If you want to bring up something that happened the night you were together that might make her smile for the sake of continuity, then do so. Also, don't ask her for number. Make a statement that involves you getting her number. "I know this ice cream place that's great, give me your number" or something of the same. Just keep it simple and remember the jumbo-tron test: you are doing it right if your messages could be displayed on a big screen jumbo-tron at a major stadium and you would not feel embarrassed to have other people see them.

If she gives you any resistance, then it truly was just a one night thing and move on. Don't waste your time and resources trying to get her to come around.

Post: #3

Facebook mean "I want you to join my fan club". Giving out numbers is so common these days I'd say not giving to you is a red flag.
Take the high road "It was nice meeting you. I'll see you around then".

Post: #4

(01-25-2015 08:32 AM)Parlay44 Wrote:  Facebook mean "I want you to join my fan club". Giving out numbers is so common these days I'd say not giving to you is a red flag.
Take the high road "It was nice meeting you. I'll see you around then".

Yea, that's what I thought. However, I'm pretty sure she was DTF that night, she was very horny and drunk, I regret now letting her go.

@ChrisPitts: so you're saying to ask her out and take her number like that?

Any good opener you have in mind?

Post: #5

Internet = trouble in my experience. Also I've seen some guys here make excellent points about social media "killing the mystery", if your entire social life is just there at the click of a button she'll be less inclined to go "who is this guy?"

Post: #6

You need to be generating more options, because having one option is not enough.

Post: #7

If she wouldn't give you her number and only Fb, then move on dude. She isn't interested.

Post: #8

1) FB means not interested.
2) Not banging her was the problem.

Nowadays you can bang a chick and she won't return your phone calls. At least back in the day, chicks worried about pregnancy or STD's and had to keep the lines of communication open just in case.

3) You can still ask her out straight up. Your chances of sweet talking your way into the pussy are about the same as asking her straight up, since you fumbled the pussy earlier.

Take the loss, and learn from it.

WIA

Post: #9

Exactly. I talked a bit with her on fb, but there was no interest. I tried to increase the heat but nothing. Eventually she stopped responding. When conversation was a bit better I said we should hang out sometime....she avoided the subject.

So it's pretty clear. Maybe if I had mad text game to change things, but I doubt it. I missed the chance...need to learn from it.

Post: #10

The issue is as WIA pointed out is that you didn't bang her. You probably knew that you made a mistake right then and there as you let the opportunity pass, right? In my freshman year, I had a girl come over and actually sit on my bed, and I didn't do anything. Even though I played it off like friends (still a virgin at the time, I was just pleased with making that much progress for the first time...), I knew it was wrong.

Maybe it would be more constructive if you give a play-by-play. How did the time with her go? How was her attraction building throughout it? At what point could you have escalated further and had sex with her? Where was that moment of "too late" where you felt it slipping away, and the only thing she could give was the facebook?

The only possibility is to text her like a casual friend like "Hey, I saw this cool local free event at x." Let's go. Then turn it into game. Do what you normally do, get her attracted just like you did that day, and seal the deal. Just be natural, make no reference to the night you didn't bang her. But I wouldn't try and game her through text. Just a "hey what's up" then gauge her interest in checking out this thing, done.

Post: #11

(01-25-2015 12:34 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  1) FB means not interested.
2) Not banging her was the problem.

Nowadays you can bang a chick and she won't return your phone calls. At least back in the day, chicks worried about pregnancy or STD's and had to keep the lines of communication open just in case.

3) You can still ask her out straight up. Your chances of sweet talking your way into the pussy are about the same as asking her straight up, since you fumbled the pussy earlier.

Take the loss, and learn from it.

WIA

So true. Sad to say. And @ fumbled the pussy.

Post: #12

One of my friends used to on Facebook add all the hot chicks from the college near-by, lie and say he had class with them, and got a ton of bangs from that... I actually totally forgot about that until seeing this thread.

Post: #13

(01-25-2015 10:18 PM)bnmf Wrote:  One of my friends used to on Facebook add all the hot chicks from the college near-by, lie and say he had class with them, and got a ton of bangs from that... I actually totally forgot about that until seeing this thread.

Might work for young guys.

You should get the skinny and write up a data sheet.

WIA

Post: #14

Ok, so I had a few convos with her, but finished on a bad, creepy way.

We exchange some messages, seems interested a bit at first.

blabla
me: we should hang out sometimes to finish that(mind)game with me
her: i remember I finished, it was a test
me: so what was the conclusion?
her: you failed
me: I never fail, your game was broken
her: ) so confident
me: ) you little psychologist and your silly games. do you know what's said about girls studying psychology?
her: no, tell me
me: you don't wanna know
her: oh yes, you have to tell me
me: they're either really cool or crazy(but good in bed). So which are you?
her: haha, both ), well, I'm not sure about this
me: both? you know, every girl says that, it was a test and you failed (i wanted to say she was like any other girl...like a neg or something)

Now, when I thought this is going well:

her: i was kidding.
I don't have to answer on questions like this. People should know me first than answer this questions.
(at this moment I was WTF...and maybe should I have stopped)
me: oh, "I don't have to answer on questions like this". Are you always that serious?
her: am i?
me: you tell me. I don't like you anymore (obvious that was a joke)
her: ) well, ok, your decision (with that ":))" i thought she get the joke)
me: right, it was love at first sight now you made me feel nothing
her: ok, we don't have to talk, you know
(at this time I was delussional thinking she was playing)
me: of course, you blew it )
her: ok, I was thinking it was one of your friends...but nice try. ...and you made me feel nothing

(on this I was WTFFF??? i thought is a smart comment related to what I said earlier, but I couldn't find a connection. here she was very serious with that "you made me feel nothing" )
me: ??? i was kidding
me: you thought you are talking to one of my friends and made you feel nothing? : ))))))
her:
her: let's skip this, whatever this is
me: ok )


So, this chick is stupid, or I am stupid...or something both. I thought she got my jokes...but I miss-read. I think that's a classic beta/non-experienced piece of text game. So she took everything serious, including love at first sight etc...

When I met her she was very attracted to me, we didn't talked much just dancing, making out, groping, neck kiss, bites, and other sexual stuff. I know that she was DTF that night but I couldn't escalate because of my fucking morals of having a gf (which I broke up 2 days later) and now I regret like hell. However, she didn't wanted to give me her phone number.



Besides that obvious thing that she gave me only her fb which means she doesn't want anything more, is there something that I should have done regarding the text game to get her on a date? Better answers?

Post: #15

A lot of newbie misunderstandings here:

(01-25-2015 07:29 AM)bewater Wrote:  So I hooked up(not fucked) with a girl...

Speaking from my own experience, the best understanding of this is through the girl's lens...she's been in intimate situations like this or similar a hundred times, she knows how to navigate it, and she didn't fuck you. To her she might as well have been hanging out with her bff, that's how little of a deal this was to her.

To a girl, not fucking does not equal hook up. Not fucking doesn't mean anything. Literally nothing. She's had lotsa boys hit on her and make moves (maybe some chics as well).

Another level understanding is how much "closer" girls are with even their bffs. They're more cuddly, more touchy feely, and altogether more intimate in general with their friends, so being a little intimate with a guy - which as men we can romanticize as a pseudo hookup - might just be an average evening for her.

Quote:...a few days ago, stayed with her a few hours,

See your thought here. "We sorta hooked up because we hung out a few hours and made out a little." That, I can assure you, is not her reality.

Quote:...but she didn't want to gave her phone number just facebook. I know this means "I just want fun tonight" and I know most likely won't get on a date, but I want to try.

I probably wouldn't even have went for the phone number, as I'm sure she didn't give signals wanting to exchange. Facebook has no place in game, except personal branding...for her to. Of course, I rarely offer or ask for contact (phone fb etc) until she makes obvious hints at it...but I give a heavy DGAF attitude.

Good luck and keep gaming.

Post: #16

@heavy: You're right. It may have been nothing for her, but for my so low experience and confidence, staying, groping, dancing etc with a 7.5 was good for my confidence, especially when you think that your gf(now ex) of 3 years which is an 8, has better looking orbiters and you thought the whole time you are way below her. Basically, the attraction she showed me gave me a little confidence boost which was good, since I thought I'm looking like shit and can't attract any girls above 7.

However, lessons learned:
1)never go for facebook close
2)if you have the chance to fuck her, do it right there when the tension is up