Post: #1

Hey guys,

This is my first real post or thread that I have started but I've been having some performance anxiety for the past 6-12 months when it comes to trying to hook up with girls outside of my relationship.

Essentially what has happened the past 3 times I have taken a girl to bed I have not been able to "keep up" when it came time to actually getting the notch. The first time I just blamed it on the alcohol and late night. The second time the girl actually just ended up giving me a handjob and the third time (with a different girl)I got a bj, neither of which was I particularly hard during.

I am able to have sex with my girlfriend and multiple times, so I know I don't have an ED problem lol I'm only 22.

I am thinking maybe my brain is just too caught up in the fact that I am cheating. Maybe I am just nervous about being with other girls. I only have 3 notches and have been with 4 other girls sexually(7 total) maybe this has something to do with it idk.

Any advice?

Post: #2

Its definately a mental problem, not ED. When I was less experienced, I had a similar problem. For me, this was literally a problem I had to "fuck" my way out off. Let me explain. . .

Basically, the next time you hook up with one of these chicks, don't worry about pleasing her. Don't worry about lasting long for her. Forget that. This is all about you. Hell, if you last only 30 seconds, whatever. Think about a go-to move that a girl has done on you or that you have done to her that turns you on no matter what. If you ever feel yourself starting to lose it, go to that move until your ready again. This helped me get passed that initial barrier, and once I was able to finish, even though I didnt last long, it just kind of "clicked" and I rarely had this problem since.

Post: #3

If it's your thing, next time you struggle to get it up, go down on her. Watch her writhe and moan on your tongue and pretty soon you'll forget what you're anxious about. Worked for me.

Post: #4

I've struggled with this issue before, and every now and then it still comes up. I'm about your age too, so it isn't low testosterone or anything of that sort. From what you are describing, this issue is most likely 100% mental. Don't feel embarrassed about it, this affects over half of men at some point in their lives, its just a taboo topic that people don't usually like to discuss.

My advice would be simply to relax as the moment is coming up. Realize that this is something billions of people have done before you and billions of people will do after you, and follow your instincts. Don't worry if your dick is hard, think about this girls huge tits, or how soft her skin is, or how hot she looks laying naked in your bed. If you want to go down on her, go down on her because you want to taste her wet pussy, not because she wants you to do it. Basically, just take control and enjoy yourself. If a girl is taking off her clothes with you, clearly she is interested in you; you have no need to prove yourself any further. Get that thought into your head, because 1) the more you think about your dick, the less excited you're going to be, and 2) because its true.

Especially if the girl you're banging is experienced, I can virtually assure you that you are neither the first, nor the last person that shes had this happen with. Its a weird paradox that the less you think about it, the better it will be. And soon enough, before you know it, you'll be pounding her ass silly.

Post: #5

Thanks for all the advice guys! Glad to know I'm not the only one. Will definitely try some of the things you guys suggested. I too think it's all mental, and just a matter of confidence and that will just come with more experience. I will just have to forget about these experiences. Like RDF said just think about how I want to devour that pussy and not stress.

Post: #6

There are a heap of threads on this very subject here on the forum OP.

Here's one off the top of my head:

/thread-41337.html

Post: #7

Happens to everyone, especially more with new chicks. If I feel even the slightest bit nervous, I take a viagra (have one in my wallet always) and proceed to fuck. Usually we fuck multiple times that day/night, so by the next time she comes over, i'm already comfortable with the body having filled all her holes previously.

-CD

Post: #8

I had this problem often when I was 22. A few girls in a row. Never ended up banging any of them even though the tip was right there...

getting girls naked was incredibly challenging at this age for me. when I finally got them naked, there was just way too much pressure to perform. "this is finally the moment."

I got over by just enjoying myself 100% and not caring about her. It took some practice with one girl to get over this. All I did though was focus on how good she felt - everywhere. Slowly, but exponentially, over time I lasted longer and longer every time we had sex.

I just acted like it wasn't a big deal, and wasn't insecure about it, even though I knew I was not doing a good job in bed.

I was secretly embarrassed, but never let it show. I faked it til I made it.

Never again in the past 5 years have I had that problem, same with endurance. Once in a while one slips out early, but no big deal.