Post: #1

Hi everyone,

I guess I'm making this thread to vent out more than anything, but I'd really like to get your honest opinion about what I did and said.

I practiced Krav Maga for nearly 2 years and really enjoyed the ride.
It made me more confident and able to know my own strengths (and weaknesses).

Last year, there was 1 girl regularly coming to the lessons, small but not afraid of pain : I could train with her without any problem, she never complained, everything was fine.

This year, 4 new girls joined the group (a bunch of 5s, fat asses wearing yoga pants), it took me some time to understand they weren't here to learn how to defend themselves, but rather have a nice gym session while being able to say on their FB/tweeter/stuff account they practiced a self defense activity.
I only clicked when I heard one say "I guess I lost 2.000 calories during this lesson".

Sparring with them was a chore: I just couldn't use ANY strength or they directly called the teacher to report me.
Of course, he would blame me, even if I didn't hurt the little princess at all.

Two events led to my expulsion:
- in the beginning of the year, while we were running, the teacher asked us to touch your own ass with our own feet. I pretended to touch one a the girls ass, which shocked all the white knights (BTW I didn't actually touch her fat ass, it was just a silly joke).
- last week while sparring with a snow flake I touched her with my fist (I can't call it a "punch", due to the minimal strength I used). She blamed me and I answered her, while smiling, that all women love to be dominated, especially in bed, so she was just pretending not to like our sparring.
This was said as a joke, clearly.

This last event has shocked the princess so much that 2 teachers had to make me a moral lesson about how I had to talk to women like princesses and that they needed more protection than men.
At the same time, they added that women were the equal of men, and could defend themselves as well as men (I never said anything about that, don't know why they wanted to talk abouth this).
Despite the clear contradiction, I smiled and said I understood what they were saying, I just didn't believe it was true.

So ended my 2 years of Krav Maga.
I think I'm going to practice MMA Free Fight from now on, there shouldn't be any women in this kind of lessons.
Gotta take a practice lesson on monday to see if that's the case.

TL;DR: I sparred with women without holding entirely my strength and made one domination-sex joke, so the white knight teachers had to kick me out.

Be honest, tell me what you think.
Did I cross the line?
Thanks for reading, have a great day.

Post: #2

You should've left when your "teacher" started acting like a faggot and letting these unserious slobs stay in his class.

Post: #3

As we commonly see with any previously-male club, organization, business, company, or corporation--as more women join, the original goal or mission becomes abandoned in favor of catering to and coddling the women.

Post: #4

"She blamed me and I answered her, while smiling, that all women love to be dominated, especially in bed, so she was just pretending not to like our sparring.
This was said as a joke, clearly."

You've got to be either trolling or just have really bad game. . . this is just terrible.

Post: #5

The domination-sex joke makes you sound like you were fishing for a reaction (and you got one).

Post: #6

"You like it, don't you?" or used a friendly slap instead. If you made it a friendly slap and she did it back to you, you could build a friendly and teasing vibe. Not that it matters since you didn't want to hit it anyway.

Outright saying that "women like to be dominated in bed" is as if I approached with this opener. "Hi. I'm a Dark Traid Alpha. I'm an expert at game and I'll be spreading those thighs after two drinks. Can I top you off with a neg? You're fat." Separate your inner monologue and outward actions.


Duped this guy accidentally...

/thread-42481....=too+alpha

Otherwise I think that gym is too coddling for your desires. Arnold Schwarzenegger probably doesn't lift at Planet Fitness, right? You were too good for that gym to begin with, go find a Muay Thai or Boxing place. The more beatdown and filthy it is, the more legitimate. My main place for Wing Chun is scrappy, only some concrete, a wooden dummy and an old master. You show up and start punching that concrete for strong forearms and knuckles, then spar. Find something like that.

Post: #7

Troll thread or no game.

Post: #8

(03-19-2015 12:31 PM)Latan Wrote:  - last week while sparring with a snow flake I touched her with my fist (I can't call it a "punch", due to the minimal strength I used). She blamed me and I answered her, while smiling, that all women love to be dominated, especially in bed, so she was just pretending not to like our sparring.
This was said as a joke, clearly.

I'm reminded of the sexual harassment SNL skit with Tom Brady.

Basically, you'd have to be good looking or have exceptional game to pull off what you said without getting any heat from it. You can't just go around saying that "women love being dominated in bed" out in the open without a few feathers being ruffled, especially after some chick is pissed at you (regardless of what you did warrants her being pissed). And especially if there are several fat women in the room, who will use any excuse to project their bitterness.

It sucks, but that's where we are today. Hence the need for male-only spaces where a guy can just be a fucking guy.

Post: #9

Even though the sexual remark seems kind of off to my English-speaking ear (maybe it sounds more normal in French and we can't see your body language and vocal tone when you said it), I still get the impression that these are humorless cunts who can't even have a laugh.

And shame on the teacher for allowing these stupid princesses to take control of his class.

They should bend to HIS rules not the other way around.

Is this self defense or isn't it?

Krav Maga is supposed to be a highly aggressive means of defending yourself against (possibly armed), possibly mutliple attackers.

What the fuck you gonna do then, when you spent 2 years doing feel good yoga masquerading as krav maga because the teacher was afraid of offending a group of princesses, and you get fucked up in a real life situation?

Slightly related: I've always found girls in Brazilian jiu jitsu class to be really annoying.

They like to subtly pit guys against each other and attention whore, and they create all sorts of fucking drama that distracts from the purpose of being in the class in the first place.

And all but the best female grapplers get destroyed by dudes whom they significantly outrank.

Post: #10

Both these jokes just sounds painful and cringe worthy in my mind. It sounds like some sort of beta joke played on a shitty sitcom to a laugh track or something.

That said. Are you there to flirt with the fat asses, as you called them, or to learn a martial art? As the saying goes, don't shit where you eat. My .02

Post: #11

(03-19-2015 12:31 PM)Latan Wrote:  - in the beginning of the year, while we were running, the teacher asked us to touch your own ass with our own feet. I pretended to touch one a the girls ass, which shocked all the white knights (BTW I didn't actually touch her fat ass, it was just a silly joke).

- last week while sparring with a snow flake I touched her with my fist (I can't call it a "punch", due to the minimal strength I used). She blamed me and I answered her, while smiling, that all women love to be dominated, especially in bed, so she was just pretending not to like our sparring.
This was said as a joke, clearly.

While I think there are some annoying factors here, this is the way I think the blame breaks down:

• Women invading male space: 10%
• White knighting from instructors: 5%
• Stupid remarks, probably delivered with an autistic tone or persistent eye contact: 50%
• Thirst: 20%
• Shitting where you eat: 15%
  

In other words, you're mostly to blame--to the tune of 85%, maybe more. Those were some bonehead moves--at best--even if you delivered them perfectly, which I know you didn't. More likely, they're either thirsty comments (by your own admission the girls are 5s) or actual attempts to make the chicks uncomfortable. Reading between the lines of your write-up tells me you lack some social graces.

There's a point where you have accept that this is society and that women go to things that aren't necessarily optimal for them. There's also a point where you have to understand these guys are running a business and they can't have some "alpha" harassing the customers to make some kind of point.

As noted above, this is monumentally bad game.

(And we don't use textspeak in this forum.)

Post: #12

It's worse than monumentally bad game.

I hate to say this but I would clamp down on this kind of shit from one of my martial arts students if he behaved this way.

Mostly cause it could cost me a lot of £££.

Post: #13

(03-19-2015 12:59 PM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  Slightly related: I've always found girls in Brazilian jiu jitsu class to be really annoying.

They like to subtly pit guys against each other and attention whore, and they create all sorts of fucking drama that distracts from the purpose of being in the class in the first place.

And all but the best female grapplers get destroyed by dudes whom they significantly outrank.

BJJ girls are some of the only students I see who show up for the entire class and still manage to avoid breaking a sweat. Mostly they sit around (in their pink gis) and chit-chat. I actively avoid rolling with them. They get mad if it's obvious you're going easy on them but they also get mad if you roll with them like they were a guy because then they think you're being too rough.

Post: #14

(03-19-2015 12:31 PM)Latan Wrote:  Be honest, tell me what you think.
Did I cross the line?
Thanks for reading, have a great day.

OK. will be honest.

In a "normal" society, nothing you said would be considered out of school.
But you don't live in a normal society...you live in the anglo west. AND, you were dealing with young women, the most emotional, hormone-laden group of crazies on the planet, in a country that caters to them. And so your behavior was very, very foolish. But don't sweat it, we've all made similar mistakes. Be GRATEFUL you learned this lesson in a workout class, not school or work where it really could've hurt your life. And don't do it again!!

Post: #15

Nothing about your situation surprises me at all. Sounds like a social train wreck.

Post: #16

(03-19-2015 01:09 PM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  [*]Stupid remarks, probably delivered with an autistic tone or persistent eye contact: 50%

It's Rain Man Game!



"All women love to be dominated, especially in bed, so she was just pretending not to like our sparring."

Post: #17

Agreed with Tuth you reek of bad game and thirst coupled with bad social skills. You were the one making jokes and not taking things seriously by your own remarks. If you honestly cared about the martial art you wouldn't have given those girls the time of day and just lightly sparred with them if you were forced too. The fact that you even gave the supposed 5s your attention is laugh and cringeworthy in and of itself.

Post: #18

Surely there must be another Krav Maga gym.

Post: #19

(03-19-2015 01:19 PM)Renzy Wrote:  

(03-19-2015 12:59 PM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  Slightly related: I've always found girls in Brazilian jiu jitsu class to be really annoying.

They like to subtly pit guys against each other and attention whore, and they create all sorts of fucking drama that distracts from the purpose of being in the class in the first place.

And all but the best female grapplers get destroyed by dudes whom they significantly outrank.

BJJ girls are some of the only students I see who show up for the entire class and still manage to avoid breaking a sweat. Mostly they sit around (in their pink gis) and chit-chat. I actively avoid rolling with them. They get mad if it's obvious you're going easy on them but they also get mad if you roll with them like they were a guy because then they think you're being too rough.

Exactly this. I hate going with women for this reason. There was a brown belt who gave me attitude once because she thought I was going easy on her. The next time we went up vs. eachother I gave her the rough treatment and pretty much destroyed her. Since then she avoids me like the plague. Doesn't even make eye contact when we shake hands after class.

Post: #20

OP, this was your fault. You didn't say anything terrible necessarily but your social calibration skills are definitely off. You have to know what women you can joke with like that and which you can't. I took Krav Maga too and I knew which women can roll with the punches and which can't. Some women love teasing and sexual innuendo, and some will sue you for it. It's up to you to know who you're dealing with and that takes social calibration.

Post: #21

Ah you have those awkward moments, you live and learn. I have a very dry sense of humour and it has caused unintended offence before.

I hear you on the Krav Maga situation, there were a couple of women doing it who I had respect for, as they took it seriously. But then there were others who were completely disengaged, didn't even practice the moves on each other. While they were getting offended by me and my sparring partners swearing grunts we were making.

Post: #22

I did martial arts and frequently heard instructors talk about how girls can be tough too. The girls would start to believe it because guys would take it easy on them when sparring but as soon as a guy actually put his weight behind a punch girls would cry and have a mini meltdown. Instructors would berate the male students for going "too hard," something they would never say if two dudes were going at it.

We're supposed to be egalitarian with respect to women's combat abilities but never reveal to them how weak they truly are, otherwise you're a dick.

Post: #23

I agree with Tut's "culpability breakdown" in his post above. The apportionment of fault rings true to me.

There were contributing factors in your expulsion that you did not cause, but the majority of the blame falls on your shoulders.

You simply can't do this sort of thing in today's environment: mock sexual touching, suggestive statements, or oafish jokes. These women are just waiting for you to do something like this, so they can have the satisfaction of running you out.

The better thing would have been to ignore them completely, and keep the hell away from them. They're trouble, and can do you nothing but trouble. You acted like a fool and paid the price; be glad it wasn't something worse.

Personally, I would have bailed as soon as the character of the gym changed from a true men's sparring gym to a hug-and-cuddle playpen for fat bitches.

Lesson learned.

.

Post: #24

Thanks for your answers, liked the honesty and loved the Rainman pic.

I should have precised that I didn't hit on those girls, was there to train myself not to game someone.
That's why I told shitty jokes, 'cause I didn't have anything to loose and it couldn't have any effect on me (well I was wrong on this one too haha).
Lesson learned.

PS: sorry Tuth for textspeak, will pay attention next time.

Post: #25

(03-19-2015 03:44 PM)Lucky Wrote:  Instructors would berate the male students for going "too hard," something they would never say if two dudes were going at it.

We're supposed to be egalitarian with respect to women's combat abilities but never reveal to them how weak they truly are, otherwise you're a dick.

If you're slick, you pull the instructor aside after class one day and say you "feel uncomfortable" sparring with a woman. Ask to fight only the male opponents in the class. You can use the excuse you've laid out here ("I feel like I would be expected to go less hard on her or that some accidental hard hit would be interpreted more seriously than it would with a male opponent. That, or I'll subconsciously go less hard without trying. It's a lose-lose situation I've seen some of my friends at other studios have trouble with."). Or, you can ham it up and use the white-knight excuse ("I was taught to never hit a woman").

If they won't accommodate your needs, you can take your business elsewhere. You probably wouldn't be part of a studio that's that female-centric anyway. Just tell them--if they refuse to take your concern seriously--that you have no choice but go elsewhere and make the comment on their Yelp page (for other men with similar concerns about potential dojos), and then do a calm, collected write-up (not some angry screed) that isn't a wall of text.

Use your head to fight bullshit like this. Don't just bottle it up.