Post: #1

Hi everyone. Lurked here for a while, first time poster.

The situation I'm interested in getting advice for is something like this. I don't know all of my Facebook friends in real life (does anyone?). Some of them are people I met on various music related forums over the years; the particular places I met them have gone but we still keep in contact via FB. A group of about 10 of us have been pretty close over the past few years on FB and are in a chat group that most of us use on a daily basis. There are maybe 6 women, 4 dudes in this group. We're all in our mid 30s - most of the group members are nowhere near my geographic location.

It's been fun for a while - people would use the chat to make jokes and bitch about random stuff and let loose with things that you wouldn't want to post to your real life friends and acquaintances. Even so, people there usually didn't go into great detail about their personal lives other than to bitch about not having a date this weekend or that they were leaving their girlfriend/boyfriend, and so on.

Until some of the unattached 30-something women discovered OKCupid/Tinder.

Now the chat has started to devolve into a daily discussion about the various dudes that these women have messaging them on these dating sites. It's been an interesting insight in some ways - at least two of the women in the group are very well educated and would probably describe themselves as feminists, but use the same old pejorative terms about guys who message them that a 19 year old HS teenybopper might: "oh, he's so short!" "ew, he looks like a creeper." "My eyes are rolling so hard." "He does that thing where he shaves his head to hide his hairline, that's gross." (after the same woman once told me that I shouldn't worry so much about my own hair loss.)

Also, many of the messages these women get are from very good looking guys, I guess they would be 8's or 9's. Younger than them, with a full head of hair and totally ripped. The women in this group are probably 4's at best, with maybe one 6. They know that these guys are in it for a pump and dump and have even directly stated as much, framing it in a way to make it seem as if this turns them off. Except I know that one of them has already gone for such a dude and I've seen the fallout.

It's too bad. Before they got onto dating sites many of them seemed like cool people, and I had fun chatting with them over the years. But now it seems they're getting older and the biological clock is ticking, and after going on these dating site their hypergamy has been unleashed. I'm starting to get fairly disgusted and would like to bow out gracefully; I don't want to just dump the chat as I'll have have to deal with a bunch of uncomfortable questions. It also makes me look like a butthurt chump. Any thoughts on how to disengage with dignity[/align]?

Post: #2

Post: #3

Turn off updates on the chat and you can save face and not have to learn which simp is treating them to full course meals and receiving a handshake in return.

Post: #4

Was starting to think this is a troll post, but I'll give the benefit of the doubt.

Just go ghost on them. Why say anything?

Post: #5

(03-26-2015 02:37 PM)CleanSlate Wrote:  Was starting to think this is a troll post, but I'll give the benefit of the doubt.

Just go ghost on them. Why say anything?

No troll. It's just that there are some folks there I'd like to talk to. And also that I've know some of these people for years, and managed to develop an attachment to them. Some of them were cool people before they learned how to swipe left.

Sorry. I guess I'm soft like that.

Post: #6

Let rip on the bitches. They sound dreadful.

Post: #7

It's a form of attention whoring on their part. Period

Counter with your own tales of hot, sweaty nights of online conquests

Otherwise, single out the people you want to talk to and just - call them

Post: #8

(03-26-2015 03:00 PM)Lizard King Wrote:  Let rip on the bitches. They sound dreadful.

Unfortunately, as they've aged they have become more dreadful. When I was in my 20s it wasn't difficult to find attractive girls to date or just chat with that were fairly laid back.

In my 30s now it seems any woman in my age range over a 5 lookswise who is not severely overweight has a fuck-you attitude that could melt steel.

So it goes.

Post: #9

(03-26-2015 03:37 PM)XPQ21 Wrote:  

(03-26-2015 03:00 PM)Lizard King Wrote:  Let rip on the bitches. They sound dreadful.

Unfortunately, as they've aged they have become more dreadful. When I was in my 20s it wasn't difficult to find attractive girls to date or just chat with that were fairly laid back.

In my 30s now it seems any woman in my age range over a 5 lookswise who is not severely overweight has a fuck-you attitude that could melt steel.

So it goes.

In reality, that fuck-you attitude that these undesirable women display is merely a defense mechanism

They present a hard front to the world, fully knowing their lowly position in the eyes of desirable men

They act as if they could give a shit less, but really they care the most

Post: #10

You participate
You troll overly
You troll subtly
You appear and reappear
You take over

If this were a dinner party and these bitches were harping about some bullshit you'd speak in a loud voice to others.

If you're unwilling to do what is necessary, you deserve what you get.

WIA

Post: #11

What the fuck are you doing with your life?

Print this shit out and read it to yourself in the mirror and ask if you are still a fucking man.

I predict the answer will scare you.

Post: #12

(03-26-2015 02:29 PM)XPQ21 Wrote:  Any thoughts on how to disengage with dignity[/align]?

The entire answer to your elaborate question lies in this question itself grasshopper. So I fixed it for you so you and emphasized the answer in bold. Let's call this the "first step."

"A̶n̶y̶ ̶t̶h̶o̶u̶g̶h̶t̶s̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶h̶o̶w̶ ̶t̶o̶ disengage w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶d̶i̶g̶n̶i̶t̶y̶?"

That's gonna have some baked in dignity for ya..

And then come back and let's start with either trying to date them off line or even better, cold approach more women off line. The latter we can definitely help with.

Post: #13

Why are you even listening to these lizards drivel ?

I would of left that conversation a long time ago, all it is, is a support group for washed up unwanted lizards dude.

Post: #14

Dude, you need to get a grip.

Why the fuck do you care at all?

Seriously.

Post: #15

(03-26-2015 05:11 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  What the fuck are you doing with your life?

Print this shit out and read it to yourself in the mirror and ask if you are still a fucking man.

I predict the answer will scare you.

Spent the last couple years recovering from a severe illness. I was in so much pain at some points I seriously considered suicide.

I'm not in much pain anymore. During the bad time, though, I suppose I relied on online contacts for socialization more than others would've - being in severe pain is usually not conducive to meeting people at clubs, or for applying "game", or unfortunately for much of anything.

I already know all there is to know about being scared. Fortunately, it seems that even after this "setback" my dick still appears to work OK. Am I still a fucking man? I hope so. I guess time will tell.

In any event, you and the other gentlemen here have made your position clear, though perhaps it didn't take into account my particular circumstance (not your fault as I didn't initially offer it.) I appreciate your candor.

Post: #16

^It's great you are recovering. I hope you have realized by now that life is too short to waste it on bull shit.

I don't even talk to women unless (a) I fuck them (b) I try to fuck them or (c ) i have to talk to them at work because it pays my bills.

(c ) is kept to the bare minimum.

(b) is one or maximum 2 dates, then fuck me or fuck off.

Even (a) is minimized. I'd rather watch netflix with my regular girl than talk to her.

There is absolutely no time in my life to listen to girls' stories about them fucking (or not fucking) other guys even though I have quite a lot of spare time.

Post: #17

Kick them hoes out the group.