Post: #1

The last Number One song of the '80s was a politically-themed rocker by Billy Joel called "We Didn't Start the Fire," which namechecked news events from the '50s to that time.

Thanks to Heartiste, I came across a brilliant parody of that tune that rewrites the lyrics using today's media-generated controversies. This is from the AutoAdmit.com Web site and posted today by someone who bills himself as "Guy with PhD in community research on rape culture (CharlesXII)." (Link will lead you to the original post -- I want to make sure the guy is recognized for this.)

Since we deal with pretty much every topic mentioned in his new version, I thought everyone else would be equally amused by it, so I'm reposting. For those unfamiliar with the tune, the original Billy Joel vid is at the end. Someone should think about re-recording it this way:

Mattress Girl, UVA, Rolling Stone, Mike Sam’s Gay
Jena Six, Duke Lacrosse, Jameis Winston’s ho
Trayvon Martin, Zimmerman, Eric Garner, Ferguson
Bradley Manning, Chelsea Manning, GMO’s must go
Sandra Fluke, slut walks, Larry Summers, girls with cocks
Fracking, Occupy, Tookie Williams shouldn’t die
Pussy Riot, Ray Rice, Getting fat is not a vice
Macklemore, Wendy Davis, Citizen’s United

We couldn’t stop the shitlibs
They are always yearning
For a world that’s burning
We couldn’t stop the shitlibs
Now we have to fight them
Cuz we can’t silence them

Lena Dunham, Ezra Klein, Upworthy, Assad’s fine
Brokeback Mountain, Hashtags, “Legitimate Rape.”
Benham brothers, Black brunch, GamerGate, Credit crunch
Sa-Lon-Dot-Com, Proposition 8
Die-ins, Redskins, ‘Release SeaWorld’s dolphins'
Donald Sterling, Carbon tax, Abolish every all-male frat,
Gitmo, Istanbul, Hands Up, Don’t Shoot
Safe space, Affleck’s Face, “American Sniper”

We couldn’t stop the shitlibs
They are always yearning
For a world that’s burning
We couldn’t stop the shitlibs
Now we have to fight them

Cuz we can’t silence them
Brendan Eich can go to Hell, Roger Goodell’s NFL
Tesla, Pajama Boy, ‘I Need Feminism...’ Signs
Strap-Ons, Hybrid Cars, Berkeley race wars
Mugging victims shouldn’t fight, ‘Let’s hope the Boston Bomber’s white’
Hobby Lobby, “Milk,” “Her”, Fake receipts from Dayna
Boycotting Ender, Facebook’s fifty genders
UKIP, Duck Dynasty, Intersectionality
Chubby chasers, Rob Lowe, Hating Charlie Hebdo

We couldn’t stop the shitlibs
They are always yearning
For a world that’s burning
We couldn’t stop the shitlibs
Now we have to fight them
Cuz we can’t silence them

Koch brothers, Adelson, Drones bombing Pakistan
#YesAllWomen, Scott Walker’s Act Ten
"Dear White People”, Tasers are too lethal
Transracial otherkin, Tim Tebow shouldn’t win
RuPaul, Keystone X, 6-year-olds can change their sex
Chik-fil-a, not okay, what else do I have to say

We couldn’t stop the shitlibs
They are always yearning
For a world that’s burning
We couldn’t stop the shitlibs
Now we have to fight them
Cuz we can’t silence them

Wise Latinas, Vaccines, Paul Lepage’s Vaseline
Rim jobs, Laverne Cox, Bridgegate, Murdoch
Kick Jews out of Palestine, Obama gets a Peace Prize
Nuke concessions to Iran, London is Afghanistan
Fetuses are not alive, College rape is one in five
Student debt, control rents, cis, trans, The One Percent
Homophobes can’t own a store, B’More’s under martial law
Never-ending trigger warns, I can't take it anymore

We couldn’t stop the shitlibs
They are always yearning
For a world that’s burning
We couldn’t stop the shitlibs
But when the West is gone
Will they still burn on, and on, and on, and on

We couldn’t stop the shitlibs
They are always yearning
For a world that’s burning
We couldn’t stop the shitlibs
Now we have to fight them
Cuz we can’t silence them