Post: #51

OP, I live in a god damn fishing village. Tuscon, Arizona is a relative pussy paradise. I still manage to pick up the local tarts though.

Your looks aren't the problem. Saw the vid..you over enunciate your words. Makes you seem tightly wound up. Like another dude said, you're giving off a Mormon-esque vibe.

Chill out. Get a face tat, or something to make you edgier. Girls don't like a guy who's more conservative looking than their Dad.

Post: #52

OP, since you're serious about changing and can handle well-intentioned advice like a man, I will also add my opinion.

Are you interesting? You have done a lot of things that others may find interesting. But the girls you're talking to weren't there, so they only experience what you make them experience. How you tell a story is much more important than what happened. Some guys can make a trip to the grocery store seem like a badass adventure. Others make fighting a bear sound dull.

You don't seem cool. No offense. The first thing I thought was Mormon and we don't even have those in Europe. No reason to repeat the same point a million times, but it's going to be the most important thing to address. You wear a helmet on your bike. Very smart but very uncool. Girls can spot that in the littlest things, so you can't consciously alter them all. When you change the underlying attitude, the coolness will come as well.

Flip the script. Very common in the beginning, you're raising your value and decide a girl should logically like you. You even display your value so she should see it, right? What she sees is a guy that is trying to impress her from the start, trying to win her over without knowing her, without her having won him over. You are already convinced of her value, because you just want to see her naked. Same here. But that's not how it works.

Try this: Her looks have only earned her an opportunity, now you have to see if she actually measures up. That's why I think a high standard is essential, just not only about looks. What do you desire and require? Ask her about those things. Be dismissive if she doesn't meet your standard, verbally or nonverbally. Show more interest when she does measure up. "Oh, she loves to babysit her nephew and niece. I like that, so I will open up my body language."

Agree on the intenseness. I assume that when you talk to people, you keep looking at them. And that you're a smart, logical guy that thinks in problems and solutions. Me too, and after realizing that other people aren't like that I learned how to turn that down a bit. Because that helps achieving my social goals. Sit at an angle, look away when they're talking, learn how to talk about nonsense, yell things like a frat boy. All not logical, right? Talking is about communicating efficiently for many guys on this forum. But for others, especially cute girls, tone and subtext means a lot more than the words spoken.

Good luck to you.

Post: #53

(05-30-2015 05:53 PM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  -Join a dance class. If there s any hobby in the world that s good for men except lifting, this is it. You will learn an invaluable skill to woe girls as well as getting comfortable with the idea of touching them and feeling their titties on your chest. Join a club and ask as many partners to dance as possible.

I heavily second this bit of advice. Especially latin dance, of which there is a solid community in Arizona. It's completely socially acceptable to approach anyone in a latin club to dance, and it will help you start noticing how to communicate physically with women without having to talk to them.

OP may also want to take up hiking as a hobby. Pretty much every decent looking female I've ever talked to in AZ has been into hiking. Nothing crazy or intense, mainly just mildly taxing walks around the little mountains in the area. Go to one of the breastaurants and find some cute waitresses you like and ask them where the good places to hike are. Make it non-threatening (you are not asking them to meet you there, just saying you are new to the area and want to know), and they will be happy to clue you in to where they (and by extension the other babes) go.

Post: #54

(06-01-2015 06:25 AM)sixsix Wrote:  When you change the underlying attitude, the coolness will come as well.
...
... tone and subtext means a lot more than the words spoken.

THAT is excellent advice. Couldn't be phrased more clearly and concisely. Inner game and its importance in two sentences. Well said.

Post: #55

Today I got 'medically intimate' with a 9. In a hospital bed.

I'm a student in the medical field. The current topic of study is full body assessments, and this week we are practicing on each other in a clinical setting.

It's 8 AM, I walk in to class tired, find an examination table, and we're instructed to partner up. The cutest girl in the class, a Thai-Filipina mix, 9/10 and maybe two years younger than me, comes up and asks to be my partner. I'd seen her before, but not yet talked to her. I told her she can be my partner, and she volunteers to be the mock-patient first, leaving me to be the mock-examiner. We are instructed to draw the curtain, and me and her are suddenly really close and alone in the tiny space around the bed.

I immediately regretted not reviewing notes for today. I had an incomplete understanding of the material, and as such lacked some confidence in what I'd be practicing on her body. I asked her if she'd reviewed. "Nope," she smiled.

It was an awkward moment when we opened the book together with a 'How-do-I-do-this' mentality. I scanned the text really fast, pretended like I knew it, and told her to lay back in the bed and lift up her gown to expose her stomach area.

I began an abdominal assessment on her, listening to and feeling every inch between her waistline and her sternum. I explained to her I was auscultating for intestinal peristalsis and blah blah blah but what I was really thinking was, "If she notices my erection I will probably be expelled from university."

Next came the hip joints. I practiced feeling the sides of her hips and had her move her legs in different ways, before moving down her thighs. By this point, with me leaning over her in her underwear squeezing her legs, I was trying to focus really, really intently on the examination. If I let my mind wander to her pussy, covered up by only a millimeter of skintight black spandex, she would read my mind like a billboard and it'd all be over. I moved down her knees to her ankles and tested the lower reflexes of the feet and ankles.

From here it got better. I next had her sit up on the edge of the bed and stood in front of her. "Hold out your hands," I said, and she complied. I put her hands in mine and began feeling all the joints, from the wrist to the fingertips. The whole time we chatted about the course material with soft eye contact, hands in hands.

I kept going with the rest of the body, and then... we switched. I became the patient.

I'm suddenly laying in a hospital bed with nothing but short-shorts on, and was really, really glad I read that Roosh post on using baking soda as deodorant. No smell at all on my entire body. ++++ to Roosh.

She's in full scrubs, which I recently heard is the #1 male sex fantasy, and begins her assessment on me: palpating (feeling for abnormalities beneath the skin) my entire body shy of butt, lower back, upper thighs and genitalia, of course. She's not completely competent and a little nervous, but undeniably moves with more comfort and confidence after assessing my hands, hands in hands again, and after shining the light in my eyes and intensely observing my pupils. Our eyes locked for a full minute - twice - during the optical assessment.

She puts on the stethoscope and starts listening all over my abdomen. She puts in onto my stomach for a little, and, with a slight smirk, says "Your bowels sound really active." I wanted to kill myself for eating beans for dinner last night.

After two hours, the instructor pops her head in through the curtain and says we can switch partners if we want to, so we can practice with other students. I'm still in nothing but tiny shorts, my bare chest and hairy man-thighs filling the bed. The girl looks at me, I look at her, and she shrugs, and says, "Let's just keep working together." She has a very calm and relaxed demeanor replacing the awkward nervousness when we started.

I've been working in the medical field for a few years. The vast majority of girls in the field, especially the good-looking ones, prioritize relationships far more than possibly any other career field in America. Marriage might as well be enlightenment. The other female students I had talked to in my class mentioned their boyfriends - to me and to other girls - sometimes before exchanging names with each other. Even though female medical staff are routinely well above average intelligence and make a ton of $$$, they still consistently crave a 'provider' type of man.

Yet I'd been with this girl for three hours now, chatting constantly, at least one of us 80% naked at all times, and she'd asked me a handful of personal questions, took several weak baits I dropped, and said nothing about a boyfriend - she didn't have a ring either.

After the class ended, I asked her to hang around a bit to keep practicing, as we have a monster exam on this material in a few days. She says of course, and we keep going for another 45 minutes.

I tell her I have to go soon, and her basic response is, "OK, I have to go now, anyway." We split and she goes home to masturbate to images of my semi-naked body in a hospital bed. No, I'm kidding, she probably went to make a phone call or send a text, as that's what college girls seem to do with all their free time.

I didn't game her. I am a novice, anyway, and am in a program with her and only a few dozen other students, together in each and every class, for the next year. Failure would be mean a heck of a lot of gossip and tons of really awkward classes together. I think in the future I will eventually try to get her to study together in a common and safe environment, like a library, where we can move into non-academic and more personal conversation. I'll see what happens from there. I have class with her 4-12 hours a day every day. No rush.

Yea, I'm new to game and had fun with this minor instance. It's rather insignificant to the serious players on this forum.

But it's harder to imagine anything hotter than a HB in scrubs 'assessing' your 'full body' for three hours.

Post: #56

(06-01-2015 11:48 PM)21K4TG Wrote:  I didn't game her. I am a novice, anyway, and am in a program with her and only a few dozen other students, together in each and every class, for the next year. Failure would be mean a heck of a lot of gossip and tons of really awkward classes together. I think in the future I will eventually try to get her to study together in a common and safe environment, like a library, where we can move into non-academic and more personal conversation. I'll see what happens from there. I have class with her 4-12 hours a day every day. No rush.

Yea, I'm new to game and had fun with this minor instance. It's rather insignificant to the serious players on this forum.

But it's harder to imagine anything hotter than a HB in scrubs 'assessing' your 'full body' for three hours.

Good experience, but one thing. With a situation like that you do not leave it to chance and don't hope that something happens.

The next time you have her singled out or get her number just ask her for a date. The sooner you do this the better. If she refuses, then just say cool and that is the end of the story for now. She may or may not show interest in you in the future if you work on yourself, date some hot girls etc.

The reason why you do it rather sooner than later is because you do not want to be friend-zoned and it is a masculine virtue to approach a girl as soon as possible and not wait around. Women are acutely aware of that. There is even a consensus that you approach a girl in a club as soon as you are aware of a girl.

If she refuses you by using any excuse like
"I don't date my colleagues."
"We can go out in a group, sure." etc.

Then just say "Nah. I wanted to get to know you personally. That's cool. Let's stay colleagues." If she offers a group date thing, then it is paramount to refuse that.

The awkwardness is only in the beginning as she may test you out whether you behave in a butt-hurt way. Be extra cheerful and upbeat. Soon she will see that you are cool about it and move on.

Most experienced guys would have likely started joking heavily during the examination and afterwards may have judged her interest sufficiently.

In any case - do it as soon as possible. The long befriend-first approach does not work.

Post: #57

(06-01-2015 11:48 PM)21K4TG Wrote:  I didn't game her. I am a novice, anyway, and am in a program with her and only a few dozen other students, together in each and every class, for the next year. Failure would be mean a heck of a lot of gossip and tons of really awkward classes together. I think in the future I will eventually try to get her to study together in a common and safe environment, like a library, where we can move into non-academic and more personal conversation. I'll see what happens from there. I have class with her 4-12 hours a day every day. No rush.

Yea, I'm new to game and had fun with this minor instance. It's rather insignificant to the serious players on this forum.

But it's harder to imagine anything hotter than a HB in scrubs 'assessing' your 'full body' for three hours.

I understand you're excited because your opportunities have been limited but if you're in the medical field, do NOT shit where you eat, do NOT "game" girls at your place of work, if anyone in the useless legions that make up your school/hospital's HR department catches wind of it they will do everything they can to fuck you over.

Post: #58

Get a pro photographer and get one really good face/body shot, find your coolest pictures from all of your travels, and hit up OKC and Tinder. Look for girls who are into travel and outdoor adventure type stuff, and start the conversation about their pic in front of the Louvre or riding a camel, etc.

I've found travel to be a good topic of converstion and a quick path to connecting with chicks that have traveled, or at least want to. If you can translate your travels into cool stories, at least in my experience, it can be a great way to demonstrate value and break the ice on a online opener or on a first date.

I tend to do better with girls who are into traveling or at least go camping from time to time.. and I have more fun with them anyway. It seems like that type of girl, even if they're not the 9's or 10's you may desire, will be the most natural and easiest for you to start out with.

As you get better at game, you will learn to sleep with women outside of your 'natural' category. In fact, that is the whole point to game. Once you get some success online, cold approacing might get a little easier (it did for me).

Also, since your in AZ, try getting into rock climbing.

Post: #59

I think it would be helpful to spend some time meeting other guys to go out with. This can help you learn to talk more like a "normal" person in public. When I was new to game I had similar challenges with my body language and speech patterns that tended to turn women off. You might seem cool but come across as socially awkward which is one of the biggest "anti-game" factors. If you can learn to emulate masculine behaviors and adapt them to your own it will go a long way towards your success with women.

In the video I picked up on the fact that you seemed hyper aware of your own annunciation (despite the fact that you are trying to communicate with Chinese people) so I can only assume you are very self-conscious... probably a fellow introvert trying to overcome many different factors and obstacles. I highly recommend self observation, reflection, and further research on body language and speech. I don't have any experience personally with self-recording but I can only imagine it can help.

Yes, your travel experience is cool to the average girl. No, that alone will never get you laid. Zelcorpion listed a number of recommendations on basics and game on the first page, and I highly advise reading up and internalizing more. You've got to change the way you think, and that doesn't happen by reading or memorization alone. It takes practice. Practice approaching more women, practice talking to women, practice thinking about different scenarios and objectively analyzing where you might have gone wrong. It's not about memorizing lines, it is about learning how to respond and make women "feel" something. You get that with experience and a lot of trial and error.

Good luck.

Post: #60

Just got around to watching the video. The way you enunciate is weird. You're kind of a nerd, but that's ok. You are super passionate, but it comes off very pretentious. Lose the ego.

Post: #61

I'm going to go the other way on this topic, and I hope no one takes this personally, because my response is not intended to flame anybody on a personal level.

First, I don't like the title of this topic. If this guy's reality is that "guys don't get laid" i.e. "he can't get laid", then that's his reality.

When the fuck did it become my job to prove to another man that a woman who he doesn't know would potentially get naked with him and have sex with him after a conversation? A date? A dance?

I mean my reality, is my reality, and his reality is his reality.

Just because we don't have certain experiences doesn't mean they don't exist. I've never been flaked on, I've never had a woman accuse of any sexual impropriety, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen to other people.

So, this whole convince this guy of something, I don't see it as my job to do that, if you want proof of something, prove it to youself, because no one here can say anything that will provide you with that proof.

Second, we need to stop giving general self-improvement advice, because everybody's different. It's become common for every self-improvement message to include something about "hitting the gym". Look, hitting the gym is a lifestyle choice. It's not something you do for a couple of months while you're in monk mode, and then when you decide to surface back to society, it's over.

If a guy is serious about wanting to change how he looks, and specifically, the physical makeup of his body, then he will decide on his own to hit the gym, he won't need one of us to tell him to do that.

Most people that you tell to hit the gym, will never see the inside. A small percentage of them may hit the gym, but it will be a temporary change. Everybody is not in love with the iron, everybody is not looking for the byproducts of being dedicated to the iron, nor are they willing to put in the time, energy, and money that goes into that.

Also you have to understand that when you tell someone to hit the gym, you're also telling them to change what they do in the kitchen, because you can't talk about the gym without talking about nutrition.

Muscles are made in the kitchen, anybody who has dedicated themselves to the gym, and in the process has built the type of figure that would make a woman wet herself with one touch, one caress, will tell you that.

"Join a dance class" is another one that comes up in conversations like this one, yes, by all means, join a dance class, IF you like to fuckin' dance.

If dancing is not your thing, then why the fuck put in the time? Shit, if you like Asian girls, then learning how to salsa doesn't really make a lot of sense.

You have to figure out what it is in your life that you desire, the specifics, and then you look for the arenas that you can play in that will help you get there.

Anything that you make a choice to do, should be something that you're doing because you want to do it.

Everybody's not going to be coolest guy, you don't have to be coolest guy to get women, there are plenty of nerds, dorks, etc. who get their dicks wet, the difference between them and this guy, is that they've figured out how to make who they are work for them, this shit where we try to put guys into machines, push buttons, and they become completely different human beings is bullshit.

Anybody who wants to make that level of transformation, has to set out on that path on their own, and then once they're there, they can and should ask for consultation from similar, like-minded guys, until they do that, we're wasting our time.

Let this man figure out his own path, we could be laying down a path for him that he doesn't even want, and we'll know he doesn't really want it because he may walk it for a few minutes, meaning, he may go to the gym a couple times, he may take a salsa class, but he won't start logging his workouts, logging his meals in myfitnesspal, know what the dile que no is, know some of the subtle salsa tips like the angles you should hold your arms, the pressure of which you should hold your partner's hands, because he wasn't personally interested enough to get that deeply involved.

Post: #62

Jariel, I shared your sentiment. The more I get into the game the more I become less tolerant of guy's bullshit. In fact I tend to blame men and not women for the shit we are living in.

However, its important to not forget your fellow man. I dont know you jariel except for your contribution on this forum. I assume from all your posts that you have a solid foundation and a "take no shit" attitude.

But not all men are like that. Very few are born strong. Most will never be, but some, some of them just needed the right push to do what it takes.

Young men nowadays are confused and lost. They need guidance. What we should do is offer our hand and help as many as we can. Most of them neither need nor want it, but you never know how many lives you would save by giving someone the right push.

Passion and discipline can be trained and built. True, the most dedicated people will seek it out like you said, but most people didnt even consider the possibility of going gym/salsa at first. Like learning the alphabet you can teach them to love the iron and the music and the pussy that comes with it.

I was pathetic at first. At first I didnt like going to gym, I didnt want to be the center of attention. If you traveled back 2 years and tell me I would now be dancing and lifting 25 h/week and that I got most of my notches that way, I would think you are mad.

I didnt like the gym nor dancing at first. It hurts and feel awkward. But nothing ever feels good at first. After 3 months sometimes I want to go to dance just to dance and not giving a shit about bitches. And I cant live a week without lifting nowadays.

OP might or might not be a soul that could be saved. If not, his loss, but if he actually can be saved, the benefit of giving him the right push at the right time might flip his life around and it could mean the world to him. Lets not risk missing that chance, especially since all we need to do is write a few words online.

Post: #63

No one is forcing anyone to do anything. Guy comes here for advice (attitude notwithstanding), we provide our opinions based off our experiences.

Of course, it won't work for everyone but this is something which goes without saying, no need for these disclaimers.

Difference is, this guy is asking, we are not spontaneously giving him advice but I get how this whole post is quite extreme.

The other side of the coin is confirmation bias, he comes in and he sees something he agrees with, that ironically hasn't produced results for him, and he applies it into something which gives him results.

-devil's advocate over-(disclaimer ha!)

OP: There is lots of solid advice in here.

The only thing I will say is, get your desire right i.e. what do you want and why do you want it. Once that is done and you believe in it, your frame will auto-fix and you will put out what you want and attract what you deserve. A sense of entitlement is key here.

Like jariel mentioned, it's not our job to convince you of this. This is like asking us to convince you that it is harder to breathe underwater. Figure out your path, we can only advise on certain things based off our own varied experiences.

Post: #64

(05-30-2015 01:41 PM)Quintus Curtius Wrote:  Like a lot of guys (myself included) you might be taking these girls too seriously. They're not as impressed with our achievements as we are. Keep it light, playful, and dismissive.

I got this impression too.

You seem too serious. Remind me of Dr. Bruce (Dr. Spaz on the Adam Carolla podcast), kind of a nerd. This can be overcome though-- cool nerds exist.

Do other people find you funny? The key for me when I was first going out on my quest to get laid (after first discovering game) was to maintain a sense of humor. Learn to laugh at mistakes, and fuck with girls a little bit. Actually I often find that when all I do is fuck with girls with no real intention of getting laid I do better.

You said you have a grasp of the fundamentals of game. Remember that line from Mystery (or maybe the dude who wrote The Game) when he'd tell girls "I'm a disposable lighter repairman" when they'd ask what he'd do for a living. I think Roosh's variation is telling girls he's a watermelon farmer or some shit. In my experience, that is the key attitude when talking to girls. Keep it light, and push the interaction.

And just keep going. That post helped a lot when I first arrived in Europe. I approached girls almost every day for 3 months before I got my first bang.

Post: #65

Not going to sugar coat this: you don't really seem like a lot of fun to be around in that chinese interview. Girls want to have fun and party. Be the guy that is fun to be around by finding a more positive and fun outlook on things. Rather than trying to get laid, try to be having fun and keeping a positive outlook. When you do meet girls and are staying positive, they will be more receptive when you try to get them out on dates and into your bed.

This was a pretty big realization and game changer for me. Instead of trying to get laid, go about trying to have a more fun time doing what you are doing and taking joy in the day to day and moment to moment events in your life. That's my 2 cents.

Edit: you may want to see a shrink about anger management, if you think it is a problem. I see a shrink and have been for years. It helped.

Post: #66

Last week I saw a good friend for the first time in four years. He had gained at least 40 pounds and clearly entered the ugly realm of obesity.

To compensate, he was wearing abnormally baggy clothes, undoubtedly believing others would not see his obesity while in fact only projecting his insecurities about his own physical appearance.

We talked for three hours straight. We never mentioned his new health issues. I didn't have the tenacity to bring it up in conversation.

Instead, he's going to go through the rest of his life underestimating how people view him based on his physical appearance, when in actuality he could likely conquer his insecurities, refine his appearance and overall be happier if someone would lay it out to him simply and say, "You have a weight problem."

The beauty of this forum is that individuals have the opportunity to have their own flaws constructively critiqued in a very intense manner which is rarely, if ever, similarly critiqued by friends and family.

In my life, never has someone I never met walked up to me and bluntly said, "You're not cool. You need to change x and y." Never. In the past week on this forum I have been told such over a dozen times, and darn if this man who spent a year alone with a bicycle and a tent and exactly two pairs of underwear is now wearing an expensive zara wardrobe with gel in his hair on the way to jiu jitsu and tango classes.

No single individual 'owes' advice to anyone else. There are plenty of people that blaze their own way. But in reality, if humans did not pass knowledge on to each other, we would never have advanced as a species. A functioning society would never have formed in the absence of humans being able to depend on and utilize the knowledge and abilities of each other. Without sophisticated technologies like razors and shampoo and braces and condoms, we'd all still be banging reeking hirsute cavewomen on beds of straw - and just one single time, because then she'd be pregnant.

It is man's nature to want to do more than simply provide for his own individual self. Think back to evolutionary times, when males would go out hunting to find enough food to feed the entire tribe. A man didn't spear his own little rodent and say, "Hey guys I got my dinner, I'm heading back to camp." They - together - instead caught a surplus and brought it home to feed the tribe, and in doing so became manifestations of masculine values such as leadership, honor and respect. Most importantly, for the survival of the tribe, as the alpha males age, they absolutely had to pass their skills down to those younger or less experienced. No exceptions.

No one on this forum is forced to post. We all post, in one way or another to get better at something or push towards goals. ALL advice is just that: advice. Not mandates.

No one on here, an internet blog of significant anonymity, is dictating the path the other posters. Instead, as much of us have the similar goal (...women), we have similar strategies and similar tips for how to achieve that goal. It's how we grow as men, and it's how we grow as humans.

Asking the experts IS part of finding your own way. Finding the psychological stability to lay out your own intimate flaws to fellow men - e.g. this thread - is one individual's own attempt of finding his way. The voice of others DO matter.

If you're an expert on something and a student asks your advice, you don't have to respond. But every expert was once a student.

Post: #67

There's been some good advice but the biggest problem I see is that you don't know how to flirt. The example with the girls that complimented you, and the time you spent examining the girl on your course are perfect opportunities for flirting and getting a sexual vibe going with a girl.

Post: #68

(06-03-2015 04:37 PM)Kieran Wrote:  There's been some good advice but the biggest problem I see is that you don't know how to flirt. The example with the girls that complimented you, and the time you spent examining the girl on your course are perfect opportunities for flirting and getting a sexual vibe going with a girl.

You nailed it. I am fine with the kino part of flirting but struggle to tie smooth and fun words along with the touching.

I was assessing the front of a girl's chest in class, and paused and acted very puzzled. When I was sure I had her attention, I told her I was noticing 'large bilateral tumors' on either side of her chest. She looked really angry at first and hit my arm, then laughed and said, "Those are my boobs!" Tension broken.

From countless posts on here I am finding that slight, humorous teases or compliments regarding something about the girl - body or dress or lifestyle - are a highly effective way of flirting. Gotta keep trying in order to get better at it. Thanks for the pointer kieran.

Post: #69

(06-03-2015 04:21 PM)21K4TG Wrote:  Last week I saw a good friend for the first time in four years. He had gained at least 40 pounds and clearly entered the ugly realm of obesity.

To compensate, he was wearing abnormally baggy clothes, undoubtedly believing others would not see his obesity while in fact only projecting his insecurities about his own physical appearance.

We talked for three hours straight. We never mentioned his new health issues. I didn't have the tenacity to bring it up in conversation.

Instead, he's going to go through the rest of his life underestimating how people view him based on his physical appearance, when in actuality he could likely conquer his insecurities, refine his appearance and overall be happier if someone would lay it out to him simply and say, "You have a weight problem."

The beauty of this forum is that individuals have the opportunity to have their own flaws constructively critiqued in a very intense manner which is rarely, if ever, similarly critiqued by friends and family.

In my opinion if this guy is really as good a friend as you say, you owe it to him to find a subtle way to bring up the health issue.

"So, I've been going to [x] gym..." or "I'm training for a marathon in the fall..."

There are ways to break the ice, so to speak. Yes, the beauty of this forum is that it is a great place to share ideas and learn from each other. I still think as a culture we men do a poor job (not as poor as women) of bringing these issues up to our close friends and family.

Post: #70

(06-03-2015 05:33 PM)21K4TG Wrote:  

(06-03-2015 04:37 PM)Kieran Wrote:  There's been some good advice but the biggest problem I see is that you don't know how to flirt. The example with the girls that complimented you, and the time you spent examining the girl on your course are perfect opportunities for flirting and getting a sexual vibe going with a girl.

You nailed it. I am fine with the kino part of flirting but struggle to tie smooth and fun words along with the touching.

I was assessing the front of a girl's chest in class, and paused and acted very puzzled. When I was sure I had her attention, I told her I was noticing 'large bilateral tumors' on either side of her chest. She looked really angry at first and hit my arm, then laughed and said, "Those are my boobs!" Tension broken.

From countless posts on here I am finding that slight, humorous teases or compliments regarding something about the girl - body or dress or lifestyle - are a highly effective way of flirting. Gotta keep trying in order to get better at it. Thanks for the pointer kieran.

I disagree. This goes much further. Listening to you speak in the videos, it's abundantly clear that you have a major issue you should really work on before even focusing on learning to flirt and the rest of the advice you've been given. Here is a text version of how you speak:

"I have been to MAny PLAces BUT the thINGS I enJOYED the MOSt..."

Are you getting what I'm putting down here? You need to work heavily on how you communicate.

Post: #71

I'm going to bite here. Regular game advice from east coasters will not fly there.

OP where are you going out? Do you do the Tuesday? Bike rides? I ran that old down town a few times and couldn't even talk to anyone male or female that wasn't tarded.

You need to pick who you want then let me know.

I'll ad more tomorrow.

Post: #72

If I had to live there at your age I'd get a pizza delivery job at blackjacks on speedway to meet people and cash.

Tucson folk are not very smart. It's an actual fact but if you are smart act dumb ass hell.

Post: #73

Don't worry about becoming a hardcore pick-up artist overnight. It's a marathon, not a sprint. Before you can flirt well you'll need to learn to be social and read social signals.

Make small talk with strangers a part of your everyday routine.

Waiting for the bus? Ask when it comes, if there's a faster way to get to point B, what's fun around here cause you're new, etc.

Slow day at the store? Comment on it to the cashier. Don't overstay your welcome but try to hold a conversation while she's scanning your items.

See someone wearing a unique item? Give them a compliment as you walk by.

In the elevator with one or two other people? Break the silence, comment on the weather, etc.

All this regardless if it's an old man, a fat woman, or a cute chick.

Imagine a five foot radius around you when you're in public. Anyone who comes within that radius you can make a comment. Even if it's "wow, great weather today, huh?" Try to get them to react, respond; make people's days better. It'll also improve your energy.

Read the book What Every BODY Is Saying and start paying attention to people's body language, especially feet and shoulder angles.

Taking an improv class really helped my approach anxiety when I was getting into game. It'll teach you to riff on people's ideas and not self-censor or try to come up with the best thing to say before you speak.

Post: #74

If you're talking with someone and it's a very easy effortless conversation, much of that is because of their strong social skills.

Don't recall the name of the social theory, but in a nutshell, the information density of a conversation is limited by the person with the lower communication skills. Think of someone foreign trying to speak English, and how it's hard for them to understand all of the subtleties of your language, and how they only get the general meaning. That's you right now.

Once you get good at being social and carrying a conversation, you can start to turn the conversation in the direction you want, rather than being at the whim of the stronger speaker. Flirting begins when you are at least at the same level as her.

Post: #75

Ok, Ive been looking at OP's posts and I think we have another problem. Just being frank here and giving you my opinion

You need to change your way of talking AND thinking. You are too much of a nerd

Quote:I was assessing the front of a girl's chest in class

Who the fuck use words like that????? I'm an honor student Magna Cum Laude and I still feel much more comfortable if somebody just says "I was oggling that girls boobs"

You also have a tendency to write in long post and covolute the subject, sometimes going too deep into things that dont need to that much focus.

I knew another extremely awkward guy who, instead of saying «I got the new book » he said « I just procured the new manual on… » and instead of « can I borrow… » he said « I need to requisition »… If you talk like you write on here with girls I guarantee you you’d be better off chasing them off with bug spray.

This is tricky because its not simply a behavior change but about changing the whole way you think, filter and process information with your brain. This is exactly what prevents you from being fun because instead of going with the flow you overanalyze and freeze on the spot.
Guys I think we need to stop giving game advice. OP needs serious help recalibrating his social persona first. If he cant even appear normal/cool on the internet what chances he has in real life?

OP, are there cool people you can go out with? Guys who are smooth or just a generally likable person with lots of friends. Hang out with these and try to imitate their behaviors. And just switch your brain off for a while, stop analyzing and have fun.

Learn to talk and THINK like a cool dude. Hell, like a normal dude at first. If you don’t even get that down pussy is a long way to go…
Hope you take this with a good heart.