Post: #1

Inspired by this reddit thread

Quote:"Redditors who "went out for cigarettes" and never came back, why did you leave? Where did you go? What is life like for you now?"
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/commen...confidence

While reading some of these comments, I really have nothing to complain about. Some people have had some very tough life experiences. My troubles are nothing compared to somethings I read.

But let's say you wanted to disappear and start a new life, how would you do it? I'm curious in practical terms, not the "I would have 5 million saved and 3 new passports ready." Unless of course that was easy to obtain. Getting a new identity would probably be one of the hardest things to do.

Post: #2

Relevant book on the matter:

http://www.amazon.com/Soldier-Fortune-Gu...620877872/

I've read about half of it, and whilst some of the methods described are unlikely avenues most people would want to choose (becoming a vagabond / travelling as a hobo), there is some decent advice on planning and execution.

Post: #3

(05-29-2015 12:25 AM)Marmite Wrote:  Relevant book on the matter:

http://www.amazon.com/Soldier-Fortune-Gu...620877872/

I've read about half of it, and whilst some of the methods described are unlikely avenues most people would want to choose (becoming a vagabond / travelling as a hobo), there is some decent advice on planning and execution.

Interesting, here is a partial book review.

Quote:If I were really interested in disappearing then I would suggest reading the following books, How to be an International Fugitive by Ken Abago. This book has more detailed information about the concept of dropping everything and starting over with potential locations and skill lists. It may be a shorter read but none-the-less more illuminating. I would also suggest stringing reading Frank Ahern's books, How to Disappear: Erase your Digital Footprint, Leave False Trails, and Vanish without a Trace and The Digital Hitman: His weapons for combating the Digital World.

On a final note you may want to check out the book Emergency by Neil Straus for further ideas on skills you should know before you hit the road.

And another thing. Stop reading reviews on this topic online. You're already leaving a trail for someone like me to find you.

Post: #4

I couldn't do it because I have a dog. I would miss the hell out of her. But theoretically, I would probably take a flight to Ukraine and backpack my way to Croatia under a different name.

Post: #5

(05-29-2015 12:34 AM)wi30 Wrote:  I couldn't do it because I have a dog. I would miss the hell out of her. But theoretically, I would probably take a flight to Ukraine and backpack my way to Croatia under a different name.

How do you get that different name, hypothetically?

Post: #6

(05-29-2015 12:39 AM)samsamsam Wrote:  

(05-29-2015 12:34 AM)wi30 Wrote:  I couldn't do it because I have a dog. I would miss the hell out of her. But theoretically, I would probably take a flight to Ukraine and backpack my way to Croatia under a different name.

How do you get that different name, hypothetically?

Well considering I had a few fake IDs before 21 in the states (one government issued), it was quite easy. I'm sure I could pay a couple hundred bucks to get someone in EE to get me the relevant paperwork/identification. Once you get into the country you wish to stay, you can pretty much disappear if that is your goal.

Post: #7

(09-04-2011 12:11 AM)wi30 Wrote:  I'm sure you know of someone who is already 21. If they are cool with it, take their birth certificate and social security card and head over to another state. Walk into the DMV and ask for a photo id. Give them your stats (height, weight, hair color, etc.) and a made up address. It will only run you around ten dollars and is completely foolproof. Don't get caught with it though, you could definitely get charged with a felony. I got lucky with mine and convinced the cops it was my brother, so I only got a false representation misdemeanor.

A less risky way is to find someone who you look like. This is hard and has a good chance of getting rejected at the nicer clubs.

I have also had a computer made one where I sent an email with a picture and the information I wanted to someone who makes them. If you are around a college campus ask around and someone's going to hand out an email address. These IDs are going to run you around $80 or more. The biggest problem is most of them look pretty fake and don't have a hologram. I never got rejected when I left it in the clear pocket in my wallet. However, once they ask you to take it out it's game over.

Obviously, having a fake Id is illegal and every bar and liquor store's looking out for them. Just be smart when you use it. Make strong eye contact and act like you're of age. If you look nervous and scared they are going to reject you every time.

Relevant info I posted back in 2011 about getting fake IDs. If you know what you are doing, you can get away with almost anything. Catch Me If You Can Leo game.

Post: #8

The approach you would take would depend greatly on why you're leaving, who and what you're willing to leave behind, how anonymous you want / need to be, and how much time and resources you have to plan and execute the move.

Ideally carried out over a number of months to ease suspicion:

• Burner phone and anonymous email for organising move
• Liquidate and offshore all assets
• Renew passport as needed
• Have an initial destination picked out
• Ship possessions as needed
• Delete as much of your online footprint as possible
• Book leave from work
• Tell family and friends you're attending an out of town business meeting
• Disappear
  

No doubt there is significantly more that could go into planning this, but some things would be situation specific.

Post: #9

delete

Post: #10

I'm doing this aswell and ironically my father aswell as my 2 uncles did the same when they were younger , and they're all better off now financially (all 3 run a business together) aswell as mentally.

Most of my old friends and guys my age live very sad, simple and average lives, consumed by social media and pop culture, way too concerned about what other people think of them, scared to really let go and take their life in the direction they want. Bad sex life. Faces indulged into their phone everytime we went out. The same mundane thing day in day out. Only thing they looked forward to was a holiday to Spain in the summer.

Aswell as some other problems, i took a look at my life, my friends , country and direction i was going in and decided that this isn't where i'm gonna go. I want to improve as a man.

I don't want to lie on my deathbed when i'm old with nothing but regrets and 'oh i should have done this and that' . I don't want live a life that was chosen for me, i want to live a life that i chose.

When i told my friends i was leaving and starting over, they looked at me like i was crazy, tried to talk me out of it. Tried to pull me back into average-land.

Luckily my family supports me and gave me good advice since they've been there and done that.

How i'm going about this :

I just cut off all contact with my old friends and aqquintances , deleted my social media profiles and e-mail addresses , new phone number , only kept my family members on my Facebook account.

I've got until the beginning of August until the lease on my appartment runs out.

If i can't find a job or some project that could get me where i want i'm just gonna leave and see where i end up.

I've got a small amount of money set aside, around 4.000.

That's it so far really, i don't know how it's gonna go but that's the beauty of it.

Post: #11

To start a new life, it doesn't really mean you have to start with a new identity, hide and and disappear. I'm in the process of doing the same and will be moving out of the country by mid august early september. Just like what you Driesinator posted, I want to build my life on my terms, no regrets, and definitely not the way people or society wants me to live accordingly to their plan.

Going to a new country, learning a new language, building a new social circle and building a business there and building a new, more fulfilling, more fun and more exciting life. IF need be, take a job in the beginning till I get situated.

Where I am right now doesn't have anything that I want, while everything I want, I can get it where I'm headed to. Truly a no brainer. I really can't relate to guys around me here at all. The environment and the people are toxic and will sap the living out of you if let them.

And no need to hide, disappear or change identity. The people that matter, will know and I'll keep in touch with them. The rest, I wish them best of luck in their path. I will chose my own path.

Post: #12

(05-29-2015 05:33 PM)Vacancier Permanent Wrote:  To start a new life, it doesn't really mean you have to start with a new identity, hide and and disappear. I'm in the process of doing the same and will be moving out of the country by mid august early september. Just like what you Driesinator posted, I want to build my life on my terms, no regrets, and definitely not the way people or society wants me to live accordingly to their plan.

Going to a new country, learning a new language, building a new social circle and building a business there and building a new, more fulfilling, more fun and more exciting life. IF need be, take a job in the beginning till I get situated.

Where I am right now doesn't have anything that I want, while everything I want, I can get it where I'm headed to. Truly a no brainer. I really can't relate to guys around me here at all. The environment and the people are toxic and will sap the living out of you if let them.

And no need to hide, disappear or change identity. The people that matter, will know and I'll keep in touch with them. The rest, I wish them best of luck in their path. I will chose my own path.

Great post man and i wish you good luck on your adventure.

I was just talking about it with my dad yesterday, how there are now more opportunities than ever to do what you want but men seem to be regressing at a fast pace and settling for average, while women are now more opportunistic than ever before.

He told me that the young lads of today don't have a proper set of balls anymore compared to the generations before. They seem scared.

For instance , last summer : I went on a holiday to Spain with my 3 'best friends' , we were there for 2 weeks.

The entire duration of their stay, they only went to the private beach by the hotel and took pictures of themselves with a selfiestick, that's all they did. They tried hitting up girls on Tinder but with no success.

Then there was me, i can't stand to sit behind a computer for hours if it isn't work or information related, let alone look at my phone for more than 10 minutes.

I spent the entire vacation alone, getting smashed with locals and other tourists , visiting the nearby towns and sharing interesting stories with people. Chasing pussy.

Ended up getting a threesome with 2 hot British girls in their hotel room on my 4th night , even snorted coke off of their asses and i stayed with them for the rest of the holiday.

Friends were angry at me after that, i understood it and i know bro's before hoe's and all that but i just couldn't take it anymore.

Depending on what you want in life , your social circle and friends, even family can hold you back.

Post: #13

Quote:your social circle and friends, even family, can hold you back

BIG TIME!

I might sound a tad cynical but it appears to me, that most people, if not every one you come in contact with, looks at you form the angle of what they can get from you or what you can do for them. Even family and siblings. People you truly respect and trust. People for whom you did many sacrifice. At times, even sacrifice your goals and dreams for them up to now.

The people you can really blindly wholly and unconditionally trust, you can really count them on the fingers of one hand. And that is if you're lucky! Has anyone else noticed that too? That's even more apparent nowadays than it was even a few years ago. Or maybe being older, more mature and more experienced, I can easily notice it while before, younger, more naive and less experienced, I didn't?

Your environment and social circle will determine your outcome. The popular saying that you're the average of the 5 people you spend most time with cannot be truer!

The best thing a man can do to go after their goals and dreams, is to change their environment. To go from a toxic place where everyone is doing their hardest to keep you with them at their mediocre level. Remember the saying, miserly loves company? Going to a place where people around you encourage you, inspire you and push you to be your very best.

That's a most honourable pursuit as it gets for today's men. Search for that environment and once you do, don't waste a single second and go there asap!

Post: #14

Already started a new life. It begins when you're ready to let go of pretty much everything and everyone you once knew, and then you just fucking do it. Doesn't mean you have to disappear.

Post: #15

^^ That's a great life-truth right there !

Only weak men choose the path of least resistance.

And as for people getting something from me, jack sh*te is what they're going to get. I think to survive in todays world, you have to be very selfish and keep your cards to yourself.

Now i live by the famous Steve McQueen quote.

Post: #16

(05-29-2015 05:13 PM)Driesinator Wrote:  I'm doing this aswell and ironically my father aswell as my 2 uncles did the same when they were younger , and they're all better off now financially (all 3 run a business together) aswell as mentally.

Similar situation. My father immigrated to Australia from the UK in the 70's.. (he was military so this made the process easier) and left his entire family and life behind and built a new life here. - As i get older i'm noticing huge similarities between us as i'm already pursuing a similar path.

So i basically did this when i was 23 - it was more of an experiment to give me the chance to scout out possible locations and learn from the experience so i could better formulate a long-term move. I bought a one-way ticket and had a specific amount of cash and spent almost two years in Europe living in a couple of places.

Leading up to this i was slowly distancing myself from old friends and acquaintances and by the time i left i had zero attachment to home, i remained in contact with family but kept it distant, i would chat with them maybe once every 3-4 months.. this really gave the sensation of been completely separated from my old life and provided the opportunity to really immerse myself into another life.

I can't stress enough how important your social circle is, those people you interact with need to be inspiring you, they should be driven and ambitious in life and always working towards greater goals and self-improvement.. i met some people like this while abroad and it has a fundamental impact on your life, seriously. Especially if you've spent your whole life hanging out with passive wage slave consumers.

So now i'm in the process of planning for a long-term move, which will probably take 3-4 years.. i want to be prepared financially and give myself some time to better prepare. The people who take off on a couple of grand and make a new life for themselves are truly admirable.. i don't have the courage to do it without some serious financial backing, i'm to risk averse when it comes to big life decisions.

(05-29-2015 06:33 PM)Gmac Wrote:  Already started a new life. It begins when you're ready to let go of pretty much everything and everyone you once knew, and then you just fucking do it. Doesn't mean you have to disappear.

This.

You can let go without disappearing, it's a psychological transition where you enter into a level of detachment and reclaim yourself fully, knowing you are not defined by friends, family or relationships and are ultimately free to do as you choose.

Post: #17

I've come to the conclusion that I'd like to do what other people are suggesting in this thread. I've been sitting around this summer, trying to set things up with girls through online dating sites and day game, trying to make it work one more time in the Northeast, and I've finally realized - there's nothing for me here. Nothing but a bunch of people who will suck every bit of energy I have left to give and offer nothing but entitlement and attitude in return.

People like myself, who finally do want to live for themselves, and maybe for a few other like-minded people who aren't toxic, are just hated here. I have a great deal of empathy for other humans, but I can't sacrifice my life for these fucks. And I'm not going to sit around anymore trying to game frigid US girls in real life and on these stupid dating sites for the tiniest scraps of affection in exchange for sacrificing everything. I don't like the person I'm becoming.

I'd like to remain a US citizen, if I can. I have a bunch of money saved up. Puerto Rico seems nice, maybe for a little while. I'd appreciate any advice either here or in private messages.

Post: #18

I have nothing to leave, and nothing to run from. Kinda planned it that way, so i guess I will stay. I could understand if someone else had to leave if they were up against a wall, or just sick of everything.

Post: #19

Four times in my life I changed country by myself, not knowing anyone where I was going, most times for work. In two cases I went to places others would call absolute shitholes, people would tell me I'd be crazy for starting a new life there. These events have made me the man I am today, a man who is more knowledgeable, socially more able, quick to adapt, with an open mind, a curiosity for life and a great eagerness to keep improving and exploring. Basically the best decisions of my life.

Did I lose some friends? Sure. Did I lose some girls? Sure. But I gained a lot more than what I lost. I recommend every man out there to pack your shit and get out of wherever you are, you will not regret it.

The only danger there is to it is one I welcome, namely the fact that you won't be able to relate anymore to the ones you leave behind, that you won't be able to accept a boring 9-5 job in your home country anymore.

Post: #20

My original post wasn't so much running away from anything. I am blessed with a great family and a few solid friends. Had a great childhood and never abused or actually faced any hardships growing up. It is just the sense of adventure and challenge that building something from scratch represents.

I grew up with the good fortune that people before me cleared the way.

I just wonder what it would be like setting foot on some foreign soil, with just a few coins in my pockets and a desire to build something. Maybe I am romanticizing it a bit.

Post: #21

The same goes for me. I have a great family, lots of friends, some girls, a nice place to stay etc. in my home country. It doesn't matter though, you don't want to stand still and become like any other guy you know. The most important thing in life for me is to have experiences and to gain knowledge, for both there is no better option than to move, alone and to a place unknown. It's a cliche but I sometimes think about when I'm 80 years old (if I make it) and kids, perhaps grandchildren, ask me about life. I want to give them one hell of a story, with ups and downs.

And these days, when I come back home, I am the most interesting man in every room. No conversation is dull, people are happy to see me again. I am happy to see my friends, my family, etc. but I know already that I won't stay long. Like an addiction, once you take a step like that, you won't look back again.

Post: #22

I don't have a tl;dr.

After several years of difficulty, it looks like I am able to focus on what I want in my life. I am going to move to a country where my work income can provide a good life. Probably better than that, but I am low key. Some investments I have made are either 1) coming around 2) stopped bleeding me as much or 3) I am just eating shit and taking a loss. But to be clear, I know how I created this, I am not a victim. I wanted to feel like I earned my life and I think subconsciously, I wanted more struggle. So I could stop feeling guilty for my past success. I know now that I earned it through large quantities of pain, the kind that broke me down so much I cried in the shower one day. But now, I ain't apologizing. I'll be humble, but I don't feel guilty about able to live life on my terms, not subject to the mercy of someone else. I earned my freedom.

I am about to sell my car, I dumped years of crap I accumulated and for the first time in nearly a decade I have some deep optimism. I have always tried to be upbeat and good to those I meet (ask the guys I have met from here). But I think too much and sometimes don't see all the good in my life.

I'll skip more rambling and cut to my question or more specifically, what I want to achieve in my new life. Well I am not really clear. I know that:

I have work lined up that requires little time but pays well for the effort - it isn't replicable sorry - it is the reward from my business partners for bleeding for them.
I have side projects lined up.
I have language skills in my new country.
I have a set of local contacts and friends.
I have dated and banged women in this country.

Maybe for the first time in a while, I feel unconstrained. Maybe I am feeling like Morgan Freeman in Shawshank Redemption at the end of the movie.

For someone who over the last decade has been battling known immovable forces, I don't have any now. Or not nearly as many. Maybe it is the lack of a known object to battle with that is creating this void. And when I mean known object, I am not saying a person, I am saying some challenge that requires me to step up and fight to win. Does that make sense to anyone? Maybe I am just fatigued. I remember the day after graduating from business school, I could barely move. I just wanted to lay around. 2 years of constant charging, I was tired.

I could try and live like a baller but that has never appealed to me and it definitely is not a good way of meeting a decent girl. Plus, I just would hate to waste money for temporary joy. Or possibly no joy at all if there is no bang. I bring that up, because it could be a new way to live for me, maybe it would be good for me to try it out. But I just can't see that being enjoyable.

This has become more of a mental dump. I am reaching to articulate something but can't seem to tonight.

Anyone been through this?

Thanks.

Edit: I don't plan on getting a new identity, or anything like that. I have a great family and good friends in the US. But I am leaving much behind to start this new chapter. I've done some scouting trips but now I am jumping in.

This new chapter in my life wouldn't be possible without the help of some members from this forum, I am forever grateful.

Post: #23

^Interesting post and an interesting thread in general.

Shortly before I met the woman that became my wife I was actually undergoing the physical and linguistic training I would require to pass muster joining the French Foreign Legion. At that stage I'd been treading water in a shitty dead end security job for over five years while wasting my time with the same dead-end shitty friends and it was the only path less travelled that had ever jumped out at me.

I was dead set on it too. I'd never been in better shape or more motivated, to the point where I was swimming and running laps between seaside jettys in the dead of winter.

The odd thing about it was that I could have easily joined the Australian Army (I'd already passed all the entrance exams with flying colours several years earlier) but I despised the idea of slowly breaking away from my social circles and having to make some half assed attempt to "keep in contact". Besides, I knew the only guys that saw real action in the ADF these days were the top tier combat soldiers and I just wasn't cut from that cloth. The FFL however has a kind of unwritten guarantee that you will see combat at some stage under your contract.

Looking back, I literally wanted to drop the man-boy me off the face of the earth and never come back until I was the real deal (or never come back at all). The FFL gave you a new passport and a new name if you wanted it. If you served long enough you'd get a pension, or so the info I'd researched told me.

But I met my future wife and caught a level 100 case of the feels, putting that whole business to bed pretty quickly. The irony is that if I weren't in such good shape she'd probably have never tossed me a glance. Funny how these things work out.

Now? If I had to walk away then I'd definitely buy a small boat and start port-hopping. From there I'd move to island hopping and then to international travel by sea.

I'm one of those bizarre people who has no difficulty with solitude whatsoever and something about the idea of spending weeks out in the ocean is really appealing to me.

How to finance it? Well, it probably wouldn't be legal.

Post: #24

Join the French Foreign Legion. Its the place where a man get a new start...

Post: #25

I have a story of vanishing without a trace. A great uncle of mine vanished in the late 1960's. He left the house to go to town; he went to the bank and cleaned it out. At the time he had a wife and several young children. The family tried to track him down but couldn't find him. His mother died after and he was largely blamed for breaking her heart.

Family members tried to contact him by sending mail through social security office but they didn’t know if he was getting letters or not. The office would not give them any information. About fifteen years later he was killed in a nationally reported public works disaster. The family found that he was living a couple states away. At the funeral they found that he had a new wife and several young children. A large part of his leaving was attributed to losing his job and alcohol problems but it was never known for sure.