Post: #1

If there is one thing that has affected my game the most it's certainly depression. I've been dealing with it all of my life and I'm only now (in my late 20s) beginning to realize its effect on my life, especially in the areas of friendships and women.

It doesn't matter how serious I've been about approaching, I know that if I'm depressed my negative attitude bleeds through everything I say and do. It's very frustrating and serves to make me more depressed.

I was wondering how many of you out there have also dealt with this issue and what you've done to get it under control.

Post: #2

Have you worked on your inner game?

Post: #3

PFFT inner game. You can't have inner game with depression. The solution is three-part, according to my psychiatrist:

1. Treat the depression's biological basis with medication. This allows you to proceed to step two.
2. Cognitive-behavioral or psychodynamic therapy to correct old "depressed" ways of thinking which are retained even after medical treatment.
3. Surrounding oneself with a positive, supportive environment to keep old ways of thinking from resurfacing.

Telling someone to "cheer up" or get over it when they have depression is like using a bandaid on a severed limb: it's nowhere near strong enough. People don't understand that unless they've had depression themselves.

The song "Paranoid" is actually a very accurate description of depression.
"Finished with my woman 'cause she couldn't help me with my mind
People think I'm insane because I am frowning all the time
All day long I think of things but nothing seems to satisfy
Think I'll lose my mind if I don't find something to pacify
Can you help me occupy my brain?
Oh yeah
I need someone to show me the things in life that I can't find
I can't see the things that make true happiness, I must be blind
Make a joke and I will sigh and you will laugh and I will cry
Happiness I cannot feel and love to me is so unreal
And so as you hear these words telling you now of my state
I tell you to enjoy life I wish I could but it's too late."

Cupcake I wish I had some good advice to give you but I don't other than what I've already written. I agree 100% that getting depressed always makes things exponentially worse. The key (and maybe you already know this) is to stop that downward spiral ASAP, however possible. Since I have ADHD, it's fairly easy for me to distract myself - don't know about you. Then, getting some sort of positive validation sets me on top of the world, at least for a few hours. Also surround yourself with friends who share your interests. I have no friends who are interested in "picking up girls" in the slightest, no one to show me how it's done, and no one to be interested in. It's pretty hopeless but I can't let myself think of it that way or - well, you know the rest.

And don't drink alcohol! It'll just make you more depressed even though it feels better at first.

Post: #4

If you truly suspect depression. Get off the board and see a therapist this second. Nothing holds you back like the downward spirals it creates. Do not accept home-cooked solutions to ths but see a licensed professional.

Post: #5

i have spent pretty depressed life....but i overcome it...by working on myself....i started GYM....and when i feel progress...i love myself...joining GYm is the only way to deal with depression.

Post: #6

or may i say a healthy way.

Post: #7

(06-06-2011 01:27 AM)Vicious Wrote:  If you truly suspect depression. Get off the board and see a therapist this second. Nothing holds you back like the downward spirals it creates. Do not accept home-cooked solutions to ths but see a licensed professional.

CupCake

This is the best advice anyone can ever give you on depression. Don't look for solutions or advice in peers or non qualified individuals. Seek professional help.

Post: #8

Definitely the psychologist thing works pretty well, I recommend these blogs.... there's some good posts on depression and things in general.

zenhabits.net

bemorewithless.com

http://zenhabits.net/6-practical-and-pow...epression/

By the way its super good that you asked for help! Ask for it everywhere. Most people don't ask and its definitely a great step to take.

You'll be happier soon

Post: #9

this helps

http://www.springforestqigong.com/index.htm

Post: #10

I'm all too familiar with depression. One thing I have had to learn is: it's impossible to solve the problem on your own. You cannot be your own therapist, only later on, when you're more "stable", but not in the beginning.

Consulting a psychologist/psychiatrist is the way to go. Self help books can give good advice at times, but of course, the advice is very broad and will not fully address your individual problems.

Post: #11

sory but pyshcologist term doesnt work for me....they ate my money...nothing happend.

Post: #12

I was told all my life I should go see someone about my "depression" I had a negative 'tude, bleak look, and complete lack of motivation.

I fixed it.

Change something. Remember that you only live once.


The attached picture seems a little negative, seems like it wouldn't help but it did WORLDS of good for me.

The idea that even if I was the best man ever, if I somehow became the man that brought about world peace, that, in a universal sense, it wouldn't matter, is very liberating. I think depression is so prevalent in the modern world because we're all given this idea that we can be "anything you want"

Thats a lot of fucking pressure. Tell a kid he can be the president, then actually think about what the fuck goes into that, its not just a switch you flip. I spent my whole life pursuing success, not happiness. I had the epiphany that nothing really matters, and realized that the best success I could ever hope for is just like a fart in a hurricane to the universe, gone in a flash and its like it was never there.

At the end of the day all you have is you, and you're the only one that has your back. Not your family. Not your friends. Just you. Your happiness should be your number one goal in life (as long as it doesn't impede someone elses happiness directly, i.e. no stabbing people for kicks lol)

Chef In Jeans
A culinary website for men

Post: #13

Not trying to get into a personal/psychological debate here, but I really believe "diseases" like depression are just perpetual states of mind that people have control over -- most just don't realize it. I've been "diagnosed" with a few of these so-called diseases but have refused medication. There is no magic pill to fix all of your problems.

Overcoming these obstacles comes from within, and I absolutely mean that. If you let your feelings and emotions control you, they will. It's up to you to "distract" or motivate yourself. No one is going to make your world a better place, especially not a therapist. I hit rock bottom when I was about 20. It was a hell of a trip that I will never forget.

Changing yourself starts with only one thing -- You... and you have to want it... bad.

How badly do you want to be confident, happy, and successful? The rest is completely up to you...

(Note: That's not to say serious mental illnesses like Alzheimer's or Autism are curable with willpower -- there is a difference)

Post: #14

I had minor depression when I was 17/18. It was mostly circumstantial. I was fat, being bullied, didn't have a lot of friends etc.

I got into a negative feedback loop, where all you do is criticize yourself, but make no effort towards making positive change, you just sit around and sulk. I tried the drugs but they really didn't help, just made me extra moody about shit.

In my first year of college I made a really good friend who just gave me a bit of room to grow with a bit of guidance. I realized that being unhappy about stuff solves nothing and that YOU are the only one responsible for the way you feel and the things happening in your life.

From there, my life did a complete 180, turned everything around. Health, friendships, girls. It's crazy to look back and see where I've come from.

Post: #15

I seriously appreciate all the input. Thanks.

Post: #16

I'm pretty sure Everyone gets deprest at some point in their life. I got depressed for a short amount of time after i started learning game and smoking weed(i think my weed was tainted). My view of the world changed and for a while i didnt feel like anything we do here on earth mattered. I still feel that way to an extent but i put a good spin on it. Now i just try to enjoy myself, you should to

Post: #17

There are a lot of depressed and disillusioned twenty-somthing year old men out there. When you take the red pill and realize that society is rigged against us, your mind can take a beating.

About 2 months ago I started taking St Johns Wort, a natural anti depressant. You can buy it at a Kroger.

I highly recommend it if you are like me and don't want to go see anyone and take prescription drugs. Take it for a month. Your mood will probably pick up in a week. All my friends noticed I was happier, more content, and laughed more. I really was much happier after a month of taking it.

Post: #18

GMac, I think you are right in that its a perpetual state of mind, it's terribly habitual and it is a negative albeit reinforcing loop.

Some great responses here. I totally agree with the notion that it is a high quality problem that we have, when we have food and shelter handled (where some poor places don't).

Something has to be said about how we think, and what we think - it really is a garden that does manifest into the world.

My question is - if there is something perpetual, and one has the awareness to realize it, but the thoughts and feelings seem inevitable, just ignore your mind? I mean, I like thinking big picture - like ultimately, nothing matters at all, which sometimes helps. There is definitely a lifestyle component to it, I just feel like I leak too much of my time 'needing more information' before I go about actually living life. I really could make an effort to make and meet new people.

To end positively, I look back, at some of the things I thought a while ago with an objective eye, and just, jaw drop.

Post: #19

Just remember you only live once and how much better life will be if you get out there and enjoy it.

I was depressed in high school and a crazy doctor told my mom I should be on medication for depression. It took me about 6 yrs to find myself. You are your own worst enemy. You have to get out of that loop of feeling sorry for yourself and looking at the world in a negative way.

Post: #20

(06-07-2011 10:36 PM)raliv Wrote:  There are a lot of depressed and disillusioned twenty-somthing year old men out there. When you take the red pill and realize that society is rigged against us, your mind can take a beating.

About 2 months ago I started taking St Johns Wort, a natural anti depressant. You can buy it at a Kroger.

I highly recommend it if you are like me and don't want to go see anyone and take prescription drugs. Take it for a month. Your mood will probably pick up in a week. All my friends noticed I was happier, more content, and laughed more. I really was much happier after a month of taking it.

I've heard of this. Does anyone else have experience with it? Raliv you have any more info?

Post: #21

To me it's mostly a mental thing. Clinical depression is serious, but most people are just "down" on themselves.

I recommend reading "zen and the art of happiness" as it is a quick read (albeit you may find it cheesy).

If you can figure out what is making you so depressed perhaps you can find a way to fix/dismiss it?

Post: #22

(06-08-2011 05:02 AM)houston Wrote:  Just remember you only live once and how much better life will be if you get out there and enjoy it.

I was depressed in high school and a crazy doctor told my mom I should be on medication for depression. It took me about 6 yrs to find myself. You are your own worst enemy. You have to get out of that loop of feeling sorry for yourself and looking at the world in a negative way.

I'm in the finding myself stage too, 20 right now, turning 21 soon, and just completed sophomore year in college. I know it sounds too simple to be true, but it's just a decision and choice to just get oneself out that loop.

Post: #23

(06-07-2011 06:42 PM)Gmac Wrote:  Changing yourself starts with only one thing -- You... and you have to want it... bad.
How badly do you want to be confident, happy, and successful? The rest is completely up to you...

houston Wrote:You have to get out of that loop of feeling sorry for yourself and looking at the world in a negative way.

The attitude is so important. You get the job, the girl, if you believe you can get it.

I just came from a party with plenty of fine babes and did not even bother to approach. I didn’t care, which scared me. Rather, I was disgusted by all the douchebags.
I fucked six pretty girls this year, same last year (as opposed to zero just a couple of years before). Not a high number for many of you guys here, but I learned a lot and was doing just fine.

My current situation / outlook on life: Tiredness and general disgust, contempt, boredom.

- My insights from this forum and other sources changed me as a person so much during the last year that my identity is unclear to me.
- I became very cynical and still can’t get over the fact that I spent my whole twenties with academic bullshit that no one cares about.
- I myself don’t care about it any longer - which makes me sad - and realize how intertwined my confidence is with professional achievement.
- Haven't found new goals yet, and drifting is unsatisfying.
- I realize that the whole society is based on bullshit. Not on quality, good work, but on self-marketing bullshit and connections.

It seems to me that not caring is one of the key qualities you need. Many people actually do care (about other people, the environment, etc.). I need to change my attitude.

So, my strategy: Just keep going, learn something new, do something new - anything, and get a new job that just pays the bills for a while until I have better ideas. Two steps forward, one step back..

- end of rant -

Post: #24

The thing that really sucks about depression for me is that I know that a girl is the way to deal with it, but I can't get the girl when I am depressed. I don't know how I could be depressed if I was banging a hot girl regularly.

Post: #25

(06-07-2011 10:36 PM)raliv Wrote:  There are a lot of depressed and disillusioned twenty-somthing year old men out there. When you take the red pill and realize that society is rigged against us, your mind can take a beating.

About 2 months ago I started taking St Johns Wort, a natural anti depressant. You can buy it at a Kroger.

I highly recommend it if you are like me and don't want to go see anyone and take prescription drugs. Take it for a month. Your mood will probably pick up in a week. All my friends noticed I was happier, more content, and laughed more. I really was much happier after a month of taking it.

This is good advice. If your depression is mild, I suggest St. Johns Wort as well. Normal anti-depressants often cause sexual side effects. I've never seen a psychiatrist, and generally think they over-prescribe.

I've taken it for several months now as a daily supplement and it seems to work well. Check out information online its one of the few herbal OTC remedies that seems to have a bunch of scientific backing. Its actually the first line of treatment for mild depression in some EU countries.