Post: #1

Just to clarify a Bro-scientist is a gym bro who: lifts solely for chest and biceps, believes every supplement industry scam, wears a stringer and usually gets on gear in the first 6months of training.
The three years I've been in the gym there are two Bro-science moments that truly made me lose my shit.

1) So I'm talking to this gym bro who's clearly on gear, nice bloke, and I ask him what he's working that day and how many sets he's done. He asks his bro training partner how many he's done: "ummm 19. Why?"
"19 oh fuck!" This bro sprints over to his bag gets out some whey protein and downs a shake. Walks back over. "Phew nearly went catabolic there." XD

2) Two bro's are walking out of the gym presumably after a session, one bypasses the scales and goes to weigh himself. His bro pulls him up. "Dude, what are you doing? You've already made gains." I was waiting for them to laugh, it never happened, they were dead serious lol.

Post: #2

Mike Chang is a pioneer in the Bro-Science comedy world.

He's done some great skits on ROK before, including gems such as:
Why Crunches Make You Fat
How Science Shows That Leptin Is The Most Important Fat Burning Hormone

Post: #3

How about when fat chicks say they don't want to lift cuz they "don't want to get bulky"? Bro & Sis-science.

Post: #4

After you hit the gym long enough, you could care-less what other people are doing. You don't care what they're injecting, what they're drinking, what they're saying, or what routine they're following. You get in and get out. If you see what you call a "bro science" dude at the squat rack, 45 years old, with camo fatigues, combat boots, a fanny pack, and an old powerhouse gym t-shirt. My advice is not to fuck with him because he's probably been lifting for thirty years and has little patience for millennials who want to talk about the kreb cycle.

Post: #5

You're describing 80-85% of the guys at my university gym.

Don't know how many of you read Brooks Kubik's Dinosaur Quarterly, but he had a nice segment on that a few months ago.

Post: #6

(07-19-2015 08:42 PM)Mess O. Wrote:  How about when fat chicks say they don't want to lift cuz they "don't want to get bulky"? Bro & Sis-science.

There's an old coach here who runs a popular strength gym. Every now & then he gets fat chicks coming in saying exactly this. He'd ask them back: "so what heavy weights have you been lifting then?"

Occasionally there'd be one who gets the joke and doesn't get offended, but sticks around to actually train and improve herself.

Post: #7

(07-19-2015 09:31 PM)LINUX Wrote:  After you hit the gym long enough, you could care-less what other people are doing. You don't care what they're injecting, what they're drinking, what they're saying, or what routine they're following. You get in and get out. If you see what you call a "bro science" dude at the squat rack, 45 years old, with camo fatigues, combat boots, a fanny pack, and an old powerhouse gym t-shirt. My advice is not to fuck with him because he's probably been lifting for thirty years and has little patience for millennials who want to talk about the kreb cycle.

Yeah you're on the money man. Get in get out lift heavy as fuck (i.e. like Nassim Taleb). Some moments however are too laughable to ignore

Post: #8

These aren't quotes, but things that bro science lifters usually do.

Basically living off protein powder, creatine and fat burners.

Having Jeff Seid as an inspiration.

Post: #9

Believing Jeff Seid when he says that he's natural.

Post: #10

"you don't really wanna be eating egg yolks because they have 3g of carbs" ~ Jeff Seid

Post: #11

say no more, https://www.youtube.com/user/BroScienceLife

Post: #12

The worst one I used to hear all the time that made me fucking cringe was when someone would call each bottle of juice they got a cycle, "I just bought 4 cycles" you mean you bought 4 bottles and that's your cycle?

Post: #13

Parroting Mark Rippetoe like he's the Tesla of weightlifting.

Post: #14

In GNC
"Do you have a whey protein with BCAAs? Branching Chain Amino Acids"
"Well actually, protein is MADE of Amino Acids so"

Post: #15

(07-23-2015 02:41 PM)Sonsowey Wrote:  In GNC
"Do you have a whey protein with BCAAs? Branching Chain Amino Acids"
"Well actually, protein is MADE of Amino Acids so"

GNC is a joke. I almost lost my shit when some older lady pronounced Creatine as cre-at-tin. She said a doctor friend of hers told her that's how you say it and refused to believe me that it's not the way it's pronounced after I actually argued with her for a solid 2 minutes. I looked around to see if people were listening because I was dumbfounded by what was going on.

About a month later I go back and grab something real quick and at the register was this young skinny looking dude, I ask him if he knows the older lady that works there, he said yes so I say "do you know that she pronounces creatine as cre-at-tin?" He says "yea man that's how you say it", I responded with "you got to be fucking kidding me right?", pay for my shit and leave.

I will never return.

Post: #16

Why do you care how a cashier at a store pronounces any item the store sells?

"Where is the _______?" should be the extent of your questions. These people aren't your coaches, trainers, or doctors.

Post: #17

Post: #18

hahahaha

I can't say I have much to add except that I love it that the people who criticize me the most now that i'm getting in shape are people who are really skinny who look like they have never touched a weight in their life or fat people.

"Oh you're going to the gym too much" by some spagetti armed dude.
"Blowing yourself up like a baloon isn't natural" by a fat guy, apparently being fat and out of shape is more natural.

:Z

Post: #19

"I heard they (bodybuilders) inject their steroids into their testicles to make it safer"

"Bro, stay natural... that creatine stuff is dangerous"

"those guys are taking cow juice (as he was pointing at a pair of juice heads"

"I don't take hcg, never taken it... that's being too technical" - mega juicehead gym member

Post: #20

"You can tell that these people coming here 5 times a week are on roids. The human body can't naturally recover that fast. "

Post: #21

Takes dangerous preworkouts to 'get the buzz brah'
'You can't get big without shakes brah'
Watches Mike Chang
'Windows' for eating.

Post: #22

(07-26-2015 08:00 PM)Repo Wrote:  "You can tell that these people coming here 5 times a week are on roids. The human body can't naturally recover that fast. "

The human body usually can't recover from more than three full-body sessions per week, which is how guys trained before the advent of Dianabol and injectable testosterone. However, with the development and popularization of those two steroids, split routines developed and training five days a week became the new normal.

Post: #23

Wasn't referring to full body sessions, just regular guys doing bro splits. I've done that for years without steroids and still gained size (though I have also done it with steroids and gained size way quicker).