Post: #1

Hey guys,

I realized that the way I meet and proceed dating girls always follows the same pattern which I'm having a hard time to get control over.
I'd say the first few weeks of meeting a girl is the best time. I call it the initial stage (alpha stage). I'm not attached at all, I don't give a shit if she's meeting other guys on the side, I basically just wanna bang her repeatedly. My alpha frame is very strong and congruent in this initial stage and I don't have any problems applying and running all the solid game I learned in recent years. The FWB agreement is well established at this point.

However, after usually 1-2 months (depends on how much time I spend with her) I slowly slide into the midstage (beta stage). Even though we only meet once or twice a week and the main purpose of it is banging, I start caring about her and her life too much. I have to mention at this point that I'm only meeting girls whose personality is appealing to me too (I just can't bother about stupid girls with a hot shell only). I normally stop hanging out with other girls at this point, I'm going for the easy bang. But I still have other girls in line, I'm trying to keep an abundance mentality in order not to be dependant on one girl's arbitrary nature.
But still I end up investing more in her than she does and I do care and get mentally jealous (not showing it to her) if she's hanging out with other guys. I know it's wrong and I shouldn't give a fuck but it just hits me so hard at some point. I have to resist the urge telling her how much I miss her the days we don't meet. I even have sleeping disorders due to too much overthinking about whether she might be getting fucked by another guy at this very moment or meeting a guy who actually knows something about game like I do. I'm trying to suppress my feelings and get distracted by being busy, but it seems like my emotions get out of control. I know all the game rules, trying to stick to it, but it seems like my emotions are far behind and disrupt my game.

Eventually I approach the end stage (recovering alpha stage). Even though my true intentions are different, my emotional game managed to lure her into an exclusive relationship. The longer it goes, the less I start to care about her again, I get bored of her. Since indifference of the male amplifies attraction of the female, she's now even more into me. I want to get out of the relationship and bang other girls, I end up breaking her heart.

Now the point is, I want to stay in the initial stage of being FWB and avoid to develop any major feelings for her. I'm trying it, I know it's my intention, but I'm having a very hard time not becoming needy and emotional. I don't want a LTR now.

How can I control my emotions? What's wrong with me?

RedGuard

Post: #2

I don't think there's anything wrong with you.

FWB's don't last forever, or even that long at all. That's the problem. One of you will get bored, or too invested in the other. One of you will want more, or less. Eventually it's time to break things off, or get serious. Been there man, many times. You can kill off your emotions, but at what cost? This is the plight of the ladies' man.

Post: #3

If you see a flower you like, the last thing you want to do is pluck it and kill it. The attraction you have can be appreciated and enjoyed but you can't own it. As soon as you start doing that, women will sense you are being needy from a mile off and perceive it as weakness and then they will abandon you or vigorously test you.

Post: #4

It's totally understandable to have feeling for someone you're having sex with.

But you have to project into the future with these feelings. Where do they lead? If you act on them, maybe you'd be dating your sex buddy, then possibly marrying her. What then? From what I gather, it would be a life of worry and mistrust...that often leads to divorce, and misery.

Beyond that, would you really want to deal with her day to day into the distant future?

If the answer is "yes" and she's actually pretty trustworthy and decent, maybe you really do need to think about getting serious with her. But if you think this is someone who it would be torture to have as a girlfriend, think about that scenario whenever your feelings for her start to creep up.

Also, what does her mother look like? Because that's pretty much what you're going to be getting in a few years if you get serious. Sometimes that alone can stop strong feelings for a woman in their tracks.