Post: #1

I've been spending some time recently experimenting with online dating, on sites such as Match and POF in the UK. A curious phenomenon that has caught my attention is the number of women who contact me who are at least 5 years older than me (I recently turned 41 by the way), most of them being 48/49. Although some are hideous to look at, most are average-looking for their age, with about a third being quite good-looking. When I first registered for online dating around 2 years ago, I hardly noticed this phenomenon at all and have the impression that it is increasing in frequency every time I venture online. Not only this, but back then when I contacted a woman who was the same age or a year older than me, say, she would often express surprise that I would be interested in such an "older woman". Contrast that with today and woman who are a good 10 years older think nothing of trying their luck and feel no need to justify why I would even be interested in dating a woman 10 years my senior, at least as far as a long-term relationship is concerned, which is what they say they are after. Hell, I even had a 58 year-old message me for the second time in two weeks yesterday and - I shit you not - my first 71 year-old contacted me with a suggestive missive. This is a phenomenon that I'm also observing off-line, too, curiously. I've had a string of such older women over the past 3 months show an interest in me, often complementing me on my style and dress.

Contrasted with this, the women that I'm interested in, slim to slim-ish between the age of 25-40, seem to be becoming much more indifferent to my expressions of interest. For example, a couple of months ago it only took me 3 days of online tapping around to get a date with a slim, blonde 7 who was a few years younger than me through Match. She even took the trouble to drive 20 miles to meet me, since I couldn't be arsed travelling up to her hometown and, although I didn't bang her, there was enough sexual chemistry to at least get a decent make-out. Unfortunately, she later flaked and decided we were "not compatible" but at least it was doable within a relatively short period of time online. However, I've been pissing around the last couple of weeks using the same techniques as I used to get the last date - and a lot more besides - but all I'm getting online is either wildebeests in their 30s or women near the 50 year old mark who may or may not be in good condition for their age. I really do have the impression that with every passing month online dating is truly becoming nothing more than a dumpster-diving option for men, even ones that can pull OK-looking women in real life.

My question to the RVFers is this: Has anybody else observed the phenomenon of getting hit on by much older women online and agree that it's becoming more common? What conclusions can we draw from this as regards the sexual market place?

Post: #2

(09-04-2015 06:14 AM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  I've been spending some time recently experimenting with online dating, on sites such as Match and POF in the UK. A curious phenomenon that has caught my attention is the number of women who contact me who are at least 5 years older than me (I recently turned 41 by the way), most of them being 48/49. Although some are hideous to look at, most are average-looking for their age, with about a third being quite good-looking. When I first registered for online dating around 2 years ago, I hardly noticed this phenomenon at all and have the impression that it is increasing in frequency every time I venture online. Not only this, but back then when I contacted a woman who was the same age or a year older than me, say, she would often express surprise that I would be interested in such an "older woman". Contrast that with today and woman who are a good 10 years older think nothing of trying their luck and feel no need to justify why I would even be interested in dating a woman 10 years my senior, at least as far as a long-term relationship is concerned, which is what they say they are after. Hell, I even had a 58 year-old message me for the second time in two weeks yesterday and - I shit you not - my first 71 year-old contact me with a suggestive missive. This is a phenomenon that I'm also observing off-line, too, curiously. I've had a string of such older women over the past 3 months show an interest in me, often complementing me on my style and dress.

Contrasted with this, the women that I'm interested in, slim to slim-ish between the age of 25-40, seem to be becoming much more indifferent to my expressions of interest. For example, a couple of months ago it only took me 3 days of online tapping around to get a date with a slim, blonde 7 who was a few years younger than me through Match. She even took the trouble to drive 20 miles to meet me, since I couldn't be arsed travelling up to her hometown and, although I didn't bang her, there was enough sexual chemistry to at least get a decent make-out. Unfortunately, she later flaked and decided we were "not compatible" but at least it was doable within a relatively short period of time online. However, I've been pissing around the last couple of weeks using the same techniques as I used to get the last date - and a lot more besides - but all I'm getting online is either wildebeests in their 30s or women near the 50 year old mark who may or may not be in good condition for their age. I really do have the impression that with every passing month online dating is truly becoming nothing more than a dumpster-diving option for men, even ones that can pull OK-looking women in real life.

My question to the RVFers is this: Has anybody else observed the phenomenon of getting hit on by much older women online and agree that it's becoming more common? What conclusions can we draw from this as regards the sexual market place?

Dude just forget online dating, meet people in real life, you're at a disadvantage online. You're not gonna meet a hot /good looking girl online - or at least it's very rare. Why would a good looking girl be meeting people off of Tinder or Match or something? That doesn't make any sense. Good looking girls have a very easy time meeting new people, getting into new circles etc. Most girls on these dating sites just want attention.

Post: #3

(09-04-2015 06:26 AM)Ice Wrote:  Dude just forget online dating, meet people in real life, you're at a disadvantage online. You're not gonna meet a hot /good looking girl online - or at least it's very rare. Why would a good looking girl be meeting people off of Tinder or Match or something? That doesn't make any sense. Good looking girls have a very easy time meeting new people, getting into new circles etc. Most girls on these dating sites just want attention.

You're kidding right? Have you read any of the online dating threads in the main forum? Have you ever tried it for yourself and actually invested some time into getting it work with for you as a supplemental way to meet women?

Those are rhetorical questions.

I guess I need to drop some new stuff over there since the old OKC thread got to like 500 pages.

(09-04-2015 06:14 AM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  My question to the RVFers is this: Has anybody else observed the phenomenon of getting hit on by much older women online and agree that it's becoming more common? What conclusions can we draw from this as regards the sexual market place?

It is absolutely becoming more common and these women are getting more and more bold. The best advice I can offer is don't spend any time on them - don't respond and move on. Stick to a rule of thumb and use filters, whether it's age, SIF sniffing, boner test, whatever. Your gut is often right.

Post: #4

"Hell, I even had a 58 year-old message me for the second time in two weeks yesterday and - I shit you not - my first 71 year-old contact me with a suggestive missive. This is a phenomenon that I'm also observing off-line, too, curiously. I've had a string of such older women over the past 3 months show an interest in me, often complementing me on my style and dress."

Yes, this happened to me within my first week on OKC. Women close to my mother's age were contacting me.

Didn't know what to do, so I left the site, meaning to rewrite my profile, but I never did. I felt bad rejecting these women, but I wasn't about to be hanging out with them either.

Seems like yesterday I was attracting the 18-year-old mentor students at my old newspaper job. Not it's their grandmothers. Not good.

Post: #5

"Hell, I even had a 58 year-old message me for the second time in two weeks yesterday and - I shit you not - my first 71 year-old contact me with a suggestive missive. This is a phenomenon that I'm also observing off-line, too, curiously. I've had a string of such older women over the past 3 months show an interest in me, often complementing me on my style and dress."

Yes, this happened to me within my first week on OKC. Women close to my mother's age were contacting me.

Didn't know what to do, so I left the site, meaning to rewrite my profile, but I never did. I felt bad rejecting these women, but I wasn't about to be hanging out with them either.

Seems like yesterday I was attracting the 18-year-old mentor students at my old newspaper job. Now it's their grandmothers. Not good.

Post: #6

(09-04-2015 07:08 AM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  "Hell, I even had a 58 year-old message me for the second time in two weeks yesterday and - I shit you not - my first 71 year-old contact me with a suggestive missive. This is a phenomenon that I'm also observing off-line, too, curiously. I've had a string of such older women over the past 3 months show an interest in me, often complementing me on my style and dress."

Yes, this happened to me within my first week on OKC. Women close to my mother's age were contacting me.

Didn't know what to do, so I left the site, meaning to rewrite my profile, but I never did. I felt bad rejecting these women, but I wasn't about to be hanging out with them either.

Seems like yesterday I was attracting the 18-year-old mentor students at my old newspaper job. Now it's their grandmothers. Not good.

This is the killer for me, too. It's not that I'm offended per se by their interest, but am more concerned that it's a sign of a much worsening sexual market place for men, in that average-looking slim older women can sense that many decent-looking guys much younger than them are locked out of the sexual market place in the Anglosphere and so will be prepared to trade down age-wise because they can't find a slim woman of their own age.

Post: #7

You can eliminate this problem by setting the age range that can contact you via email settings in POF. So only put 25-40 years old if that is your preferred age range.

Having said that, I did date a couple of 7/8's from POF and Smooch.

Post: #8

A woman being [bold]/[Desperate]. Pick one.

If these women were bold they wouldn't be online, they'd be in relationships with men they met outside of the internet. So that leaves desperate.

Post: #9

(09-04-2015 07:20 AM)Guitarman Wrote:  You can eliminate this problem by setting the age range that can contact you via email settings in POF. So only put 25-40 years old if that is your preferred age range.

Having said that, I did date a couple of 7/8's from POF and Smooch.

I've already set my age range to 30-41, but that still doesn't dissuade them from contacting me. It's not the contacting me per se that bothers me, but more the rationale that lies behind it, since they must surely know that men do not prefer women who are older than they are, given how women generally age more poorly than men. So the only conclusion I'm left with is that they must reason that the vast majority men have relatively few options online and so they've got a chance. Within this context, getting messages from them irks me because it only seems to be an official confirmation of the lack of interest from women that I truly desire online, i.e. slim and not older than 40.

This is more evidence, if any were needed, that Game is not only a highly valuable aid to success in the Anglosphere but a necessarily prerequisite for success if one is looking to bang women that one is actually reasonably attracted to.

Post: #10

(09-04-2015 07:15 AM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  

(09-04-2015 07:08 AM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  "Hell, I even had a 58 year-old message me for the second time in two weeks yesterday and - I shit you not - my first 71 year-old contact me with a suggestive missive. This is a phenomenon that I'm also observing off-line, too, curiously. I've had a string of such older women over the past 3 months show an interest in me, often complementing me on my style and dress."

Yes, this happened to me within my first week on OKC. Women close to my mother's age were contacting me.

Didn't know what to do, so I left the site, meaning to rewrite my profile, but I never did. I felt bad rejecting these women, but I wasn't about to be hanging out with them either.

Seems like yesterday I was attracting the 18-year-old mentor students at my old newspaper job. Now it's their grandmothers. Not good.

This is the killer for me, too. It's not that I'm offended per se by their interest, but am more concerned that it's a sign of a much worsening sexual market place for men, in that average-looking slim older women can sense that many decent-looking guys much younger than them are locked out of the sexual market place in the Anglosphere and so will be prepared to trade down age-wise because they can't find a slim woman of their own age.

You know what? I need to rescind what I just wrote. My memory is either faulty or selective.

Because while it's definitely true I was dating the 18-year-old mentor students when I was 25-26, I had totally forgotten about all the older women at this job.

And there were scads. I was regularly "hanging out" with a 48-year-old divorcee and constantly getting flirted with by a female editor and an advertising rep around that age. Then there were the women a few years older. One of whom I (gulp) married.

None of this bothered me then. I think the difference was:

1). Older women seemed amusing and/or sexually interesting when I was 25. Not so at 45.

2). This works better in person. There is something about an older woman contacting you online that seems desperate or even rude. But who doesn't like to get flirted with in person, esp. if the older woman is halfway decent?

And so, I think I should say that this was always going on to some degree, at least in my world. It just seems less fun as the years pass by and "older" goes from meaning "MILF" to "GILF."

Post: #11

If they are still able to contact you on POF you haven't set your profile up correctly. If set up correctly it will be impossible for them to email you on POF, all they can do is use the favourite you and click "meet me".

Post: #12

I thought the trick with them was to make them become the mother or grandmother figure you (might) no longer have.

Post: #13

For men, there's a reverse dynamic in effect. When I was in my early-20's, those same Cougars helped me gain more "experience" with the opposite sex. They provided entertainment, introduced me to new cuisine, opened the door to new connections and had the means (read:money) to keep my interest temporarily.

Only thing is - it will wear off, and with it goes the appeal. Older women were a diversion, and intrinsically we both provided each other with a short term fix. No more than a check mark off the old bucket list.

Now that they can see the enemy online (younger, fit girls) the older birds feel like they have to be bolder to compete with the shrinking pool of interested men.

Post: #14

(09-04-2015 08:44 AM)MY DETROIT PLAYAS Wrote:  For men, there's a reverse dynamic in effect. When I was in my early-20's, those same Cougars helped me gain more "experience" with the opposite sex. They provided entertainment, introduced me to new cuisine, opened the door to new connections and had the means (read:money) to keep my interest temporarily.

Only thing is - it will wear off, and with it goes the appeal. Older women were a diversion, and intrinsically we both provided each other with a short term fix. No more than a check mark off the old bucket list.

Now that they can see the enemy online (younger, fit girls) the older birds feel like they have to be bolder to compete with the shrinking pool of interested men.

I'm with detroit here, no need to be reviled by older women if you are young and lacking in means. Older women usually don't try to fuck up your shit as much, are pretty laid back etc. They are especially great if you are new in town as they will take you out and you can learn the city. They also seem to get the message pretty quickly with ghost/fade out game once you find its time to switch you younger broads when your feet are under you.

Post: #15

It's not just online.. I had a ~70 yr old come on to me at a bar a few months back. Still grosses me out..

Post: #16

(09-04-2015 08:59 AM)Racer-X Wrote:  It's not just online.. I had a ~70 yr old come on to me at a bar a few months back. Still grosses me out..

70? Does it even work at that age?

Post: #17

Helpful hint: Lie about your age on your profile. Knock yourself down to 35 and you'll have better luck with the young'uns on Tinder, etc.

You should be able to shave a few years without issue. I'm 42 and I can easily pass for 30s. If she pushes on it, then just use your standard Game tactics to get the hamster wheel spinning.

Post: #18

The hottest girl I have pulled so far came from the internet. I won't be so quick to write it off. It ebbs and flows though...one month it'll be barren as a desert, then suddenly a spike of interest that you should attempt to capitalize on. I got my MILF/cougar flag courtesy of online dating too.

Post: #19

(09-04-2015 10:16 AM)not_dead_yet Wrote:  Helpful hint: Lie about your age on your profile. Knock yourself down to 35 and you'll have better luck with the young'uns on Tinder, etc.

You should be able to shave a few years without issue. I'm 42 and I can easily pass for 30s. If she pushes on it, then just use your standard Game tactics to get the hamster wheel spinning.

I'm 29 and I'm headed in that direction. When I share my real age, I get a whole load of 27-30+ women who think that they are in my league. Very few girls under 25 messaging me.

I'm going to knock my age down to 24 and see what type of ass crawls out of the woodwork.

Post: #20

(09-04-2015 07:31 AM)Foolsgo1d Wrote:  A woman being [bold]/[Desperate]. Pick one.

If these women were bold they wouldn't be online, they'd be in relationships with men they met outside of the internet. So that leaves desperate.

That's one opinion, but you're way off the mark when it comes to what is actually happening. That's just not the way it is anymore, at least in the US. There are hoards of women, attractive/ugly/skinny/fat/young/old and everything in between. Dating online doesn't make you a desperate basement dwelling loser anymore, for either sex. Everyone is doing it, even those "unattainable hotties." Times have changed. That doesn't mean it's easy, in fact it's even more difficult and more competitive now than ever. You need top notch pictures/profiles/openers/transition to text/text game/logistics and then actual real life game to get anywhere. No one said it was easy.

Yes, being bold in person and being bold on the internet are two different experiences. That doesn't change the the fact that bold is the way they are acting online. Desperate? Maybe at times. But if they messaged you first that is absolutely bold. Bah I didn't come here to argue semantics, waste of time.

Post: #21

I like older women anyway (thought 40s and 50s is pushing it). My last was a 38-year old with one of the tightest, cellulite-free bodies I've ever seen. We were also able to have actual conversations before and after we banged. I don't have that with 20s chicks. They're semi-retarded or something (if we're talking Western girls). There's gotta be more to it than just banging.

Post: #22

If you look at the profiles of middle aged women on OKC, where the age range of men they are seeking is shown, it is very typical that she will specify she wants men aged maybe 2-3 years older than her but 8-12 years younger. For example, a 42 year old woman will have her male age range set to 32-44. That's pretty much the norm. You rarely see a woman specifying she wants men up to 10 years older which is the norm in reality.

So what's going on? I think a lot of these women have the experience that the men a few years older they would actually like to date reject them in favor of younger women, and so they preemptively reject them online. They know younger guys will be much more eager and complimentary. Plus some of the these women really are cougars who are seeking out younger men for casual sport fucking. But I think it's much more the former than the latter.

Post: #23

Anything above 50 is downright horrific. It has to be like fucking a mummy. 60 is probably like fucking a moldy breadbox. 70..there's no difference between a man and a woman. Even a woman in her late 30's is pretty hard sell in most of the world without sea hags as the average female specimen.

She'd have to be one of those rare gems that has an amazing body but even then that's like befriending a unicorn during a late night stroll through the woods.

Post: #24

(09-04-2015 06:36 AM)Gmac Wrote:  

(09-04-2015 06:26 AM)Ice Wrote:  Dude just forget online dating, meet people in real life, you're at a disadvantage online. You're not gonna meet a hot /good looking girl online - or at least it's very rare. Why would a good looking girl be meeting people off of Tinder or Match or something? That doesn't make any sense. Good looking girls have a very easy time meeting new people, getting into new circles etc. Most girls on these dating sites just want attention.

You're kidding right? Have you read any of the online dating threads in the main forum? Have you ever tried it for yourself and actually invested some time into getting it work with for you as a supplemental way to meet women?

Those are rhetorical questions.

I guess I need to drop some new stuff over there since the old OKC thread got to like 500 pages.

(09-04-2015 06:14 AM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  My question to the RVFers is this: Has anybody else observed the phenomenon of getting hit on by much older women online and agree that it's becoming more common? What conclusions can we draw from this as regards the sexual market place?

It is absolutely becoming more common and these women are getting more and more bold. The best advice I can offer is don't spend any time on them - don't respond and move on. Stick to a rule of thumb and use filters, whether it's age, SIF sniffing, boner test, whatever. Your gut is often right.

lol

But yeah you're right - I wasn't on a single online dating site in last 18 months or so .. I just couldn't be bothered. But you know what, maybe I'll just try it out.

It's just that from my personal POV, I just wouldn't know why hot girls would be spending time on these platforms. As a hot girl it's very easy to get a job as a model or "assistant" or whatever & they'll be meeting new people all the time.

But as I said, now that you mentioned it, I think I will do another test run and report back.

Post: #25

(09-04-2015 11:01 AM)Ice Wrote:  lol

But yeah you're right - I wasn't on a single online dating site in last 18 months or so .. I just couldn't be bothered. But you know what, maybe I'll just try it out.

It's just that from my personal POV, I just wouldn't know why hot girls would be spending time on these platforms. As a hot girl it's very easy to get a job as a model or "assistant" or whatever & they'll be meeting new people all the time.

But as I said, now that you mentioned it, I think I will do another test run and report back.

Every guy I know that hasn't tried online dating (at least recently) has said the exact same thing to me. There are girls out there who don't go out, or can't. Some of these girls don't have cars or live near public transportation. Some have jobs or lifestyles that keep them away from the "day game" and "night game" places you might frequent. You won't meet a lot of these girls any other way because they you would never have crossed their path otherwise. Trust me, but remember I never said it was easy.