Post: #1

Hey guys, this question is honestly so basic that I don't even know if this is a good place to post it or not, but hey, why not give it a shot.

I'm a senior in high school, white, blonde, blue eyes, 6'3", 90kg, pretty normal guy by all means. I'm not nerdy at all, and I've spent a long time working on my social skills. That's not to say they started off as being bad - I just genuinely enjoy talking to people and I kind of pride myself on being a good conversationalist. I'm interesting to talk to and have plenty of valuable things to say, but I'm not full of myself and I enjoy listening to people just as much as I like telling funny stories or making jokes.

I've slowly built my confidence over the years and I'm now at a point where I can walk into a party, strike up a conversation with anyone who I don't know with ease and become the centre of attention by just being a generally goofy and laid back guy. I move between friendship groups (outside of my core one) pretty fluidly because I don't like pissing people off or getting people offside, and I generally try to be a friend to all so people have no issues with inviting me to come out with them.

This probably sounds very arrogant but I can assure you that's not how I meant it. I'm just trying to describe myself so that you guys know I'm not just some nerd who can't talk to girls and sits inside playing games and wishing I had better social skills or confidence. I'm very happy with where I am right now as a person and I am very lucky to not have any major issues, however I have the absolute least amount of success with girls that you can imagine.

As I said, having an engaging conversation with someone of either gender is one of my strong points, however I am completely lost when it comes to turning those positive vibes in a sexual direction. I'll leave a party with 10 of my friends - all 10 of them will have made out with at least one girl, 3 of them will have gotten blowjobs and 1 of them might have gotten laid. I'll leave the party with 15 new best friends who I'll likely never see again and absolutely no sexual action... Every single time.

The final straw that prompted me to write this is a good example. This happened last weekend. I was at a party I'd been +1'ed to and I knew 2 people out of 100, who both left after an hour. I end up having a really interesting conversation with these two girls for ages and while neither of them would have caught my eye in a crowd, their super-nice personalities added a huge amount to how attractive I found them. One of them was laughing at all of my bad jokes and I was getting some good vibes. Fast forward 30 minutes and she and I are sitting together on a ledge with my arm around her and her head resting on my shoulder, looking like a full on couple to the rest of the group we were chatting to. All but 2 of the group left, and I got really fed up with waiting because I was sure this girl was into me, so I completely changed my posture towards her and (I was drunk) tried to softly pull her chin to face me. She was completely oblivious to what was going on and my operation had failed miserably. A few minutes later she left to use the bathroom and her friend lent down to tell me to hurry up and make a move. So I clearly wasn't misinterpreting the situation because another girl picked it up too. I told her I had just tried and she apologised for her friend's inexperience and said she wasn't rejecting me. Regardless, I didn't see the girl for the rest of the night and absolutely fucking nothing came out of it.

So, sorry this has got so long but my question is - how do I progress from good conversation and getting on a girl's good side to even just making out with them? I'm about to finish high school and I don't even care about sex yet. I just want a hook up here and there and maybe a blowjob if I'm super lucky. I feel like I'm 95% of the way there but I'm just missing some kind of sexual cue or something that will finish the job. I honestly can't describe how frustrating it is to routinely get close with girls but never have anything come out of it.

Thanks for taking the time to read guys! Any advice would be much appreciated.

Post: #2

Isolate and then escalate. "Hey, let's check out the back yard", then go for the make out and then bang. Or "hey let's check out the view from the other room"(lead her to one of the bedrooms). Then go for the make out and try to bang.

You are really over thinking this.

You have to be willing to put your balls on the table and escalate. You are friend zoning yourself by not escalating. But fear not, I didn't even figure out all of this stuff until I was well out of college, and you are still in high school.

Post: #3

It sounds like you didn't sexualize the conversation or your kino, so to her it just looked like her new gay bff suddenly grew a third head. What to you felt like her getting close to you in a couple-y way, to her was like getting close to her girlfriends - remember, men and women think differently and have different thresholds of touch.

It could also be ASD, so she could have wanted to kiss you but not in front of everyone. Like above, isolate and escalate.

Post: #4

You are going to have to get outside your comfort zone. You've gotten over the first hurdle, having a normal conversation with a girl. That's great. Now you have to keep pushing outside of where you are comfortable. You'll have to start putting out sexual vibes as well. Long lingering eye contact, strong body language, touching, and yes, sexualizing the conversation. This will take practice, and is not easy. There is plenty of material in this forum for just that, as well as from Bang. A great one I stole is "when is the last time you had sex?" This should not come out of the blue necessarily, but it's a great way to make your intentions known, without going too far. Tweak and tune, friend.

Post: #5

When you're making your new "friends", touch them. A lot.

Post: #6

(09-20-2015 09:49 AM)Sonoma Wrote:  When you're making your new "friends", touch them. A lot.

Yeah, I agree with this.

Almost to the point of manhandling them. Grab them, move them about physically, move them about the party.

You'll quickly figure out from the reactions which girls are into you.

Post: #7

Hey grasshopper.

I think you're doing the right things by building up your social circle etc. However, in reading through the way you go about it, you seem like a "people pleaser." I can tell because I've been there and then seen other guys bang the girls I was real "social" with.

Escalation is good and all but it will not come off as genuine if you don't change your mindset. Mentally, you need to be prepared to "focus" attention on one person or a few people rather than focusing on pleasing the crowd. You are not a clown.

I know it feels good to please others but you have to channel that into how it pleases you rather than others. And then stop giving a shit about consequences. Benefit to this is that you'll spend less time with the crowd and more with those that are quality people.

Key to escalation is not caring about what she thinks. Good luck.

Post: #8

(09-20-2015 11:20 AM)Cobra Wrote:  Hey grasshopper.

I think you're doing the right things by building up your social circle etc. However, in reading through the way you go about it, you seem like a "people pleaser." I can tell because I've been there and then seen other guys bang the girls I was real "social" with.

Escalation is good and all but it will not come off as genuine if you don't change your mindset. Mentally, you need to be prepared to "focus" attention on one person or a few people rather than focusing on pleasing the crowd. You are not a clown.

I will disagree with this last bit. A lot of women are attracted to a clown. See chucklefuckers. Women like to fuck men that make them laugh. But you can't be taking any of this too seriously, you need to go for the make out and be willing to try to get a girl into bed, I think right now you are not trying to get the girls into bed because you are afraid they might reject you. Have the mindset that you need to make them reject you and push the interaction as far as you can physically.

By what you are describing, most of these girls you are meeting are totally into you but pick up that you don't know what to do, and since you don't escalate, you are boring them to tears and they leave you to go find a guy who gets it and knows how to lead them and understands the importance of escalating.

Post: #9

(09-20-2015 10:14 AM)CrashBangWallop Wrote:  

(09-20-2015 09:49 AM)Sonoma Wrote:  When you're making your new "friends", touch them. A lot.

Yeah, I agree with this.

Almost to the point of manhandling them. Grab them, move them about physically, move them about the party.

You'll quickly figure out from the reactions which girls are into you.

This and if they start repeatedly asking you questions without you saying anything, they are probably interested. It took me a really long time to figure that all out.

Post: #10

Besides what has been mentioned above, this from Tut's New Recipe for Securing First-Date Bangs should help (emphasis mine):

Quote:Step 7. Give her the drink, sit down, and go back to work.
Now you're in the home stretch, player. You're comfortable and isolated. It gets easy from here. I usually sip the drink with her and chat for another 10-12 minutes; just long enough for her to barely start to wonder if I'm actually not going to make a move. "Is this guy actually atttracted to me? Is he a pussy? He seems into me, though. What the fuck?” Then, if she hasn't set her drink down herself already, I take her drink, set it on the coffee table, and start the make out.

Doing this assertively mid-sentence should almost never fail.