Post: #1

Some on RVF will advise marrying someone 10-15 years younger than you, because they age quickly, etc. (Of course some advise not marrying at all, but I do want kids one day). So that puts you in the 35-45 year old range when looking to marry. Problem is... realistically, how easy is it for a 35-45 year old to pull 20-29 year olds. How many 35-45 year olds do you know actually are married to people 10-15 year olds younger than them? Wouldn't you be taking on a huge risk waiting that long? What if you're unable to pull the twenty year olds, and then have to go to the 30's and 40's? Then you're really screwed.

Wouldn't it be more rational to seek to marry in your mid to late twenties, since you probably have a better chance of courting someone closer to your age and you don't want to marry a girl past 29?

I'm courting this girl I met in Budapest, Hungary when I was traveling abroad who is two years younger (I'm 27). I do want kids one day, but not in a rush. She came to visit me here in the US, paid for her own ticket, so far seems like a good girl/marriage material, doesn't do drugs not even marijuana, handles liquor well/doesn't like many drinks, strong family support (constantly in communication with brother, mother, father, grandmother), did not complete higher education, shy, and submissive. The only red flags I'm seeing is extra piercings on her ears/cartilage, thinking about getting a tattoo but not too serious about it, and her mother and father divorced. Thing is she is almost too shy for my liking and hard to open her up. I guess that is good sign in terms of marriage material, but my past two serious relationships were social butterflies, which I enjoyed, and I'm not so sure if I'm going to like being with such a shy girl or not. Anyways I digressed, and that's a matter for a different post, but I'd appreciate thoughts on whether waiting for 35-40 to marry is a good idea, as it seems a bit late realistically.

Post: #2

My first question is how old are you ?

Marriage is a SERIOUS business first off.

You're barely courting a girl from your travels, and you're thinking if she's marriage material ?

That's putting the cart before the horse my friend, sounds like you're putting her on the pedestal right now.

It is telling she bought her own way to visit you in the states, she might be a great prospect, the divorce thing and tats do tell of red flags.

Quote:how easy is it for a 35-45 year old to pull 20-29 year olds?

It's pretty easy if you have GAME/FRAME, there's a few guys I can reference on the forum that in that age range and still pull young girls.

Another important thing is that you shouldn't be afraid to be living life alone, not having kids, and not having marriage.

Quite a few on RVF would advocate NOT getting married in the States to begin with, especially with the climate and courts being anti-male.

There's nothing wrong with marrying a girl your age if you're young, if she's very young, or if she's in her mid 20's.

What's more important is if there are any red flags, a dysfunctional family, how she acts, how she looks, etc.

The question is WHY do you want to get married ? What are your goals ?

Post: #3

When you said:

Quote:It's pretty easy if you have GAME/FRAME, there's a few guys I can reference on the forum that in that age range and still pull young girls.

I'm not talking about gaming girls that young just for sex. I'm talking about getting girls that young when you're 35+ to want to marry you and have kids, assuming you're not a celebrity or very rich. Are you talking about the same thing? I'm not surprised that some men are able to pull younger girls for casual sex, and maybe they're curious about experiencing their first older man. But, I doubt that these flings often turn into healthy marriages with kids. Maybe I'm wrong, which is why I made this post to see if anyone here was successful in marrying a girl 10-15 years younger.

I'm 27.

My goals are to have a family one day. I realize it's a long battle. It's not like I'm gonna wake up one day when I'm 35 and say hey it's time to go get that wife. I want to start the process early, as I think it would only get exponentially harder later on. It does sound nice to be able to wait until I'm 30-35 and bang sluts until then, and then find someone 10-15 years younger, but I worry that when I'm 35, it'll be harder to find those young, healthy, fertile, undrugged, good women to have children with. Which is the original question of the post. That's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking long game. Long-term gratification, vs short-term. I am sort of scared of getting old in my 40s and 50s and finding my wife turning into not very attractive, but based on some of the posts I've been reading on RVF, I hope by then maybe I'll be able to have mistresses on the side, for example, if she'd ever travel to Hungary to visit the family, etc. I hope she would never find out, or maybe I could have a conversation with her about my sexual needs and hope she'd understand.

I categorize girls generally into casual sex or marriage material. For most girls in the states, I discover many serious red flags almost immediately which places them into the first bucket. I was born in Russia, raised by two Russians who themselves are very traditional, and have dual citizenship in the states, moved here when I was a little kid, so am not per-se your typical American dude, but still well assimilated into the culture. With this foreign one, I've spent about 15 days with her physically, 5 days in Budapest, 10 days here, and we've been skyping ~once a week for the past 3 months, and so far not too many red flags, with the only serious red flag being the parents' divorce. So far, she is not in the first bucket, compared to some other girls I've met here who fall into the slut bucket almost within an hour of meeting them. Only possible dealbreaker that I may be facing is that she's still extremely shy, and doesn't open up much, which sometimes comes off very boring, and insecure. Part of it is probably exacerbated by her English being a second language, and not familiar with America. I told her I'm thinking of visiting her in Budapest this winter, and this time I'll possibly stay for a whole month. By then, I told her I hope that she opens up more. If she doesn't and remains super shy, I'll have to end it.

Even though her two parents are divorced, I wouldn't say she has a super dysfunctional family. Her parents were married 15 years before they divorced. She still maintains a good relationship with her father, and her relationship with her mother has been getting better, although she resents her mother for having lovers on the side in Hungary while the father worked in Germany. Furthermore, she has an older brother that looks after her very well and always on my ass to make sure I'm not trying to lead her on. We're good friends. I actually met her brother 4 years ago when I visited Hungary, and this time when I came to visit him, he introduced me to his sister. Also, she lives with her grandmother so they're all pretty much well connected.

I'm not in an "exclusive" relationship with her at the moment, mainly because I refuse to do long distance (I haven't told her that part, but it's pretty much implied), so I don't believe that I'm putting her on the pedestal. Keep in mind, we've already had sex plenty of times, and she's generally pretty submissive, wants me to be in charge, no problem there; actually, it's sort of becoming some what a turn off since I almost have to do everything for her, both outside the bedroom and in it. But, we're still in the 'getting to know each other' phase, so I hope this improves. She is very serious about trying to find a way to come to America so she could be closer to me, as I told her that my future is here in America. I'm sure the possibility of raising a family in America to her is very attractive, although she's good about not getting too excited about that, says she doesn't care if I'm in America or in Siberia, she wants to come see me wherever I am, but I still must be careful about that. Still, so far I think she really is attracted to me, but I remain cautious. A bit random, but she claims to have orgasmed when I was touching her at a concert with her clothes on, says it's how I make her feel, and that it's me. Of course, I take that with a grain of salt, it could be just what I want to hear. Just re-assuring to me that she does find me attractive, and isn't trying to make some odd elaborate plot to get a free ride into America. But honestly I don't pretend to understand female biology, but so far I believe the signs that she's into me, and of course the prospect of coming to America may play into that, too.

I never asked her, but she told me on her own that she has not slept with anyone while I was in the US and she in Budapest for the past 3 months. Frankly, I believe her, but it doesn't matter if she did or not. I tell her that's not any of my business, and she's not obligated to tell me because we're not in the "exclusive" phase. I think she implied she wants things to be "exclusive" but I kinda brushed her off. I've been banging a girl or two here in the states, casual sex, and plan on continuing to do so; I haven't told her this per-se, but I think she knows it. I think she's smart enough not to confront me on this matter, because I won't do long distance. I tell her the truth (and it really is the truth) is that I'm only pursuing her at the moment, and not pursuing anyone else (banging some girls here for fun is not pursuing them). I think I was drunk and implied to her that I do hook up with some girls here and there, but nothing serious (I don't think she liked it, but probably understands, i.e., long distance, etc). Which is a stronger incentive for her to try to come here. I tell her that if she was here with me or I in Budapest, then it'd just be me and her. In a way, I kinda like this long-distance buffer as it gives me an excuse to keep things not exclusive.

Post: #4

I think you're being defeatist by stating that you'd have to settle for older chicks if you can't snag younger chicks (as per the age bracket you mentioned).

If you aren't being successful with girls significantly younger, it highlights your weaknesses in game more than anything.

Improve everything in your life where you see deficiencies, and the girls that you want will come to you.

I'm speaking from first hand experience here by the way - I'm 37 and am with a 23 year old who doesn't drink, is family oriented, treats me like a king, is an 8/10 and saved herself for me.

Post: #5

^ What country is she from?

Post: #6

Indonesia.

Post: #7

@Windom Earle, I'm 27, I read you were married earlier with a child, how old were you when you got married, and when divorced the first time? If you were to go back in time, would you have waited until you were in your mid-30s to get married to someone else younger, or you don't have any regrets?

Are you looking to get married to this new Indonesian girl potentially a second time, and have kids? Or are you looking to keep it casual, or at least not planning on having kids anymore?

Hypothetically, if you were in your mid twenties, like myself, and you met this new wonderful Indonesian girl in this same scenario, would it have been best for you to marry her then, or wait until you're in your mid-thirties and try at another young one?

(If you don't want to reveal too much publicly, I'd appreciate if you could PM me then, Thanks).

Post: #8

OP

At 27 your future wife should be about 10 right now

Post: #9

The pros (+):
- Can pay for her own travel
- Is not too much older than you
- Handles booze well
- Is Asian

The cons (-):
- Piercings, and thinking about tattoos
- Broken family background

Supposing that the physical appearence is good, don't forget that she comes from a broken family. It isn't widowed parents, it is divorced parents. Girls become like their mothers. At this point, I'd say to wait a bit. I don't know whether she's a virgin or not, but if she isn't, there is a low percentage of chance that she will be with you forever.

Think carefully

Post: #10

(09-21-2015 08:10 PM)yolo Wrote:  @Windom Earle, I'm 27, I read you were married earlier with a child, how old were you when you got married, and when divorced the first time?

31, relationship lasted 7 years in total (married for 2.5 years out of that).

(09-21-2015 08:10 PM)yolo Wrote:  If you were to go back in time, would you have waited until you were in your mid-30s to get married to someone else younger, or you don't have any regrets?

I think the most important aspect here is compatibility above all else. As nice as a youthful bride is, ageing is inexorable, so you can't really hang your hat on that indefinitely. Notwithstanding, you're going to want your future wife to be in the ideal child-bearing age bracket, on top of a stringent check list of "green flags".

Even though I wasn't a spring chicken myself when I married the first time around, I hadn't truly explored the depths of my personality to know what I really wanted out of life (with minimal compromises). I can thank this forum for my personal growth. To be honest, I'd still be pretty frustrated/miserable if I hadn't - without ever really being able to put my finger on the why. Now, through lifting the veil from the true nature of women (and the machinations of society) I know.

(09-21-2015 08:10 PM)yolo Wrote:  Are you looking to get married to this new Indonesian girl potentially a second time, and have kids? Or are you looking to keep it casual, or at least not planning on having kids anymore?

I am absolutely looking to wife this girl up and have a family with her. I only say that now due to the level of personal growth (and increases in notches) that I've achieved over the last 3 years.

(09-21-2015 08:10 PM)yolo Wrote:  Hypothetically, if you were in your mid twenties, like myself, and you met this new wonderful Indonesian girl in this same scenario, would it have been best for you to marry her then, or wait until you're in your mid-thirties and try at another young one?

I think men, due to a raft of circumstances (but mainly, their type of personality and their familial support network), mature at different rates. So, a man might be quite ready to take the plunge at a relatively young age, due to having strong frame control from knowing who he is, what he wants and how to get it.

Post: #11

(09-21-2015 06:54 PM)yolo Wrote:  
I'm not talking about gaming girls that young just for sex. I'm talking about getting girls that young when you're 35+ to want to marry you and have kids, assuming you're not a celebrity or very rich. Are you talking about the same thing? I'm not surprised that some men are able to pull younger girls for casual sex, and maybe they're curious about experiencing their first older man. But, I doubt that these flings often turn into healthy marriages with kids. Maybe I'm wrong, which is why I made this post to see if anyone here was successful in marrying a girl 10-15 years younger.

I'm 27.

Believe it or not, you NEED game/frame in an LTR or Marriage. The game that got her is the game/frame that keeps her.

Women LOVE being with older men, and men love being with younger women, that's a bonafide fact. It doesn't surprise me at all, when I was in high school, girls were dating guys in college, when I was in college girls were dating guys who were starting their careers, after I graduated college, girls were dating/banging/married/had children with older men cemented in their careers.

The amount of years between them DOES vary, whether it's a few years or a decade.

I have an LTR - about 1.75 years together, I also have sex with multiple girls on the side.

Frame/Game is essential to keeping things good with your LTR, plates you're spinning, or dates your going on to get a bang.

You're a few years younger than me, I'm not even thinking about marriage yet.

It's not a bad thing that you're ready to start early to know what you want out of a wife.

Quote:My goals are to have a family one day. I realize it's a long battle. It's not like I'm gonna wake up one day when I'm 35 and say hey it's time to go get that wife. I want to start the process early, as I think it would only get exponentially harder later on. It does sound nice to be able to wait until I'm 30-35 and bang sluts until then, and then find someone 10-15 years younger, but I worry that when I'm 35, it'll be harder to find those young, healthy, fertile, undrugged, good women to have children with. Which is the original question of the post. That's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking long game. Long-term gratification, vs short-term. I am sort of scared of getting old in my 40s and 50s and finding my wife turning into not very attractive, but based on some of the posts I've been reading on RVF, I hope by then maybe I'll be able to have mistresses on the side, for example, if she'd ever travel to Hungary to visit the family, etc. I hope she would never find out, or maybe I could have a conversation with her about my sexual needs and hope she'd understand.

I don't think it'll be hard especially now that you have this forum. I think you'll have a better understanding of what you want by the time you're 35. You should not be scared nor have a self defeating attitude.

You shouldn't fear living alone you also should not be thinking you NEED a woman to fulfill your life, she should be a woman that complements your life.

Quote:I categorize girls generally into casual sex or marriage material. For most girls in the states, I discover many serious red flags almost immediately which places them into the first bucket. I was born in Russia, raised by two Russians who themselves are very traditional, and have dual citizenship in the states, moved here when I was a little kid, so am not per-se your typical American dude, but still well assimilated into the culture. With this foreign one, I've spent about 15 days with her physically, 5 days in Budapest, 10 days here, and we've been skyping ~once a week for the past 3 months, and so far not too many red flags, with the only serious red flag being the parents' divorce. So far, she is not in the first bucket, compared to some other girls I've met here who fall into the slut bucket almost within an hour of meeting them. Only possible dealbreaker that I may be facing is that she's still extremely shy, and doesn't open up much, which sometimes comes off very boring, and insecure. Part of it is probably exacerbated by her English being a second language, and not familiar with America. I told her I'm thinking of visiting her in Budapest this winter, and this time I'll possibly stay for a whole month. By then, I told her I hope that she opens up more. If she doesn't and remains super shy, I'll have to end it.

That's awesome you've assimilated, yet still retain what I assume are good conservative Russian values.

I also would tread carefully, you're investing alot in a woman you think has potential, but you're still young. She being shy is not a bad thing, but throwing her an ultimatum isn't going to help your situation. There are ways of getting her to open up.

Are you talking to any other women that have the potential to be an LTR or marriage material ?

Quote:Even though her two parents are divorced, I wouldn't say she has a super dysfunctional family. Her parents were married 15 years before they divorced. She still maintains a good relationship with her father, and her relationship with her mother has been getting better, although she resents her mother for having lovers on the side in Hungary while the father worked in Germany. Furthermore, she has an older brother that looks after her very well and always on my ass to make sure I'm not trying to lead her on. We're good friends. I actually met her brother 4 years ago when I visited Hungary, and this time when I came to visit him, he introduced me to his sister. Also, she lives with her grandmother so they're all pretty much well connected.

She's close to her father, that's great, she sees the shame in her mother cheating and learned valuable lesson when young. The brother is a great thing to have in her book.

Quote:I'm not in an "exclusive" relationship with her at the moment, mainly because I refuse to do long distance (I haven't told her that part, but it's pretty much implied), so I don't believe that I'm putting her on the pedestal. Keep in mind, we've already had sex plenty of times, and she's generally pretty submissive, wants me to be in charge, no problem there; actually, it's sort of becoming some what a turn off since I almost have to do everything for her, both outside the bedroom and in it. But, we're still in the 'getting to know each other' phase, so I hope this improves. She is very serious about trying to find a way to come to America so she could be closer to me, as I told her that my future is here in America. I'm sure the possibility of raising a family in America to her is very attractive, although she's good about not getting too excited about that, says she doesn't care if I'm in America or in Siberia, she wants to come see me wherever I am, but I still must be careful about that. Still, so far I think she really is attracted to me, but I remain cautious. A bit random, but she claims to have orgasmed when I was touching her at a concert with her clothes on, says it's how I make her feel, and that it's me. Of course, I take that with a grain of salt, it could be just what I want to hear. Just re-assuring to me that she does find me attractive, and isn't trying to make some odd elaborate plot to get a free ride into America. But honestly I don't pretend to understand female biology, but so far I believe the signs that she's into me, and of course the prospect of coming to America may play into that, too.

You answered my question, you aren't exclusive with her. Alright that's what I was getting at, that you banged she's listening to you. All good signs. I'd be more careful of the American lifestyle infecting her views and her relationship with you.

Quote:I never asked her, but she told me on her own that she has not slept with anyone while I was in the US and she in Budapest for the past 3 months. Frankly, I believe her, but it doesn't matter if she did or not. I tell her that's not any of my business, and she's not obligated to tell me because we're not in the "exclusive" phase. I think she implied she wants things to be "exclusive" but I kinda brushed her off. I've been banging a girl or two here in the states, casual sex, and plan on continuing to do so; I haven't told her this per-se, but I think she knows it. I think she's smart enough not to confront me on this matter, because I won't do long distance. I tell her the truth (and it really is the truth) is that I'm only pursuing her at the moment, and not pursuing anyone else (banging some girls here for fun is not pursuing them). I think I was drunk and implied to her that I do hook up with some girls here and there, but nothing serious (I don't think she liked it, but probably understands, i.e., long distance, etc). Which is a stronger incentive for her to try to come here. I tell her that if she was here with me or I in Budapest, then it'd just be me and her. In a way, I kinda like this long-distance buffer as it gives me an excuse to keep things not exclusive.

I think she should know you don't sleep with a girl that sleeps with other men, and make it clear.

YES it IS your business if she's banging someone and doesn't tell you. She could put your health in danger because of it.

Overall it sounds like you have a solid thing going for you, I would cautiously pursue things with her and see where they go.

But there is a saying, don't put all your eggs in one basket. Good luck.[/quote]

Post: #12

I'd ask the 21 year old in bed next to me right now, but she's sleeping.

Post: #13

I have many friends whose parents have an age gap from 8 - 20 years between them. My own main girl is 10 years younger than me so you shouldn't fear it being POSSIBLE to get a girl who is a lot younger than you.

What you SHOULD fear is not being a guy that these girls want to date. What I mean by that is you need to make something of yourself. If you're fat, broke with a crap job and still living at home with your parents at 35+ then you're probably going to struggle to wife up a decent girl who is 10+ years younger than you.
If however you've kept yourself in shape, have a decent job/career and have basically become a real man, then you'll be able to find yourself a nice young girl who'll be happy to be your wife and have your kids.

Post: #14

At 40, I'm finding more intrigue and IOI's from 20 somethings then ever. Stay in great shape, lift weights, utilize Game, and dress well and you should have no problem. They see you as an experienced enigma if you play your cards right. Granted, some girls that age range just aren't into older guys, but a lot are.