Post: #1

Making friends gets more difficult the older I get. Easy as a kid, a bit less easy in college, tougher as the years go by.

Seems most people I meet are only out for what they can get (networking, connections at work, advice, help moving, play tennis is they can learn from me, but not if they are at the same or better level and I can learn from them.)

I am considering relocation, which means needing to make new friends.

Any tips from thosewho've relocated?

Post: #2

Lots of threads on this, but the cold hard truth is as you get older making "friends" will get harder and harder.

Finding women is easy and in fact I find they play the social confidant role way more and connect me to other guys that happen to be cool.

However, if you're solo I would recommend you join a club (car, hunting , tennis, etc), join a gym, and just become a regular. Be friendly.

That's all I have for you. Good luck.

Post: #3

You've said it yourself, making friends does get more difficult as time goes on. Especially someone sharing your mindset and life goals, and with whom you're compatible character-wise. With that in mind, a realistic possibility is that you'll never establish another friendship on the same level as those from school/college days. Therefore I think it's important to keep old friends around, regardless of what one might think of them now.

I've never relocated, but from my experience, a good way to meet new people is to take a course. Languages, martial arts, dancing...anything goes, as long as it's not some new-age hipster nonsense. You'll meet a variety of people that have a similar background as you, so you can take things from there and see where it goes.

You probably won't become close friends with these new people you meet, but hey - you never know until you try. I still occasionally hang out with some people I've met while taking various classes, and I'm satisfied with this. We're not close friends, but they make excellent company for sharing a drink and having a fun time together.

Post: #4

Have you tried http://www.meetup.com groups? That's usually where people go who want to make friends.

Should be tons of NCAA and NFL parties going on right now. Also, I hear getting drunk and playing kickball can be a fun way to meet people also.

Post: #5

(10-03-2015 08:04 PM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  Feminist trolling is frowned upon on this forum.

7-day suspension and on Possibly-a-Female Watch.

Making guy friends Protip: don't be a Feminist.

Post: #6

Meet up with RVF dudes. I've met a lot of awesome people via RVF. this is very overlooked. If you're in the tri-state area of america there are many cool dudes on RVF who would probably be willing to meet up with you. If you're in another country or in an obscure place, then you should try to get out of there. Honestly, living in a small town just fucks with your head too much.

My advice for making RVF friends:

1. contribute to the forum, that way dudes will be less wary of you PMing them about hanging out.

2. Check out the travel threads and see who is where.

3. PM dudes who's views you like and talk to them.

4. Be cool. Most times when I meet up with RVf dudes we just hang out. Don't feel like you can't meet up because your game isn't 100% on point or whatever.

This is just what has worked with me.

Also, don't look down on people who just want to see what they can get from you. Perhpas you can help eachother and establish a solid relationship?

For example, there is a dude in china I buy a lot of my fitness supplements from in SZ and he's actually cool, so we talk a fair bit beyond just business. I ask him about advice on how to do well the city and other things. I'd actually say we've gone from being Customer and client to being friends. We're actually planning a trip together in the coming months to hit up some cool areas in china.

I think the best advice is to just be friendly. I've had a lot of people hook me up in china just because I'm an easy person to sit and have a beer with.

Post: #7

Good idea, you need male buddies if you want to have a balanced life. When I moved back to my hometown all my buddies were either married or were too busy working to keep up with child support. Like you I needed to make friends so I took this course on attracting women that I found on meetup.com. The course started out by teaching men how to conquer their fears by approaching women. Slowly the course developed into inner game and how you could make yourself into the person that will be happy regardless of whether or not you have women in your life. We read lots of books in this course from psychology, inner game, investing, parenting etc.

I met a lot of really cool cats in that class and when it was over me, some coaches and a few other students went to Miami to have fun. Even though I know some of these guys only 5 years I consider most of these guys my best friends. Most of the guys were professionals, lawyers, doctors, accountants and dentists who had swallowed the blue pill as an adolescent. It was great to hear other men share their life experiences and become red pill awakened.

Anyway, I would suggest you find such a program in your new community. The course I took is no longer listed on meetup.com, such courses were removed after the feminists took over that site.

I would also attend the meetups that other members on this site post. That's a great way to meet single buddies who like to have fun. Lastly I am an avid snowboarder, I made a lot of really good friends that way too. It's easy to meet cool cats, you just got to have a positive mindset and get out of your comfort zone.

Post: #8

As we get older we make less freinds and even lose contact with the majority of ones of yesteryears.
Although you may have fewer freinds now the ones you keep around from long ago will be the ones whom you are closest. ( school, trenches ect)

You mentioned you felt like people were only in it for themselves nowadays and only wanted you to help them move what not. But men bond through common activity. Dont forget, if you help your bud move, you not only participate in activity together but also you got a+1 in his book. Guess who's turn it is to be DD come the weekend? See what I mean it ain't so bad.

On a side note. You also mentioned networking. Would you agree that surrounding yourself with productive, intelligent, and successful people might be advantageous? After all, these are the people who have more resources for fun and activities like chillin at a beach house or going on vaca to a dope destination with you.

Lastly I can't see why single people under 40 don't live in any major city. Move to a city and I guarantee this post will be a distant memory.

Post: #9

I find it important to keep up with old friends. Most of the friends I have now I'm still in touch with from my Navy days back in the 90's. Of course, some of it depends on your location and what you do. When I got out of the Navy in '98, I moved to New Jersey to take a job. In the years I've lived in New Jersey, I found it is the hardest place I've ever lived in which to make friends. I'd occasionally meet up with people for a few months, but they all drifted away. Jersey is the kind of place where the attitude is "if you didn't go to high school with us, then fuck you".

I since moved to Northern Virginia, where most of the people are military transplants like me, so it's much easier to make friends in this area since most people have similar mindsets.

And like others say, try to keep in touch with RVF members. I know they have meetups in DC, but I live in Fredericksburg, more than 50 miles from DC, so meeting there is inconvenient. If any RVF members like somewhere between Woodbridge and F-burg, I'd be willing to meet for a few beers.

Post: #10

^ I feel your pain. I was living in NJ until this past june.

Post: #11

If you like beer, sports and women, it is easy to find like minded men anywhere in the world.

Post: #12

Firstly, the point of friendship is advancement in someway possible. Much like game, the more value you exert the more people will want to be in your orbit . Don't think just because admire or wish to take advantage of you for certain skills or attributes means that they are using you, you're likeable because of your assets

Secondly, join groups, websites etc where people's beliefs and goals line up with your own. Made some really good friends from rooshv because, like me, they're all about making money, travelling and slaying Asian pussy.

Post: #13

I wish I could meet some guys that would make decent wingmen. I am a lot better if I have someone to bounce off when gaming women, and rejection is a lot easier to handle if you have someone to joke around with and pep yourself back up again for the next approach.

Unfortunately my closest circle are losers in that department...

Post: #14

My 2 cents:

I've met many guys from meetup.com and even Internations.org.

Most of them are older than me (I am mid-twenties). Some of them are quite established in their careers while others are just passing time. A few have had their share of experience with the ladies, and even one was game-aware (probably my best friend from that circle).

What I have found to be disturbingly common, is that many males (or most) partake into paying for sex... something 180° away of my goal of bedding beautiful women that are into me. When a guy mentions anything resembling "special" massage services and such, I can't help but lose respect for him.

Yes, it's hard to find men that are worthy of a friendship.

Post: #15

I started to go out solo. Once you get to a high level of game wingmen often become a hinderance.

Post: #16

That said I find most friendships I make are exactly like that. Or usually more mutually beneficial. I tend to drop the ones with no value to add pretty quick.

Granted to say I have had amazing friendships when we each have something I want. For example one has a successful business and shows me how he runs it, while I show him game and give him a few pointers. I find those work out the best.

Post: #17

(10-07-2015 06:43 PM)emuelle1 Wrote:  I find it important to keep up with old friends. Most of the friends I have now I'm still in touch with from my Navy days back in the 90's. Of course, some of it depends on your location and what you do. When I got out of the Navy in '98, I moved to New Jersey to take a job. In the years I've lived in New Jersey, I found it is the hardest place I've ever lived in which to make friends. I'd occasionally meet up with people for a few months, but they all drifted away. Jersey is the kind of place where the attitude is "if you didn't go to high school with us, then fuck you".

I since moved to Northern Virginia, where most of the people are military transplants like me, so it's much easier to make friends in this area since most people have similar mindsets.

I've spent almost my entire live in New Jersey and the D.C. area and can't agree with this. For whatever reason, your posts just rub me the wrong way. It may be better if I just put you on ignore. Here's the deal. In New Jersey, especially the coast, we have people who come from all over the world. In my hometown alone, I've probably met people from most of the fifty states and over fifty foreign countries. Many many people come to our beaches and bars and act like completely idiots and piss us off. We may, therefore, come off as cold and unfriendly at first. If you are polite, respectful, and well behaved, people will treat you well and you should have no trouble making friends. I know a guy who came there as a complete outsider and who pretty much everyone would call a "redneck" (I don't use that word). The guy has a million friends and everyone loves him. My mom showed up at in her twenties from a completely different place and stayed there. She has tons of friends and considers New Jersey her home. The D.C. area is a completely different deal and I'm only here to work, sleep, and go to the gym. There is absolutely nothing else for me here and that is a problem that the three nearby airports solve.

Post: #18

Im 26, I find that just being friendly is enough, also make sure that you realize; not everyone is gonna like you, we all understand this but remember sometimes you are gonna be alone and you have to be comfortable with that, you arent gonna have friends around all the time.

I have no problems making "friends" my issue is figuring out if they can be trusted, the ones that are truly genuine, those are the diamonds in the dirt and you should make an effort to keep, most people come and go.

Post: #19

(10-08-2015 06:44 PM)TheDuncan Wrote:  Im 26, I find that just being friendly is enough, also make sure that you realize; not everyone is gonna like you, we all understand this but remember sometimes you are gonna be alone and you have to be comfortable with that, you arent gonna have friends around all the time.

I have no problems making "friends" my issue is figuring out if they can be trusted, the ones that are truly genuine, those are the diamonds in the dirt and you should make an effort to keep, most people come and go.

I agree with this and in my experience, your guard has to be even higher in Miami, Las Vegas, Southern California, and Latin America.

Post: #20

Offer value, give value to receive value. If you have common interests it makes making friends easier. Have found it is much easier to make friends with new people then to try to make friends with people you have known for a while and you try to change the dynamics of the relationship.

Post: #21

Interesting I have heard complaints about the people in Cali, complaints of many superficial and untrustworthy people.

I still want to go to Cali as I am from NY, I am sure I will end up there too at some point but its good to have a heads up.

I also hear people are genuinely laid back as opposed to the more uptight NYC'rs.

Post: #22

I also want to add, follow your heart, your gut, your intuition, whatever you want to call it, if you just have a feeling on someone, its for a reason.

So far what my heart tells me has been true, its just listening to it...

Trust yourself.

Post: #23

(10-08-2015 07:00 PM)TheDuncan Wrote:  I also want to add, follow your heart, your gut, your intuition, whatever you want to call it, if you just have a feeling on someone, its for a reason.

So far what my heart tells me has been true, its just listening to it...

Trust yourself.

I'm getting almost too good at that. A few months ago, some guy, who may or may not have been a former pro athlete, started talking to me. Immediately, I thought to myself, "This guy's shady as hell" and I also got a sense that he had some kind of autism or Asperger's or something. I quickly googled his name and not surprisingly, stories about his poor conduct/character were all over the internet.

"I'm gonna be honest with you." Maybe I should put together a data sheet on how to better sniff out the people you need to avoid. "I'm as real as they come." "Money is no object"

Post: #24

I would second the advice of some people here that places like the gym, any sports/interest clubs and courses are a good way to make new friends for most people. If you're into nightlife a lot, I would think that this is fruitful too - think sport broadcasts or concerts in bars, for example.

Personally I always found it very hard to make new friends: Back in the days because I was hardly ever going out anywhere, and nowadays because there's so few people in their 20's living in this town. I did meet a few people here but none of them has "shown the potential" (not being arrogant here) to become a true friend.

Two years ago I met a guy from Scandinavia. While his interests and attitude towards life differ greatly from mine, it just worked from day one: We could talk about all kinds of things, laugh together over the most stupid shit and help each other with whatever issues may came up. Now he's back in this home country, I have seen him once since then and without being homo, I miss him. Simply because he is a real friend! It's part of your personality of course, I know people who can just befriend everyone. I could never do that. And sometimes I wonder whether that's a good or bad thing.

Post: #25

"Activity" would be the key word. I met all my friends from either practicing pick up or wanting to pursue an interest seriously. As long as you are involved in an activity people will come to your life.