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Properly dealing with hamstering the day after
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x4v1er Offline
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Post: #1
Properly dealing with hamstering the day after
Thanks to Roosh and everyone here I've turned my life around and right now have several chicks I meet with every other week or so and hang for a bit then bang and head out. Now that I'm getting some experiences under my belt I'm noticing the seemingly dangerous hamstering after the first 3 or 4 bangs, specifically the questions about whether I'm seeing any other chicks. So far I've been truthful and say yeah I talk to a few and am always clear that I'm not planning on dating anytime soon. I don't give any more details than that but it's been pretty difficult to get around it.

When I get stuff like that and then the follow-ups asking what that means and what are we doing blah blah blah, what's the best way to handle it? Like I said I haven't been lying, just trying to phrase things properly so I don't screw myself. They always say well you're the only guy I'm talking to or hanging out with (banging) and for most of them I am fairly certain that's actually the truth, which seems even more dangerous attachment-wise. These are all cool chicks who I enjoy spending some time with but I'm drawing a blank when I run up against this part.
11-01-2015 02:32 PM
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Remington Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Properly dealing with hamstering the day after
If a girl is trying to make you exclusive but you aren't having it, just say that you want to take things slow and see how it goes. You can also say that it takes you a while to trust someone and that you want to get to know her better before committing to anything.

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11-01-2015 05:32 PM
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HankMoody Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Properly dealing with hamstering the day after
Depends on what you're trying to accomplish.

If you like a girl, there's nothing wrong shoring up an LTR. Maintaining a soft harem is a pain in the ass. Gaming women takes time, commitment, money, and it's a distraction from more important stuff. Sometimes it's actually easier to have a decent girl in your life.

I think at some point you have to figure out whether or not you give a fuck. Whether you want to try and find a nice girl, settle down, and start a family. Or whether you want to live your life being a playboy.

There's no wrong choice. It's whatever suits your goals. A friend of mine is 53 and just got married after an entire life of making money and banging hot chicks. I know other guys in their 30s who are happy with their wife and kids.

If you're not that into any of these girls then it doesn't really matter what you say. You're not going to commit, so it doesn't matter if they go out and find someone who will. But if you actually like one of them and want to explore having a legitimate relationship, you can't play the "we're just seeing each other" card forever.
(This post was last modified: 11-01-2015 08:50 PM by HankMoody.)
11-01-2015 08:49 PM
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Noir Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Properly dealing with hamstering the day after
I am not looking but I am open to auditions
11-03-2015 02:31 PM
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TheMaleBrain Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Properly dealing with hamstering the day after
Running 2-3 LTRs, and still hitting on girls when it is possible, here is my advice:
1. You don't raise the subject EVER (as you said).
2. When it comes up, be bold about it.
3. Say: "I enjoy being with you, and want to be with you" (you have to mean it).
4. If a girl pressures you, tell her you are not ready yet. Hint that you might be someday, but currently it is your option.
5. Tell her you will be sorry if she leaves, but it is HER CHOICE.
6. Sit back and watch how the Forebrain and the Hindbrain wrestle.

Be prepared for some to leave.
Make sure you groom the ones who stay.
Do not be afraid of them becoming attached to you. You were honest and open, they CHOSE it.

Good luck

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12-16-2015 05:30 AM
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WestIndianArchie Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Properly dealing with hamstering the day after
(11-01-2015 02:32 PM)x4v1er Wrote:  Now that I'm getting some experiences under my belt I'm noticing the seemingly dangerous hamstering after the first 3 or 4 bangs, specifically the questions about whether I'm seeing any other chicks.

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12-16-2015 10:07 AM
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heavy Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Properly dealing with hamstering the day after
^^ WIA I've seen it before...even before a bang.

He may give off a different vibe than you. Or maybe it's the part of the country, no idea. But I get it. Actually, when I've gotten it, it seems to be from pre-wall chics.

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
(This post was last modified: 12-16-2015 11:19 AM by heavy.)
12-16-2015 11:18 AM
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heavy Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Properly dealing with hamstering the day after
Honesty with heavy doses of ambiguity and brevity is key here. Basically, don't flat out lie. Or if you must, and you think she's lying to you, do lie (last resort).

"well you're the only guy I'm talking to or hanging out with" is bull-shit. She's hanging out with other guys. Maybe not earlier today, or yesterday, or the day before, but she has guys. I guarantee she's hung out with at least one person with a penis within the last 2 days, which means she's hung out with other guys. This doesn't make her a slut, it makes her a chic. Chics get hit on. Chics keep options open.

Did she say she hasn't had sex with another guy since October 2nd? Now that'd be her telling you something.

So use her rules. Unless she puts a time-frame with a direct question, you shouldn't really have to lie. See, she hasn't really lied to you in her eyes. But you're already *feeling* like you've lied to her, like you've mis-represented.

Do you see the big difference here. Learn to play her game.

The most direct question you'd ever get, and this would be rare, would be "when was the last time you had sex with another girl?". I've had this question, not long ago, to which I responded "within the last few months" even tho it was 3 days prior.

Honesty.

Your response...
"I don't know" incredulously (inflection on "I" and "know"). (thinking, thinking, let it hang)..."...maybe within the last few months?" (bewildered, inflection high on "months")

Let her respond, but the rest should be you confused why she's questioning you and you putting it on her that you like hanging out with her.

Or agree and amplify, but I've found when a chic is asking that, she'll want a less sarcastic answer.

Note: Don't give me too much credit. Even when I pulled that clever response "I don't know...I guess within the last few months" out of my ass, I was still fooled by her manipulation. Never underestimate a woman's ability to deceive and manipulate (and I don't necessarily mean it's a bad thing, for them it's survival and not getting STDs).

Even with my clever response, I didn't realize...why am I answering this. It's reasonable for me to wonder the same thing about her. In that moment, I was on the defense stand. I noted this for future reference.

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
(This post was last modified: 12-16-2015 11:46 AM by heavy.)
12-16-2015 11:41 AM
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WestIndianArchie Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Properly dealing with hamstering the day after
@Heavy

Naw, you bang any chick 3 or 4 times, you don't expect them pair bonding chemicals to kick in?

You don't expect her to want to lock good sex down?

As unexplanatory as modern game is, the basic idea that woman is attracted to alpha* she's supposed to play her genetic role.

Either homey is getting bad information or he's not thinking.

I've never not banged a chick multiple times and she didn't want to sit in the passenger seat.

Where they do that at?

WIA

* in reality it is the reverse, whoever she is attracted to becomes alpha)

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12-16-2015 01:45 PM
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