Post: #1

Hi

Here is something that happened today with a new girl. Would love insights from the community.

Background
The girl is in her 30's, tall and good looking, divorced yet has that "good girl" character.
I'm 40+, good shape, very tall, also divorced.
We went out twice. Kiss close and mild makeout.
this was suppose to be our third date. Second date she came to a place near my house. Saw it as a sign she is into me (she lives 25 miles away).

I told her we will go to a lecture (she was intrigued) and then to my place to cook. My plan was to get her to bang in my place after ordering her around in the kitchen.
She wanted to come with her car, so to block it I said I would pick her up.

Near arrival she texted saying her neighbor came in and that I should come up.
Her neighbor is somehow connected to her social circle (they did not meet before) and is also a divorced women but older.
She (the neighbor) is that women who is "Making up for missing out"
She would not leave, and my date was way into her ramble.
Imagine 2 girls meeting and finding out that they have some people in common.

Damn that neighbor is a slut, followed a lot of the signs (tattoos from the last years, brought pot from her house, talked a lot about sex and so).

I sometimes participated in the conversation but the neighbor is an attention whore and my date was "fascinated".I figured I show some interest, and listened on the girls talk. After 2 hours went online and started trying to make other plans.
After a few hours our time was up, and I went home.

My thoughts were:
1. Leaving in the middle will not get me further. Case of irremovable cockblock.
2. Tried gaming a little to keep my value. Went so-so.
3. If the slut could influence my date to be less prude, I might be able to bang on a followup date.
4. Told the slut that we should double (she is seeing someone).

Not sure apart from the alternative of leaving the location that I could have done something better.

Need your feedback, thanks.

Post: #2

Not sure why picking her up is a big deal. In fact I think it is bad to have an inner game that says well she can bring her car that mean she has an easier excuse to leave. Also it shows more investment and effort for the woman to have to drive herself over.

If I had to pick a woman up and this happened maybe after 5 minutes of friendly banter I would have cut in and said: "hey this is a interesting conversation, we need get started cooking though I am starving, let's all get together soon". If that doesn't work I would honestly bail.

What you did is similar to Bernie Sanders letting the fat black loud mouth chicks steal the mic at your press conference.

It is simple just know if it is date time that is your scheduled time, it is your press conference. If the train won't run down the tracks jump off the train immediately.

Post: #3

(12-19-2015 02:12 PM)Travesty Wrote:  Not sure why picking her up is a big deal. In fact I think it is bad to have an inner game that says well she can bring her car that mean she has an easier excuse to leave. Also it shows more investment and effort for the woman to have to drive herself over.

If I had to pick a woman up and this happened maybe after 5 minutes of friendly banter I would have cut in and said: "hey this is a interesting conversation, we need get started cooking though I am starving, let's all get together soon". If that doesn't work I would honestly bail.

What you did is similar to Bernie Sanders letting the fat black loud mouth chicks steal the mic at your press conference.

It is simple just know if it is date time that is your scheduled time, it is your press conference. If the train won't run down the tracks jump off the train immediately.

Point taken.
The lecture was not near my house, so I wanted to control "coming and going".
You maybe right to point out it could be investment on my part.

What about what happened?

Post: #4

Ok I understand the logistics now, yeah picking her up was good then.

I forgot about the lecture. I mean if you were going there it is so easy to cut off the neighbor and say "look we need to go we're late, let's talk again soon". Again you need to value your time.

And for guys that need that sort of help it is best to think your time is more important than hers and her friends' time. Feel above them as bad as that sounds. It is no different than the advice that guys new to banging chicks should see them all as disposable sluts until they bang them a handful of times and know them better. In fact my game is better whenever I follow that advice even nowadays.

As for what happened you definitely lost ground in her eyes. The man when he gives his time should be way above a neighborhood friend or any friend for that matter.

You went from being the sex interest to her lesser orbiter friend in that scenario.

Next time to avoid any strange repeat, I would have her come straight to your house.

Post: #5

I've been in situations like this with roommates and whatnot - lead the interaction as if you've known her forever. You don't want to be standing around as a passive participant or observer.

I would give it 5 minutes, tops... at that point I'd give my keys a little jingle, look at my date and ask, "Shall we head out?" or "Ready?" - then look back at the neighbor and say something like, "nice meeting you." That's it. No special game moves, no tricks. Just act.

Easy to do that without any awkwardness or unpleasantness. It's not rude - remember your time is valuable and she is on a date with you - not the neighbor. You just have to control the situation. By date three she should be following your lead anyway.

Post: #6

(12-19-2015 02:12 PM)Travesty Wrote:  If I had to pick a woman up and this happened maybe after 5 minutes of friendly banter I would have cut in and said: "hey this is a interesting conversation, we need get started cooking though I am starving, let's all get together soon". If that doesn't work I would honestly bail.

This. You had plans for a date, so insist that we "get moving so as not to be late".

If she flakes to chat to her friend, then look unimpressed, leave and next her.

I wouldn't be hanging around getting cock blocked....

Post: #7

In your shoes, I'd have openly flirted with the neighbour.
Then your date would have hurried you to go to the lecture with her.

Post: #8

(12-19-2015 03:29 PM)Latan Wrote:  In your shoes, I'd have openly flirted with the neighbour.
Then your date would have hurried you to go to the lecture with her.

Why not break out the booze and get them drunk? No offense but I would rather listen to the escapades of some slut than a boring lecture. You simply lost. Loosen up and adapt to the situation. With enough booze you could possibly have turned this into a threesome!

Post: #9

(12-19-2015 04:26 PM)Dino Wrote:  

(12-19-2015 03:29 PM)Latan Wrote:  In your shoes, I'd have openly flirted with the neighbour.
Then your date would have hurried you to go to the lecture with her.

Why not break out the booze and get them drunk? No offense but I would rather listen to the escapades of some slut than a boring lecture. You simply lost. Loosen up and adapt to the situation. With enough booze you could possibly have turned this into a threesome!

Yes, I agree here 100%. Is good to be a man and keep the frame even if it costs the bang because some woman need to be taught, but in some situations, and in this case with some older slut involved, a threesome was on the table. Always keep frame after the bang, be smooth before it. Here is the best advice:

Post: #10

Quote:Yes, I agree here 100%. Is good to be a man and keep the frame even if it costs the bang because some woman need to be taught, but in some situations, and in this case with some older slut involved, a threesome was on the table. Always keep frame after the bang, be smooth before it. Here is the best advice:

You guys and the random threesome neighbor fantasies...

Post: #11

(12-19-2015 03:29 PM)Latan Wrote:  In your shoes, I'd have openly flirted with the neighbour.
Then your date would have hurried you to go to the lecture with her.

This! A very similar situation happened to me a few weeks ago. 2nd date a girl (mid 30's) invites me over to her house. I get there and her girl friend happened to show up. The girls are gossiping and chatting like they hadn't seen each other in awhile. I'm quickly getting bored so I start throwing on the charm and flirting with the friend. Running standard game on there. My girl obviously is getting a little jealous and then shuts down conversation with the friend and basically shows her the door.

Late that night she told me "you like my friend, don't you"

Let the hamster run

Post: #12

You drove 25 miles?
To spend time with her?
And made specific plans?
She knew that?
And she let you sit their listening to their cackling nonsense?

She just failed a version of the "door test" in my book





I might hang in there long enough to grudge fuck her on principle but if a thirty-something y/o divorcee isn't more aware than that then you did just see "the tip of the iceberg"

Post: #13

(12-19-2015 07:40 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  You drove 25 miles?
To spend time with her?
And made specific plans?
She knew that?
And she let you sit their listening to their cackling nonsense?

She just failed a version of the "door test" in my book





I might hang in there long enough to grudge fuck her on principle but if a thirty-something y/o divorcee isn't more aware than that then you did just see "the tip of the iceberg"

I don't know about the door test exactly but seriously: some bitch on date 3 basically ignored you for 2 hours when you had specific plans to talk to some random neighbor instead?

Fuck her.

You can do what others say and after a few minutes, guide her out of the social interaction ("Hey, we need to get going... XYZ starts soon" or whatever) and that works just fine for the moment.

But I recall one time something similar that happen to me. Girl I was seeing ran into a friend while we were out and about. I could have ended the conversation any time but I wanted to see if she had the social sense to wrap up the conversation on a reasonable time table. She had shown signs in the past of really lacking social sense in dealing with other people when involving my time. So, I allowed things to play out to see what would happen.

30-40 minutes I stood there, basically completely ignored with no regard for my time. After the conversation was over, the girl expressed how relieved she was to finally stop talking to her friend and was apologetic but I wasn't having it. Someone who is that socially retarded is going to be more trouble than they are worth in the long run.

Whether its intentional or not, a woman who doesn't treat your free time as something valuable is not someone you should be spending any time associating with excluding a low-effort bang.

In your particular case if I was you after that bullshit: I would invite her straight over for a meal you want to eat/movie you want to watch (fuck any kind of activity that involves going out), have a drink or two and bang her out. Anything exceeding typical LMR and she can get the fuck out.

Post: #14

I didn't catch it but did you miss the confrence completely?

Post: #15

(12-19-2015 10:29 PM)cascadecombo Wrote:  I didn't catch it but did you miss the confrence completely?

Yes.
It was a free lecture on a semi-interesting topic.
Idea was to get her afterwards to my house.

Post: #16

(12-19-2015 10:00 PM)The Black Knight Wrote:  

(12-19-2015 07:40 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  You drove 25 miles?
To spend time with her?
And made specific plans?
She knew that?
And she let you sit their listening to their cackling nonsense?

She just failed a version of the "door test" in my book





I might hang in there long enough to grudge fuck her on principle but if a thirty-something y/o divorcee isn't more aware than that then you did just see "the tip of the iceberg"

I don't know about the door test exactly but seriously: some bitch on date 3 basically ignored you for 2 hours when you had specific plans to talk to some random neighbor instead?

Fuck her.

You can do what others say and after a few minutes, guide her out of the social interaction ("Hey, we need to get going... XYZ starts soon" or whatever) and that works just fine for the moment.

But I recall one time something similar that happen to me. Girl I was seeing ran into a friend while we were out and about. I could have ended the conversation any time but I wanted to see if she had the social sense to wrap up the conversation on a reasonable time table. She had shown signs in the past of really lacking social sense in dealing with other people when involving my time. So, I allowed things to play out to see what would happen.

30-40 minutes I stood there, basically completely ignored with no regard for my time. After the conversation was over, the girl expressed how relieved she was to finally stop talking to her friend and was apologetic but I wasn't having it. Someone who is that socially retarded is going to be more trouble than they are worth in the long run.

Whether its intentional or not, a woman who doesn't treat your free time as something valuable is not someone you should be spending any time associating with excluding a low-effort bang.

In your particular case if I was you after that bullshit: I would invite her straight over for a meal you want to eat/movie you want to watch (fuck any kind of activity that involves going out), have a drink or two and bang her out. Anything exceeding typical LMR and she can get the fuck out.

Point taken.
Logistics was in the way.

Post: #17

Guys

Appreciate the common theme - Time wasted.
I was probably too invested. Thought she would be an interesting addition to my harem.

Would not invest later on.

Post: #18

I think you need to get revenge, honestly...

Post: #19

No need to take things so serious, Gmac had the right idea. I couldn't tell you how many times i've went out with chicks and they started chatting up a storm with someone. After a few minutes, I calmly say with a huge smile on my face "Okay you girls are going to talk all night" Lightly touch both of them and back to the program. You over thought it, reframe and go back in.

-CD

Post: #20

I agree with most of the guys here, its not necessarily that she did a horrible thing, its that you didn't steer the interaction. She wanted to chat with a friend, you wanted to go to a prearranged lecture. So you guys stayed and chatted with a friend. You gave into her frame with no attempt to change it. Things get interesting when you say time to go, and she says no, shes enjoying the chat. You can attempt more persuasion, or just say good bye. Its often good to even plan on the worst-case scenario like her flaking before making dates, that way you don't over invest(like driving too far) or feel so angry that she broke your plans. Women can smell that indifference and they like it.

Post: #21

Two hours...


It's your job to say 'let's go...nice meeting you' after a few minutes. It's your job to stand up for yourself and your (and her) time. She'd have followed. If for some reason she didn't follow, you leave. If she's pissed at you, it was your job to find out she didn't really have much interest in you.

It's your job to push the interaction to find out where on her gradient you stand. Honestly, two hours makes me cringe a bit given the situation you were in. Really anything...anything at all...would have been better than what you described.

Lesson learned.

(12-19-2015 05:36 PM)Gmac Wrote:  

Quote:Yes, I agree here 100%. Is good to be a man and keep the frame even if it costs the bang because some woman need to be taught, but in some situations, and in this case with some older slut involved, a threesome was on the table. Always keep frame after the bang, be smooth before it. Here is the best advice:

You guys and the random threesome neighbor fantasies...

I chuckled at your comment but...

Chics deep down want guys who'll do whatever the fuck they want...he starts ramping up the sex talk Q and A, how to give good blow jobs, and next thing you know they're both spinning.

I've always wanted to be that guy from Linux's post.

Post: #22

Heavy said it more succinctly than i could.

But the whole endeavor was in jeopardy prior to the obstacle.

Didn't bang twice, and then insisted on picking her up, versus her investing and coming to you.


ALSO, the initial characterization of her as a good girl despite her being a divorcee AND most importantly falling for the bullshit that such a creature actually exists. The manosphere's inability to see people as individuals continues to fuck them over. Or in this case, not fuck them.

WIA

Post: #23

Should be in the Newbie Forum.

Post: #24

I'm late to the thread and everyone has already said exactly what I'm thinking. But I still need to ask the question. If you had specific plans to take this woman to a seminar which starts at a specific time and you drove to her place to pick her up why in the hell did you not use that real (not false) time constraint to wrap up the conversation and get on with your date??

If you're having problems asserting yourself in a situation as straightforward and simple as this one you really need to stop dating, gaming and otherwise interacting with women and get your issues of people pleasing and approval under control first. If you haven't read it already I would highly recommend "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert Glover.

Post: #25

This is why it is important to have, as they call it, several plates. A man's only weakness when it comes to women is that he doesn't want to fuck it up and be denied. It could go either way with girls you've not yet fucked when you turn on the asshole vibe.

Your best bet would have had a backup plan in the form of other women or going out with your friends to town. Granted the neighbour was an unforeseen event, it always pays to have other options.

How long would you have stayed if there was another woman or two willing to meet that night? It gives you a whole different angle of advantage.