Post: #1

I'm relatively new to this blog, but I have to say that this blog, along with Roissy, have been major influences on not only my game but my entire way of thinking concerning social pursuits. Thank you for that. I've noticed that I still have what seems to be a "sticking point" in my game; I seem to give into the temptation of calculating or racking my brain for topics of conversations and openers, I guess you can describe it as being too cerebral. As a result, this sometimes makes my game seem strained or contrived. I've heard it said that if you have to "rack your brain for entertaining banter," then you are doing it wrong. This is one of the reasons why the thought of having to keep going in conversation sometimes gives me the chills and acts as a demotivator in approaching. What would be a method or some ways to help counter this temptation, so perhaps my game could more often flow effortlessly and consistently? Is "canned material," using Mystery's term, effective at all? Thanks again.

Brandon

Post: #2

Post: #3

Find a style of humor that suits you. Dry, deadpan, droll, cheeky, try them all out for size. Conversation with girls is never about conveying information, but relating and vibing. Check my post in the other thread about scripted daygame.

Use conversational threads, not scripts.

I'm pretty cerebral myself, though I turn it off when I talk to girls.

Post: #4

I struggled early on with having game that required a good eye and mind for current events, science and a bit of wit. All in all, to keep up with me a girl had to have a fairly agile mind. When I was just trying to get laid this of course wasn't always in my best interest (because beauty obviously is no guarantee for smarts, shocking as it might seem). So I had to break apart my game, go a little more high-energy and mix in elements of popular culture in order for girls to connect with me. This had the effect however that I simply didn't have as much fun or could respect the one I interacted with as much. So these days I've gone full circle and just use my regular "cerebral" game as a qualifier. If a girl can't keep up with that it's likely that I won't enjoy her anyhow, and by "dumbing down" I was acting incongruously.

Post: #5

http://thepopularclub.com/ points out many, many times that no one remembers what you say afterwards. What people remember is the feeling generated by the cadence and the rhythm of the conversation created by the participants. You can say the stupidest shit possible but as long as you're matching her tone and speed of speaking, you're building rapport. Whereas long silences (longer than 30 seconds) while you rack your brain for clever things to say in the first 30 minutes breaks that shared cadence and reduces rapport.

Or you can always just talk about serial killers.

Post: #6

(07-07-2011 01:42 AM)basilransom Wrote:  Find a style of humor that suits you. Dry, deadpan, droll, cheeky, try them all out for size. Conversation with girls is never about conveying information, but relating and vibing. Check my post in the other thread about scripted daygame.

Use conversational threads, not scripts.

I'm pretty cerebral myself, though I turn it off when I talk to girls.

This. ^

It's important to let the conversation flow naturally. If you're typically an introverted, calculated thinker it is going to be tough to adapt to this style... but that's what you have to do in order to become successful at talking to women. Practice makes perfect.

Post: #7

(07-07-2011 02:14 AM)Blackhawk Wrote:  http://thepopularclub.com/ points out many, many times that no one remembers what you say afterwards. What people remember is the feeling generated by the cadence and the rhythm of the conversation created by the participants. You can say the stupidest shit possible but as long as you're matching her tone and speed of speaking, you're building rapport. Whereas long silences (longer than 30 seconds) while you rack your brain for clever things to say in the first 30 minutes breaks that shared cadence and reduces rapport.

Is that material worthwhile?

Post: #8

What has helped me enormously in my approaches is reevaluating how much importance the situation has for me. I've realized that most women don't want to fuck me, so getting worked up over any chick is really a waste of time. I realized that I just need to try and have fun with it.

Here's a little exercise I do: I imagine I'm on a secret camera show where I talk to women. My objective is to try to show my audience how ballsy I can be around them. I imagine all the guys I know watching my show, laughing and thinking "Man, I wish I could do that" or "Damn, I can't believe he said that."

This visualization gives me a great boost of confidence. It frames the approach as what it is: a game. It's just for fun. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Go up to a girl and say something ridiculous. It doesn't matter what you say, just how you say it. You'll be surprised at the responses you get sometimes. If you fail, just imagine everyone "at home" laughing at your failure; laugh with them, and move on to your next "victim".

Trying to think of something to say is a waste of time. It reinforces the thought that there is a "right" and "wrong" thing to say.

Approaching is "right", not approaching is "wrong".

Get that through your head and your approach problem will vanish.

Post: #9

Here's a similar thread I made that has some good advice in it:

/thread-4735.html

Overall, I would say just try to keep the conversation at a very basic and informal level. If you try to be too logical and or start to talk about things that require a high level of abstract thinking ("using too many big words") you're going to lose the girl.

As others have noted, just try to practice a lot and keep the conversations informal and fun. If you're a high IQ person you're probably going to have to make a conscious effort to keep the conversation at about the level of seapking to high school students. Nothing too elaborate or abstract, and if you come off as too serious it's not going to hit their attraction triggers at all.

Gmac Wrote:It's important to let the conversation flow naturally. If you're typically an introverted, calculated thinker it is going to be tough to adapt to this style... but that's what you have to do in order to become successful at talking to women. Practice makes perfect.

This is a very good piece of advice and I suggest just practicing talking to any random strangers without trying to be serious or use your intellect at all. It's easier to win an audience through simple humor or commentary on your surroundings that most people will react well to.