RE: Getting older: too tired to nightgame. Fix?
I am an older guy (closing in on the double nickel) and my key is simple, I am just living my life (JLML), doing my activities and being myself. I learned a long time ago that it is ok to be me and to keep it simple (stupid). It is not rocket science. My social environment is a natural extension of my physical activities. Day game is just an extension. I go to a bookstore because I have a thing for books, the feel and smell of parchment. To touch a monastic manuscript from 400 or 500 years ago is an experience for me. It is like a sphere with (of) influence. Human beings are social animals and as we are engaged in activities we are continually interacting with others human beings. This is not the case 100 percent of the time as some activities are more solitary by definition.
I find that my best night game happens when it was fed by my day game. My day game is activity based (surfing, swimming, two-man sand volleyball, sailing, and others) and I have no shortage of women in their 20´s (not 30´s or 40´s, but they exist as well)). My night game is generally on Saturday because of training, but sometimes on a Friday with no morning practice on Saturday. Night game is fun, but I keep it in perspective.
A few points from an older perspective would include:
1) You are given one body, so treat it like a thoroughbred race horse.
2) Do the activities that you enjoy doing. It is all about you; do not change your schedule (work, play, friends) for women. Have them adapt to you.
3) Live in the real world, not the virtual. Sure mix it up online and let that be a feeder, but remember that the best interactions that you want with a woman are in the real physical world.
As a sailor I can sail alone or with others, whether they are men, women or a mix of the two. These others can be on my boat or on another boat. In this type of interaction I am more of the deciding factor with whom and how many I interact. As a swimmer, I can choose to swim by myself, in a pool, or in the ocean. I can also choose to do it in a small group setting with close friends or in a larger group setting like a team. I like all of them, but my preference is with a team. The dynamic of training with a team is profound for me. Team training continually reinforces the positive social interactions, competitive spirit, and repeated hammering that takes place in the crucible of that 50 meter space that helps to make me a better man as I push myself, as I am being pushed by others, and as I am guided by those knowledgeable men who we call coaches or mentors. I say this with the same verve that I did 30 or 40 years ago.
On another level I am saying, that it is not simply that this is my activity, but this is my passion. I make the distinction because when you are involved at this level of internal investment, the effects are different on a personal and social level. I would put forth that when you are more passionate about your activity, and it does not matter if you are painting rocks; as the level of internal motivation is almost self-sustaining like a Carnot engine and the need for external reward is non-existent. I cannot believe that I got paid to fly. Every paycheck was a fortune; every meal a feast; every cruise and adventure; I should be a recruiter.
On a social level, which is more to the point of our discourse here, others sense that passion and are naturally attracted to that vibe you a radiating. I really did not begin to fully appreciate that until my early to mid 30´s. Do not under-estimate the power of the Vibe (DNUETPOTV – an NTP Maxim) that you radiate when you are passionate about something, especially when you are living that passion in the moment with that activity. My experience is that the younger the others are, the more they are influenced because their experience is often not sufficient to have felt these things before or felt them as often or as intensely, or perhaps do not have sufficient mental constructs with which to understand the experience. My general experience is that younger females are naturally affected by the Vibe of others, more intensely than men. It is like a moth to the flame. Add on top of that that you are doing something competitive that is demonstrating your dominance and you have instant sexual attraction; being mostly naked in a swim suit is also helpful.
Personally when I am swimming I have a rule that I minimize socialization during practice, I am there to improve myself. A clear exception is helping others as it directly relates to their swimming. Before and after practice is a different story. After I am done chatting with my mates, I will be trying to put my finger in the honey jar. So, there is normally 20-30 minutes, depending how social people are that practice session before and after practice. Swimming twice per day, not including weight training or dryland training provides 80-120 minutes of socializing each day, on the pool deck alone.
More specifically, as it relates to women, I am in a confined space regularly for many hours a week involved in an activity that they enjoy and which I continually show my dominance over them and other males. It is a comfortable and safe environment where attraction can be built. It is constant game on and Mother-Nature takes over and I roll with gravity. These young firm bodies are naturally giving off their indicators of interest and providing opportunities to approach, escalate, game and practice sharpening my skills.
Sadly, more than 80% of the younger guys in the pool are clueless, 15 percent are not clueless, but stumble and only about 3-5% are natural. So another take away is that when your interaction with women is part of your natural environment, doing something that you enjoy, you are more likely to thrive (be cautious of the work environment as that poses some hazardous obstacles). Surfing is similar to swimming, but the vibe is more relaxed mentally and more intense emotionally and kinesthetically. Two-man sand volleyball is a slightly different animal. With 2-man sand volleyball you are more often the center of attention because you are playing and they are watching. This is a two-edged sword. I find that it is always good to get them involved in the fun and frolicking in the sand after practice or after a tournament.
All of the swimmers, in every single country in which I swim, have activities that they embark upon, after practice, in the evening or on weekends. We go to the beach, exploring various parts of the city or island, dance, drink, go to movies, etc. Swimmers are social and form tightly knit groups sometimes more closed to outsiders. The key is to get on the inside...literally.
I attempt to replicate these socialization patterns on a macro level throughout numerous countries in the world, in order to develop a robust network.
Two nuggets that I have discovered about the socialization and interacting with younger women (for the older guys reading this) are Music and Playfulness. I realized in my late 20´s that music changes cyclically every 10 years or so. This is why I think every generation has its music. A key to adapting with younger women is to realize this and find music that you like in that genre; not simple say it is all crap. I have found doing this, especially in my 40´s and 50´s has allowed me to relate to younger women (and them to relate to me) at a more natural level. Going out dancing is an example as they generally like dancing and keeping their bodies in motion. Remember to let them gyrate wildly, but keep your moves simple. I do not feel uncomfortable in Latin America with Reggae-tone music (which I actually like). When we are dancing one on one or if I am dancing with a group of these sexy creatures, they feel that I am into it and they are into me.
I find playfulness is a must when being with women in their 20´s beyond a one night stand. Actually it can be great in getting the one night stand with a girl who is looking for that older guy experience. You can be the lucky stud on her list. I would say that a solid one-third of my nubile notches are from this pool and my guess is the percentage will increase as my outward appearance shows more signs of age.
In my opinion, the key is to be playful in a way that is congruent with whom you are and in a context that is understood by them. Often times, there is a mis-match between the two. I keep playfulness at a very basic level unless it is one of my LTR´s (then it is more frequent and perhaps more complex as I am naturally a more playful person when I have more experience with them).
Tickling would be an example of playfulness or twirling them around while dancing is another fun touching exercise that is playful. When we are playing volleyball and we knock into one another going for the ball and then she is laying there in the sand out of breath, I will pretend to do CPR over her stomach (touching near the pelvis); I actually used this one last week. Then there is mental playfulness. I recommend that you be naturally congruent with yourself (BCWY), still another Maxim, and adapt in the moment with the woman (women) whom you are spending time.
Mental playfulness is a little more challenging (as an older guy) with the 20 somethings as compared to those closer to my age and the chance of incongruity is increased with the former. I do not see the world as a 25 year-old and they certainly have no clue as to what my world looks like. The consequences of incongruity with the modern 20 something crowd are harsh. Often, one major incongruity equals no bone dance. I may be able to reset and restart my game after some time has passed. I give this a 50-50 chance. Two incongruities and I am out of there, unless I have been tapping her hard.
Be unclear, do not let her known from where you are coming, keep her guessing. This will naturally stimulate her tingles and her insecurities. The man who answers directly to the woman is surely doomed. I understand many of us (older guys) were taught this way. It needs to be unlearned gentlemen. Be vague. What has she done to earn your directness or a straight answer? Nothing, so why give it to her, because she wants to know? She does not know what she wants and she will often lead you down a road that will kill the attraction. Screw that. Be indirect, have fun with it.
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