Post: #1

So I've been banging this late 20s girl I met from online game on the regular for the past couple weeks.

I've just been back in "the game" since last summer, and while I've gotten a fair number of SNLs from online game, she's only the second girl I've managed to spin into a regular thing - seen her about four times so far in that period.

So due to my own thirst levels and general inexperience, I've made some mistakes here. The first mistake is that four times in half as many weeks is too much. I only saw my last girl once a week, maximum. But she has a high sex drive, I've been in a bit of a slump over the winter, and it's been hard to resist the way she throws down.

Second mistake: I let my "player" frame slip too quickly. I haven't really been treating her like a girlfriend; we haven't been going on real "dates" and out to dinner and movies and shit - just maybe grab some takeout or stop by an ice cream shop to chat for a while and then off to one of our places to bang. She's definitely not comfortable with just straight up "Netflix n chill" without a little of that, I figure.

But because she's fairly introverted I've had to carry the weight of the conversations quite a bit, and so of course being the kind of emotional guy I am, from time to time it's turned to thoughts about the future, life philosophy, hopes and dreams, and so on. You know the deal.

Third mistake: I texted with her too often.

My reward for this, naturally, is that the other night I get hit up with the "well I like you a lot where is this going" text.

Two weeks is definitely too soon for this sort of thing, so I'm wondering how to play it going forward. I recognize that in a way I was sort of asking for it by sending mixed signals, but is dropping that stuff so soon something that's unforgivable, irreversible, and requires nexting, or is it worth trying to reverse course, pull back, and try to keep her in FB-land?

Though I made some mistakes, given what some of our conversations were like I feel she kind of knew the score going in. She talks about other dates she's been on, other guys she's banged. Trying to flip it around on me so soon is unfair (heh) - the ball needs to be in her court, and she's the one who needs to decide whether she's content with being casual and not bring this up, or next me because she wants commitment and I won't give it.

Lady, I know you got banged out by another dude last week. I'm not signing on to be your boyfriend three days later. You're not hitting him up with the "I like you a lot" shit I guarantee it.

I would've seen the first girl more often, but she always claimed to be busy. I recognize in a way that she was actually helping my newbie-ass out though I didn't realize it, and was likely more self-aware about fuckbuddy game than I was at that point.

Post: #2

Don't be afraid of not getting any more pussy, if you are you don't have the upper hand, she does. There's always more pussy to be had, she isn't the last woman on the planet. She's already planning to "next" you, you're disposable, this is why you get the question.

Post: #3

(03-14-2016 09:01 AM)BassPlayaYo Wrote:  Don't be afraid of not getting any more pussy, if you are you don't have the upper hand, she does. There's always more pussy to be had, she isn't the last woman on the planet. She's already planning to "next" you, you're disposable, this is why you get the question.

Agreed. I'm going to pull way back and disengage for a while and game other girls this week. I know she's going on other dates so why shouldn't I? Maybe hit her up again at the end of the week and see if she's down again. If not, then she's made the call and forget it.

Post: #4

Quote:I am, from time to time it's turned to thoughts about the future, life philosophy, hopes and dreams, and so on. You know the deal.

If I've been banging a girl for a little while, I find it hard to not want to talk post coitally. I try not to bring up shit that will make me seem beta, but it can be hard to keep up appearances. I've gotten better at keeping my cards closer to my chest, but I still feel that urge to "talk frankly" with these hoes after the bang. It's a sure fire way to erode their attraction for you.


I know I'm not offering a tip here, but just wanted to say I share that sentiment.

Post: #5

(03-14-2016 02:33 PM)Red_Pillage Wrote:  

Quote:I am, from time to time it's turned to thoughts about the future, life philosophy, hopes and dreams, and so on. You know the deal.

If I've been banging a girl for a little while, I find it hard to not want to talk post coitally. I try not to bring up shit that will make me seem beta, but it can be hard to keep up appearances. I've gotten better at keeping my cards closer to my chest, but I still feel that urge to "talk frankly" with these hoes after the bang. It's a sure fire way to erode their attraction for you.


I know I'm not offering a tip here, but just wanted to say I share that sentiment.

Thanks.

Basically the way I interpret what she said is "Yeah, I've been on the carousel for a bit now, and I'm kind of tired of it. I'd like you to commit to exclusivity with me after 3.5 meetups because, well, you're the highest value I've come across so far. If you don't, I'm going to hop back on to get banged on the regular by guys I don't really like that much and have no expectations of, until I come across a sucker willing to sign on the line that quickly."

Sorry, I'm not buying.

Post: #6

^ Worse yet she could see you as a potential beta provider. That's especially common when dealing with bitches in that age group. 28-31 year old sloots are the worst for anything other than a bang. Prior to that age, they are still pre-wall and not as jaded, once they're past 31 they usually become accepting of their spinsterhood and are good for easy bangs. But he late 20s early 30's age group is the worst of the "have their cock and eat it too" mentality. They're trying to squeeze out the last of the Alpha Fucks while simultaneously fishing for the future Beta provider. For whom, of course she will make all the usual claims of "being tired of douche bags" and "ready to settle down". The poor sap who bites gets to look forward to starfish sex once a year.

Post: #7

You seem to be overthinking some of this

(03-14-2016 07:03 AM)XPQ22 Wrote:  So I've been banging this late 20s girl I met from online game on the regular for the past couple weeks.

The first mistake is that four times in half as many weeks is too much. I only saw my last girl once a week, maximum. But she has a high sex drive, I've been in a bit of a slump over the winter, and it's been hard to resist the way she throws down.

There's nothing like new ass. Hit that twice a day every day if you can. You (and she) will never be as into it again as you are in the beginning. Just the way it is. Too much pussy?...just like too much money...it don't exist.

The ONLY pussy you are EVER guaranteed is the one you've got your shank in

(03-14-2016 07:03 AM)XPQ22 Wrote:  Second mistake: I let my "player" frame slip too quickly. I haven't really been treating her like a girlfriend; we haven't been going on real "dates" and out to dinner and movies and shit - just maybe grab some takeout or stop by an ice cream shop to chat for a while and then off to one of our places to bang. She's definitely not comfortable with just straight up "Netflix n chill" without a little of that, I figure.

Unless she's a straight up slut (that was likely sexually molested earlier) most chicks need a little interaction to get the juice flowing. Use this time to game her and keep her mind right... but again I see nothing wrong here.

(03-14-2016 07:03 AM)XPQ22 Wrote:  But because she's fairly introverted I've had to carry the weight of the conversations quite a bit, and so of course being the kind of emotional guy I am, from time to time it's turned to thoughts about the future, life philosophy, hopes and dreams, and so on. You know the deal.

If you're making it sound like you're planning your future with her then...yeah...don't. She needs to feel insecure in order to stay attracted

Else nothing wrong with demonstrating to a chick that you have goals and ambitions. In fact it taps in to their "nesting" instinct and programming.

(03-14-2016 07:03 AM)XPQ22 Wrote:  Third mistake: I texted with her too often.

Yep...This is a big one. Nothing dries up pussies faster than a guy without other options

This actually the best way to get RID of a girl...send her 2-3 needy texts a day and watch how quickly she ghosts on you

(03-14-2016 07:03 AM)XPQ22 Wrote:  My reward for this, naturally, is that the other night I get hit up with the "well I like you a lot where is this going" text.

Shit test. Dont answer it. Game on

(03-14-2016 07:03 AM)XPQ22 Wrote:  Two weeks is definitely too soon for this sort of thing, so I'm wondering how to play it going forward. I recognize that in a way I was sort of asking for it by sending mixed signals, but is dropping that stuff so soon something that's unforgivable, irreversible, and requires nexting, or is it worth trying to reverse course, pull back, and try to keep her in FB-land?

Same as above..... Shit test

(03-14-2016 07:03 AM)XPQ22 Wrote:  Though I made some mistakes, given what some of our conversations were like I feel she kind of knew the score going in. She talks about other dates she's been on, other guys she's banged. Trying to flip it around on me so soon is unfair (heh) - the ball needs to be in her court, and she's the one who needs to decide whether she's content with being casual and not bring this up, or next me because she wants commitment and I won't give it.

Disrespect shit test. I'd handle it differently depending on whether that was in person or via text her mentioning another dude...but she's trying to "dread game" you...don't fall for that shit

(03-14-2016 07:03 AM)XPQ22 Wrote:  Lady, I know you got banged out by another dude last week. I'm not signing on to be your boyfriend three days later. You're not hitting him up with the "I like you a lot" shit I guarantee it.

Did she write that to you? "I like you a lot?"

(03-14-2016 07:03 AM)XPQ22 Wrote:  I would've seen the first girl more often, but she always claimed to be busy. I recognize in a way that she was actually helping my newbie-ass out though I didn't realize it, and was likely more self-aware about fuckbuddy game than I was at that point.

Again I think you're overthinking it

Post: #8

Why so cynical? "Where is this going?" is a totally fair question. Take it as a compliment actually. You're right she probably isn't saying that to other dudes she's sleeping with, because they're not giving her as much of the BF-ish experience as you have been. If you behave like an awesome guy (as in, exciting fuckbuddy who also builds intimacy and connection with her) girls tend to fall for you. That's a good thing! It means you can tick all the boxes.

Sometimes the vibe here is a bit too bitter and jaded. Anyway:

Manage expectations, lead the interaction, and be non-needy.

"I'm not looking for a serious relationship yet - got a lot on my plate. But you're a cool girl and we have a great time together. I wanna keep seeing you."

Strong leading, setting the frame how YOU want things to be, non-needy for her. Cut off any talk about other guys if you aren't interested ("wtf. I don't need to hear your sexual history. *next topic*"), or just talk about it freely if you don't care. I would do either one depending on how I felt. See her frequently for a while if you want, then let it slide for a week when you're busy.

Just let your neediness go, and keep leading. Simple.

Manage expectations and stick to the frame you set.

Post: #9

Also I think that some of these sluts bring up other guys they've banged because they are brainwashed into thinking we like that kind of talk, or something. We talk like that so they think they should too. YouGoGirlism and all that. It's disgusting but these ho's don't know any better.

Post: #10

(03-14-2016 05:28 PM)Red_Pillage Wrote:  Also I think that some of these sluts bring up other guys they've banged because they are brainwashed into thinking we like that kind of talk, or something. We talk like that so they think they should too. YouGoGirlism and all that. It's disgusting but these ho's don't know any better.

Absolutely. "YouGoGirlism" as you said. Sometimes it's a test, but often it just hasn't occurred to them that this isn't a tasteful subject to talk about with a guy she's seeing. It's surprising how often that happens.

You can point it out:

You: "Actually, why are you telling me this? You want to hear about all the girls I slept with too?"
Her: "Oh. umm. well, no, not really.."
You: "OK, I didn't think so. So. Next topic. *smile*"

Respond, don't "react". Tone should be non-judgemental, somewhat warm but firmly assertive and guiding her behavior.

Post: #11

I've had this happen before. Usually they bring up other guys because they want to make you jealous and hike up their price point. Its the same technique as how magically every time you're looking for an apartment, theres "someone else interested". Funny enough, it was also with a 26yr old that said to me that she wants to have kids within 2 years.

Post: #12

So, I pulled way back on the texting and let her stew for a bit. Sure enough as night follows day, she sent me some naughty pics unsolicited yesterday and is hitting me up again...

She likes to chat, and I do sometimes as well. But if you're just texting me chatty stuff and not giving it up, all you're getting is two word replies five hours later.