Post: #1

http://elitedaily.com/dating/guys-stop-l...irlfriend/

Tried to archive but it wasn't working.

There's actually some decent Inner Game and soft RP advice couched in BP language. They even admit that dating is a numbers game which is pretty shocking for a modern mainstream BP publication. Discuss.

Entire article copypastaed below:

Quote:6 Things A Guy Should Master Before Trying To Find A Girlfriend
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the one

Kara Riley
Christian Martin
Christian Martin
in Dating
Feb 8, 2016 5:00pm
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“My kid just hasn’t found the right one yet.”

It’s a sentiment echoed near and far by mothers and fathers turning a blind eye to the imperfect nature of their offspring.

As if their little one, who is now in his mid- to late 20s, is a perfect specimen of human mating, and all that’s left to do is to find “the one.”

Sure, compatibility is a big issue when it comes to dating, but it’s a two-way street.

The act of continually searching for the right — without taking a look in the mirror — is akin to trying different jobs and businesses over and over again because you failed at the last one.

The problem might not be the job.

It might be you.

If you’re attracting sh*tty people, chances are, you’re a sh*tty person, too.

Like attract likes.

Healthy people attract healthy people, and dysfunctional people attract dysfunctional people.

You know what I’m talking about.

If you’ve had the same pattern act out in your relationships more than twice, there’s a very good chance it has to do with you.

Instead, what if you became “the one?”

Become the kind of person you’re trying to attract, and you’ll be surprised by how many potential “ones” are looking for what you have to offer.

Here are six of the best ways that I know how:
1. Build self-awareness.

It’s hard to improve yourself if you’re not aware of what is in need of improvement.

Self-awareness isn’t an easy skill to build, but it’s more than worth the effort to work on this area of your life.

Self-awareness will help you recognize your unconscious emotional patterns in relationships, your career and everything else in life.

What’s the best way to start?

Meditation has been proven to increase self-awareness, and it can actually change the structural makeup of your brain.

2. Play the numbers.

You can’t win the game of love if you don’t play.

Life is not a fairytale, and while it would be nice if all love stories started as serendipitously as they do in romantic comedies, they don’t.

While it may be off-putting to your idealistic, hopeless romantic self to think of dating as something much like prospecting in sales, the reality of the situation is that the bigger the pool of potential mates you can interact with in an intentional way, the greater the chance of finding someone compatible.

If you’re waiting around for “the one” to find you, don’t.

Summon your suave side, get out there and start meeting people.

The best place to look? Somewhere that prequalifies your potential lover.

Do you want someone who places a value on health? A yoga class is a good start.

More into performance art? Try an acting class.

3. Learn from your mistakes.

Dating, like anything else in life, is an iterative process.

You get better with repetition.

Think of your middle school self on a date. You probably weren’t as smooth as you think you were.

If you change your goal from “finding the one” to “going on dates,” you’ll succeed every time you go out because you’re practicing and getting better.

You’re getting better at understanding yourself, other people and the relationship between the two.

Dating will teach you what you want and don’t want in a relationship, and best of all, it will make you better at dating.

4. Improve your social skills.

Meeting people, engaging in conversation and being likable is an art form.

Some of us are innately talented at such things, and then there are some of us who have to try a little harder.

The good news is that social skills are indeed a learnable skill set.

Anyone can get better at dealing with people relatively quickly. They even have classes for this.

If you want to get better at interacting with people, try some personal or professional development such as a Dale Carnegie class, improvisational comedy or Toastmasters.

These are nurturing, supportive environments that will teach you how to be better in all of your interactions.

5. Become an independent, interesting person.

Without building an interesting, independent life of your own, you’ll most likely place too much pressure and responsibility on your partner.

Don’t depend on your partner to meet all of your emotional needs. That’s not an ideal many of us can live up to.

Go to the gym, get some interesting hobbies, become good at something, learn skills, speak another language, play an instrument or volunteer for a service opportunity.

I highly recommend you travel. It makes for good stories, and it will make you a better person.

As Mark Twain said,

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.

6. Deal with your sh*t.

They say that when you meet someone and feel like it’s love at first sight, run the other direction. All that’s happened is that your dysfunction has meshed with their dysfunction. Your wounded inner child has recognized their wounded inner child, both hoping to be healed by the same fire that burned them.

— Neil Strauss, “The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships”

It may sound harsh, but chances are, if you are desperately searching for “the one,” then you aren’t ready to find that person.

Sure, you might find someone who’s dysfunction fits perfectly into yours, and you might think you’ve found your soulmate as a result.

But sooner or later, you’ll find out that another person can’t fill the void inside of you.

Only you can do that.

Build an interesting life and learn to be happy with yourself, and I will bet you will find many other attractive, suitable mates who will be happy with you, too.

Post: #2

Quote:— Neil Strauss, “The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships”

Look who wrote it. A guy who's book I'm pretty sure everyone here has read. No wonder it is decent.

Post: #3

(03-20-2016 05:41 PM)Ethan Hunt Wrote:  

Quote:— Neil Strauss, “The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships”

Look who wrote it. A guy who's book I'm pretty sure everyone here has read. No wonder it is decent.

How long until the forum gets a relationships section?

Maybe a new book from Roosh: Bang Every Night (apart from certain times)

Post: #4

(03-20-2016 05:53 PM)Surreyman Wrote:  Maybe a new book from Roosh: Bang Every Night (apart from certain times)

Nah, a Roosh book for guys in relationships would more likely be entitled Try To Bang Every Night, Get Turned Down, Masturbate While She's Asleep.

Post: #5

(03-20-2016 05:53 PM)Surreyman Wrote:  

(03-20-2016 05:41 PM)Ethan Hunt Wrote:  

Quote:— Neil Strauss, “The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships”

Look who wrote it. A guy who's book I'm pretty sure everyone here has read. No wonder it is decent.

How long until the forum gets a relationships section?

Maybe a new book from Roosh: Bang Every Night (apart from certain times)

Game encompasses more than just SNLs and day game. There need to be some marriage datasheets from guys who have had multi year long successful relationships. Maybe continually update it with new shit that's happened and how it was overcome.

Post: #6

(03-20-2016 06:00 PM)jariel Wrote:  

(03-20-2016 05:53 PM)Surreyman Wrote:  Maybe a new book from Roosh: Bang Every Night (apart from certain times)

Nah, a Roosh book for guys in relationships would more likely be entitled Try To Bang Every Night, Get Turned Down, Masturbate While She's Asleep.

Post: #7

(03-20-2016 06:00 PM)jariel Wrote:  

(03-20-2016 05:53 PM)Surreyman Wrote:  Maybe a new book from Roosh: Bang Every Night (apart from certain times)

Nah, a Roosh book for guys in relationships would more likely be entitled Try To Bang Every Night, Get Turned Down, Masturbate While She's Asleep.

As long as you still manage to get it on her face, it's all good.

Post: #8

I've heard Neil Strauss' new book The Truth takes a huge dump on pick up culture. Its basically him projecting his failure in relationships with women out onto all PUAs.

Neil, its not the Game that's the problem. It's you.

Post: #9

(03-20-2016 05:53 PM)Surreyman Wrote:  

(03-20-2016 05:41 PM)Ethan Hunt Wrote:  

Quote:— Neil Strauss, “The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships”

Look who wrote it. A guy who's book I'm pretty sure everyone here has read. No wonder it is decent.

How long until the forum gets a relationships section?

Maybe a new book from Roosh: Bang Every Night (apart from certain times)

Seconded. It's the most logical progression.

Post: #10

Right, the problem is the men.

Then you take that same "problem man," put him in a poor country, and suddenly he's got women proposing marriage within a week to him.

Post: #11

This isn't all bad, but some parts are worthless at best and shit advice at worst, namely:

Quote:get some interesting hobbies

First of all, what the fuck is an "interesting" hobby? Seems a tad subjective. In what world is "get some interesting hobbies" remotely actionable advice?

Quote:become good at something, learn skills

Gee, never thought of that. Nor did I realize that guys who haven't found a wife tend to be good at nothing and have no skills.

Quote:speak another language

Ah, learning another language, the endeavor that every self-righteous SWPL loves to talk about to posture themselves as intellectual and worldly, but no one never does. Let's face it- If you live in an English speaking country and plan on living there your entire life, learning a new language has incredibly low ROI.

Quote:play an instrument or volunteer for a service opportunity

Great if you like playing instruments or volunteering, terrible if you do these things because you think they'll make you seem more attractive.

Quote:I highly recommend you travel. It makes for good stories, and it will make you a better person.

Again, travel is great if you enjoy travel, but who the fuck in their right mind would do it to have better stories to tell girls on a date?

Quote:Build an interesting life and learn to be happy with yourself, and I will bet you will find many other attractive, suitable mates who will be happy with you, too.

No, not necessarily. The most interesting, attractive man in the world would die a virgin if he didn't take deliberate action to meet and bed women. This bullshit "it'll happen for you eventually" type advice is fucking toxic. Getting intimate with women isn't something that happens, it's something that's done.

Post: #12

(03-20-2016 05:53 PM)Surreyman Wrote:  How long until the forum gets a relationships section?

Maybe a new book from Roosh: Bang Every Night (apart from certain times)

#TeamSharkWeek

In all seriousness, I don't think we really need a relationship section. The current Game one already covers it.

Post: #13

1. Tip camwhore enough so she gives you information you can use to track her down.
2. Buy human-sized burlap sack.
3. Put sack on camwhore, use to carry camwhore to basement hole, put camwhore in basement hole.
4. Congrats! You're in a relationship now!

Post: #14

(03-21-2016 12:20 AM)Delta Wrote:  This isn't all bad, but some parts are worthless at best and shit advice at worst, namely:

Quote:get some interesting hobbies

First of all, what the fuck is an "interesting" hobby? Seems a tad subjective. In what world is "get some interesting hobbies" remotely actionable advice?

In a world where your every outlet of human endeavour has to be approved, managed, signed off on. Not saying I entirely disagree with you, but hobbies are all you are left with when purpose wains.

Quote:

Quote:become good at something, learn skills

Gee, never thought of that. Nor did I realize that guys who haven't found a wife tend to be good at nothing and have no skills.

No, but a majority of guys are like that, & they're pulling less pussy than you & I. This is not healthy for anyone.

Quote:

Quote:speak another language

Ah, learning another language, the endeavor that every self-righteous SWPL loves to talk about to posture themselves as intellectual and worldly, but no one never does. Let's face it- If you live in an English speaking country and plan on living there your entire life, learning a new language has incredibly low ROI.

Absolute bullshit. Proven to be one of the best ways to stave of early onset dementia & great for getting strange on the side. I could go on. You sir, are speaking nonsense here.

Quote:

Quote:play an instrument or volunteer for a service opportunity

Great if you like playing instruments or volunteering, terrible if you do these things because you think they'll make you seem more attractive.

Have done both of these things for personal satisfaction. Have banged my way thru every bit coming to me as a result of it as well. No complaints.

Quote:

Quote:I highly recommend you travel. It makes for good stories, and it will make you a better person.

Again, travel is great if you enjoy travel, but who the fuck in their right mind would do it to have better stories to tell girls on a date?

Me. Wanna hear about the Kenyan Porn Star? How I blagged my way into Pinewood? Or my two week Australian East Coast ecstasy bender with some strange I pulled on the fly. Wet yet?

Quote:

Quote:Build an interesting life and learn to be happy with yourself, and I will bet you will find many other attractive, suitable mates who will be happy with you, too.

No, not necessarily. The most interesting, attractive man in the world would die a virgin if he didn't take deliberate action to meet and bed women. This bullshit "it'll happen for you eventually" type advice is fucking toxic. Getting intimate with women isn't something that happens, it's something that's done.

Not when you an interesting man like the one I've described above. My life experience tells me otherwise.

Post: #15

This article is quite vague, but at least it's in the right direction. It's sad that the bar has been set so low nowadays, but I'll take it.

As for jariel, I believe he just forgot to put in some punctuation in there so it came across wrong.

Post: #16

This is the best dating article I've ever seen on Elite Daily.

Yes, hobbies might be overrated, but they do actually make you somewhat interesting.

Again it depends on the hobby. Do you play Video games, or do you go hiking and backpacking? One will give you far better stories and more friends then the other.

Picking at "traveling" and "building an interesting life" seems to be playing devils advocate a bit.

Post: #17

And at that point, you don't need a relationship because you got other things occupying you.

Post: #18

(03-20-2016 10:50 PM)Speculation Wrote:  I've heard Neil Strauss' new book The Truth takes a huge dump on pick up culture. Its basically him projecting his failure in relationships with women out onto all PUAs.

Neil, its not the Game that's the problem. It's you.

But that taps into the core problem with the old-school PUA movement. The entire thing was predicated onto the idea of "learning game", aka trying to learn conversational techniques that were supposed to get you laid.

Obviously it isn't going to work. You might be able to fake it long enough to get a girl to have a one night stand with you (IF you're good looking), but sooner or later the real BP/beta/mangina self is going to come out and the girl will no longer bow down to you. At it's core PUA is still a bluepill philosophy because it is still trapped up in the mindset of putting pussy on a pedestal when you SHOULD be strategically focused on building up your own life...because pussy will come on it's own once you improve.

That's why you NEVER hear me advocate "learning game", but I do advocate building up your masculinity or "building your game".

Post: #19

(03-21-2016 02:29 PM)Easy_C Wrote:  

(03-20-2016 10:50 PM)Speculation Wrote:  I've heard Neil Strauss' new book The Truth takes a huge dump on pick up culture. Its basically him projecting his failure in relationships with women out onto all PUAs.

Neil, its not the Game that's the problem. It's you.

But that taps into the core problem with the old-school PUA movement. The entire thing was predicated onto the idea of "learning game", aka trying to learn conversational techniques that were supposed to get you laid.

Obviously it isn't going to work. You might be able to fake it long enough to get a girl to have a one night stand with you (IF you're good looking), but sooner or later the real BP/beta/mangina self is going to come out and the girl will no longer bow down to you. At it's core PUA is still a bluepill philosophy because it is still trapped up in the mindset of putting pussy on a pedestal when you SHOULD be strategically focused on building up your own life...because pussy will come on it's own once you improve.

That's why you NEVER hear me advocate "learning game", but I do advocate building up your masculinity or "building your game".

http://therationalmale.com/2011/09/22/dr...-dynamite/

Quote:One of the biggest dangers of the PUA ideal is that it does nothing to address the root problem of AFCism (for lack of a better term). AFCs don’t want to stop being AFCs. Largely, they just want their ONEitis (or their “dream girl”) to hook up with them long term and then drift back into a comfortable ‘just being themselves’. According to The Game even Mystery, with all his PUA prowess, degenerates into a simpering, borderline suicidal chump when he realizes that his PUA scripts do nothing in an LTR with Katya (his ONEitis). The most notorious PUA in modern history was still an AFC, because he hadn’t killed that mentality, that AFC internalization – he hadn’t killed his inner AFC.

He uses the term AFC a lot, but you get the idea.

Post: #20

(03-20-2016 09:28 PM)Roosh Wrote:  

(03-20-2016 06:00 PM)jariel Wrote:  

(03-20-2016 05:53 PM)Surreyman Wrote:  Maybe a new book from Roosh: Bang Every Night (apart from certain times)

Nah, a Roosh book for guys in relationships would more likely be entitled Try To Bang Every Night, Get Turned Down, Masturbate While She's Asleep.

Someone PM'ed me about my comment, and it was then I realize that it might have been misconstrued.

The point was that most guys get into relationships thinking they'll be provided with steady sex, and they find out otherwise.

Post: #21

(03-21-2016 03:01 PM)jariel Wrote:  

(03-20-2016 09:28 PM)Roosh Wrote:  

(03-20-2016 06:00 PM)jariel Wrote:  

(03-20-2016 05:53 PM)Surreyman Wrote:  Maybe a new book from Roosh: Bang Every Night (apart from certain times)

Nah, a Roosh book for guys in relationships would more likely be entitled Try To Bang Every Night, Get Turned Down, Masturbate While She's Asleep.

Someone PM'ed me about my comment, and it was then I realize that it might have been misconstrued.

The point was that most guys get into relationships thinking they'll be provided with steady sex, and they find out otherwise.

It was a good point, if confusingly made. The trouble is, there's a hundred things 'most men' do to shoot themselves in the foot every day.

In Anglosphere cities, most men aren't even masculine. Masculinity is basic shit in a relationship, it's the equivelant of checking your cars oil level. Additionally, they usually become dull and unattractive as they age, because they think lager and spectator sports are masculine. Also, they probably don't touch the various psychological stuff that comes up in a relationship (trust etc).

Most people sleepwalk through life, never thinking about what they do. That's why the men here are different in some way, we all asked questions and wanted to improve our position in life. This forum is like the American Dream for the 21st century. That's why the men who spend their time here trying to learn and better themselves should never settle for an unhappy relationship.

Post: #22

The advice isn't so bad in itself.

The issue is that Elite Daily would never publish the same article about how women should get a BF. In fact, going through their dating section, here are some titles:

"Guys, this is the only way you should ever ask a woman out"
"4 Ways to make your GF's Friends Love You Because Yes, It Matters"
"8 Lessons I’ve Learned From The 8 Incredible Women I’ve Fallen For"

So either:
a) How you as a man have to change or
b) How spectacular women are

Elite Daily puts out 10 of these articles a day and women eat this shit up. No wonder some of them are so entitled

Post: #23

(03-21-2016 02:37 PM)Il Bersagliere Wrote:  

(03-21-2016 02:29 PM)Easy_C Wrote:  

(03-20-2016 10:50 PM)Speculation Wrote:  I've heard Neil Strauss' new book The Truth takes a huge dump on pick up culture. Its basically him projecting his failure in relationships with women out onto all PUAs.

Neil, its not the Game that's the problem. It's you.

But that taps into the core problem with the old-school PUA movement. The entire thing was predicated onto the idea of "learning game", aka trying to learn conversational techniques that were supposed to get you laid.

Obviously it isn't going to work. You might be able to fake it long enough to get a girl to have a one night stand with you (IF you're good looking), but sooner or later the real BP/beta/mangina self is going to come out and the girl will no longer bow down to you.

That's why you NEVER hear me advocate "learning game", but I do advocate building up your masculinity or "building your game".

http://therationalmale.com/2011/09/22/dr...-dynamite/

Quote:According to The Game even Mystery, with all his PUA prowess, degenerates into a simpering, borderline suicidal chump when he realizes that his PUA scripts do nothing in an LTR with Katya (his ONEitis).

He uses the term AFC a lot, but you get the idea.

Not wanting to rail on anyone here, but.... Judging the PUA Mystery movement by its value in 2016 is like judging how a bow, while instrumental for the development of hunter/gatherer society, is useless in a modern firefight.

Lets put it this way, back in the 1990-2000, you dont need that much game to get laid. At the time, PUA WAS game, and it worked for the purpose it was created to do, as well as creating the base for everything we have now.

Saying Mystery was a loser because he has oneitis is like saying Roosh and a bunch of us are losers because despite all our game we still can not find a beautiful and faithful girl who makes us want to settle down and stay dutiful to us till death (which was possible in another era) At one time, oneitis wasn't that much of a problem. Living alone without siring a heir was.


There will never be that flawless game, there's just a game that is more adapted to a certain period/geography as men learn to evolve and adapt. Right now the game that Roosh promotes is working, but we have also beaten this question to death: will improving yourself physically and mentally still work when the amount of thin pretty girl goes down to 5% worldwide with feminism spreading all over the globe, and men becomes criminals in their own home?


Back on topic. The article at least steer man in the right direction, but it only addresses the "self improvement" side of the debate. We both know that getting laid = (active) game + self improvement. Frankly, I think number 2 should be 1. The active part of game needs to be emphasized more. There's a lot of game you can only learn when you have had a certain experience with women.

Post: #24

(03-21-2016 04:42 PM)younggun Wrote:  The advice isn't so bad in itself.

The issue is that Elite Daily would never publish the same article about how women should get a BF. In fact, going through their dating section, here are some titles:

"Guys, this is the only way you should ever ask a woman out"
"4 Ways to make your GF's Friends Love You Because Yes, It Matters"
"8 Lessons I’ve Learned From The 8 Incredible Women I’ve Fallen For"

So either:
a) How you as a man have to change or
b) How spectacular women are

Elite Daily puts out 10 of these articles a day and women eat this shit up. No wonder some of them are so entitled

There's a reason I tried to archive the article originally. Elite Daily is a BP rag most of the time.

Post: #25

(03-21-2016 02:29 PM)Easy_C Wrote:  

(03-20-2016 10:50 PM)Speculation Wrote:  I've heard Neil Strauss' new book The Truth takes a huge dump on pick up culture. Its basically him projecting his failure in relationships with women out onto all PUAs.

Neil, its not the Game that's the problem. It's you.

But that taps into the core problem with the old-school PUA movement. The entire thing was predicated onto the idea of "learning game", aka trying to learn conversational techniques that were supposed to get you laid.

Obviously it isn't going to work. You might be able to fake it long enough to get a girl to have a one night stand with you (IF you're good looking), but sooner or later the real BP/beta/mangina self is going to come out and the girl will no longer bow down to you. At it's core PUA is still a bluepill philosophy because it is still trapped up in the mindset of putting pussy on a pedestal when you SHOULD be strategically focused on building up your own life...because pussy will come on it's own once you improve.

That's why you NEVER hear me advocate "learning game", but I do advocate building up your masculinity or "building your game".

As Dalaran said, this is more of a confusion between PUA 1.0 and PUA 2.0 (or modern game). PUA 1.0 was imitation of perceived 'alpha' behaviour, while 2.0 is focused around holistic self-development.

I agree with what you're saying, that some of the 'paper-alphas' produced from 1.0 aren't going to be able to hold down a relationship, because its a skillset designed to garner one night stands.

To be clear, I haven't read the book, but if Strauss is dumping on the entire culture rather than just the relics from his age then he is doing a disservice to all the men that work hard developing themselves.

While I agree that many guys within the pickup/game community would be best served by some time in therapy, I don't think they are all broken creatures like Strauss who are unable to hold down a secure intimate relationship. He's projecting his own baggage out onto the community.

All that said, I think the original article has good advice, but its telling that they don't also direct it at women. Men are much more utilitarian and accepting that they themselves might be at fault. Hurting the feelings of women is bad for any business.