Post: #1

Hi everybody,

I was wondering whether to put this in the Game section, but it's about investing, so I decided to put it here.

My background: I have been known my LTR for 4 years and we have been together for 3. We have regular threesomes and she's pretty much my recruitment agent on that. We've had the marriage talk and I have said in no way am I getting married to her or anybody else, given the way divorce and courts go these days. I currently own my own apartment with the mortgage half paid off. We're both 27.

She is worried that if I leave her, she won't have anything built from our time together and since we don't want kids and marriage, she's looking for an asset, i.e an apartment, but she can't afford one by herself.

Here's where I come in. The extra money I have invested allows me to access these funds and assist with the purchase of her apartment.

It'll be in her name so she has the security she is looking for and the mortgage risk is all hers.
I'll have a contract drafted up stating I own a percentage of the apartment depending on my contribution.
All monthly rental and bills are to be split according to % ownership
Clause in the contract that if she sells before 5 years, I get my % share of the selling price + xx% penalty for early sale
If she sells after 5 years I get my % share of the selling price

Basically I'm looking at this to be a long term property investment for myself with a sound contract in place ensuring that even if things go nuclear, my money is protected and I'll make a return on it.

Your thoughts?

Has anyone ever done something like this?

Thanks

Post: #2

No
Hell no

WIA

Post: #3

(04-06-2016 07:18 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  No
Hell no

WIA

WIA has covered any and all details you will need.

Post: #4

Be careful and get a great lawyer for when shit hits the fan. My lender wants to put my gf's income onto my mortgage to qualify for a higher priced property. I'm doing everything I can to avoid it. I'd rather own 100% of a shithole than pay on a mortgage I can't live in.

The betas over at BiggerPockets always suggest to put properties under your wife's/gf's name to qualify for more properties. Talk about a terrible idea.

Post: #5

Investing in a property with a woman that you have no plans of getting married is a bad idea, investing in a property with a woman who has threesomes with you is a super super bad idea. Invest your money elsewhere, you better off playing Russian roulette.

Post: #6

If you won't marry the woman, why would you purchase a property together?

Seems like a bad business deal to me.

Post: #7

NO!
Hell No!
For God's Sake NO!
Don't do it.

Are you out of your mind? Whats next, having a kid with her?

Even if you have a contract and all that, do you really want to risk going through thousands of dollars in legal fees when she decides 'its hers' or 'she deserves it' and you have to fight in court to get back your money or she sells it to her next boyfriend for almost nothing (or way below market rate) and cuts you out of ownership? Talk about being in control of nothing.

Even worse, what if she sells and takes all of the money for herself, or something happens and she goes bankrupt, then what will you do?

I suspect that you are also losing frame in the relationship and she is going to start walking all over you if she has not already.

Post: #8

No!

Post: #9

I am compelled to post again.

Even if this girl is the absolute nicest person you've ever met, creating legal contracts with friends and family is a surefire way to ruin those relationships. You either get married, and hang out balls out there and risk everything or you say 'we're friends, I don't want business to sour that, so I can't help you'

also, reading the OP again it just sounds like she is shit testing/gold digging

Quote:She is worried that if I leave her, she won't have anything built from our time together and since we don't want kids and marriage, she's looking for an asset, i.e an apartment, but she can't afford one by herself.

I will bet a dozen donuts, that if you buy her this apartment, she will leave you.[/b]

Post: #10

If you're looking to "invest" some money, give it to me. I'll spend it on drugs, alcohol, and prostitutes. You wouldn't get a return, but it is a much more sound investment than giving this girl all your money, because you wouldn't get a return from her either.

At least you will know that I had a good time spending it.

Post: #11

Post: #12

No.

Post: #13

Quote:She is worried that if I leave her, she won't have anything built from our time together and since we don't want kids and marriage, she's looking for an asset, i.e an apartment, but she can't afford one by herself.

She doesn't actually want this apartment idea. She wants to feel like you are investing in her. So invest in her.

Go on a mini-honeymoon instead. Make plans for a glamorous future. Be idealistic. Go read items 1-21 from Felix Dennis's autobiography, chapter 14, and take some of those ideas and adapt them to your relationship.

Listen to what she says. You are putting words in her mouth. She wants meaning, connection, and some relief from her fear of abandonment. So give that to her. "Buying her shit" is the worst way to do it.

Writing her on as an accessory part-owner in a real-estate venture does not count.

Post: #14

There is just so many things wrong with this question, so lets address this.

1. You said you don't want to marry her or anyone else.
You do realize that there are laws for cohabitation (living together) where the law treats you like a married couple. So in the event shit doesn't work out, she can take half of everything.
And at the moment the everything seems to be the apartment you own.

Let me ask you this: how much has she contributed to the apartment?

2. You have threesomes with her
...and now you want to mix business and pleasure?

3. You said "She is worried that if I leave her, she won't have anything built from our time together"

a) So isn't she doing anything productive with her own life or is she just being a parasite trying to suck money and resources out of you?
b) why is this your problem? She's not a child and can (and should) take care of herself
c) you aren't building anything together; you are banging and shes on the gravy train (trying to cash in for the use of her vagina)

4. Investment
So let me ask you this; if she didn't have a pussy; would you still want to "invest" in her?
Because I am sure there are hundreds of investments you can find

Bottom line: She's finding ways to keep you around because she herself is a mess. She looks at you sees you have money and is using the powers of her "magical pussy" to suck you in.

And the sad part is, it's working because you are willing to lock in with her (despite you not wanting marriage).

Solution: Dump her

Post: #15

Don't do it.

Is she living with you?

You said she can't afford to invest that is her problem. Unless you have been leaching money off of her, then maybe I would give a little pause for thought because I come from the school of don't screw people over. Even if they let you, you still need to have some decency.

But if you have not been stealing from her (being extreme here), then no don't do it. Have her invest with one of her GF, or something.

Don't let having an asset get to your head, you never what rough waters are ahead when you will need your resources to manage through tough times. You don't want to be locked in with a woman.

Post: #16

Investing in real estate for the is fraught with all kinds of peril unless you are experienced and very savvy in a particular market. It's like a minefield.

Adding another layer of complexity such as investing with a romantic partner is like intentionally scattering another layer of land mines on the road in front of you.

Not a prudent idea.

Besides...why would you intentionally create a way for her to need you less?


Her insecurity = your security

"Want a sure fire way to have a woman fuck you over? Give her everything she needs to do it"...PapayaTapper

"The power in a relationship lies with whoever cares less" Uncle Wayne

Post: #17

(04-06-2016 05:00 AM)Asterion Wrote:  She is worried that if I leave her, she won't have anything built from our time together and since we don't want kids and marriage, she's looking for an asset, i.e an apartment, but she can't afford one by herself.

Here's where I come in. The extra money I have invested allows me to access these funds and assist with the purchase of her apartment.

Meaning, she wants free stuff from you. And not just some random free stuff. She wants an apartment.

Why do you give a shit about her worries? She's not your wife, nor the mother of your child. Don't do this, save the money or invest it somewhere else.

Post: #18

No. Nyet. Nah. Hell to the no. Non. 沒有. नहीं.

Post: #19

Seriously, I can't affirm what everyone's said, FUCK NO.

An LTR for 4 years, constant 3somes, she hunts girls for you, she knows you aren't for marriage.

Why would you fuck that up with a financial contract ?

She says she's "looking for an asset" I say she's "looking for a payday"

Sure help her invest in an apartment....on her OWN, with her OWN money.

Post: #20

This isn't an investment, it's a purchase with risk.

Not that you can't have an LTR live with you (despite that being a poor choice in my opinion) but a man should stand on his own and safeguard his assets in today's climate. Have her live there, sure but do research on squatters' rights and common-law marriage.

Post: #21

No

Don't do business with women

Post: #22

So i can speak to this based on actual experience.

I have been a real estate investor for a decade now. Most of my current properties, flips and lending projects were all done in Alberta. I had a serious GF I lived with during the height of my buying and selling days. I have always been one to protect my assets. not just from women but also from tenants, the government, any other lawsuit or my brother's cunt of a wife. Similar situation in that she had money and wanted to start making money with it. I got her lending money out, investing in the stock market and ultimately us buying a place together for investment purposes.

Before we moved in together I owned the house i was living in. I rented out the basement and had a buddy staying with me upstairs. On the advice of my lawyer, i ended up renting a property with my gf that we lived in and just had another buddy move into my place i owned so it would cash flow.

Once we got into hunting for an investment property for us, i started setting up separate companies for the both of us. I just had my holding company own the numbered company i opened up for myself and also opened up a numbered company under her name. In Alberta the dowry law applies if you both spend a night in the property while being married or common law. So i made sure we didnt sleep in it together because you never know what a judge might say even if it was owned by numbered companies. Secondly i had air tight contracts written up by my lawyer and had her get a separate lawyer so there was no conflict of interest period. It cost quadruple to finalize this purchase than it normally would but i wanted to be make sure things were done right and to her credit so did she.

Well about 8 or 9 months after we bought the place the tenants were involved in a car accident and missed a little work and because of pay cheque issues started paying us in the middle of the month. It was no big deal for me since they still paid when they said they would and of course always brought me cash. But my gf who was pretty easy going for the most part couldnt get it through her head what was going on. So for the first 2 weeks of every month i had to hear non stop whining about why they werent paying on the first of the month. It didnt even matter because every month we were cash flowing and at 9 months we had 2 months worth of rent in the account, so it wasnt like the money was coming out of our pockets for a couple weeks. After that it was just one thing after another that was no big deal but she would just bring it up over and over and over again. I couldnt handle it. We eventually broke up and tried to sell the place and that is where the real fun began. Being a realtor at one time myself and doing a lot of transactions i wanted to use someone i knew was competent, would actually market the property and give us a small break on commission. But because she was part owner and wanted to stick it to me as well, she pushed to have her own realtor and pay the old hag full commission to simply put it on the MLS system. Knowing we wouldnt get anywhere if i didnt compromise we tried a co-listing so i could get it on the market during the fall months. Well the 2 realtors couldnt get a long and it turned into a disaster with them not communicating properly with the tenants and other realtors for showings. We took the property off the market at the end of 2010.

We never spoke with each other during this whole procedure. We are both the same way when we break up with someone, we dont talk or text or email. This was all being communicated through our lawyers and realtors. I looked after the property until 2013 and she took over until the spring of 2014 when we finally sold the place.

By the time it was all said and done i might have earned $5000 on my investment once i paid out realtor fees, lawyer bills and maintenance to the property. The property wasnt that expensive but anybody who knows anything about calgary real estate will tell you that it pretty much went straight up coming out of the 2009 recession and until late 2014. My other places that i had or still have during that time frame earned me more than 10x the 5000 i got out of that property.

So moral of the story is even if you set everything up properly are you willing to deal with non stop nagging about non issues? Even if the girl is laid back, she wont be when it comes to investing in a property. Are you willing to sacrifice return to help her get her foot in the door? Are you willing to pay extra to cross all T's and dot all I's? And finally since you arent going to marry her are you going to be prepared to potentially have her in your life 4 or 5 or maybe a decade longer than you planned?

Post: #23

Because you can't possibly hear this from enough people...

Don't do it.

Post: #24

But if you feel adventurous do it and let us know how it goes.

The more I process your post, I sort of wonder why you would even consider it?

Don't get me wrong, in my past I have done shit to be nice and nothing good has come out of it.

Unless the returns on an investment are so outsized, numerous complications just raise the hurdle to pull the trigger.

Post: #25

(04-06-2016 06:19 PM)BIGINJAPAN Wrote:  So i can speak to this based on actual experience.
<SNIP>

Repped.

To the OP, no, no, no, and also, no.

Would you loan money to her if she is not good with her money? No. Why would you buy a property with her?

The wealthiest guy I know (okay, 2nd wealthiest now but only because I met a billionaire), had this to say:

"AO, you can't solve a money problem with money, you can only delay the inevitable by throwing money at a money problem"

Basically, if you have a hole in a bucket, you don't put more sand in it, you repair the hole or you THROW AWAY THE BUCKET.