Post: #1

Late at night, I'm a dreamer. I have all these grandiose visions about changing my life, embarking on new adventures, expressing myself, and seeking fulfillment at any cost.

I wake up in the morning a stiff pragmatist. I'm pissed at my night self for wasting time on a bunch of pie-in-the-sky bullshit, wishing instead I'd done something productive. I also can't believe my night self seriously considered quitting a good job or uprooting away from family and friends.

When I'm busy and/or stressed, I don't want to be bothered with girls unless I see my future wife staring back at me. They feel like a chore and a drag. If I have a date set up with a marginal prospect, I'm pissed that I have to go through the trouble.

When I'm well-rested with a lot of free time, I'm an uncontrollable horndog, psyched up to game anything remotely bangable, and pissed off at my busy/stressed self from the previous few days for not producing any leads.

Is it normal to struggle with constant fluctuation in values and desires, and have multiple selves that don't agree on life decisions?

Post: #2

I've had fluctuating energy and desires for quite a while now. This is probably due to the fact that I don't currently have a handle on good bio-habits (sleep, diet, exercise).

I work around it by making realistic plans when I'm at my best and ignoring random whims outside of those times.

Besides that I've learnt to be humble about the fact that I'm a human and thus emotional and flawed. I don't beat myself up for feeling or thinking the 'wrong' thing.

I know we like to pretend that we are mechanical forces of nature that are consistent and infallible, but we all have bad days and habits. While working to improve ourselves I think it pays to be mindful of that fact.