Post: #1

Hello guys,
I am a long-time lurker of this forum and I learned a lot of stuff from here. Now here is my problem, it is not really about game:
Ever since I can remember, I was anxious. As a kid I was shy and afraid of new surroundings and people. I never caused any trouble, always followed the rules of my parents, my teachers and generally did what adults told me to do. My parents don't even have memories of me doing stupid shit, that's how good I was.

Present day. I am still anxious and unable to connect with people. Even tho I read red pill stuff for years I can't seem to be able to apply anything. My notch count is bellow 10 and I've been trying to pick up chicks for years. I cannot make decisions and think for myself, I lack creativity and initiative, I'm starting to think maybe I have a low IQ. I am trying to improve myself but it seems I'm going against the wind because all of this stuff above is part of my personality?

So am I born beta with no chance of becoming the person I want to become?

Post: #2

(04-21-2016 04:48 PM)dunn Wrote:  Hello guys,
I am a long-time lurker of this forum and I learned a lot of stuff from here. Now here is my problem, it is not really about game:
Ever since I can remember, I was anxious. As a kid I was shy and afraid of new surroundings and people. I never caused any trouble, always followed the rules of my parents, my teachers and generally did what adults told me to do. My parents don't even have memories of me doing stupid shit, that's how good I was.

Present day. I am still anxious and unable to connect with people. Even tho I read red pill stuff for years I can't seem to be able to apply anything. My notch count is bellow 10 and I've been trying to pick up chicks for years. I cannot make decisions and think for myself, I lack creativity and initiative, I'm starting to think maybe I have a low IQ. I am trying to improve myself but it seems I'm going against the wind because all of this stuff above is part of my personality?

So am I born beta with no chance of becoming the person I want to become?

Ok I'll bite...Please describe in as much detail as you can muster the person you would like to become

In the meantime first things first...forget the whole Alpha/Beta as a moniker...it's counter productive

Post: #3

Every beta is born that way. And nobody can change that. That's why we all are on this forum...to circle jerk.


EDIT: I'm just kidding.

Quote:I am still anxious and unable to connect with people. Even tho I read red pill stuff for years I can't seem to be able to apply anything.

Yeah try not to go too heavy on the theory without applying it. It takes surprisingly little knowledge, but lots of experience to learn to get along with others in a social setting. Start going out and applying basic social skills, it will pay off more than reading about it.

Post: #4

You're born male or female. Read up on your developmental psychology. I'd suggest "I'm Ok, You're Ok" and The Gervais Principle on ribbonfarm.com.

Post: #5

You say you have tried picking up girls. How hard have you tried? How many approaches have you done? Day game or night game? Don't you have some kind of social circle at work/school which you can practice flirting with girls?

If you are as lost as you say you are, just take it easy, chill, but go and DO something about it in baby steps. See that girl in the cashier when you're buying groceries? Doesn't matter how ugly or old she is, make a joke, flirt, say something, you don't have to get her number or try anything, just say something at least. You will have countless of interactions during your day, use that to slowly train your social capabilities. The best time for this is the commute to/from work/school. You are out and about anyways, it won't hurt anyone if you talk to the people on your path.

I honestly don't think you can be born beta and have to stay that way, beta is not a fucking gene, you can become the person you want to be if you try hard enough. Most of us have obviously been somewhat in your shoes, otherwise we wouldn't be discussing gaming chicks so detailed on the internet. And although I feel like I've come a long way from the first time I read The Game and Mystery PUA stuff, I still have a long way to go. Now I am banging countless of 6-7s, but my challenge is to go for higher quality girls, I still lack confidence sometimes if I'm talking to a 9/10.

There are so many 4s and 5s out there dying for some real dick. Do the girls, the world and yourself favour, give it to them. Take one for the team. Baby steps bro, baby steps.

Post: #6

I think genetics pays some role in size. What I mean is you just happen to be genetically larger than your peers you learn early on about might makes right, which would then let you be aggressive as other people realize you have a size advantage. Sure there are some born with predisposed mental issues. Other than that I think a lot has to do with environment.

Post: #7

Have you ever had your testosterone checked? Men with higher anxiety have lower testosterone levels. You might be a candidate for TRT therapy.

Post: #8

(04-21-2016 04:48 PM)dunn Wrote:  My notch count is bellow 10 and I've been trying to pick up chicks for years.

Your notch is below 10? If it was below 1 I would be worried. You can be dominant alpha male and only have sex with one woman in your entire life, because you landed yourself a good virgin woman the first time around who doesn't interfere with your purpose and actually supports it.

Oh second thought, maybe you should be worried... I just realized how silly that sounds now that it's 2016 and how I can't go anywhere without seeing short haired tatted party sluts.

Post: #9

I don't have a social circle at work to go out with. I have spent all my teen years being a loner just sitting at the computer, and I'm afraid this was critical for my development as an adult.

To improve myself I tried studying abroad when I was in university, that did not work to change me into a more social being, but it was an experience.
This year I moved to an entirely new city where I knew nobody to try and force me to be social. This kinda failed because I'm here for months now and I'm still living the lonely solo city life.

I did check my thyroid since I have a family history for that, but the lab results were ok. I should check my testosterone and vitamins deficiency next

Post: #10

(04-22-2016 02:33 PM)dunn Wrote:  I don't have a social circle at work to go out with. I have spent all my teen years being a loner just sitting at the computer, and I'm afraid this was critical for my development as an adult.

To improve myself I tried studying abroad when I was in university, that did not work to change me into a more social being, but it was an experience.
This year I moved to an entirely new city where I knew nobody to try and force me to be social. This kinda failed because I'm here for months now and I'm still living the lonely solo city life.

I did check my thyroid since I have a family history for that, but the lab results were ok. I should check my testosterone and vitamins deficiency next

My testosterone levels have been low for at least a couple years now. Been confirmed with multiple lab tests. If you pay attention to the threads in the Health forum here on RVF, you'll discover a wealth of information regarding Zinc, Testosterone, Vitamins, etc. Read with intensity and bone up on that knowledge.

Many men, myself included, have a tendency to sit around and fritter time away with too much reading on the internet, and not enough acting. Get a game plan going on how you'll manage your time and set goals. Avoid time sinks like porn, chasing women, videogames, etc. Until you have your own personal house in order, worrying about women is a lost cause. Improve yourself first and foremost. Women come and go, but the very best woman you can get if you want a LTR will require that you improve as a man. Like attracts like. If you want some advice on how to begin this journey, just private message me and I'll be happy to help.

Post: #11

(04-22-2016 02:33 PM)dunn Wrote:  I don't have a social circle at work to go out with. I have spent all my teen years being a loner just sitting at the computer, and I'm afraid this was critical for my development as an adult.

To improve myself I tried studying abroad when I was in university, that did not work to change me into a more social being, but it was an experience.
This year I moved to an entirely new city where I knew nobody to try and force me to be social. This kinda failed because I'm here for months now and I'm still living the lonely solo city life.

I did check my thyroid since I have a family history for that, but the lab results were ok. I should check my testosterone and vitamins deficiency next

Was there a reason you ignored PapayaTapper's question? He put the main part in bold.

Post: #12

As mentioned by John Kane, there are some health issues that can cause a male to act like a bitch; low T and elevated E2/SHBG.

Look up TRT forums, and ask what tests you'll need. Post your results up, and maybe find a private Dr who specializes in treatment. Best money I ever spent. Oh, and go lift!

Post: #13

(04-21-2016 05:34 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  So am I born beta with no chance of becoming the person I want to become?


Ok I'll bite...Please describe in as much detail as you can muster the person you would like to become

OP

To "become" something else means to change.

If you want to make real lasting changes in your life you first need to know what your goal(s) is/are.

Like for any journey you need a map

Imagine the man you "are" now is in Vienna. If you want to leave Vienna and not wander aimlessly then you have to pick your destination.

Continuing the metaphor if the man you want "to be" is in Prague...now you know where youre going. Now you can create the map to get there



Again...Please describe in as much detail as you can muster the person you would like to become

That's the first step to making your "map" and the only way anyone can possibly help you....including yourself

Post: #14

op?

Post: #15

Dunno about that. From my own experience I was pretty alpha when I was a kid, then my father died and i got trauma or something. Basically I turned into a big beta. Been beta thru uni and I'd say a year ago I started slowly turning the tide.

Sometimes I'll do some alpha stuff, other times I'll completely go beta.

For majority of people I think it's possible to change at least partially from being beta. Ofc you have these few bad apples that will be beta4lyfe.

Post: #16

Yes, personality is genetic. Kids are born with a temperament. Not only do studies show this, but so does observation. For my part, I've seen it with my brothers three sons. Each was born with the exact personality he would develop later on. We don't really change.

But what this doesn't take into consideration is that Alpha is situational in many respects. For example, I was always shy but was a natural writer. So I became editor of every newspaper in school and college. In this realm, I was Alpha. And because this realm extended into others (everyone wants a good newspaper write-up), I was able to use it to become Alpha in a lot of respects.

And this is what Alpha is about to some degree. Those who aren't born extroverted and with natural leadership probably have some ability others don't have. Make that ability work for you and you become Alpha, at least in your realm.

Once you do that, meeting women will come naturally because you'll be in situations where you'll meet them.

For an example of what I'm talking about look at some of the founding fathers of modern computing. When they were young if you put them in a sports game or at a party, they'd be the rejects of the Western World. But a few years geeking out with computers and they practically now run the Western World.

***

All that said, the original post reads to me like troll post. The writing above is really for the regulars here.

Post: #17

(04-28-2016 02:19 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  All that said, the original post reads to me like troll post. The writing above is really for the regulars here.

I didn't want to come out and say it, but I tend to agree with you. There are four threads that he started that are pretty much on the same topic.

Here are the others:
"Beta looking to change his life" 12-22-2013
"Tell me how much I suck!" 10-04-2014
"What's a skill I can learn to make my future easier?" 02-16-2014