Post: #1

if you want to read the whole article it's here: http://qz.com/685852/hookup-culture/

I'm just posting snippets I found interesting

Quote:For years I joked about my “confident Leah” persona, the one I’d tap into with every new crush. I’d send the first text to a cute guy—a frequent taboo at my school—feeling invigorated by being the initiator. And when guys reciprocated my interest, my insecurities were at least temporarily dissolved.
The winter of my junior year, I asked Ben, a quiet, smart philosophy major with bright blue eyes, to a wine and cheese party. We saw each other for a few months. On weekends I’d text him around 10 pm, usually somewhat drunk. We’d meet at one of our dorm rooms, debate philosophy and Fleet Foxes lyrics, talk about our families and aspirations, and then have sex until he came. Give or take some weeknight Netflix-watching or walks in town, I cycled through this routine with at least five guys by senior year.

Quote:After I began having sex with these guys, the power balance always tipped. A few hookups in, I’d begin to obsess, primarily about the ambiguity of it all. My friends and I would analyze incessantly: Does he like me? Do you like him? He hasn’t texted in a day. Read this text. I’m so confused. He said he didn’t want anything, but keeps asking to hang out.
When Ben fell asleep, I’d pretend to doze off as well. During the night, I’d pull the covers or brush his toes, craving an arm around my waist. I’d analyze snippets of our conversation. Sometimes I’d leave an earring on his bedside table when I left, before he woke up. A reason to come back.
With time, inevitably, came attachment. And with attachment came shame, anxiety, and emptiness. My girlfriends and I were top students, scientists, artists, and leaders. We could advocate for anything—except for our own bodies. We won accolades from our professors, but the men we were sleeping with wouldn’t even eat breakfast with us the next morning. What’s worse, we really thought of the situation in those terms: “He didn’t ask to grab breakfast, so I walked home.”

Quote:We were desperate to know what it felt like to be wanted; desperate for a chance at intimacy. Desperate for a hand held in daylight, for public affirmation of desire typically expressed only after too many drinks. Desperate to try commitment, then decide if it wasn’t working, rather than being prematurely cut off from it.
I wished that I could be like the guys, who seemed not to care at all. Ironically, once we stopped hooking up, we became friends, and he actually developed romantic feelings for me.
If this was sexual liberation, it was hard to understand how it was helping women. But I was pretty sure my friends and I weren’t closeted conservatives who wanted to go back to an era of sockhops and going steady.

Quote:After interviewing 75 male and female students and analyzing over 300 online surveys, the solidarity was undeniable: 100% of female interviewees and three-quarters of female survey respondents stated a clear preference for committed relationships. (My research focus was on the experiences of heterosexual women, although of course many non-heterosexual relationships happen at Midd as well.) Only 8% of about 25 female respondents who said they were presently in pseudo-relationships reported being “happy” with their situation.

Months after things had ended between us, Ben said, “I didn’t think of you as a human being while we were hooking up.”

The women I interviewed were eager to build connections, intimacy and trust with their sexual partners. Instead, almost all of them found themselves going along with hookups that induced overwhelming self-doubt, emotional instability and loneliness.
Kelsey reported trying “traditional” hookup culture after a relationship ended, sleeping with various guys as liberated experimentation. “I had this façade of wanting to hookup with people,” she explained, “but I don’t think that was ever the entire motive … And the fact that most of these guys wouldn’t even make eye contact with me after having sex or would run away from me at a party is one of the most hurtful things I’ve ever felt.”
Juliet recalled that, after hooking up with the same guy for three weeks, she heard he’d slept with someone else. She’d convinced herself that they were “just having fun,” but she was surprised at her own reaction.

“The funny part is, and maybe it was the sex that did it, but I actually cared,” she said. “I felt like he had meant something to me but how could he? We had only really known each other for a few weeks … He wasn’t exactly taking me out on dates or walking me through the park during the day or night for that matter, like I did with boys in high school.”
Three years later, the experience still stung. “I told my friends I forgot, but I just didn’t, I couldn’t and I can’t explain why. I wish I were the kind of girl that could forget,” said Juliet.
Sophie, a senior, recalled the sheer frustration she’d felt when friends sent photos of the guy she’d been seeing for weeks at the bar with another girl. (He’d told Sophie he was finishing an essay that night.)
“People see ‘exclusive’ and ‘casual’ as being mutually exclusive, and I don’t think that they are,” Sophie said. “That’s what I was trying to convey to him [after the bar incident], but he couldn’t agree to the whole exclusivity part. But I’m just not interested in having a sexually or consistently intimate relation with someone if it’s not going to be committed, and that stems from wanting to be confident and validated and not used, it’s so little to ask.”

Quote:The truth is that, for many women, there’s nothing liberating about emotionless, non-committal sex. The young women I spoke with were taking part in hookup culture because they thought that was what guys wanted, or because they hoped a casual encounter would be a stepping stone to commitment. In doing this, we actually deny ourselves agency and bolster male dominance, all while convincing ourselves we’re acting like progressive feminists. But engaging in hookup culture while wholeheartedly craving love and stability was perhaps the least feminist action I, and hundreds of my peers, could take.

Post: #2

Oh it's not empowering and you go girl as you thought it'd be ?

You think having one night stands and fucking a guy on the first date would make them like you even more ?

Why would a man commit with a woman who fucks him immediately ? You don't think he doesn't know you've probably done it before and would do it again ?

Women will always catch feelings way more then a man ever would after having sex, it's how we're programmed sweetheart.

You want to feel validated so you sleep with who knows how many guys ? Horrible logic.

Instead of investing in yourself to become a good woman, you decide to join the casual hook up culture and eat pray and love that you'll find the man of your dreams.

Wrong, the man of your dreams is busy working his ass off and finding better quality women who doesn't put her career before him the children you would have with him.

There is no sexual liberation - just a hollowness and deadening inside that follows - that thousand soulless cock stare.

You made your bed, now get fucked in it.

Post: #3

Was this article written by an actual person or did it just materialize? I ask (as I always do) because I don't see any byline posted in the thread.

What is the point of posting an article if we don't know who wrote it? I'll pass on reading anything on this thread until I have that basic info.

Post: #4

Why is this so hard for girls to figure out?

Post: #5

Unhappily, she embraced 'sex-positive' feminism and campus hookup culture and it made her miserable. Even more unhappily, I don't think she learned a thing from it.

Some fine hamsterisms from the article:

Quote:While various academic studies tout the damaging effects of hookup culture, I came across them much more infrequently. Besides, the alternative seemed to me to be abstinence—an equally unfulfilling option.

No it's not the carousel OR abstinence. Clearly a false dichotomy. However, most women create these huge false dichotomies to give ex-post-facto justification to a poor decision, by making the false alternative seem even less attractive. She does it again later:

Quote:If this was sexual liberation, it was hard to understand how it was helping women. But I was pretty sure my friends and I weren’t closeted conservatives who wanted to go back to an era of sockhops and going steady.

Yes, only 'closeted conservatives' want long term relationships.

Quote:After I began having sex with these guys, the power balance always tipped.

Well no kidding. Only one of the biggest things we talk about on here all the time. But was it just that? The female population of colleges in North America is exploding and thus any halfway decent guys are going to do quite well. The reality is they already had much of the power and sex with them just sealed it.

Quote:I decided to devote my senior thesis to answering the question of whether Middlebury women really were playing the game—and if anyone was actually enjoying it.

Nothing like studying something you already suspect is making you and other women unhappy to confirm that it is in fact making you and other women unhappy. Perhaps the notion of self-improvement and change would come in at some point? Of course not.

Quote:The young women I spoke with were taking part in hookup culture because they thought that was what guys wanted, or because they hoped a casual encounter would be a stepping stone to commitment. In doing this, we actually deny ourselves agency and bolster male dominance, all while convincing ourselves we’re acting like progressive feminists.

No modern hamsterization would be complete without blaming men or the patriarchy or SOMEONE ELSE for a woman's bad choices. Women engage in hookup culture because they enjoy it (or at least think they are). If they didn't enjoy it (or think they were), they wouldn't do it. And this woman did initially enjoy it, she admitted it in the excerpts cited above by the OP. What she didn't enjoy was the emptiness she felt as a result of the guys she banged not hooking into her more, a risk she ought to have realized existed at the outset of any casual sex relationship. But instead of acknowledging that, she turns it into the usual "we do this to please boys" trash. Poppycock.

Quote:But if public discourse shifted to center women’s sexual pleasure as well as men’s, I wonder if hookup culture might not collapse entirely. If we taught pleasure-centric sex ed, beginning in middle school and high school and all the way through college, I can only imagine the possibilities.

Nothing would change about hookup culture if guys with no game/experience (which is who she is likely complaining about when she said she had trouble getting off) got better at sex, hookup culture would go on unabated. In fact competition would intensify. It's feminist attitudes to sex and relationships that have created hookup culture, not that men are "bad at sex". Also, most women will still feel empty after being pumped and dumped even if they cum multiple times. The only thing that will change hookup culture is a return to more traditional relationship norms, and that simply is not going to happen with modern feminists spewing what they spew.

While it is easy to take this unhappy girl apart, I'm actually thinking more about how feminism is responding to hookup culture on campus, which is a Frankenstein it has created.

Sex positive feminism was likely intended to give women an edge in inter-gender relations (given that third-wave feminism is nothing more than a zero sum game to power between the sexes). However, in the increasingly female populated colleges, hookup culture has actually given the men a bit of an advantage. A guy who half knows what he is doing, or a decent looking dude can bang all kinds of girls, who are in increasing competition with each other. Consequently, the girls keep riding the carousel and keep getting unhappy about the results. Men just take what the defence gives them, as they always have in any period in history as men are the reactionary parties in the SMP.

This is decidedly not what feminists wanted. So what do they do?

The response to this reality is what I theorize to be the main impetus of: 1) The campus 'rape culture' scare; and 2) Affirmative consent rules. Both of these phenomenon, which are almost exclusively persued by feminists and their allies, seek to put the power of intergender relations on campus into the hands of women. The more restricted men on campus are from freely engaging in hookup culture, the more they thing the power balance will reside in women. Sadly this is really screwing up campus life and will continue to do so, even more than hookup culture ever could. Lives are being ruined (false sexual assault allegations), social growth is being stunted and harmful stereotypes are being proliferated (women need not be responsible for their actions and all men are potential sexual predators).

It blows my mind that feminists haven't thought to just teach women not to act like great big hos and instead seek out strong long term relationships before jumping on a guy's dick (like most women used to for centuries). But they seem to be psychologically incapable of advocating a return to a system that worked better for women's happiness, simply because it is seen as "regressive".

I'm more convinced than ever that the West can only be saved by adopting more traditional roles, however this is simply not going to happen. Women are going to keep slutting it up, so players on here work on your game and enjoy the decline. Just be careful if you're doing it on a university/college campus.

Post: #6

(06-15-2016 12:02 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  Was this article written by an actual person or did it just materialize? I ask (as I always do) because I don't see any byline posted in the thread.

What is the point of posting an article if we don't know who wrote it? I'll pass on reading anything on this thread until I have that basic info.

DOBA, the author is ((Leah Fessler)).

Here's how she describes herself:

Quote:Hello. My name is Leah, and I love to write. I also love talking to strangers, world travel, word counts, and a perfectly cooked beet. I’ve been told I’m direct, determined, and somewhat humorous. I’d like to agree.

She writes with that typical Americunt snark and contrasting images (the cooked beet) which they've convinced themselves into thinking is somehow "funny".

Post: #7

(06-15-2016 12:02 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  Was this article written by an actual person or did it just materialize? I ask (as I always do) because I don't see any byline posted in the thread.

What is the point of posting an article if we don't know who wrote it? I'll pass on reading anything on this thread until I have that basic info.

Byline says Leah Fessler. Her blog.

Looks like a spinster. Sad.

Post: #8

Post: #9

Just like divorcees becoming decrepit, lonely, poor senior citizens the realization that 'you go girl' philosophy is self destructive.

Men, in a basic sense, separate women into "whores" and "wives". Every man wants to bang whores but only a few men put on the crazy goggles and take the 'stripper with a heart of gold' angle and try to wife them up.

Women on the other hand, do not separate their pussies and their brains. If they'll bang him, they also think that 'they can change him and make him settle down' aka alpha widow syndrome.

Carousel Riding is just women trying to act like men and getting burned for it. This bitch doesn't get it. She bought the propaganda despite men signalling to her "if it talks like a slut, walks like a slut and quacks like a slut...."

Post: #10

(06-15-2016 12:02 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  Was this article written by an actual person or did it just materialize? I ask (as I always do) because I don't see any byline posted in the thread.

What is the point of posting an article if we don't know who wrote it? I'll pass on reading anything on this thread until I have that basic info.

They're saying they withheld the names:

The names of students in this story have been changed to protect their privacy. We welcome your comments at [email protected]

Don't know if that makes any difference, but that's the line, anyway.

I see this article as just another cry for help. Most normal women hate the current state of the culture: its emptiness, lack of intimacy, discouragement of traditional roles, etc. They don't like it, but they're trapped in it like all the rest of us.

.

Post: #11

(06-15-2016 12:02 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  Was this article written by an actual person or did it just materialize? I ask (as I always do) because I don't see any byline posted in the thread.

What is the point of posting an article if we don't know who wrote it? I'll pass on reading anything on this thread until I have that basic info.

Post: #12

And in the next segment, this will somehow be the Patriarchy's fault. Men should want to commit to women who sleep around!

Post: #13

Quote:

Makes a guy wonder if introspection is just too difficult for some.

Post: #14

Quote:My girlfriends and I were top students, scientists, artists, and leaders.

You can find lots of articles like this written by young women on the Internets. They all essentially boil down to their basic frustration: they can't have everything they want, exactly when they want it.

What they'd ideally like is to pick the best alpha guy from the guy store, have a quick casual sex hookup with him right away, then have him commit to her ASAP and treat her as his sole monogamous girlfriend and be a "submissive alpha" who never cheats or ever looks at other women, until she tires of him and decides to branch-swing to the next guy who strikes her fancy from the guy store, and repeat the process.

If they can't get this ideal, it means there's something "wrong" with society, or relationships, or men, or "hookup culture", or whatever.

Post: #15

The composer of this article get very close to two truths before her hamster starts running like hell.

Her claims about missing "intimacy" and "closeness" are her instincts screaming at her that sex is a transaction and you are getting ripped off. False remorse-rape accusations have always reminded me of credit card charge disputes.

Also, the fact that women can "hook up" with a caliber of man for quick sex that they couldn't possibly compete for an an actual relationship. If you've been to college and can read between the lines of hamster speak, the author and the girls she goes to college with are all sleeping with the same 10-20% of male student population.

Post: #16

(06-15-2016 01:49 PM)Mikan Wrote:  Also, the fact that women can "hook up" with a caliber of man for quick sex that they couldn't possibly compete for an an actual relationship. If you've been to college and can read between the lines of hamster speak, the author and the girls she goes to college with are all sleeping with the same 10-20% of male student population.

Yep, same old dilemma...they all want to shoot above their pay grade for the top guys, because those guys having options is attractive to them, but are then surprised when they actually want to exercise those options.

It's the "Lake Woebegone" problem; if everyone thinks they're going to lock down a 10 percenter, we immediately have a rather difficult statistical conundrum.

Post: #17

(06-15-2016 12:24 PM)TigerMandingo Wrote:  Here's how she describes herself:

Quote:Hello. My name is Leah, and I love to write. I also love talking to strangers, world travel, word counts, and a perfectly cooked beet. I’ve been told I’m direct, determined, and somewhat humorous. I’d like to agree.

She writes with that typical Americunt snark and contrasting images (the cooked beet) which they've convinced themselves into thinking is somehow "funny".

Yes, what is the name for this category of self-description? It's rampant among all progressives. Weird hodgepodge of "clever" phrases.

Post: #18

So basically she is pondering why sluts feel bad.
You know who doesn't complain about this? Girls who don't sleep around.

Post: #19

At least she was honest enough to admit her vulnerability instead of reacting with a false rape case.

Post: #20

(06-15-2016 01:10 PM)Aquiles_Baesta_Parada Wrote:  AGE 20:


AGE 30:

Post: #21

Quote:The truth is that, for many women, there’s nothing liberating about emotionless, non-committal sex. The young women I spoke with were taking part in hookup culture because they thought that was what guys wanted, or because they hoped a casual encounter would be a stepping stone to commitment. In doing this, we actually deny ourselves agency and bolster male dominance, all while convincing ourselves we’re acting like progressive feminists. But engaging in hookup culture while wholeheartedly craving love and stability was perhaps the least feminist action I, and hundreds of my peers, could take.

Complete b.s. - never believe what a woman says as it reflects how she 'feels' about reality and her surroundings - not how she actually affects it with her actions. Especially the new generation of young women between 15 and 25 love every bit of the attention they receive and on social media sites we're seeing a full fledged arms race for attention. I see those skanks out there snapping away constantly - any vacation destination they visit is being relegated as a backdrop for a photo shoot. Which they then milk for all it's worth on Tinder and other social apps. A large percentage of them hooks up with a different guy every other day. You do the numbers, the cock counter on these skanks easily runs into the hundreds after a few years.

Every time I read a bleeding heart story like that I just lean back and grin from one ear to another. I was one of those schmucks way way back when I was in my 20s trying to find one ounce of humanity in these women. I learned my lessons fast and turned the table on their game without any compunction. I'm an old dog now but can still pull women 20 plus years my junior. If I can be bothered that is. I am very well set up these days and my tolerance for bullshit is hovering near the zero mark.

For you young bucks: Look guys - it's not brain surgery. Actually it's rather simple - those women literally have had hundreds of opportunities to form healthy relationships during their 20 years of sexual prime. They failed miserable and of course won't let the truth or reality interfere with their post menopausal hamstering. Ask any woman who has been in a stable relationship for a decade or more - a real mother who deeply cares about her husband and her children. Those are usually red pill as fuck and confirm every word I said.

Have fun with the cats, girls!

Post: #22

(06-15-2016 01:14 PM)cascadecombo Wrote:  

Quote:

Makes a guy wonder if introspection is just too difficult for some.

Post: #23

Lol. Said states her and her friends were top scienctists and leaders. Sluts leading sluts and what did they critique for science? How fast cum drys on sheets? Yeah man, this world. Also, I like how she states how guys that fucked her; wouldn't eat breakfast with her in the morning. Classic move.

Post: #24

Shocking.

Throw this one on the pile. Maybe she should have read this same story 6 years ago (by some now-post-wall regretful slut).

Disclaimer: Slut should be taken in the least pejorative way possible. The definition being, a woman who has sex simply for the sake of sex, with no exchange of resources or commitment.

Post: #25

(06-15-2016 03:53 PM)fugly1000 Wrote:  Also, I like how she states how guys that fucked her; wouldn't eat breakfast with her in the morning. Classic move.

Who eats breakfast in the morning with a girl they barely know ? Let alone a one night stand.

If anything I'm fucking in the morning.

Shit I didn't even do that most times with my ex.


Just because we don't have breakfast and sit around in the morning with you doesn't mean we don't like you, unless we really feel we made a shitty decision banging you the night before.


I have a feeling guys woke up the next morning next to her and had buyers regret.