Post: #1

Alright so all of last year I did not have my priorities in line, I failed out of a couple classes the fall semester and then violated my academic probation with a couple more bad grades that spring (I was focusing on minimizing alcohol/cocaine abuse which took A LOT of effort but I got through).

I was a heavy daily drinker and had almost zero time management. I started slowly waning my bad habits during the spring semester but it wasn't enough. It wasn't until 3 months ago that I was completely sober. So I changed my living situation/environment, and now i've developed the habits I believe are conducive to success.

This summer I'm taking 2 technical classes, and I'm dedicating/studying at a degree I've never done before.

The Problem: the Dean has already decided to kick me out of my major (Mechanical Engineering). How well I do this summer is not really a guarantee back into the major, BUT it is a strong argumentative point I can make with this man at the negotiations table.

I HAVE NOT met face-to-face with the dean; so him dumping me was purely a logic-based decision. If I establish some interpersonal rapport I do believe I could get back in.

My Question for You : Please help me prepare for meeting with him; like what to dress, how to act, etc. I'll provide my thoughts and you tell me whether I'm off or what I have to tweak. Essentially I have to "game" this guy into liking me so he

His profile:
- Around 50
-very accomplished PhD in bioengineering;
-tons of awards in biotech
-from the east coast (New Hampshire to be exact)
-caucasian male

We're likely dealing with an individual with a gigantic ego, and self-esteem.
Most likely an extremely passionate liberal.

So I think I should approach him in an extremely respectful, but confident manner (ie, slightly bowing when shaking his hand, calling him sir, sitting upright in my chair when talking, enunciating my words without any condescending tint to it, not turning my back to him).

He's well-groomed, so I'll reciprocate by wearing glasses (to convey that I'm serious about my academics) with matching casual clothes (to convey I have my shit together).

I'm middle eastern so I don't know if I should play the minority card (appeal to his liberalism) by letting my facial hair grow or appeal to his caucasian by shaving. Any opinions on this? He might be a self-hating caucasian though due to the environment he's been in (extremely liberal campuses) for his entire life.

I'll also open up by asking him how his day went, then it'll probably segway into a quick conversation about his research; i'll feign some interest in what he's doing. Maybe crack a very very PG joke if the opportunity presents itself.

The entire time I'll focus on being light-hearted, jovial, and extremely positive. I'll probably take some phenibut beforehand to facilitate this.

Then during the negotiations I'll bring up how my passion is to work in biotech eventually (APPEALing basically to this dude's life fucking passion). I'll spend 30 minutes/day this summer reading about biotech research so I can have a firm grasp on the concepts, and maybe this sparks a cool conversation about the topic.

I'll throw in my summer grades as concrete evidence of my "newfound" rededication to studies and why I deserve to be back in the major.

I'll close by thanking him for his time and letting him know that I fully respect whatever decision he makes.

I'm pretty sure this is going to work, anyone else want to offer any input/advice?

Post: #2

If this is not a troll post, find something to talk about beyond school that you are doing that relates to your degree amd desire to succeed in your field. And for the love of god get your shit together. Instead of faking it how about actually changing?

Post: #3

I think you are over thinking this. A few good steps to do that I would like for an individual to have if I were in his position.

A concrete and written plan on what steps you will take to succeed first in the program and then as a career in the field you choose.
For example:
Improve GPA to __________.
Complete _______ internships.

Evidence that you are on the correct path.
For example:
Proof that you completed substance abuse courses.
Any continued treatment/counseling you still attend.
Improved summer grades.
Letters of recommendation.

Wear a suit

Offer your apology for disrespecting the program, school and Dean by not taking it seriously enough. Assure that it will not happen again. State that the experiences you went through will make you a stronger candidate than other students while in the program and once graduated. Thank him for his time.

Be genuine with those words and honor them as well.

Post: #4

Does the dean like booze and cocaine?

That would be a life saver, but if not, just tell him your plan and admit you fucked up. Don't over think it.

Aloha!

Post: #5

Just tell him to go fuck himself, in a passionately liberal fashion.

He will respect your Alpha male persona, honestly. trust me!

Post: #6

As someone who has counseled probably thousands of substance abusers, one idea I think you should bring up and be aware of for your own sobriety chances is this:

Some people cannot use alcohol at all, or their life will be ruined until they stop.

Generally people who find social support for sobriety have a better chance of maintaining it because others see them going off the rails of stability before they themselves do.

Here's some imagined lines:

I cannot use alcohol at all, or my life will be ruined until I stop.

It's been really hard for me to accept there's no grey area for me, and if I start drinking again, everything will fall apart as long as I continue drinking.

(He's an engineer) " With my nervous system, it's like disconnecting the steering in a car. Once I've done that, nothing else I do matters."

I'm working closely with (sobriety support system-- AA, Social Worker , psychiatrist, etc. ) (This shows you are not arrogant and thinking of yourself as different from other addicts and can "tough it alone")

The big thing with successfully sober addicts, like criminal thinkers, is that they don't MINIMIZE how they've fucked up and they accept the CENTRALITY that sobriety must have for them to succeed.

It's not ONE of the things you do, it's THE CENTRAL THING on which every other success in your future life depends.

Post: #7

Lots of undergrads blow off freshman year so you wouldn't be the first one he's seen. Admit to the alcohol problem (don't mention the coke), mention you're sober x months and attending AA meetings or something along the lines IKE mentioned above, hint at an unspecified personal problem that drove you to drink but is now resolved, stress your determination to make things right and request a second chance, perhaps another semester of probation with an even higher GPA required to get off probation? Don't overthink your dress and grooming just be comfortable and professional, and be authentic when you say "I realize now what a huge mistake I made and really want to do things the right way" Good chance he won't turn you down. Hopefully you didn't have other discipline problems (campus police) that he knows about. Attend a time management lecture/read a book, so you can show him you're addressing that as well. Don't suck his dick about bioengineering unless that's something you are truly interested in.

Post: #8

Do you know anyone on faculty who likes you?

You might pick up a couple of small tips about dealing with the dean by having a casual chat with a faculty member.

If you happen to know someone on faculty who likes you personally, they could maybe write you a brief letter. If they only agree to write "Gyro attended my course last semester", it won't be worth showing. The best you could hope for is "Gyro submitted coursework for my class last semester that was commendable. He has the capacity to succeed at this degree if he applies himself to his potential."

Post: #9

1) What makes you think he's a liberal?

2) What makes you think that charming the Dean will have any impact on your shit-tastic GPA?

Even if he was a liberal, mechanical engineering is a meritocracy and it doesn't care if you're a white male or not. Plenty of ME's are "beta" but it doesn't mean they're going to be persuaded by a first year student who looks like he doesn't give a shit about the program.

I know a guy like you who did something similar. He tried working full time while taking college courses his first year. He ended up flunking 80% of his courses and as a result, he has been working his ass off for the last three years to just barely squeeze his way into the program. Now he has two years left.

Barring all that, I'd just say fuck it and transfer. Different schools have different rules, but the way mine worked was that my "local" GPA was more indicative of whether or not I'd get into the program than my overall GPA. Meaning that you can pick the right school, get good grades and get into the program.

As far as the actual meeting, clean shaven, wear a suit, and above all be respectful of his decision. The summer grades will help and if you're lucky you could get put on a form of probation where you have a semester to get your shit together.

Post: #10

Show him the success you've made over the summer. He will want to see results.
Then ask for one more semester to prove yourself.

If you don't get results this summer though then you're SOL