Post: #1

I apologize in advance; English is not my native tongue. I’m 21 y.o. and until recently I’ve considered myself a gay guy, I have even “came out” to my friends. But after reading a couple of Jack Donavan’s books and coming across some manosphere blogs like ROK and chadhowsefitness.com, truth hit me hard, SO hard, I felt and still feeling an overwelhming amount of anger.

En fin de compte, I'm not the entitled special snowflake that leftist propaganda has made me believe I am. And naturally, I've started to question every single belief that I've taken for granted until now, including my own "sexual orientation".

I remember fancying as a young 4-7 y.o boy, but since my parents went to work in another city, my aunts took the responsibility of my education, with all what it ensues: taking up their manners, ideals, way of speaking, playing with girls only... To having solely girl friends through high-school and college.

I had the exact same education as my aunts’ daughters, whom even used to put make up on my face as I partook in the same “fun”.

Between the daily bullying at school and my utterly confused mental state I stumbled across a 4 words sentence, that I consider now one of the most insidious SJW invention to date: “You might be gay”. And god forbid they let you exit the internet without the “starter pack” : the gay community/lifestyle/culture.

In his book Androphilia, Jack Donovan describes the “gay culture as providing a just-add-vodka instant lifestyle complete with social group, musical tastes, affected behaviors, anti-male feminism, victim mentality, leftist politics, diva worship, fruitcake symbolism, and fixation on superficial features like looks and fashion”.

My friends, I am very keen on this pursuit. Discovering the manosphere truly felt to me like a homecoming. In fact, I’ve always known that it is not who I am even while being fed the “it gets better, you are born this way” narrative. And luckily I have never had sex with a guy before, my experience with gay sex was limited to the daily jerk off to porn.

A commenter over ROK told me what if you are really homosexual and he has a point because when I try to “reboot” my attraction to girls, doubt arises : is it a genuine endeavor or I’m I just ashamed and not able to accept myself as I am. But through constant prayer and meditation I realize that the answer is the former.

I'm really, really looking forward to hear your opinions and suggestions.

Here's a reply a received on a comment at ROK :

Quote:If I were you, I would focus myself on a course of self-improvement. It is never too late to be a better you, and half (or more) of the improvement comes from the journey itself.
Start by putting all the sexual stuff aside. Don't masturbate, don't have sex, etc. Also, put the gay question aside for now, too. Just focus on self-improvement.

RoK is full of articles linking to various self-improvement books and techniques. All the resources you need are either here, or linked here.
Start with lifting. Stronglifts 5x5 is a great introduction to lifting – it doesn't take much time, it's straightforward, focused on the basics, and you can gain real strength successfully. That was my starting point and lots of guys have used it to make gains. That said, there are a number of different lifting programs and starter routines on the manosphere that you can find. Pick one, anyone, and get started. You may decide later to pick a different routine or system, but getting started and establishing the *habit* of working out and lifting consistently will be a big boost.

Start eating better. Again, RoK has tons of resources on this, as does the RVF. Find something to complement your lifting and start doing it. Maybe focus on something that will help boost your testosterone, eating clean to avoid artificial hormones, etc.

Read, and read outside of your usual genre. Search RoK for some of the fiction/nonfiction books recommended here that involve the wisdom of the ancients, politics or 'old-school' masculinity. Focus on gaining new and different kinds of knowledge. Avoid relationship-focused stuff for now, look for things on better decision-making, the use of ration and logic, stoicism, etc.

Research self-improvement programs and books on RoK and RVF. Again, avoid Game-related or relationship stuff for now, but rather developing a stronger, more independent mindset, or strengthening your mental core, self-discipline and self-control. Cernovich's Gorilla Mindset is one that comes to mind but there are many others. When you find one that excites you, commit yourself to it and stick with it.

Turn off the TV, video games, movies, and mainstream culture for a while. Focus on your self-improvement: lifting, eating right, reading, etc. Get yourself out of the mainstream Kardashian echo-chamber and start getting some different opinions and ideas in your head – even if you disagree with them – in fact, especially if you disagree with them! The goal of this is to get away from the daily cultural propaganda out of your head, and to immerse yourself in some of the ancient wisdom of man, as well as some of the new wisdom that the manosphere is developing.

As you start eating better and lifting, start shifting your focus, as well. Cut out extraneous things (including people) that detract from you doing this work on yourself. This will be tough, as you will be used to your old habits, and the people around (including your Aunts) will not want you to change and will make it difficult for you. But you can do it.

Once you find a lifting program, an eating regimen and a self-improvement focus, commit yourself to leading this lifestyle for 30 days. 30 days of lifting, eating right, sleeping well, abstaining from sex, avoiding mainstream culture, and gaining ancient/modern masculine knowledge/perspectives. Set goals, and hold yourself to them. Keep a daily log of your progress, your setbacks, and how you feel

As the end of the 30 days starts to wind down, start reevaluating. Is the lifting program working for you? Don't give up on it just because it's hard, or because you don't like lifting. But if you find a different program that you think will work better for you, then maybe give that a try. Same thing for eating, self-improvement strategies. Don't give up on something because it’s too tough or inconvenient – rather, just move to something else after you do your research and find something that you believe, from a rational mindset, will meet your needs better.

The overall point of this is to build a better you, physically and mentally. Get your mind, body and your emotions in a better place, and start really feeling better about yourself. Get to a place where you feel more educated, and more rational, and where you are making decisions from logic and reason rather than need, boredom, outside influences or fear. Shore up your self-discipline, build up your inner strength and your mental toughness. (Note: the lifting is a big part of this, as it affects the biochemical mix and your mental/emotional function).

You want to move from being a sailboat drift in the mainstream cultural sea, blown about by the ever-shifting winds of popular opinion. Anchor yourself on the core wisdom of mankind that has been tested and refined over centuries of time. Build yourself up, inside and out, to resist the external forces trying to push you to the left… or even to the right, for that matter. Set your feet on solid ground, and become confident in choosing your own path, whatever that may be.

After some time and serious commitment to making these changes, and when you get closer to that goal, then reconsider your sexuality. If you want to be homosexual, go ahead, just make sure it is your choice and not something conditioned into you by outside forces (at some point, you may also realize that you can be homosexual without being a big gay fag, too, but this is kind of advanced level).

I'm not suggesting that any of the above will 'turn' you straight. All I know, if you are so unsure about a major part of your identity, you need to get your mind and your emotions in a solid place before you can really figure that shit out.

A last note of warning in case you decide to try being straight: before you start actually begin interacting with females on anything even approaching a heterosexual level, go read every single Game resource you can find. Read Roosh, read everybody and everything. Learn Game, love Game, fucking become Game. Because if you try to enter the hetero market these days without Game, you're gonna go running and crying back to the gayness with a quickness, my friend.

Good luck.

Post: #2

Post: #3

Post: #4

(08-04-2016 02:02 PM)BBeagle Wrote:  Between the daily bullying at school and my utterly confused mental state I stumbled across a 4 words sentence, that I consider now one of the most insidious SJW invention to date: “You might be gay”. And god forbid they let you exit the internet without the “starter pack” : the gay community/lifestyle/culture.

In his book Androphilia, Jack Donovan describes the “gay culture as providing a just-add-vodka instant lifestyle complete with social group, musical tastes, affected behaviors, anti-male feminism, victim mentality, leftist politics, diva worship, fruitcake symbolism, and fixation on superficial features like looks and fashion”.

Absolutely great description. Yeah, Jack Donovan is great. I don't have much to add to the discussion, but I just wanted to say that in Germany, I have even seen a new german word come up that describes this behaviour: "Ausweichsexualität", which roughly translates to "avoidance sexuality".

I had never seen this word before, although I have been surfing german manosphere-related websites for around 3 years now. The word seeks to describe how heterosexual men seek gay sex in order to avoid the potential rejection that comes with seeking heterosexual sex.

If a word like that is invented and slowly makes it into a language, that means there must be many more out there who share the same development as you do.

Best of luck to you, and try to ignore those juvenile "Dis' gon be good" comments. We're here to help each other.

Post: #5

While I originally wanted to call out a "half a fag troll", I'll actually go with this cause my troll senses weren't tingling after reading it twice.

I'll agree with the RoK comment. Dive into self improvement, read the masculine books and books about men overcoming great obstacles, lift heavy (start slow, not just walk into a gym thinking you can deadlift a Volvo) not any of the sissy cardio light weight bullshit, and continue to pray and meditate on it.

Don't focus all on game right away, but start putting in some work. Let's turn a bad upbringing in your favor, you were raised by women and talked to them all the time, right? Use that to your advantage. I'm mean there are some straight men out in the world terrified of speaking to a woman. Start small, see one that catches your eye? Just walk up and have small talk then leave. Only progress when you see yourself progressing.

Post: #6

At the risk of falling for a troll, i'll bite.....

All the self-improvement is certainly great advice to be followed....but how do you feel about women sexually? You may have thought about them or prayed about them or meditated on the subject, but nowhere do you mention anything about seeing hot women out in public, or being attracted to them, or wanting to tear their clothes off and fuck them in the bathroom/bushes/closet/nearest hotel etc. I don't know that you should have to reboot your desire for women, or that you even can do such a thing, if it's not there, it's not there. If you don't instinctually look at a hot woman and want to take her to the bedroom immediately, I don't know if any amount of talking and thinking on the subject will change anything. Having a drive for banging hot chicks can be the thing that fuels you, and energizes you in your quest for self-improvement, and gives you the motivation to accomplish things in many other areas of your life. Where is your passion for wanting to fuck hot women, or your passion for anything? You mention watching porn, do you still watch gay porn, or straight porn now? You still sound a bit confused, and i'm just curious what your sexual desires and motivations are underneath it all.

If you are trying to "reboot" your attraction to girls, and doubt arises....

Post: #7

Post: #8

50/50 on the troll. However for the benefit of anyone else reading who might be in the same or similar boat; welcome to the manosphere. Regardless of who you are sexually attracted to, it is important that you have seen the wisdom and benefits of patriarchy and traditional, conservative values.

While ROK and the forum may be a smaller tent (and that won't and doesn't need to change), conservatism today reaches many groups and you will be welcome.

Post: #9

High effort trolling but ultimately a failure

Post: #10

If this is true, then your only choice is to cut your contacts and restart your life in a different city.

Observe the reactions in this thread.
As far as they're concerned, you've already torn your man card in half, and they're not issuing you a new one.

Post: #11

I don't understand what this thread is about.

Post: #12

If you are gay, you just make Milo you're role model. I'm sure Milo lifts and he seems way more masculine than pretty much every cuck SJW faggot male that interviews him. Plus Milo is extremely red pill, actually seems cool, politically correct and a conservative. And this guy is flamboyant gay..which is even more surprising.

Plus you can see girls visibly getting turned on by him everytime he speaks.

We don't hate gays on here, we just hate it when they push their femininity and their gay lifestyle/politics onto us straight males and play victim, such as saying that being gay means they are discriminated against. Gays who are leftist or side with feminism or man-hating are especially the worst.

Post: #13

Not sure if trolling, but I'll bite.

To the OP -

Your post doesn't list any specific goals, so I think that is why the replies so far have been very non-specific.

What exactly do you want to achieve? What are your goals at this time that you wish to have assistance with? Your post just vaguely talks about your concerns but there is no sense of direction. However, it does seem that you are angry and confused about your sexuality and you want to clarify for yourself your sexual identity.

If you are trying to find out if you could actually be bisexual or heterosexual, then completely abstain from male-male porn, while at the same time forcing yourself to jerk off daily to male-female porn for 3 months. Psychologically at first you might not find male-female porn interesting so that's why you have to force yourself.

If by the end of the 3 months you are sexually attracted to women, then your gayness was probably just a mild bisexuality or the result of psychological grooming.

It's also important, during these 3 months, to objectify women. Cut out all female friends from your life (men and women should not be friends in the first place) and try to minimize interactions with female relatives and coworkers. Take the pussy off the pedestal. Women will always subconsciously attempt to sabotage a man's sexuality, so it's important to cut them out of your life and view them as useless outside of their biological functions - therefore they have no worth as friends, partners, or even as people with opinions. They are overgrown children who will sabotage you for their own selfish reasons if you give them any space to maneuver in. Since you suspect that your sexuality is the result of mental sabotage by your female relatives, then for 3 months be a sexist dick, cut them out from your life if you can, cut them down if you can't, and see if any latent heterosexuality awakens.

If by 3 months of being a sexist dick jerking off to titty porn doesn't awaken any heterosexual desires within you, then you probably are gay. In which your problem is not so much your sexuality, but rather the fact that you intensely dislike gay culture and that you are seeking a healthy, acceptable method of expressing your masculinity as a gay man. I can't help you there, and I don't think anyone here can.

But yeah, good luck.

Post: #14

I think this post is genuine, though I would have recommended you build some cred and then PM a mod about asking the community such a question. This type of 1st post raises eyebrows.

First stop the port, male/female it's all bad.

OP, a lot of sexual attraction is an almost opposites attract type of deal. Have you considered trying to find and befriend women with more masculine mannerisms?

I don't mean butch, but more logic driven and less feely. They're still women at the end of the day, but are more grounded and process driven.

See if you have an attraction to them. You'll be able to find girls like this in non-traditional places.

If it helps, a lot of people asked me that very same question when I was young too. I was never had attraction to men, but my mannerisms were very theatrical and on top of that I was very social. I hated it and the constant questioning made me dive into "gaming" women before game was even a concept in my mind.

The advice you've been given is good. Take it, run with it, and see if anything changes when you've cleaned yourself up.

Post: #15

http://www.theoccidentalobserver.net/201...in-part-1/

Quote:(4) Further brain research was to give rise to truly spectacular results in behavior modification, but this was at the cost of “deeply unethical experiments”, to quote one politically correct academic researcher. This research, conducted by two daring and enterprising scientists called Drs. Moan and Heath, was abruptly halted because, among other things, it had come up with a possible cure for homosexuality. Moan and Heath had obtained permission to engage the services of a hooker to see if she could turn on a confirmed homosexual male in the laboratory. Initially, the sight of this sexy young woman not only left patient B-19 completely cold but actually disgusted him. He found the idea of having sex with an attractive female quite repulsive. However, on being wired up and having the pleasure centers of his brain stimulated with electrodes, while the hooker proceeded to perform her tricks on him, patient B-19 began to perk up and soon experienced an impressive erection. “And then, despite the milieu and the encumbrance of the electrode wires [poor B-19 was attached to an EEG machine the whole time], he successfully ejaculated [in her vagina].”

(5) Needless to say, such experimentation could not be allowed to continue, even with B-19’s full consent and cooperation and even though many homosexuals might want to become heterosexual and start families.

Try associating hot girls with sexual pleasure, and maybe get electrodes if necessary. Normally I wouldn't advocated getting a hooker, but I'll make an exception in this case.

Post: #16

OK I've no idea if its a troll or a guy who's finally seen the light.

However, I've seen numerous former homosexuals see the light. One was an ex childrens home boy who was targetted by a far older businessman. Years later, he left the older male, got married had kids. Another was a bi girl who'd be beaten up by her dyke "girlfriend" when she even mentioned the topic of BI-sexuality.

There's a vast amount of grooming kids by older homosexuals. Mostly males but sometimes lesbians too. Because of endocrine disruptors, kids are more susceptible today to homosexual grooming. And few kids would even dream of reporting a homosexual attack/inappropriate behaviour.

But the fact remains, we only witness the tip of the iceberg of homosexual grooming, attacks and brainwashing.

The homosexual lobby is obscenely sinister. Look how they stole images like the rainbow. Anyone remember the biblical meaning? Something about God's love after the storm etc. And look how the pure and innocent word "gay" was stolen. So now little kids read "Peter the Rabbit woke up and felt very gay". Its sickening.

Endocrine disruptor poisoning can be treated (diet, better nutrition and sweating out toxins) Also avoid contaminated shit like soy and eat meats and a balanced diet etc. Brainwashing can be treated. Likewise childhood trauma is part of the cause of homosexuality. Again, it MUST be treated. Because child abuse is often tranmitted whereby victim becomes abuses, and vastly more commonly amongst homosexuals (acc to the UK govt Home Office stats).

True courage is someone admitting they were wrong, that they were conned.

Post: #17

Post: #18

Kicking porn (and - for now - avoiding the pornographic aspects of Game, and picking up women for hedonic pleasure) is a vital first step.

The WestCoastReactionaries blog reprinted this essay by Anonymous discussing how porn eventually leads to identification with the feminine; honestly, I think a lot of the transsexualism we're seeing is a direct result of porn addiction. I recommend that everyone read the whole thing.

Post: #19

The initial advice you got had a lot of good suggestions, and I would offer you a congrats on challenging the narrative that people are telling you to believe.

Of primary importance is to read as much as you can about the effect that porn and fapping has on your brain. You probably already know this but your brain is ELASTIC, which means it develops grooves and modifies itself based on habits you adopt. You need to convince yourself the porn habit it is costing you big time. Make every effort you can to fully break it (fap if you need to, just avoid porn at all costs), and then reduce fapping as much as possible. This is the biggest part of the reboot.

And of course, do all the other things suggested, especially reading up on game and intentionally adopt a more masculine approach to various life situations. As Roosh somewhere says, as a man you want to be non-reactive like a sturdy oak tree, while women are the wind that swirl around in emotions and reactions to various things. 1) Meditation helps with this and 2) It sounds like your childhood has some unresolved emotions, so you may find help in seeing a good counselor regularly (preferably a man).

Just doing this will work wonders and will begin to re-wire your brain.

Post: #20

(08-04-2016 10:36 PM)spokepoker Wrote:  I don't understand what this thread is about.

Cliffnotes: Gay guy who has been attracted to men his whole life is feeling consternation because he cannot will himself to get boners when he looks at girls. Nothing to see here.

Post: #21

Post: #22

Post: #23

Do homosexuals have hamsters too?

Post: #24

I know the idea of homosexuality being a learned behavior has some pull in the manosphere, but honestly I just don't believe liberal social engineering has the capacity to convince anyone who isn't already interested that "Hey, see where the poo comes out of that other dude over there? Pretty hot eh? I'd bet you'd like to get some of that."

Post: #25

(08-04-2016 02:02 PM)BBeagle Wrote:  I remember fancying as a young 4-7 y.o boy, but since my parents went to work in another city, my aunts took the responsibility of my education, with all what it ensues: taking up their manners, ideals, way of speaking, playing with girls only... To having solely girl friends through high-school and college.