Post: #1

Found this one down the voat hole.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/articl...ss-42.html

Quote:I left the love of my life because I thought I could do better. Now I'm childless and alone at 42

That's the title. Only gets better from there.

Quote:Laughing and dancing with my fiance at our engagement party, I thought I might actually burst with happiness.

Surrounded by our family and friends, I looked at Matthew and felt certain I had met the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with.

Quite simply, he was my soulmate.

We were desperately in love and had our future life together mapped out.
First we would save to buy our own home, then would come a romantic wedding ceremony and children would follow.

It all seemed so simple to my naïve, 19-year-old self. I was, I smugly told myself, the girl who had it all. So why, 20 years later, do I find myself single, childless and tormented by the fact that I have thrown away the only true chance of happiness I ever had?

Eight years after that wonderful engagement party in 1989, I walked away from dear, devoted, loyal Matthew, convinced that somewhere out there, a better, more exciting, more fulfilling life awaited me.

Only there wasn't.

Now I am 42 and have all the trappings of success - a high-flying career, financial security and a home in the heart of London's trendy Notting Hill. But I don't have the one thing I crave more than anything: a loving husband and family.

You see, I never did find another man who offered everything Matthew did, who understood me and loved me like he did. Someone who was my best friend as well as my lover.

Today, seeing friends with their children around them tortures me, as I know I am unlikely ever to have a family of my own. I think about the times Matthew and I talked about having children, even discussing the names we would choose. I cannot believe I turned my back on so much happiness.

Instead, here I am back on the singles market, looking for the very thing I discarded with barely a backward glance all those years ago.

I know I can't have Matthew back, and it hurts when I hear snippets of information about his life and how content he is. Fifteen years after I ended our relationship, he is happily married.

At this time of year, so many people will be assessing their lives and relationships, wondering if the grass is greener on the other side. Many will mistake contentment for boredom, forgetting to cherish the good things they have. I would urge those who are considering walking away from such riches to think again.

How different things would be for me now if only I'd listened to Matthew when he pleaded with me not to leave him in 1997, tears pouring down his face. I was crying too, and it tortured me to watch the heart of the man I loved breaking in front of me. But I was resolute.

'One day I might look back and realise I've made the biggest mistake of my life,' I told him as we clung to each other desperately. How prophetic those words have proven to be.

'I will always be here for you,' Matthew promised. And I, arrogantly, thought that somehow I could put him on ice and return to him.

Matthew and I met when we attended the same comprehensive school in Essex. We started dating just before Christmas 1987 when I was 17 and studying for my A-levels. By that time he had left school and was working as a motorcycle courier.
We got on like a house on fire, and our families each supported the relationship. Before long, we had fallen in love. Matthew was romantic but incredibly practical, something that would later come to annoy me. His gifts to me that Christmas were a leather jacket - and a pair of thermal leggings.

Two weeks later, when we'd been seeing each other for less than a month, he proposed. We were in my little Mini Clubman when he shouted at me to stop the car. Scared something was wrong, I braked in the middle of traffic and we both jumped out.

Then, oblivious to the other drivers beeping their horns, he got down on one knee in the middle of the road. 'I love you, Karen Cross,' he said. 'Promise you'll marry me one day.' I laughed and said yes, thrilled that he felt the same way that I did.
In the summer of 1989, while out for a romantic meal, Matthew proposed properly with a diamond solitaire ring. Two months later, we held our engagement party for 40 friends and family at the little house we were renting at the time.

The following year, we bought a tiny starter home in Grays, Essex, which we moved into with furniture we had begged, borrowed and stolen. We giggled with delight at the thought of this grown-up new life.

I was in my first junior role at a women's magazine and Matthew worked fitting tyres and exhausts, so our combined salaries of around £15,000 a year meant we struggled to make the mortgage payments. But we didn't care, telling ourselves that it wouldn't be long before we were earning more and able to afford weekly treats and a bigger home where we could bring up the babies we had planned.
But then, the housing market crashed and we were plunged into negative equity.
Struggling should have brought us closer together, and at first it did. But as time went on, and my magazine career - and salary - advanced, I started to resent Matthew as he drifted from one dead-end job to another.

I still loved him, but I began to feel embarrassed by his blue-collar jobs, annoyed that, despite his intelligence, he didn't have a career. Then he bought a lurid blue and pink VW Beetle.

Why couldn't he drive a normal car? Things that now seem incredibly insignificant began to niggle.

I began to wish he was more sophisticated and earned more. I felt envious of friends with better-off partners, who were able to support them as they started their families.

I stopped seeing Matthew as my equal. I stopped seeing all the qualities that had made me fall in love with him - his fierce intelligence, our shared sense of humour, his determination not to follow the crowd. Instead, I saw someone who was holding me back.

'I hated the fact Matthew was suddenly putting another woman before me. How dare she come between us! Over the next few weeks, I'm ashamed to say I vented my spleen at both of them in a series of heated phone calls'

I encouraged him to find a career and was thrilled when he was accepted to join the police in 1995. It should have heralded a new chapter in our lives, but it only hastened the end. We went from spending every evening and weekend together, to hardly seeing one another. Matthew was doing round-the-clock shifts, while I worked long hours on the launch of a new magazine.

Our sex life had dwindled and nights out together were rare. I stopped appreciating little things he did, like leaving romantic notes on the pillow or scouring secondhand bookshops for novels he knew I'd love. He was my best friend, yet I took him totally for granted.

After festering for weeks about his shortcomings, I told Matthew I was leaving. We spent hours talking and crying as he tried to convince me to stay, but I was adamant.

My parents were horrified that I was walking away from a man they felt was right for me. My father's words to me that day continue to haunt me. 'Karen, think carefully about what you're doing. There's a lot to be said for someone who truly loves you.'

But, I refused to listen, convinced there would be another, better Mr Right waiting around the corner.

I moved into a rented flat a few miles away in Hornchurch, Essex, and embraced single life with a vengeance. By now I was an editor on a national magazine. Life was one long round of premieres and dinner or drinks parties.

Matthew and I remained close, even telling each other about new relationships. But though I'd dumped him, I never felt the women he met were good enough. I can see now I was acting out of jealousy. I clearly wanted to keep him for myself.

Our closeness was, however, called to a halt in 2000 when he met his first serious girlfriend after me, Sara.

One night shortly after his 34th birthday, I phoned to ask his advice about something.

Matthew was unusually abrupt and asked me not to call him again. 'Please don't send me birthday or Christmas cards any more either. Sara opened your card last week and was really upset. I have to put her feelings first.'

I hated the fact Matthew was suddenly putting another woman before me. How dare she come between us! Over the next few weeks, I'm ashamed to say I vented my spleen at both of them in a series of heated phone calls.

I was completely irrational. I didn't want Matthew back, but felt upstaged by Sara.
Unsurprisingly, after one particularly nasty argument, Matthew put the phone down and refused to take any more of my calls. I didn't realise it at the time, but I would never speak to him again.

Shortly afterwards, I met Richard. It was a whirlwind romance, and within a year we were engaged and buying an idyllic farmhouse in the Norfolk countryside while I continued my journalistic career, commuting to London.

He was a successful singer and, as we toured the country, I thought I had finally found the excitement and love that I craved.

But Matthew was never far from my thoughts, and Richard complained that I often brought him into conversations, even comparing them both.

They were so different. Although outwardly romantic, Richard was repeatedly unfaithful, and I never felt secure enough to start a family with him. Eventually, after three-and-a-half years together, he walked out, having admitted his latest paramour was pregnant by him.

My life fell apart. Over the next year, I struggled to pull myself back together and did a lot of soul-searching. I finally understood what my father had meant. I realised Matthew was the only person who had loved and understood me.
When I heard through a mutual friend that he had split up with Sara, I wrote to him, apologising and asking for forgiveness - and a second chance. It was six years since we had last spoken, but naively I thought he would want to hear from me.
What I didn't know was that Sara was still living at the house and it was she who opened my very personal letter. It included my phone number, and she left me several angry, hurtful voicemails.

Yet again, I had inadvertently caused problems in Matthew's life, so it was unsurprising I never heard from him, despite writing several times over the next few months. In the end, I left it at birthday and Christmas cards, thinking he'd find a way to get in touch if he ever changed his mind.

Then, I heard a couple of years ago Matthew had married his new partner, Nicola. For a few moments I couldn't breathe, then the tears came.

Matthew and Nicola still live in Essex and, as far as I know, don't yet have children. That's the next milestone I truly dread.

It's been 11 years since Matthew and I last spoke, and I have to accept that door has closed.

Perhaps he has found what he is looking for and I am a distant memory.

I have had one other significant relationship since Richard - with Rob - but that recently ended after four years. Rob reminded me a lot of Matthew. He was decent and honourable, the life and soul of the party but with a kind and sensitive side.
But we were each too jaded by previous heartbreak to make it work. And while I wanted children, he had a grown-up son and didn't want to start over again.
So once again I am on my own, my mind full of 'if-onlys'. If only I'd stayed with Matthew, we'd almost certainly be married with children.

Or, maybe Matthew wasn't the right man. I will never know the answer, but my decision to leave him has definitely cost me the chance of ever becoming a mother.
Now I can only look back and admonish my selfish, younger self. When I visit friends and family back in our home town, I can't help but hope I'll bump into Matthew.

I'd like to think I'd say sorry. That I will always be there for him. But I wouldn't be surprised if he turned his back on me and kept walking.

To those out there thinking of walking away from humdrum relationships, I would say don't mistake contentment for unhappiness, as I did. It could be a choice you'll regret for the rest of your life.

God save us from people who mean well. -storm

Post: #2

I honestly don't know whether to laugh or cry at this sad shit.

Congratulations honey, you played yourself.

Post: #3

Reality is a cruel mistress.

Post: #4

...and that's what they call getting your "just deserts".

I wonder what the author's motivation was in writing this. Did she just need to vent? Was she looking to gain sympathy? Likely both. Maybe, just maybe, she finally learned from her mistakes, but not before "hitting the wall", of course.

Personally, I don't feel the least bit sorry for her. She took a hypergamous gamble and lost. From a coldly evolutionary perspective, any woman too stupid to find someone to mate with -- despite having a huge advantage as compared to men attempting the same feat -- deserves to have her genes unapologetically weeded out of existence, as Mystery might've said.

Thank you for sharing this.

Post: #5

She's okay looking for 42; gave up single women in their early 40s like this should be easy lays for the younger players seeking out the cougar experience. And there are bazillions of them out there.

We can't turn back time, but if we work together I think we can make life a little better for the older women out there who still try to stay thin. It's really the least we can do.

Quote:Then, oblivious to the other drivers beeping their horns, he got down on one knee in the middle of the road. 'I love you, Karen Cross,' he said. 'Promise you'll marry me one day.' I laughed and said yes, thrilled that he felt the same way that I did.

Thanks for making me late to my meet with that 27 year old from Tinder, ya corny assholes. Bill in the Hyundai over there got it worse, he had to be on time for work or he'd lose his job.

Post: #6

If this article has helped her move on, then so be it.
Now she should just shuttup, get over him, and she might be able to move on, meet a guy, and have a baby. 42 is not ideal, but she still has a short window

Post: #7

Literally failed at life.

Post: #8

Invest in cat food companies

Post: #9

This is why societies have always reigned in women's base instincts and emotions: it's themselves that they hurt just as much as men.

Post: #10

^ Seriously though, there could be good money in that. We've talked before here about how to profit from the degeneration. You could target feminist conferences, HR departments, alumni associations for marketing. Target cities with the highest spinster / feminist ratios. Carry kittens with you into their get-togethers. Why ask where the pet shop is when you can be the pet shop.

Post: #11

(10-26-2016 02:29 AM)Phoenix Wrote:  ^ Seriously though, there could be good money in that. We've talked before here about how to profit from the degeneration. You could target feminist conferences, HR departments, alumni associations for marketing. Target cities with the highest spinster / feminist ratios. Carry kittens with you into their get-togethers. Why ask where the pet shop is when you can be the pet shop.

You magnificent bastard, I love the idea.

Post: #12

(10-26-2016 02:39 AM)Guriko Wrote:  

(10-26-2016 02:29 AM)Phoenix Wrote:  ^ Seriously though, there could be good money in that. We've talked before here about how to profit from the degeneration. You could target feminist conferences, HR departments, alumni associations for marketing. Target cities with the highest spinster / feminist ratios. Carry kittens with you into their get-togethers. Why ask where the pet shop is when you can be the pet shop.

You magnificent bastard, I love the idea.

Classic opener just got much better:
"Do you know where the closest pet shop is?"
"Yes, it's there and there"
"No, it's right here!" *pulls out a kitten*
Pussy for pussy, that's next level game right there.

Post: #13

The superficial old maid always looking out for joining high society. Lament will get you nowhere. You should have listened to your father.

Post: #14

Gave me a feeling of joy to read this.

Post: #15

Them photos!





That title!

I left the love of my life because I thought I could do better. Now I'm childless and alone at 42

Post: #16

She looks like a sad sack.

Post: #17

This woman is a forerunner of this kind of behaviour, there is a whole generation following in her footsteps.

At least she had her shot and decided to pass it up, there are masses of young woman out there now who haven't even given themselves that chance.

I wonder what our society will look like in another 20 years.

Post: #18

This raises an interesting question for us though, with the roles slightly reverse.

Say you are 38, not too old but already reached your prime couple years back. Your finances are all in order, but you wont be Bill Gates. You have game and can still occasionally pull quality, but you are losing the edge to younger guys.

You are in a LTR with a girl with mother-of-your children qualities: 25-28, traditional, loving, cook and clean, wants stability, low maintenance, a solid 7 but not more. You know you wont find girls like this everyday, but you cant help lusting after all the young pussies waving at you.

Your girl want children (justly) and set her ultimatum.

Do you get the ring or you keep playing the field, thinking like the women in the OP, that a better adventure awaits you elsewhere?

Post: #19

TL;DR whining 40+ year old woman, a dime a dozen nowadays. She'll never have the opportunity to find someone again, she's washed up at that point unfortunately.

Post: #20

Cunt deserves it. Her hypergamy is as bad as Cornish women, collectively dickriding the Vikings, to the point that led to the death of the Cornish language and its attempted revival since 2009.

Post: #21

(10-26-2016 12:05 AM)LeoneVolpe Wrote:  ...and that's what they call getting your "just deserts".

I wonder what the author's motivation was in writing this. Did she just need to vent? Was she looking to gain sympathy? Likely both.

She's hoping that "Matthew" will read it, realize he still loves her, and dump his current wife and come rescue her. If not that, she's hoping that someone like him will "man up" and wife her up before her egg basket goes tits up in another couple of years.

Post: #22

Check out the article this same lady wrote only two weeks prior to this one. Or don't, the title pretty much says it all.

I spent £5,000 to look 10 years younger: One woman's quest to turn back the clock on a decade of stress and hectic living



All jokes aside, I do commend her for admitting her mistakes and owning her selfish, arrogant behavior.

Post: #23

I don't see the point of this article. Is she just trying to say hyper gamy is bad? Truth is hyper gamy is inborn and instinctual just like men whose inborn instinct is to chase pussy. Her mistake is not she was being hyper gamous, bc that is inborn. She did not even make a wrong decision - she made a decision that did not work in her favour. So stop whining about it. She is 42 but still has a lot of opportunity in this feminist friendly environment she is in. She is financially well off, got her own house - and if she really wanted a child, there are thousands of betas who would oblige. However, she is stuck in the past of what if. Her first lover whom she regrets over went on to have two divorces. What is to say he would not have divorced her too?

This article I think is more about attention seeking - selling more copies ---- which is how she makes a living. Has little to do with her regrets. Now that the thousands of betas know about her, she will likely be swamped with offers. Which just may have been the real purpose of her article.

Post: #24

Quote:I left the love of my life because I thought I could do better. But Matthew was never far from my thoughts, and Richard complained that I often brought him into conversations, even comparing them both.

Years ago dated a woman who started doing this (and other things too). Worst experience ever, very corrosive.
As soon as a woman even hints at that, walk away immediately no matter her looks or wealth. They have romantically idealized their past and are forever damaged goods. In the best case scenario, what's left for a man is the silver medal and that's not something a man should strive for. Pump and dump, it's the only thing to do.

Post: #25

(10-26-2016 10:04 AM)lake Wrote:  I don't see the point of this article. Is she just trying to say hyper gamy is bad? Truth is hyper gamy is inborn and instinctual just like men whose inborn instinct is to chase pussy. Her mistake is not she was being hyper gamous, bc that is inborn. She did not even make a wrong decision - she made a decision that did not work in her favour. So stop whining about it. She is 42 but still has a lot of opportunity in this feminist friendly environment she is in. She is financially well off, got her own house - and if she really wanted a child, there are thousands of betas who would oblige. However, she is stuck in the past of what if. Her first lover whom she regrets over went on to have two divorces. What is to say he would not have divorced her too?

While I do agree that the article is truthful yet pointless, I disagreed with other points.

She made a wrong and stupid decision. Just like a man chasing pussies ended up in prison or getting divorced raped or other similar ends, makes a stupid decision. It was wrong and stupid because she had an unrealistic views of reality. At post-30 and already married once, her values go wayyy down and a hypergamous jump when she didnt have a clear target is stupid and naive.

Quote:She is financially well off, got her own house

Just like her, you dont understand the nature of woman. All of this means jack shit to woman in terms of happiness. Thats the lies feminists been selling for years - work on your career, get a house, forget about settling for a husband. And look where that land her?

Quote:there are thousands of betas who would oblige

Again you missed the nature of woman, as well as that of hypergamy. They dont want children from a beta male. Their very nature urges them to have the best genes for their offspring. Which leads back to my previous point:

She doesn't know her place in the dating market, nor understand the nature of man. Her pump and dump boy friend the singer would never settle down with her, and indeed he would go for younger, tighter pussy as said in the article. This is why monogamy and family were instituted, and a wise woman would have happily settle down with her first husband who would actually stick around and provide for her and her children.

Its not about thousands of beta males wanting to wife her up: look at her subsequent boyfriends, she wasn't happy with any of them. Yes she could have settled down with one, but she will be actually 10x more resentful of herself, her beta husband and even her children.

In her best years she is barely a 6. She found a husband who, by her very own description, was probably too good for her. She was stupid enough to jump ship for a better shore, only to find out she got into a shitful of desert, and now is too late to catch another ship.

Sadly this is the tale of every 40s something ever.