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How to Win the Divorce
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TSC2295 Offline
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Post: #1
How to Win the Divorce

Vidi, Vici, Veni.
12-23-2016 01:35 PM
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Alpha_Romeo Offline
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RE: How to Win the Divorce
That was a good read. If it's a true story, well-played.

I'll repost it here, as Reddit is prone to deleting posts.

Quote:Throwaway as this might not make me very popular, even in ProRevenge.

This all happened to me a few years ago. I told a friend the story of my divorce and I was told to share.

Started a few years ago. I thought we were happy. We were your usual suburban professional couple. Financially secure, healthy, good sex life, two kids (14f and 9m at the time). I thought we had a healthy social life.

We were going through one of your typical married couple rough patches. Both of us were working long hours, not spending enough time together, we were going through some developmental problems with my son and tensions in the house were running a little high.

I noticed that she was spending a lot more time on her phone texting with her "girlfriends". I didn't think much of it. I started making a much more concerted effort to get out of work when I could, help around the house and be more emotionally available, but over the course of a few weeks the gulf just kept getting wider.

I ended up accidentally finding some messages when I charged up an old IPad for my son to use. Her FB messenger was still logged in and there were a lot of highly questionable messages with a guy from her hometown who I will call JimBobCooter or JBC for short. The messages weren't completely inappropriate, but I could tell there were quite a few missing based on the times and context of the messages. I made a mental note to keep an eye on this and went about trying to fix things up.

The next day after I took the day off to knock out some projects that I thought would make her happy, and left her some sweet notes reminding her how much I appreciated her she was once again in the corner of the living room "texting her girlfriends".

I took the boys iPad to the office opened up FB messenger and watched in real time as my wife tore me down. Her and JBC were making fun of me. All of my flaws, insecurities and secrets I entrusted to my partner were now fodder for her and JBC. Not only that, but while there wasn't outright sexting there was a sexual undertone to the whole conversation, especially when she was bashing my performance in the sack.

I managed to take some screenshots, but missed a good bit of the messages, because as the conversation was unfolding she was deleting them.

I wasn't emotionally capable of confronting her. I stayed in the office until she was asleep and had a couple drinks.

I took off the next day and spent some time soul searching, drinking and trying to figure out what to do. The wife came home and wanted to know what was wrong and I just coped out and told her I had a bad day. A couple minutes later I was watching the iPad as the train wreck kept unfolding.

So began a couple solid weeks of taking screenshots, drinking and detaching myself from the relationship. I knew there was no going back from this. The messages were now overtly sexual with my wife completely into it, and JBC was sprinkling in "I love you's".

I consulted a lawyer and got my options, and started moving forward.

Here's where everything got absolutely surreal. Watching the messages I found out JBC was coming to town to spend a weekend of quality time with my wife in a pretty nice hotel. I was missing a good bit of the info, they must have had a phone conversation about it at some point, but I was able to infer enough to get the when and where.

Sure as shit the next day the wife is buttering me up and wanting to take a spa weekend with the girls to relax and when she gets back we can really focus on our marriage. I go with it all the way. It's the greatest idea she's ever had, and I'll do anything to get us back on track.

I get with the lawyer and have him draft a strong separation agreement stating that she would move out, she would get weekend visitation, no child support in the interim until the divorce is final. Then I sit through the most agonizing two weeks of my life. After all this most of my feelings for her are completely gone, and I'm just seething with anger like I've never felt before.

D-day arrives. I take the day off work. I Withdraw half of any money in any accounts we are joint on, leave her half alone. I had already redirected my paycheck to a new bank. I close our money market account and get a cashiers check for her half and deposit my half in my new account. I stop at office max and print out about 75 pages of FB messenger screenshots, and I kill time because I don't want to be at home.

She texts me that she's taking off and that she loves me. I tell her to have fun.

I show up to the hotel at about 830 and call the wife's phone from the lobby. It goes straight to VM. They are probably already at it, whatever. I walk up to the front desk and ask if I can use the phone to be connected to JBCs room. It rings three times and he picks up.

JBC: Hello?

Me: JBC, can you send my wife down to the lobby please?

JBC: I don't know what you're talking about bro.

Me: Ok then. I guess I'll have to call Mrs. JBC and get her down here. (Totally a bluff. I knew he was married, and I knew her first name but that was it.)

JBC: (Inaudible, shuffling, panic)

Me: You got five minutes. Click

Not even two minutes later my wife comes walking out of the elevator looking a little flustered. I sit her down in the corner of the lobby.

Her: Starts spewing bullshit saying it's not what it seems etc etc.

Me: I'm not here to argue. The things that are said in this pile of papers are what's going on. The only way I'm not giving a copy of this to daughter, your parents and emailing it to everyone we know is if you move out immediately. (Wife was very prideful. Daughter was going through a rebellious teen phase and her knowing probably would have forever killed their relationship. Wife was also her parents golden child and she always worried about what they thought of her. I didn't have much leverage and shame was my only card to play. Also her professional life is built up around her image, so I knew she would protect that at all costs.)

Her: Sniffle, mumble, inaudible

Me: This is a check for half of the money market account. I've withdrawn my half of the money from all the other joint accounts. You should have more than enough to get a place.

She starts to cry a little. I could almost see the different thoughts and waves of emotions going through her, but now was the time to keep pressing.

Me: Here is a separation agreement that I think is more than fair considering what's going on. I'm going to need you to look this over, sign it, and leave it at the house when you get your stuff. Do you want to look through these screenshots?

Her: No.

Me: Ok. Go have fun with JBC. Do not come back to the house or I'm going to send this (holds up ream of screenshots) to everyone.

I bounce out of the lobby, and I can hear her start to have a breakdown. I get to the car drive off to a parking lot and have my own crying rage fit. Previously I would have cried in front of her and yelled and whatnot but I managed to get my shit together enough to pull it off.

I don't know what she did that night or over the weekend. She texted and called over and over wanting to talk. I just turned the phone off and by the time Monday afternoon rolled around there were movers getting her stuff and she delivered the agreement. I let her have a talk with the kiddos basically saying mommy and daddy need some time a part, we still love you, etc etc. Standard divorce talk.

After a week she wants to have a real talk for the first time. I oblige her because I've already got my shit together and I've got an idea of what I want, but I should hear her out.

She's so sorry. She wants another chance. She wants her family back. She'll do anything. She's on her knees crying into my lap. I have no intention of ever taking her back.

I tell her she needs to set up marriage counseling on her own at a time that works for me. I tell her that I can't live with her, but she should be around the children to try to maintain a relationship with them.

So starts our new normal of her coming over the house, cooking and having dinner with the kids three nights a week (she always saved me a plate, I made myself scarce), her cleaning the house and doing the kids laundry then heading back to her place.

We went to counseling. It consisted of her working through her issues with the therapist trying to figure out why she did it, her begging for forgiveness, and me stoically playing the victim.

I was never going to give her another chance. All I wanted to do was kill time, establish myself as the primary caregiver to the kids, and establish her as not having residency in the house.

After a few months I go to my own therapist and get diagnosed with depression and PTSD. I ask my work if it's possible to go to part time for the foreseeable future to deal with personal issues, and it's no big deal.

After six months of therapy I told her that I couldn't forgive her right now and that I wanted an amicable divorce, but she is still the love of my life and maybe someday we could give it another try. She was devastated, but agreed to the divorce if I promised to try again someday.

Once the divorce was filed I needed the kids to want to stay with me. I left a google search for "how to survive your wife's infidelity" up on the shared PC at home, and I left some printed out infidelity articles not so hidden in the kitchen. My daughter found them and came to me crying. I told her she wasn't supposed to find those, that mom made a mistake, that mom still loves her, and that I would always be here for her. My daughter who used to hold my wife in such high regard now wouldn't talk to her without screaming, and it crushed her.

Not surprisingly when the court needed statements from the kids a few months later little brother followed big sisters lead and they both wanted to stay with Dad in the house they grew up in.

When the divorce was finalized I got the house (had to buy out some of her equity, but that's ok). I got primary custody of the kids. I got awarded generous child support due to the difference in our incomes due to me working part time.

Now for the last two years I've gotten to live in the house with my kids, work part time, get the now ex to subsidize it for me, and when she takes the kids over the weekends I get to have my fun with tinderellas and some FWBs I've cultivated.

In the eyes of my kids I'm the patron saint of fatherhood for taking the high road and always being there.

In the eyes of my ex I'm the one that got away that she will always pine for, and I get the bonus of having her come over for sex whenever I want it by dangling that carrot of maybe getting back together.

But that is never going to happen.

TLDR: Got divorced and it worked out.
(This post was last modified: 12-23-2016 02:30 PM by Alpha_Romeo.)
12-23-2016 02:29 PM
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booshala Offline
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Post: #3
RE: How to Win the Divorce
Damn, lots of belly laughs from this post and huge respect for this guy... some Machiavellian shit that he played to perfection. *Italian hand motion of deliciousness*
12-23-2016 03:06 PM
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HighSpeed_LowDrag Offline
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Post: #4
RE: How to Win the Divorce
Clap

In other news, OP needs to upgrade his threadposting game.

HSLD
(This post was last modified: 12-23-2016 03:14 PM by HighSpeed_LowDrag.)
12-23-2016 03:14 PM
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Latan Offline
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Post: #5
RE: How to Win the Divorce
Sounds too good to be true.
But if that's indeed the case, that guy has all my respect.
12-23-2016 03:20 PM
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Samseau Offline
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Post: #6
RE: How to Win the Divorce
Gamerecognized

Contributor at Return of Kings. I got banned from twatter, which is run by little bitches and weaklings. You can follow me on Gab.

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12-23-2016 03:34 PM
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BortimusPrime Offline
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Post: #7
RE: How to Win the Divorce
It's awesome if it's true, but reddit stories are notoriously full of shit.
12-23-2016 04:00 PM
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Sam Malone Offline
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Post: #8
RE: How to Win the Divorce
Posting from my phone, I'll circle back later..

Having experienced divorce myself, sounds like this dude put all his dominoes in a row and got what he wanted out of the divorce. There's at least one divorce website for men that advocates this exact approach. Run silent and run deep. Feign weakness when you're strong, and vice versa. Shadow games, and letting your opponent (which is what she becomes) think they have the upper hand.

I question the hotel confrontation, but the rest of the story seems legit.

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12-23-2016 04:59 PM
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Captainstabbin Online
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Post: #9
RE: How to Win the Divorce
How pissed is JBC that his marathon sex weekend was ruined.

In my experience with friends who've gotten divorced, it doesn't matter if she cheated, the negotiations start at 65% in her favor and only go up.
(This post was last modified: 12-23-2016 05:32 PM by Captainstabbin.)
12-23-2016 05:31 PM
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LeoneVolpe Offline
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Post: #10
RE: How to Win the Divorce
Where's the fucking "Post of the Day" pic when you need it?! I certainly hope this story is true.

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(This post was last modified: 12-23-2016 07:24 PM by LeoneVolpe.)
12-23-2016 07:20 PM
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IveBeenFramed Offline
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Post: #11
RE: How to Win the Divorce
Jim Bob Cooter:

[Image: Screen%20Shot%202015-10-27%20at%2012.45....40_480.png]
12-23-2016 07:29 PM
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ivansirko Offline
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Post: #12
RE: How to Win the Divorce
I am unsure if this story is true. I have never experienced divorce but friends and family have. The courts (usually) dont like keeping the kids away from the mother unless she is a headcase. Plus the timing of each of these "events" (manipulation at hotel, manipulation of kids at home) has to be perfect to work. Without kids in the picture there is still imbalance in the courts but not as often.

Still makes for good entertainment though.
12-23-2016 07:36 PM
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eradicator Offline
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Post: #13
RE: How to Win the Divorce
If true, definitely Post Of The Day but it's reddit so "meh"

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12-23-2016 08:14 PM
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Roosh Offline
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Post: #14
RE: How to Win the Divorce
Quote:Now for the last two years I've gotten to live in the house with my kids, work part time, get the now ex to subsidize it for me, and when she takes the kids over the weekends I get to have my fun with tinderellas and some FWBs I've cultivated.

[Image: 6DWnGZ.gif]

It takes less than two years after the divorce and being diagnosed with depression/PTSD to establish a player harem?

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12-23-2016 08:37 PM
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Conscious Pirate Offline
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Post: #15
RE: How to Win the Divorce
^ depends whether you're a narcissist or not.
12-23-2016 09:26 PM
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philosophical_recovery Offline
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Post: #16
RE: How to Win the Divorce
A harem of chubby post wall 3s and 4s is still a harem. One way to bust a marriage slump.

Chances are he was never taking down dimepieces to begin with.

12-23-2016 09:28 PM
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RatInTheWoods Offline
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RE: How to Win the Divorce
Damn

My new hero.

This is the sort of shit that should be taught in "Gender Studies" classes.
12-23-2016 09:34 PM
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deerhunter Offline
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Post: #18
RE: How to Win the Divorce
I have been all the way through a shitty divorce in family court. Pointless trial included. This sounds like a bullshit wet dream from my perspective. It doesn't work that way in my experience. The woman could have cried foul at any time in that story and he would not have been getting his way. Letting the daughter find out her mom was cheating does not work for anyone. Everything in family court is weighted against the man. It is a fucked up system that doesn't work this way for a man. Now if you switch the story to a woman doing all this it would be believable.
(This post was last modified: 12-23-2016 09:44 PM by deerhunter.)
12-23-2016 09:41 PM
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rpg Offline
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Post: #19
RE: How to Win the Divorce
FACEBOOK kills marriages. Wives cheat with guys they know, its for validation. When she isn't fucking you she is saving her pussy for someone else. She wants it tight for the next guy.
12-23-2016 09:47 PM
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Vaun Offline
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Post: #20
RE: How to Win the Divorce
A few things ring true. His nerves of steel are what I question. First off, iMessage "leakage" is very real. The LTR I was in prior to joining RVF was ended, when I found her iMessage texts to some other dude on her iPad. Apparently you can have a high paying job in high finance and still be unable to grasp the complexities of using Apple products. Kicked her out that night, started approaching, totally rewrote my script with women and would never end up in that situation ever again.

What also rings true is the leverage he created by staying low key and building a case. You can't deny that, and for any highly esteemed professional woman, leverage is all you have got. The story sounds fanciful, but if he could control his frame throughout that long process, it could be possible. If I doubt anything in this story, its his self control and ability to think so clearly while his wife was getting boned by some other guy.

And yes, many men get divorced and get out into the game right away. Especially if he had divorced her in his heart long before the actual divorce, this is possible. Its the guys who are surprised by a sneak attack who are left screwed up for some time. They say women move on faster because they decide the marriage/relationship is over long before she actually dumps you. In this case it was the guy. Divorce game recognized if true.
(This post was last modified: 12-23-2016 09:58 PM by Vaun.)
12-23-2016 09:54 PM
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Post: #21
RE: How to Win the Divorce
It sounds like a flawless victory (if real), but I can't help but feel if a man from the Victorian era time-travelled to our present he would be underwhelmed and even despondent at what we widely consider to be too-good-to-be-true. From what I've read men in the past got the kids automatically and he'd only have to prove fault, in this case, infidelity to get a guaranteed divorce (no negotiating).
12-23-2016 10:04 PM
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david.garrett84 Offline
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Post: #22
RE: How to Win the Divorce
Who cares if the story is real or not.

At worst, it is a kind of parable for despondent pre-divorce guys trawling the internet to learn from.

If most men followed these lessons at only 25% of their true capacity, we would witness a qualitative social shift.

We need "creation stories" that uninitiated men can follow and aspire to.

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12-23-2016 10:20 PM
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Slam Offline
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Post: #23
RE: How to Win the Divorce
Wow. Bookmarked.

This is the kind of street-smarts that all men in the modern age need to store away somewhere and remember. (Although hopefully I'll never need to utilize it.)

Really I've never read anything like it. Wish I could buy the guy a drink... Solidarity with the suffering of the divorce and a broken family, but damn what a strong way to play it.
12-23-2016 10:22 PM
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Post: #24
RE: How to Win the Divorce
(12-23-2016 08:37 PM)Roosh Wrote:  
Quote:Now for the last two years I've gotten to live in the house with my kids, work part time, get the now ex to subsidize it for me, and when she takes the kids over the weekends I get to have my fun with tinderellas and some FWBs I've cultivated.

[Image: 6DWnGZ.gif]

It takes less than two years after the divorce and being diagnosed with depression/PTSD to establish a player harem?

I interpreted this as him faking the depression and PSTD in order to further his strategy.

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12-23-2016 10:36 PM
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Post: #25
RE: How to Win the Divorce
(12-23-2016 10:36 PM)RoastBeefCurtains4Me Wrote:  
(12-23-2016 08:37 PM)Roosh Wrote:  
Quote:Now for the last two years I've gotten to live in the house with my kids, work part time, get the now ex to subsidize it for me, and when she takes the kids over the weekends I get to have my fun with tinderellas and some FWBs I've cultivated.

[Image: 6DWnGZ.gif]

It takes less than two years after the divorce and being diagnosed with depression/PTSD to establish a player harem?

I interpreted this as him faking the depression and PSTD in order to further his strategy.

How does it help his strategy? The other side could have used it to convince the judge that he is mentally unfit to be a parent, and give full custody to the mother.
12-23-2016 10:47 PM
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